There once was a werewolf named Moony...
There once was a werewolf named Moony
Who with Sirius Black would get spoony
When his birthday arrived
The fangirls all cried
So Sirius stepped up and said "Do me!"
At the behest of gryffindor_j, that perv who demanded birthday porn in honour of Remus' 50th Birthday, we proudly present:
Fly the Friendly Skies by gryffindor_j; Rated NC-17
Summary: Sirius does his very best to give Remus what he wants for his 50th birthday.
(Not) Just Another Day by midnitemaraud_r; Rated Hard R
Summary: For his 18th birthday, Remus just wants a nice cake, however Sirius is bound and determined to find the perfect present.
(Even better than) the real thing by red_squared; Rated PG
Summary: Vanilla' doesn't mean what Remus thinks it means.
and my pervy contribution...
Title: Let Him Eat Cake
Author: mindabbles
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Early morning birthday rimming
Word Count: 4,700
Summary: Most mornings he has to pull himself away from the arm slung across his waist, slide his hand over Remus' arse without lingering, and stumble directly into the shower so that he can be awake and functioning before Harry thunders in demanding breakfast. This is not most mornings. It's Remus' 30th birthday.
Author Notes: This occurs about four years after Objects of Sentimental Value. You don't have to read it for it to make sense, coz this is porn after all. What you do need to know is that this is an AU in which Remus and Sirius are raising Harry, Peter was caught and Sirius cleared, and Harry has made friends with a slightly older boy named Roger who is a menace.
Thanks to my fabulous betas, elizassecret and midnitemaraud_r and to my lovely and talented co-conspirators. Limerick credit goes to midnitemaraud_r and red_sqaured. ♥ to you all. Happy Birthday, Remus. :)
Most mornings, Sirius can't believe his luck. Even after restless nights filled with unsettling dreams, or on bleary-eyed mornings when Harry seems to have spent most of the night awake, Sirius opens his eyes and sighs at the sight of the tousled light brown hair on his pillow, and the feel of warm, sleepy-soft skin next to him.
Most mornings he has to pull himself away from the arm slung across his waist, slide his hand over Remus' arse without lingering, and stumble directly into the shower so that he can be awake and functioning before Harry thunders in demanding breakfast. Not that he'd give that up for all the Galleons in Gringotts, but this morning there will be no such rush. Sirius smiles, his lips pressed to Remus' arm, and points his wand at the alarm clock, silencing it before Remus stirs.
He snuggles in closer to Remus, curving his body around his hip and trailing his hand lightly from Remus' shoulder blades, down his spine, over the curve of his arse, and back again. Remus huffs, snores softly, and seems to burrow deeper into the mattress.
Remus' skin is warm and so soft under his lips. Sirius follows the familiar slope of his shoulders, flutters little kisses across the expanse of his back, and licks his way down the knobbly hills and valleys of Remus' spine. He freezes, mouth hovering just in the small of Remus' back, when Remus squirms delightfully, pressing his hips into the mattress in his sleep. Remus stills and his breath settles back into the deep, even quiet of slumber. Sirius breathes in, his face pressed to Remus' skin, and traces circles with his tongue down the dip at the base of Remus' spine. He rubs his cheek over the softer skin of Remus' arse, humming contentedly as his cock swells. Remus sighs and flexes his toes, huffing in the sweet way that lets Sirius know he's awake.
"Some people let a bloke sleep in on his birthday," Remus grumbles, but without any edge of irritation.
"We can sleep later," Sirius whispers, placing open mouthed kisses where Remus' arse meets the top of his thigh.
"Harry won't let us sleep. He probably wants to burn me some toast or some such," Remus says, trying to sound irritated, but Sirius can hear the smile in his voice as Remus rolls his hips lightly against the bed.
"We have thirty-four minutes until Harry wakes up," Sirius says. He pulls back the blankets to see Remus' beautiful, long body, stretched out and relaxed, waiting. "And we're getting older by the second."
