Camp camp chapter 8
Title: Camp camp
Chapter: 8
Author: Oanja
Pairing: Vam
Rating: PG (bad language)
Disclaimer: Not true, don't sue.
Summary: An international youth camp in California for kids to learn new things about themselves. This summer it might be a bit more educational to the camp counsellors than the kids.
A.N: Thanks to sweet_666_777 for betaing.
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7
__________________________
Chapter 8
At dinner he sat with Ville and some kids who he assumed were from Ville’s class; they were all girls and they all seemed to have a lot to ask about music, they were practically making up questions just trying to get Ville to pay some attention to them. It was causing some fierce competition going on between the girls and Bam would have laughed his ass off if he hadn’t been tempted to make up some questions as well as Ville didn’t seem have any time to spare to him, it was really annoying.
But he couldn’t really blame Ville because the other boy kept giving him apologetic looks and rolling his eyes at the girls when he saw that they weren’t looking. This made it easier to bear through dinner, then they escaped the girls, although it was a close cut deal and the only thing that saved them was the girls group leaders who came to tell the girls that they had the laundry opportunity that evening.
When they got to the room Bam flopped on his bed and laughed. “Oh man, you sure are popular. Do you think they have an actual fan club for you already?”
Ville laughed as well and came to sit on the foot of Bam’s bed, leaning his head against the wall. “I hope not. That would be so creepy. So um… I forgot to tell you something when I got back from the showers.”
This sounded a bit alarming so Bam sat up and asked. “What is it?” trying to act cool but feeling anxious all of a sudden.
Ville placed a calming hand on Bam’s knee. “It’s nothing bad. Just that Ryan told me that he’s spending the night with Trish and that he isn’t coming here tonight.”
It took Bam a minute to process why Ville had needed to tell him this but then it hit home that they would be alone in the room. Just the two of them. Alone, for the whole night. Bam swallowed and Ville’s hand seemed to be burning through the fabric making him feel all jittery. He wanted to push Ville’s hand away but at the same time he wanted Ville to move his hand higher. This thought made him blush and Bam jumped up from the bed and stammered. “So, uh, I think we should get going. Don’t want to be late for the evening activities.” and he bolted out of the room before Ville had a chance to say anything.
_____________________
Ville stared after Bam and then sighed. Bam had obviously freaked out. And he hadn’t even had the chance to suggest that they would just maybe kiss tonight, that he wasn’t expecting Bam to jump into bed with him. …although the thought sounded very appealing to Ville, he couldn’t deny that. He had seen Bam with just swimming trunks on and he found the skater almost impossible to resist.
Ville got to his feet and walked out of their room as well before his thoughts got too descriptive and he wouldn’t be able to go in public. So instead he went to see how Linde and Migé were doing. His friends were playing chess on the bed when he walked in and sat on one of the free beds. “Hi Ville, we haven’t seen you around much.” Mige greeted him and moved his white Bishop.
Linde nodded and asked. “What’s going on? There’s still about a half an hour until the bonfire, isn’t there? Why aren’t you spending time with Bam?” then he moved his Rook and ate Mige’s Bishop. The bassists had never been the best of players and Linde was excellent, Ville thought that it was a sign of true love that Mige voluntarily got his ass kicked in this game, just to make Linde happy.
Ville sighed again and explained the situation. His friends tried to keep a straight face but couldn’t when they looked at each other and almost fell down laughing so hard. Ville felt he was being very patient when he didn’t kick their asses when they were laughing at something that was, after all, serious. To him at least, he thought that in other situations he’d have found this funny as well.
“Come on guys you had your laugh already, now help me! What should I do?” he finally asked.
Linde and Mige looked at each other and then Mige asked. “Are you sure this is worth it? I mean we are here for only two more months. I bet it would take you a month at least to get that virgin into your bed and then what? You are bound to break his heart when we leave. You said that he was straight before this, what about when you are gone, have you thought about how hard it is to be gay here? And he is a professional skater. Rumors about his sexuality could ruin everything for him.”
