Oh theres sex in the champagne room

[mmmmgreen]

 Last night Steph and I got to talking about our boys and dating...

Our parents raised us in an environment where if we wanted to have a relationship, really the only way we could do it was to get married.  Steph got married just mere months out of high school and while I waited about a year and a half, it was my first really serious relationship

Comments

[redstainedglass]

Hah, I like your method, what my parents did was make me so uncomfortable even talking to them about things, that there was no way I'd bring one home. I think I'll be more direct with my children.

[mmmmgreen]

I think no matter what it is an uncomfortable conversation to have with your parents, but hopefully I can make it easier than my parents did.

I know they are most likely going to be having sex before they get married, and we've talked about it (in depth with Tony) but having it in my house is more than I can handle...

**laughing** not my babies...

[mgs_naughtycat]

I admire your way of thinking. I hope your kids are open enough with you that you can talk about EVERYTHING and not worry about it. Knowing my experience growing up I wonder if my parents thought that they were open... I didn't want to talk to them about sex, and I never really got the sex talk. But it was also extremely tough for me to open up my feelings and emotions to them. Thats a whole different story... but the result was that I couldn't tell them about my feelings for guys as well. So I didn't have relationships until I was a senior, and even then, I kept it a secret... because I knew they wouldn't approve of the guy. But it was the first person that had looked at me, and so I took the chance.
So I admire you for attempting to change the way your parents dealt with you (and your sister). It was definately not a good way, and it didn't help foster a learning experience in how to handle relationships.
*hugs*

[mmmmgreen]

It's tough because some of those feelings are so ingrained, but I also remember the way I felt and the way I snuck around. I would rather know where my children are and know that they are safe (sex) even if I don't 100% approve of what they are doing

[mgs_naughtycat]

I have the same feeling if I were dealing with my children. I don't plan to have any, but I would certainly want them to be comfortable. You can't let kids do whatever they want, but by the same token, you can't tie them down so much that they don't learn for themselves about life. Because kids won't learn it by hearing about it, they've got to experience it and get hurt before they learn something

[mmmmgreen]

**blushing**... thanks

[memyselfeye]

Hello

I about 2 years ago was in your boys situation. In my parents house having my bf sleep over. your rules are good, but i can garentee they will find another way to have sex if thats what they want to do. insted of making those comments (which will make them feel akward) you should sit down witht hem and let them kow that you understand whats going on at there age, but u dotn want any of it giong on in your house. they will respsect your guts, (i sure did!)

im sorry to say it but they will do waht they want. but this is the most effective way of keeping them from doing it in your home. Even the greatest parents cant tame all kids. THey want to do what they want, and most of the time find a way to do it.

Those were just my 2 cents, thought it might be helpful. :)

[mmmmgreen]

It is helpful... thanks....

I know they will most likely be having sex (i keep holding on to that one little hope that they will wait... but realistically I know)...

You're right though, once they reach that point where they have a serious relationship (god I hope they wait until it's serious... well I guess it won't be in my house unless it is) I just sit down and talk to them and tell them how I feel....

I guess if that's what I expect of them, that's what they should expect from me...

[michellecares]

LOL...my husband teases my daughter all the time and says, you can get married when you are 30, but you can't have sex till you are 40...I will probably be dead then.

[mmmmgreen]

Boy I wish it would really happen that way!!

hello

[sketchmaiden]

I love this post! I added you to my friends list. Hope that's ok. :) I also got married young at 18, first serious relationship. 18 years later I have never looked back. i like your ideas by the way, your what kids call a "cool- mom". lol

Re: hello

[mmmmgreen]

Yep.... welcome to the club... got married at 19... first serious relationship, my sister was maybe 2 months past 18...

I hope yours turned out better than mine!!

**laughing**

Yes... I added you back... I love lj friends...

Re: hello

[sketchmaiden]

We have been together for almost 20 years. We have a strong marriage, but there have been those issues... Do you feel cheated because you married so young? If I had to do it over again I would have waited a little longer than I did. I am southern and we tend to marry young! I am older and find that I am content in my marriage, glad to be in the stage of life I find myself in at this point! I would not go back to being 20 something for nothing! :)Also, I am looking forward to an empty nest. We had children during our 2nd year of marriage. But that is a whole other issue. lol

Re: hello

[mmmmgreen]

On the whole, I was happy being married, up until a few years ago I still planned on being married until I was old and gray. I do though feel like I missed out on some milestones of my youth... I mean this house that I live in now, that I moved into when I was 32 was the first house (lease) in my name!!

I think he felt more cheated by missing out on his fun days. We ran into a whole hell of a lot of other problems, that as you read you will see. Suffices to say that he is currently in the California State Prison system.

I do stress to my children that when they are young is the time to go out, meet lots of people, date lots of people, party... etc... and while you can still do it when you are married, you have another person to think about and that affects your freedom. In other words, get it out of your system and be ready to settle down, when you settle down...