"You're not the one who's already 30," Remus says, his voice still even. Sirius' breath catches, waiting for the moment when the desire creeps into Remus' tone.
"But I will be, and then I'll be 40, and before you know it, I'll be as old as Dumbledore," Sirius says to keep Remus talking. He runs his hands up Remus' thighs, presses in with his thumbs, massaging the firm muscle over Remus' arse.
"Dumbledore will always be older than you, Padfoot." Remus is holding himself completely still, not giving in, not letting Sirius see him come undone quite yet.
"You're killing the mood, you know," Sirius says. He presses in with his thumbs again, and blows a gentle puff of breath over Remus' cleft.
Remus gasps so softly that Sirius would never have heard it if he hadn't known to listen for it.
"I'm killing the mood? You're the one-"
"Just shut up," Sirius murmurs, his mouth moving over Remus' arse, soft nips and licks until he laves his tongue the length of Remus' arse.
Remus' hands clench in the pillow and he bends his knees slightly, lifting off the bed and opening himself to Sirius. Sirius flicks his tongue over Remus' entrance and Remus arches up higher, his feet coming to rub against Sirius' thighs.
"Want me to lick you?"
"Mmm, yes," Remus groans, rocking his hips back down, and Sirius knows he's sliding his hard cock against the smooth sheets.
Sex with Remus is an absolute rush. It’s heady and satisfying to do this for someone so appreciative-mm'ing and aah'ing at every turn. It may be that Remus is incredibly sensitive, but Sirius prefers to believe that he is incredibly talented and he will make Remus come from just this, just his tongue fluttering against his hole, circling and dipping inside.
Remus spreads his legs further and groans. Sirius grips his hips and presses in, mouth open over Remus' entrance, suffusing the kiss with his own growing desire. Remus moans, naked desperation as he writhes on the bed while Sirius slowly fucks him with his tongue. Sirius braces himself against the bed on one elbow and reaches his other hand to squeeze Remus' balls, and Remus babbles his name. He pulls his tongue out and licks over Remus' entrance, long, firm swipes that he knows tingle on Remus' every nerve ending.
"Oh fuck, Sirius, oh fuck, yes," Remus stammers, all breathless gasps into the pillows. He slams his hips down on the bed and rocks back and forth between the sheets and Sirius' mouth. Sirius holds on tight and kisses deeply, holding Remus, helping him ride it out through his orgasm. When Remus stills, Sirius moves up Remus' long body, kissing and touching every inch of skin until he can press against him.
Remus groans, a long, deep sound that resonates in Sirius' chest. Sirius rolls his hips, pressing his hard cock against Remus' thigh. He's been hard since he first touched Remus, the warm slide of skin under the blankets. It doesn't take much. Remus turns his head, sleepy and sated, to kiss him and slips his hand between their bodies. He curls his fingers around Sirius' cock and strokes him with a firm, practiced touch until Sirius shudders and moans into the kiss.
He wriggles closer until he's nearly on top of Remus, and melts into him, eyes drifting shut.
"As brilliant as that was, don't think you're going to get away with not fucking me on my birthday," Remus says, flopping onto his back and pulling Sirius back to sprawl over half of his body. He tucks Sirius' head under his chin and nuzzles his cheek against Sirius' hair.
"Oh, I intend to. As a matter of fact, I intend to make you come once for every year you've graced the earth with your devastating sexiness," Sirius murmurs, lips against Remus' throat.
Remus scoffs, "Idiot. You're utterly mad. That's not possible."
"Anything's possible. That's one down."
Sirius reaches out and grabs his pyjama bottom, wiping his face just as what sounds like a herd of baby hippogriffs comes stampeding down the hallway.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It took Remus years, but he has managed to fully convince Sirius of the value of lists. Today there are several to consult-the guest list, the shopping list, the list of ways to get Remus alone for anywhere from ten to twenty-five minutes.