Ville bit his lip. He hadn’t thought about any of that, he’d just been so besotted with Bam and he'd been trying to block the part about going home from his mind completely. He looked at Linde hoping that the blond would take his side on this but Lind looked a bit sad and just said. “I mean, if you really care about Bam, I don’t think you should do this to him, I can’t see how this could end happily. And I have never seen you be heartless, so I hope you make the right decision about this.”
Ville frowned, “I don’t want to hurt Bam in any way, I really like him. I haven’t liked anyone this much in a long time, and it scares me because we have known each other for such a short while. I just don’t know. I need to think about this, okay?”
His friends agreed and went back to their game and Ville just sat there staring at nothing, trying to put his thoughts in order. How did he really feel about Bam?
_____________________
Bam couldn’t take his eyes off Ville during the evening activities. He couldn’t give a rats ass about who won the stupid games that they played, he didn’t care about the lame camp fire songs they had to sing, he didn’t care about roasting marshmallows, not that he would have eaten any anyway, those things were made of pure sugar and little less. No he just sat there staring at Ville who looked to be lost in thought and who had to be directly spoken to or he’d just sit there staring into the fire.
Bam was worried that Ville was angry at him for bolting away like he had done just a few hours ago. He stared at Ville and hoped that the older boy would look at him, even for a moment so that he would know that they were okay, that he hadn’t messed this up somehow. But Ville didn’t look up and Bam just had to sit there looking over the campfire and the chattering kids who were still full of energy even after all their classes that day.
It seemed to Bam that the evening lasted forever. He just wanted to be alone with Ville although it made him nervous as hell, but he wasn’t some chick, he just needed to get over these nervous feelings and just go for it -after all Dunn was right, it would be embarrassing to still be a virgin when he turned eighteen. His stomach flopped at the thought of actual sex. For one thing he wasn’t absolutely sure how that would work. He could imagine the general plan of action but still, just thinking about it made him blush. He hadn’t even seen Ville naked and he was having trouble imagining what it would be like, touching that pale skin. On second thought, it wasn’t hard at all, it was all too easy and Bam had to avert his eyes from Ville and concentrate on the bustle around him for a while just calm himself down.
Finally the group leaders ushered their kids away from the fire and towards the toilets and then back to their barracks. Bam saw Ville talk to his Finnish friends and ruffle one of their kids hair before the tall boy started towards the counselors barrack. Bam brushed past a couple of small kids and tried to catch up with Ville, once again he cursed the fact that he was short, Ville’s longer legs carried him away too fast so that Bam only caught up with him in their room.
Bam closed the door behind himself and walked to Ville who was sitting on the window sill just lighting a smoke. Bam brushed Ville’s legs down from the sill to make room for himself and sat down as well. “Hi.” he said feeling unsure about how Ville was feeling.
Those lovely green eyes turned to look at him and Ville blew smoke out of his mouth in a slow stream through his pursed lips before answering. “Hi Bam.”
It seemed to Bam that Ville was a bit nervous as well and that made him feel better. He didn’t have to feel awkward with Ville, the other boy would understand, he trusted Ville, not to make fun of him of embarrass him on purpose. So he licked his lips and changed his position so that he was sitting on his knees and leaned towards Ville and kissed him lightly on the lips.
Ville gasped and then started to cough because he almost choked on the smoke he had been just inhaling before Bam made his move. Bam bit his lip and thought that this wasn’t the reaction he had been hoping for as he watched Ville try calm his breathing. When he finally managed that Bam said. “Ville, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. Are you okay? Do you need your inhaler?” he asked worriedly and hovered above the sitting boy because Ville’s face was red and his breath seemed to be wheezing a bit.
Ville nodded and cleared his throat before saying. “I’m fine, it wasn’t your fault, you just caught me off guard I guess.” and Ville put the smoke out before throwing it out of the window into the darkness.
“So, um can I do it again?” Bam asked, smiling a bit.
His smile died away quickly when Ville didn’t smile back at him and instead shook his head. “I don’t think it’s a good idea Bam.”
