so its been awhile since ive been on this.
well hmm i need a new job that pays more..
but good luck for finding one..

im so fuckin depressed.. i cant take it anymore.. im trying to stay away from drinking this time and doing whatever else but i cant do it.. i need it. i need that numb feeling.. not have to sit there and think about the most painful shit. i gave up on my life. im done.

i seriously fucking hate guys... i hate how they try and get you back and shit doesnt happen how they want it to and they can sit there and say the meanest shit to you that i think hurts more than anything.. or when there friends see you hanging out with someone and think that its your new boyfriend.. so they start calling and say more mean shit.. ( Read more... )

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i hate how i can never fuckin sleep..

fuck.

so..
i had a interview today..
it went good. i hope ill get the job..
its at the sky diving place in elsinore..
ill be able to go sky diving like every week.
its going to be bad ass.
haha the guy there told me once i start the first thing im doing is going sky diving.
i cant wait.
well wish me luck..

i cure all my problems with the bottle..
but when it wares off. i come to realize that ill never get rid of them or stop thinking about them so i get all depressed.
so then i just hit the bottle again.
it will never end.

so i think i know came to the point that everyone i have cared for a lot in my life are nothing but liars. and its obvious that they dont care about our friendship or anything we've had. but whatever.. i really dont want to bother with this shit anymore. im done with people walking all over me.

yeah so last night i was at the hospital all night.
my mom has gallstones.
she had surgery this morning.
they also told her that she had a spot on her liver.
witch shes all freaked out cause my grandpa died because of his liver.

yeah so i dont get text messages anymore.. or internet on my phone..
my dad turned it off cause i cant pay my bill.. cause i have no job.. so my phone kinda sucks right now. its worthless. but when i get a job.. ill get it back.