"I've everything on the shopping list," Sirius says, running his finger down the parchment where it's unfurled on the kitchen counter. "I'll just Floo the rest of the Order and see who's coming by."
Remus rolls his eyes and stirs a teaspoon of sugar into his tea. "Don't ask Gideon. He's always looking at your arse."
"All the better to keep you on your toes."
"I think your plan for the day is enough to keep me on my toes, thanks." Remus says, smiling at Sirius in a way that, even after all these years, makes something inside his belly flutter.
"Harry wants to invite Roger."
Remus splutters tea across the table. "The menace from the play park?" Remus asks, cleaning the table with an easy wave of his wand. "I don't need a ten-year-old making off-colour sexual comments at my birthday tea."
"Right, that's my job," Sirius says. "But have you seen the parents? The dad's pretty fit." He moves the guest list aside and adds 'shower while he's shaving' and 'send Harry to Arabella's for reading' to his last list.
"So's the mum," Remus parries. "Why, what are you thinking?"
"Hmpf, I'm thinking I'll make certain to have Gideon over if that's what you're after," Sirius grumbles.
"If that's what I was after, I don't think Gideon has it."
"This conversation is taking a turn," Sirius mutters with the feeling that things are spiralling out of his control. He scratches 'Roger and family' off the guest list.
"Padfoot," Remus says as he stands and moves into the circle of Sirius' arms. Sirius sighs with relief. "I'd much prefer it just be us, just our family."
He kisses Remus' temple and then his cheek, inhaling the scent of his hair. All through school and the couple of years after, the four of them and then Lily, had made each of their birthdays into a national holiday. It still feels off, never enough, and Sirius can't quite find the words to thank Remus for letting him off the hook.
"I got dressed without any help and you didn't even have to ask me," Harry says, bursting into the kitchen wearing red track pants and a purple t-shirt with a comic of Martin Miggs the Mad Muggle stepping off the second storey of a bus. Harry's right hand is rather obviously behind his back.
"So I see," Remus says, blinking. "Is that my birthday present? No nagging at you?"
"No," Harry says with a delighted grin. "This is!" He pulls a book from behind his back, bound with bits of red and gold ribbon, and thrusts it proudly at Remus. This, Sirius knows, is Harry's own version of his favourite comic and he's been working on it for weeks. Remus pulls away from Sirius' loose embrace to give his present its due. He blinks again and his eyes look damp. Big softy, he is.
"Harry," Remus says, looking slightly stunned. "This is incredible."
"Do you like it?" Harry asks, shifting from one white-toed trainer to the other.
"I love it," Remus says. "Thank you, Harry. I think this is the best birthday present I have ever received." Harry beams like the sun and Sirius feels a rush of affection for the two of them, so strong it almost makes him dizzy.
"What did Padfoot get you?" Harry asks, leaning on Remus so he can watch as Remus flips through the book, showing Martin running from page to page.
"He's apparently throwing me a party and I believe there's to be cake," Remus says.
"There'll be prizes in the cake, won't there? On Padfoot's birthday, I got a Snitch and a stuffed owl. I hope there's a broom this time. Padfoot, did you get a cake with good prizes this time? On account of Roger wants to come and he won't like it if there's not good prizes."
"Breakfast?" Sirius asks, hoping that some toast in his mouth might slow Harry down.
"Thanks. Sausages?" Harry says, flinging himself into a chair at the kitchen table. "Roger's mum said she wouldn't mind spending an evening with you two sometime. She said it to his dad and I don't think she knows I heard, but I think we should invite them to tea."
Remus upsets his tea and another chip flies from his favourite, ancient tea cup. "When did she say that?"
"At the play park yesterday, when I said they should come for Moony's tea."
"We'll see about inviting Roger and his family," Sirius says quickly over Remus' small sound of alarm. "There're already quite a few people on the guest list and I don't know if we've enough cake."
Remus gives him that look that says you'd better figure a way out of this if you hope to ever have sex again.