Before Ville could continue Bam interrupted him. “Don’t say that Ville, please don’t! I’m sorry about earlier, I shouldn’t have bolted and freaked out again, I was acting like an idiot.” He knew he was begging but didn’t care. The thought of Ville just cutting him off from something as great as this thing they almost had felt unbearable. Bam’s heart sounded really loud to his own ears and he wondered if Ville could hear it too.
Ville wasn’t looking at him, instead staring out the window and it scared Bam but he couldn’t come up with anything else to say, he was frozen in place just waiting to hear if he had blown his chance to be with Ville.
Ville was still not looking at him when he answered. “Just think about this Bam, it’s crazy really. We just met, how long have we known each other, three weeks? And how long do we have, two months? I shouldn’t have flirted with you, I should have just treated you like a friend.”
Ville fell silent and Bam swallowed before he could ask. “What are you saying Ville?” his voice sounding strange even to his own ears.
“I’m saying that you don’t have to apologize about anything Bam. This is all new to you and it’s bound to take time to adjust to. I was being selfish, wanting to kiss you and touch you when you aren’t ready.”
Now Ville looked at Bam and continued earnestly. “And maybe that’s a good thing, I mean this was all me, pressuring you, making you feel things you don’t normally do. Maybe when we are gone you’ll just forget about this and go on with your life like you used to.”
Bam just stared at Ville, blinking at the brunette for a moment trying to wrap his head around the things Ville had said. His knees were hurting from kneeling on the windowsill so he got up and started pacing the floor to get the blood circulating again.
___________
Ville watched Bam pace and waiting to hear what Bam had to say. He hoped that this wouldn’t ruin their friendship, but he was prepared to pay that price if that was what it took to save them from heartache. Finally Bam stopped pacing and turned to stare at him. Bam looked mad and Ville bit his bottom lip. This didn’t look promising.
“You are so full of shit Ville! So maybe you were rushing me a bit but I don’t care! I’m used to jumping into things and not looking back. I’ve been a lot more careful and chicken shit about this than about anything else. And don’t interrupt me!” Bam shouted the last sentence when Ville opened his mouth to protest against what Bam said about himself.
“And don’t tell me how I “normally” feel and how everything would go back to way things used to if you stopped kissing and touching me. Things wouldn’t. I’ve always been like this, why do you think I’m still a virgin for fucks sake! Or did you think nobody would want me because I’m so fat? I’m not fat anymore and I’ll have you know that I’ve had girls throw themselves at me, I could have had sex if I’d wanted to.”
“I know…” Ville managed to put in before Bam’s glare shut him up again. Ville was scared for Bam, he’d never seen the normally so upbeat boy this agitated and angry. He wanted to go to Bam and hold him and tell him things would be all right, but that would just undo everything he was trying to accomplice.
Bam continued, “I just never wanted to, never wanted any of them. Maybe I didn’t know why not at the time but maybe I do now. I thought that having a girlfriend was too much of an effort and that I needed to pay attention to my skating but we both know it was just an excuse. So mister I-Turned-A-Straight-Boy-Gay Valo let me tell you: you didn’t! You didn’t do anything else than be nice to me and flirt with me a bit, don’t you dare take the credit for this, for my choices! For what I am!”
Bam was panting and still staring at Ville furiously and Ville just sat there looking back at the other boy trying to think of something to say. Finally he sighed and said. “I’m sorry Bam. I guess I was just looking for the cowards way out of this, I hope you can forgive me and we could still be friends because Bam, I’m honest here when I say I’ve never met anyone like you and I wouldn’t want to loose your friendship.”
Bam stopped in his tracks, his face falling from anger to something akin to fear so fast it amazed Ville; how he loved that expressive face!
“What do you mean the cowards way out?” Bam asked and he wasn’t shouting anymore.
Ville couldn’t look into those deep blue eyes right then so he explained himself to Bam’s right shoulder. “When you bolted out tonight I went to see Linde and Migé and asked their advice. They both thought that this thing between us was a bad idea because we are leaving so soon and it would only end badly. They said I shouldn’t be cruel.”
