The President has probably never had so many happy people gathered about him for his birthday as in this year. All the 75 million people of the Greater American nation stand before him to express their heartfelt best wishes and deepest thanks to him. In the truest sense of the word, this is a holiday for the entire nation. The banners of democracy ( Read more... )

Just got a copy of a message that was sent as an inquiry as to the status of a water bill ( Read more... )

Have you ever gone out to eat at any average establishment (i.e. one at which there are no persons designated to push in your chair for you) and you are not only seated in close proximity to a group with one or more "fussy" (translated loosely to mean: howling and screaming like they had a leg caught in a bear trap) children? You know, the ones ( Read more... )

Just saw an ad for the upcoming video release of 'Catwoman'. At the top of the ad, it said, "Do you like bad girls?". I thought, unfortunately whether I do or not, I like movies that don't suck. :)

A strange thought entered my mind the other day. With the near-obvious dumbing-down of the population and the accompanying breakdown of the english language (misspellings, mispronunciations, and egregious errors in grammar), will there come a time when written english will become more and more rare ( Read more... )

The episode of Stargate I'm watching at the moment is described by the program guide as "A virus on another world turns intelligent people into primitive beings."

My first thought was, "We already have something like that. It's called Monday Night Football."

If you use a check instead of cash as the focus for a prosperity spell, do you end up with more credit cards instead of real money?

Last night, it suddenly occurred to me that in the Wachovia commercials, it almost sounds like they're saying, "Walk over ya".

In the online world, there were once tangible penalties for misspelling words. Get a domain name wrong, and you could be persecuted by an endless stream of popup windows, one after the other - a virtual parade of genitalia, followed by exhortations to fuck it, suck it, lick it, stick it, ram it, cram it, stuff it, fluff it, yank it, wank it, jerk ( Read more... )

Ever notice how when those anti-drug PSAs (Public Service Announcements) say that 4 out of 5 drivers involved in fatal accidents tested positive for marijuana, yet they fail to mention whether or not those drivers were actually intoxicated at the time?