"I have to piss. Sausages, please?" Harry exclaims. He bounds out of the kitchen and stomps down the hallway to the loo.
"Ever wonder what it looks like inside his brain?" Sirius asks, shaking his head fondly as the dulcet sounds of Harry's latest improvisational composition rise above the running water.
"At least we know he's washing his hands. Don't you forget now, you are going to fuck me on my birthday and then there's the little matter of your own lofty goals," Remus whispers as he leans over Sirius at the sink. "If Roger's hanging about setting fires or whatever he does now, his mother's going for a threesome, and Gideon's hoping to grope your arse, I am not sure how these things are going to happen."
Sirius drops six sausages into the frying pan, turning the gas up with a flick of his wand. At least that he can control.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sirius braces his hands on his knees and stands, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
"Two," he says, kissing Remus' pink-stained, over-heated cheek. "Twenty-eight to go."
He rubs his hand over his hard cock, groaning in relief at the pressure. Remus shakes his head, tendrils of hair brushing his cheeks. He looks down and covers Sirius' hand with his own.
"When's Harry due back from Arabella's?"
"About an hour," Sirius says, his heart beating at the way the corners of Remus' mouth curve in a dangerous smile.
"Should we go for three?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"This isn't much of a party. Are you terribly disappointed, Moony?" Harry asks, surveying a sprout with suspicion. "And why are we having sprouts when we can have anything we want?"
Sirius squashes a wave of defensiveness. The dining room is decorated in red and gold, streamers blowing in the enchanted breeze, balloons weaving patterns through the air. The table is spread with all of Remus' favourite foods. It's not the party he had planned, but Remus had finally convinced him it would be better with just the three of them. One awkward conversation with Roger's mum and another, somewhat arousing, one with Gideon later, here they are. "I-"
"This is exactly the party I wanted, Harry," Remus says firmly. "My favourite people and my favourite tea. Nothing could be better."
"Are you shrinking, Moony?" Harry asks, pushing his sprouts around with a bit of roast potato.
"Come again?" Remus says, and Sirius squints at him, measuring him against the back of his chair with sudden concern. He had been somewhat distracted when he was making the gravy. Remus had been behind him working on number five, after all. It occurs to him for the second time in recent weeks that keeping the spices and the potions ingredients in the same cupboard is perhaps misguided.
"I don't think-" Sirius begins.
"Roger says you shrink when you get old," Harry chirps. "He says his gran can hardly reach the top shelf where she keeps the sherry on account of she's shrunk since she put it there."
"I see." Remus clears his throat over a chuckle. "Well, I'm not quite that old and since I eat my sprouts, perhaps I won't shrink so soon as some," Remus says, and Sirius is amazed as always at his patience. Sirius would have just told him to stop listening to Roger's mental tales and eat his dinner. "And Sirius is tall, so he can help me if need be."
"Are we all going to have cake together?" Harry asks, spearing the last of his potatoes.
"Of course we are," Sirius says. "It's Moony's birthday party. There must be cake. Why wouldn't we have it together?"
"Roger's dad just had his birthday last week and his mum bought him a cake that was just for the grown ups on account of the prizes in it were unappropriate for kids. They had trifle at dinner."
Remus clears his throat again. "No one's having cake unless both of you eats at least one sprout apiece. Must eat vegetables to get cake."
"Roger says that potatoes are a vegetable."
"Roger doesn't know everything," Sirius says. "Eat your dinner, and then we'll wish Moony many happy returns and eat as much of his cake as he'll let us. I promise there are good prizes in it."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I think it's time to cut ties with Roger," Sirius says. Remus is leaning against the kitchen counter, relaxed and easy like he only looks at home, sipping Firewhisky. "He'll be showing Harry those unappropriate prizes any day now. He wouldn't settle down, by the way. I think that third bit of cake was a mistake."
"Sirius," Remus says, and Sirius notices the slow, smouldering way that Remus' eyes graze over his body. "You were in there a long time and I've been waiting."