Again Bam interrupted him the angry tone back in his voice. “They were worried about me? For what? That you’d break my heart? Well guess what Ville, I get to decide on something like that, after all it’s my heart and if I want to risk it I should be allowed to and not treated like a kid!”
Ville bit his lip again and waited until Bam went quiet before saying. “I know Bam, they were worried about your heart breaking and they shouldn’t because it’s none of their business. But they got me thinking, I hadn’t really understood how fast time is going by, how soon I’ll be going back home and I started to worry about my own heart.”
“What?” Bam asked sounding surprised and Ville stared at Bam’s shoulder hoping that it would understand.
“I care about you too much already Bam. It would be so easy to fall in love with you, so easy you don’t even know. Like I said I’ve never met anyone like you before, I admire your courage so much and I’d love to spend years getting to know you better. But we don’t have years. And I don’t just bounce back from heartbreak, I’m not like that. I get depressed, I’m miserable and with us it would be inevitable. Do you understand Bam?”
Bam’s shoulder moved in a shrug before the boy answered. “Yeah, I understand that you are a coward and selfish bastard, all you care about is your heart. And that’s fine, you should get to decide what happens to it just like I should decide what happens to mine. And I don’t think we can be friends anymore Ville.”
Ville lifted his eyes into Bam’s when he heard that last sentence and the feeling inside his chest felt dangerously close to the feeling of getting ones heart broken. Bam’s clear blue eyes looked cold before he turned his back on Ville and walked out.
Ville sat there trying to listen whether he could still hear his heartbeat even when he knew he was acting melodramatically. He leaned his face against the cold window and watched his breath mist the glass. He looked beyond the glass to darkness wondering if it had been already too late to save his heart, if Bam hadn’t just walked out the door with it.
__________________
So I'm back. ^_^
Did you think you'd get rid of me this easily? Even when it has been 5 months since the last chapter... *palms head*
Anyway, if you made it this far please leave a comment because they make me one happy puppy.
Also constructive criticism is welcome, just don't be mean.
Chapter: 8
Author: Oanja
Pairing: Vam
Rating: PG (bad language)
Disclaimer: Not true, don't sue.
Summary: An international youth camp in California for kids to learn new things about themselves. This summer it might be a bit more educational to the camp counsellors than the kids.
A.N: Thanks to sweet_666_777 for betaing.
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7
__________________________
Chapter 8
At dinner he sat with Ville and some kids who he assumed were from Ville’s class; they were all girls and they all seemed to have a lot to ask about music, they were practically making up questions just trying to get Ville to pay some attention to them. It was causing some fierce competition going on between the girls and Bam would have laughed his ass off if he hadn’t been tempted to make up some questions as well as Ville didn’t seem have any time to spare to him, it was really annoying.
But he couldn’t really blame Ville because the other boy kept giving him apologetic looks and rolling his eyes at the girls when he saw that they weren’t looking. This made it easier to bear through dinner, then they escaped the girls, although it was a close cut deal and the only thing that saved them was the girls group leaders who came to tell the girls that they had the laundry opportunity that evening.
When they got to the room Bam flopped on his bed and laughed. “Oh man, you sure are popular. Do you think they have an actual fan club for you already?”
Ville laughed as well and came to sit on the foot of Bam’s bed, leaning his head against the wall. “I hope not. That would be so creepy. So um… I forgot to tell you something when I got back from the showers.”
This sounded a bit alarming so Bam sat up and asked. “What is it?” trying to act cool but feeling anxious all of a sudden.
Ville placed a calming hand on Bam’s knee. “It’s nothing bad. Just that Ryan told me that he’s spending the night with Trish and that he isn’t coming here tonight.”
It took Bam a minute to process why Ville had needed to tell him this but then it hit home that they would be alone in the room. Just the two of them. Alone, for the whole night. Bam swallowed and Ville’s hand seemed to be burning through the fabric making him feel all jittery. He wanted to push Ville’s hand away but at the same time he wanted Ville to move his hand higher. This thought made him blush and Bam jumped up from the bed and stammered. “So, uh, I think we should get going. Don’t want to be late for the evening activities.” and he bolted out of the room before Ville had a chance to say anything.
