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this must be what it's like to be on tour. living out of a suitcase, sleeping in motels, and eating on the road. i've seen half of america now and i'm not that impressed. i can't wait to get to nova scotia, my fuckin' homeland!! yeah punx! then i'm stopping by maine to see adam, getting my virgen de guadalupe colored, hopefully getting some new ( Read more... )

i'm in love
and i don't deserve it
and i'm so afraid.

i don't want to become attached
i don't want to be consumed by a transient being
i don't want to throw myself into something that hurts...

pure happiness can only
arise from within,
i know this well...

now it's just a matter of
keeping myself centered.

alcohol clouds my consciousness. i've got to stop drinking; it brings nothing but negativity, desire, and ultimately--disappointment. i'm leaving for nova scotia in exactly nine days and i need the isolation so badly. i'm just going to sit in the woods studying and meditating for five weeks. when i return i'll see things more clearly.

"'affection' in the sense of grasping or covetous stinging itch to caress a favored object or being, like a fickle paramour her siamese cat, or a fickle timed tonguelicking girl her boy lover, the nervous twitch to "hold" "keep" "possess" "caress" "fondle" "stroke" "hug" --all transient as a bubble in the sea of time and not anything more than the ( Read more... )

buddhism is blowing my mind. i'm not sure why it took me so long to truly delve into it, but it makes so much sense to me. it's essentially an extension of atheism, which i very much side with, but it's not cynical to the point of nihilism. either way, it's a radical departure from the beliefs i had previously held, and i like that. currently i am ( Read more... )

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attachment to material things only causes pain, especially attachment to other beings. i want to free myself from fear. i want to own nothing. i want to acknowledge that there is no self, there is no ego. easier said than done ( Read more... )

it's 6 am and i'm already feeling the hangover from all of this red wine that will more fully hit me when i wake up in the afternoon. party at eden house co-op. uneventful. people bore me. i give up on love ( Read more... )

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dear slash ( Read more... )