Sirius steps close so that his bare toes touch the ends of Remus' shoes. "What're you waiting for?"
"My present," Remus says. He slides his hand around Sirius' waist and leans to kiss the line of his jaw.
"Hmm," Sirius says, tipping his head and losing himself in the feel of Remus' lips on his neck. "Don't know as I should show it to you after all." He flicks his wand and whispers, "Accio cake." A huge chocolate confection bangs out of the cupboard and zips across the counter. "Seems I had the same idea as Roger's mum, I'm mortified to say."
"Roger's mum is growing on me," Remus says, sliding his hand under Sirius' shirt to rub the skin of his lower back. "What's inside this one, then?"
"You have to eat it," Sirius said. He leans in close and brushes his lips over the tendon at the side of Remus' throat.
"Mmm," Remus hums. "Say that again."
Remus trails his finger in the rich, dark icing and sucks it into his mouth, pink lips sliding down his finger, cheeks hollowing, and Sirius feels the room dip and sway around him. "Fuck, Moony."
"That's delicious," Remus says, slipping his finger from his mouth and licking his lips. He swirls his finger through the chocolate again and raises it to Sirius' lips, pushing in slowly. Sirius curls his tongue around the finger, searching out every last drop of icing.
Remus shifts, pulling his hands from Sirius and reaching for his wand. He brandishes it at the cake and with a wordless spell, several small parcels burst through, scattering bits of cake and chocolate all over the kitchen.
"Let's see what we have here." Remus brushes cake off the first, tiny parcel. He taps it with his wand and the paper falls away. With a muttered, Engorgio, it expands into a nine-inch dildo. "You saying something about my size?"
"Who says you're to use it on me?" Sirius asks. "I could be expressing my own insecurities."
"Not possible," Remus says, tapping the second parcel. "A cock ring? Now you're making a statement about my stamina?" Remus' brow furrows in a frown, but his brown eyes twinkle. "I'm shrinking and I can't keep it up?"
Sirius brushes his hand down Remus' chest, slipping a finger between the buttons of his shirt to touch warm skin just above the waistband of his trousers. Sirius listens for the moment he loves, the moment that Remus' voice loses its even timbre and takes on the rough, breathless quality that is just for him. There it is, and Sirius drops his hand to palm the front of Remus' trousers. "Doesn't seem to be a problem at the moment."
"Mmm," Remus hums, breaking off a piece of cake and leaning to kiss Sirius with chocolate on his lips. "Four more." He taps the smallest parcel. "Mmm, nipple clamps-I have no idea what you're trying to say with those."
"That I want you," Sirius says.
"I'll want these sometime, Pads," Remus says. "But tonight, I just want you. Let's open the rest later."
"You know what I haven't done for ages?" Sirius moves behind him, kisses the shell of his ear, his neck, leans his chest to Remus' back. "Fucked you against the wall."
"This is a counter," Remus says. He arches his back, pressing his arse into Sirius.
"Fuck, Remus," Sirius says. Wrapping his arms around Remus, he rolls his hips to grind his aching cock against him, burying his face in the hair at the back of Remus' neck. "You still drive me mad."
Remus twines their fingers together and turns his head to capture Sirius' mouth. Sirius kisses back, as necessary as breathing. He wants to touch Remus everywhere, show him again and again how much he's loved, how grateful Sirius is that, after all, they still have each other. He steps back, pulls away from the warmth of Remus' body with a sigh, still holding him around the waist. He steers Remus down the corridor, touching and kissing as they go. Remus stumbles and swears as he knocks in to the wall, and they both freeze, listening for Harry.
"Bedroom, Moony," Sirius whispers. "Where we can shut the door."
It's only four more steps, but it seems like ages until Sirius can push Remus through the door and back him up, trapping him against the wall with a hand on either side of his head. Remus smiles at him, that same mischievous grin he had when he was fifteen, and Sirius bends to kiss it from his lips. He combs his fingers through Remus' shaggy hair, twining his fingers where it curls around his ears. "You sorry Roger's mum's not here?"