_____________________
Ville stared after Bam and then sighed. Bam had obviously freaked out. And he hadn’t even had the chance to suggest that they would just maybe kiss tonight, that he wasn’t expecting Bam to jump into bed with him. …although the thought sounded very appealing to Ville, he couldn’t deny that. He had seen Bam with just swimming trunks on and he found the skater almost impossible to resist.
Ville got to his feet and walked out of their room as well before his thoughts got too descriptive and he wouldn’t be able to go in public. So instead he went to see how Linde and Migé were doing. His friends were playing chess on the bed when he walked in and sat on one of the free beds. “Hi Ville, we haven’t seen you around much.” Mige greeted him and moved his white Bishop.
Linde nodded and asked. “What’s going on? There’s still about a half an hour until the bonfire, isn’t there? Why aren’t you spending time with Bam?” then he moved his Rook and ate Mige’s Bishop. The bassists had never been the best of players and Linde was excellent, Ville thought that it was a sign of true love that Mige voluntarily got his ass kicked in this game, just to make Linde happy.
Ville sighed again and explained the situation. His friends tried to keep a straight face but couldn’t when they looked at each other and almost fell down laughing so hard. Ville felt he was being very patient when he didn’t kick their asses when they were laughing at something that was, after all, serious. To him at least, he thought that in other situations he’d have found this funny as well.
“Come on guys you had your laugh already, now help me! What should I do?” he finally asked.
Linde and Mige looked at each other and then Mige asked. “Are you sure this is worth it? I mean we are here for only two more months. I bet it would take you a month at least to get that virgin into your bed and then what? You are bound to break his heart when we leave. You said that he was straight before this, what about when you are gone, have you thought about how hard it is to be gay here? And he is a professional skater. Rumors about his sexuality could ruin everything for him.”
Ville bit his lip. He hadn’t thought about any of that, he’d just been so besotted with Bam and he'd been trying to block the part about going home from his mind completely. He looked at Linde hoping that the blond would take his side on this but Lind looked a bit sad and just said. “I mean, if you really care about Bam, I don’t think you should do this to him, I can’t see how this could end happily. And I have never seen you be heartless, so I hope you make the right decision about this.”
Ville frowned, “I don’t want to hurt Bam in any way, I really like him. I haven’t liked anyone this much in a long time, and it scares me because we have known each other for such a short while. I just don’t know. I need to think about this, okay?”
His friends agreed and went back to their game and Ville just sat there staring at nothing, trying to put his thoughts in order. How did he really feel about Bam?
_____________________
Bam couldn’t take his eyes off Ville during the evening activities. He couldn’t give a rats ass about who won the stupid games that they played, he didn’t care about the lame camp fire songs they had to sing, he didn’t care about roasting marshmallows, not that he would have eaten any anyway, those things were made of pure sugar and little less. No he just sat there staring at Ville who looked to be lost in thought and who had to be directly spoken to or he’d just sit there staring into the fire.
Bam was worried that Ville was angry at him for bolting away like he had done just a few hours ago. He stared at Ville and hoped that the older boy would look at him, even for a moment so that he would know that they were okay, that he hadn’t messed this up somehow. But Ville didn’t look up and Bam just had to sit there looking over the campfire and the chattering kids who were still full of energy even after all their classes that day.
It seemed to Bam that the evening lasted forever. He just wanted to be alone with Ville although it made him nervous as hell, but he wasn’t some chick, he just needed to get over these nervous feelings and just go for it -after all Dunn was right, it would be embarrassing to still be a virgin when he turned eighteen. His stomach flopped at the thought of actual sex. For one thing he wasn’t absolutely sure how that would work. He could imagine the general plan of action but still, just thinking about it made him blush. He hadn’t even seen Ville naked and he was having trouble imagining what it would be like, touching that pale skin. On second thought, it wasn’t hard at all, it was all too easy and Bam had to avert his eyes from Ville and concentrate on the bustle around him for a while just calm himself down.
