Couple stupids for you.
I use to goto a preppy high school. Ya know.. the ones where pretty much everyone is white and rich.
Guy: Man! My mom is making me pay for all my bills now.
Friend: That sucks!
Guy: I know! I even have to pay for my phone and utensils! [he meant utilities]
And one from work:
Co-worker: So, you want a whole order of cheese bread?
Me: Ya. On white.
Co-worker: *gets paper, starts writing, stops and crumbles up paper* ..you don't wanna know how I started to write 'whole'.
Me: How?
Co-worker: With a five!
XD