"I just want you, Padfoot," Remus said, drawing the back of his hand down Sirius' cheek.
Sirius presses his lips to Remus' throat, sucking on the tender skin below his jaw, and Remus sighs so prettily that Sirius presses in harder, pulling the skin between his lips. Remus pushes up Sirius’ shirt, teasing fingers over his chest, catching his nipples until Sirius gasps and rips his own shirt over his head.
"Yours," Sirius says and tugs at Remus’ jumper.
"Mine," Remus says, drawing a finger down Sirius' chest. He sheds his jumper and works his trousers and pants off, kicking them out of the way. He takes Sirius' hand and turns, wrapping himself in Sirius' arms and bracing one hand against the wall. "I thought you were going to fuck me against the wall."
Sirius slides his hands up Remus' ribs, watching for the shudder as his fingers tease the curve of his underarm. He caresses the length of Remus' arms, urging them over his head. Remus leans his head back, soft hair brushing Sirius' cheek and groans softly, hums of want that slide over Sirius' skin. Sirius cups his hand and non-verbally casts the charm that has set his heart racing with anticipation since Remus first taught it to him. His hand is cool and slick.
"I want you now," Sirius says, sliding his fingers into Remus' cleft and smoothing the slippery stuff over Remus' skin. He finds Remus' entrance with the tip of his finger and slides inside, cool replaced with warmth.
"Yes," Remus groans. He spreads his hands out on the wall and pushes back, forcing Sirius' finger deeper. "Come on," Remus urges, widening his stance and bending at the waist.
"You'd think it was my birthday," Sirius says, mouth dry at the sight in front of him. He runs one hand up and down Remus' side to steady himself as he lets his cock slide along Remus' cleft. He feels the head catch at the edge of Remus' entrance with each pass, and Remus' whimpers become more urgent.
"Fuck me," Remus moans.
Sirius pushes inside. He watches Remus' body open to take him in, watches his cock slide into Remus until he has to close his eyes and count to ten. Remus rocks back against him and Sirius grabs his hips, pulling Remus back and forth. He has to open his eyes, has to watch again, the way the muscles in Remus' back and arse flex with each thrust, the way his own cock looks when he pulls almost all the way out.
"Harder," Remus say, fingers clenching against the wall.
Sirius shifts his feet apart, bends his knees so he can thrust up into Remus with more force, and Remus rewards him with a strangled, ragged groan.
"Moony," Sirius gasps. "Moony, touch yourself." He's not going to last long with Remus moaning and writhing in front of him, arse clenching on his cock every time Sirius pulls out.
"Don't you dare come yet," Remus growls, and there is no chance that Sirius would when he says it like that. One of Remus' hands drags down the wall and disappears in front of him. Remus' arm moves in time with his hips as he fucks himself on Sirius' cock, and Sirius holds on to Remus' hips, trying to hang on. Remus tips his head back and Sirius can feel all of his muscles tense as he rocks frantically back and forth between his fist and Sirius' cock. Sirius closes his eyes and lets himself just feel. The pressure of Remus' arse on his cock seems to double and he can feel Remus coming, pulling him along with him. Intense heat surrounds his cock as he comes deep inside Remus.
He drops his head to Remus' back and wraps his arms around him. "I'm not sure I can move." He smiles and Remus laughs, breathless and soft. "I don't think I want to," Sirius adds, pulling him closer, trying to stay inside him just a little longer.
Remus stretches, rolling his shoulders, and Sirius slips from his body. Remus turns and pulls Sirius to him in an embrace.
"Come on, Padfoot," Remus says. "I'll tuck you in."
Sirius lets Remus lead him to to bed, clean him up, and settle him with his head on Remus' chest, the blankets tucked snugly about his shoulders. He has the vague sense that he is supposed to be doing this for Remus today, but it feels so blissful that he can't bring himself to care.
"Happy Birthday, Moony," he murmurs, eyes drifting shut.