Finally the group leaders ushered their kids away from the fire and towards the toilets and then back to their barracks. Bam saw Ville talk to his Finnish friends and ruffle one of their kids hair before the tall boy started towards the counselors barrack. Bam brushed past a couple of small kids and tried to catch up with Ville, once again he cursed the fact that he was short, Ville’s longer legs carried him away too fast so that Bam only caught up with him in their room.
Bam closed the door behind himself and walked to Ville who was sitting on the window sill just lighting a smoke. Bam brushed Ville’s legs down from the sill to make room for himself and sat down as well. “Hi.” he said feeling unsure about how Ville was feeling.
Those lovely green eyes turned to look at him and Ville blew smoke out of his mouth in a slow stream through his pursed lips before answering. “Hi Bam.”
It seemed to Bam that Ville was a bit nervous as well and that made him feel better. He didn’t have to feel awkward with Ville, the other boy would understand, he trusted Ville, not to make fun of him of embarrass him on purpose. So he licked his lips and changed his position so that he was sitting on his knees and leaned towards Ville and kissed him lightly on the lips.
Ville gasped and then started to cough because he almost choked on the smoke he had been just inhaling before Bam made his move. Bam bit his lip and thought that this wasn’t the reaction he had been hoping for as he watched Ville try calm his breathing. When he finally managed that Bam said. “Ville, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. Are you okay? Do you need your inhaler?” he asked worriedly and hovered above the sitting boy because Ville’s face was red and his breath seemed to be wheezing a bit.
Ville nodded and cleared his throat before saying. “I’m fine, it wasn’t your fault, you just caught me off guard I guess.” and Ville put the smoke out before throwing it out of the window into the darkness.
“So, um can I do it again?” Bam asked, smiling a bit.
His smile died away quickly when Ville didn’t smile back at him and instead shook his head. “I don’t think it’s a good idea Bam.”
Before Ville could continue Bam interrupted him. “Don’t say that Ville, please don’t! I’m sorry about earlier, I shouldn’t have bolted and freaked out again, I was acting like an idiot.” He knew he was begging but didn’t care. The thought of Ville just cutting him off from something as great as this thing they almost had felt unbearable. Bam’s heart sounded really loud to his own ears and he wondered if Ville could hear it too.
Ville wasn’t looking at him, instead staring out the window and it scared Bam but he couldn’t come up with anything else to say, he was frozen in place just waiting to hear if he had blown his chance to be with Ville.
Ville was still not looking at him when he answered. “Just think about this Bam, it’s crazy really. We just met, how long have we known each other, three weeks? And how long do we have, two months? I shouldn’t have flirted with you, I should have just treated you like a friend.”
Ville fell silent and Bam swallowed before he could ask. “What are you saying Ville?” his voice sounding strange even to his own ears.
“I’m saying that you don’t have to apologize about anything Bam. This is all new to you and it’s bound to take time to adjust to. I was being selfish, wanting to kiss you and touch you when you aren’t ready.”
Now Ville looked at Bam and continued earnestly. “And maybe that’s a good thing, I mean this was all me, pressuring you, making you feel things you don’t normally do. Maybe when we are gone you’ll just forget about this and go on with your life like you used to.”
Bam just stared at Ville, blinking at the brunette for a moment trying to wrap his head around the things Ville had said. His knees were hurting from kneeling on the windowsill so he got up and started pacing the floor to get the blood circulating again.
___________
Ville watched Bam pace and waiting to hear what Bam had to say. He hoped that this wouldn’t ruin their friendship, but he was prepared to pay that price if that was what it took to save them from heartache. Finally Bam stopped pacing and turned to stare at him. Bam looked mad and Ville bit his bottom lip. This didn’t look promising.
“You are so full of shit Ville! So maybe you were rushing me a bit but I don’t care! I’m used to jumping into things and not looking back. I’ve been a lot more careful and chicken shit about this than about anything else. And don’t interrupt me!” Bam shouted the last sentence when Ville opened his mouth to protest against what Bam said about himself.
