TwO | action

[miraculls]

[ACTION; morning all around Mayfield]

[Sadly, Gamzee has not yet acquired his trademark face-paint, as the stores refuse to sell make-up to a boy and he's too stupid to lie about it being for his girlfriend. Kanaya had offered to buy it for him, but then she got panscrubbed and now she just giggles at him and tells him to stop joking when he

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[crusthatecean]

[Looking around. Frantically. Almost bumping into Gamzee.]

Where the fuck are my--

What the fuck are you wearing?

[crusthatecean]

[1...Just letting the pie drip down his face in favor of flipping his shit.]Aargh! What in the name of douchebag hell did I do to deserve this? You're the one who calls attention to the shit stains on God's underwear and I'm the one saddled with a fucking useless asshole like you! Or maybe I'm your punishment, who the fuck knows, it's a double mutual punishment reach around! Maybe I'm being punished for being the kind of complete asshole who's friends with a complete asshole like all of my friends are

[miraculls]

[slowly swipes a finger in this pie on karkat's face

licks

it

off]

Sure thing, bro, but I dunno if they done ever saw the movie. Ain't no clowns in it or shit.

1/2

[crusthatecean]

You fucking idiot, I'm insulting you and generally acting like a giant douchebag, you could at least try to act like it!

What's wrong, are you too fucking stupid to yell at? Are you even capable of getting angry, or is your thinkpan too--

[crusthatecean]

[It sometimes takes a minute when Karkat's yelling for his words to catch up to him, but as soon as they do, his shoulders slump and he stops looking quite so angry. He just looks like a pathetic asshole with pie on his face.]

Oh...oh, fuck. Shit.

[miraculls]

Uh...you okay, bro? [squints at his modus, then reaches for 50 First Dates and pulls it out] Didn't mean to get you all upset and shit, soooooory. And I ain't real good at that roleplaying shit, but I can up all and try to front the nasty shit if you want, I got a ton of practice with Equius.

[crusthatecean]

[...Takes his movie]

It's fine. I'm just an asshole who doesn't ever think about anything and instead just freaks out about stupid shit.

I really, really don't want to see that, okay?

[miraculls]

It be all good, best friend, I don't got nothing going on in my thinkpan either sometimes.

Haha, sure, but I ain't sure I'm that motherfuckin' bad at it. But I don't really like pretending to get all my rage on, it feels so motherfuckin' unnatural, you know?

[crusthatecean]

I wouldn't know.

It's probably nice to be the kind of douchebag who isn't combusting from constant chronic rage attacks. And you should probably stay that way. Fuck. I'm always going 'hey, Karkat, you sack of congealed shitloaf, don't be an asshole right now, remember how things are complicated and you have so many regrets about certain people so don't say anything you don't mean when you know how it really is, how about that?' But then I'm like, 'Who told you you could tell me what to do, fuckass? I'll make an embarrassing spectacle of myself and then feel like shit about it afterward if I want to. Also, fuck you.'

It's probably better to not be like that guy in any way.

[miraculls]

Aww, bro, there ain't nothin' wrong with going with what your heart all up and motherfuckin' tells you to be. If that be the way the mirthful messiahs made you, then shit, you gotta own that motherfuckin' gift they done sent down. Ain't no point all up and wishing you be a different motherfucker.

[yes karkat take advice from the crossdressing clown...]

[crusthatecean]

Yeah, holy shit, I see the light now, I'm a miraculous creation, okay, what the fuck ever.

I'm trying to say something else. Like, I don't know, if someone's heart started giving them conflicting messages like insane murderous urges, they should probably not assume that's a gift from the mirthful messiahs and instead just ignore that. That is sane rational advice that can in no way change anything that will happen in the future so why would I bother, right?

...I guess what I'm trying to say is, ignore me when I'm being an asshole like you always do.

[miraculls]

Naaaaw, bro, the mirthful messiahs wouldn't all up and front motherfuckin' nasty shit like that. And we be chill, best friend, I know you ain't really meaning all the wicked jokes spouting out your talkflap.

[crusthatecean]

Okay.

Well...it is well past time for me to be in the warm cinematic embrace of Drew Barrymore's masterful performance, so...I guess I'll just leave you to your Seizure Inducing Lights to Entertain Wigglers modus.