“And don’t tell me how I “normally” feel and how everything would go back to way things used to if you stopped kissing and touching me. Things wouldn’t. I’ve always been like this, why do you think I’m still a virgin for fucks sake! Or did you think nobody would want me because I’m so fat? I’m not fat anymore and I’ll have you know that I’ve had girls throw themselves at me, I could have had sex if I’d wanted to.”
“I know…” Ville managed to put in before Bam’s glare shut him up again. Ville was scared for Bam, he’d never seen the normally so upbeat boy this agitated and angry. He wanted to go to Bam and hold him and tell him things would be all right, but that would just undo everything he was trying to accomplice.
Bam continued, “I just never wanted to, never wanted any of them. Maybe I didn’t know why not at the time but maybe I do now. I thought that having a girlfriend was too much of an effort and that I needed to pay attention to my skating but we both know it was just an excuse. So mister I-Turned-A-Straight-Boy-Gay Valo let me tell you: you didn’t! You didn’t do anything else than be nice to me and flirt with me a bit, don’t you dare take the credit for this, for my choices! For what I am!”
Bam was panting and still staring at Ville furiously and Ville just sat there looking back at the other boy trying to think of something to say. Finally he sighed and said. “I’m sorry Bam. I guess I was just looking for the cowards way out of this, I hope you can forgive me and we could still be friends because Bam, I’m honest here when I say I’ve never met anyone like you and I wouldn’t want to loose your friendship.”
Bam stopped in his tracks, his face falling from anger to something akin to fear so fast it amazed Ville; how he loved that expressive face!
“What do you mean the cowards way out?” Bam asked and he wasn’t shouting anymore.
Ville couldn’t look into those deep blue eyes right then so he explained himself to Bam’s right shoulder. “When you bolted out tonight I went to see Linde and Migé and asked their advice. They both thought that this thing between us was a bad idea because we are leaving so soon and it would only end badly. They said I shouldn’t be cruel.”
Again Bam interrupted him the angry tone back in his voice. “They were worried about me? For what? That you’d break my heart? Well guess what Ville, I get to decide on something like that, after all it’s my heart and if I want to risk it I should be allowed to and not treated like a kid!”
Ville bit his lip again and waited until Bam went quiet before saying. “I know Bam, they were worried about your heart breaking and they shouldn’t because it’s none of their business. But they got me thinking, I hadn’t really understood how fast time is going by, how soon I’ll be going back home and I started to worry about my own heart.”
“What?” Bam asked sounding surprised and Ville stared at Bam’s shoulder hoping that it would understand.
“I care about you too much already Bam. It would be so easy to fall in love with you, so easy you don’t even know. Like I said I’ve never met anyone like you before, I admire your courage so much and I’d love to spend years getting to know you better. But we don’t have years. And I don’t just bounce back from heartbreak, I’m not like that. I get depressed, I’m miserable and with us it would be inevitable. Do you understand Bam?”
Bam’s shoulder moved in a shrug before the boy answered. “Yeah, I understand that you are a coward and selfish bastard, all you care about is your heart. And that’s fine, you should get to decide what happens to it just like I should decide what happens to mine. And I don’t think we can be friends anymore Ville.”
Ville lifted his eyes into Bam’s when he heard that last sentence and the feeling inside his chest felt dangerously close to the feeling of getting ones heart broken. Bam’s clear blue eyes looked cold before he turned his back on Ville and walked out.
Ville sat there trying to listen whether he could still hear his heartbeat even when he knew he was acting melodramatically. He leaned his face against the cold window and watched his breath mist the glass. He looked beyond the glass to darkness wondering if it had been already too late to save his heart, if Bam hadn’t just walked out the door with it.
__________________
So I'm back. ^_^
Did you think you'd get rid of me this easily? Even when it has been 5 months since the last chapter... *palms head*
Anyway, if you made it this far please leave a comment because they make me one happy puppy.
Also constructive criticism is welcome, just don't be mean.