"I'm not sure we managed thirty." Sirius can hear the smirk in his voice.
"It's still your birthday for a few hours," Sirius says. A plan is a plan, after all.
"I'm utterly knackered," Remus says, but something light and teasing in his voice makes Sirius blink his heavy eyes open.
"Set the alarm? Two hours?" Sirius asks, splaying his fingers out on Remus' belly and looking up into his twinkling brown eyes.
"Make it three and you're on," Remus says, throwing his arm around Sirius' waist. "And Sirius? We've still to try out my presents."
Sirius turns his back to set the alarm. He intended to set it for three hours, really he did, but there are things Remus hasn't even opened yet.
An hour and a half should be more than enough.
Who with Sirius Black would get spoony
When his birthday arrived
The fangirls all cried
So Sirius stepped up and said "Do me!"
At the behest of gryffindor_j, that perv who demanded birthday porn in honour of Remus' 50th Birthday, we proudly present:
Fly the Friendly Skies by gryffindor_j; Rated NC-17
Summary: Sirius does his very best to give Remus what he wants for his 50th birthday.
(Not) Just Another Day by midnitemaraud_r; Rated Hard R
Summary: For his 18th birthday, Remus just wants a nice cake, however Sirius is bound and determined to find the perfect present.
(Even better than) the real thing by red_squared; Rated PG
Summary: Vanilla' doesn't mean what Remus thinks it means.
and my pervy contribution...
Title: Let Him Eat Cake
Author: mindabbles
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Early morning birthday rimming
Word Count: 4,700
Summary: Most mornings he has to pull himself away from the arm slung across his waist, slide his hand over Remus' arse without lingering, and stumble directly into the shower so that he can be awake and functioning before Harry thunders in demanding breakfast. This is not most mornings. It's Remus' 30th birthday.
Author Notes: This occurs about four years after Objects of Sentimental Value. You don't have to read it for it to make sense, coz this is porn after all. What you do need to know is that this is an AU in which Remus and Sirius are raising Harry, Peter was caught and Sirius cleared, and Harry has made friends with a slightly older boy named Roger who is a menace.
Thanks to my fabulous betas, elizassecret and midnitemaraud_r and to my lovely and talented co-conspirators. Limerick credit goes to midnitemaraud_r and red_sqaured. ♥ to you all. Happy Birthday, Remus. :)
Most mornings, Sirius can't believe his luck. Even after restless nights filled with unsettling dreams, or on bleary-eyed mornings when Harry seems to have spent most of the night awake, Sirius opens his eyes and sighs at the sight of the tousled light brown hair on his pillow, and the feel of warm, sleepy-soft skin next to him.
Most mornings he has to pull himself away from the arm slung across his waist, slide his hand over Remus' arse without lingering, and stumble directly into the shower so that he can be awake and functioning before Harry thunders in demanding breakfast. Not that he'd give that up for all the Galleons in Gringotts, but this morning there will be no such rush. Sirius smiles, his lips pressed to Remus' arm, and points his wand at the alarm clock, silencing it before Remus stirs.
He snuggles in closer to Remus, curving his body around his hip and trailing his hand lightly from Remus' shoulder blades, down his spine, over the curve of his arse, and back again. Remus huffs, snores softly, and seems to burrow deeper into the mattress.
Remus' skin is warm and so soft under his lips. Sirius follows the familiar slope of his shoulders, flutters little kisses across the expanse of his back, and licks his way down the knobbly hills and valleys of Remus' spine. He freezes, mouth hovering just in the small of Remus' back, when Remus squirms delightfully, pressing his hips into the mattress in his sleep. Remus stills and his breath settles back into the deep, even quiet of slumber. Sirius breathes in, his face pressed to Remus' skin, and traces circles with his tongue down the dip at the base of Remus' spine. He rubs his cheek over the softer skin of Remus' arse, humming contentedly as his cock swells. Remus sighs and flexes his toes, huffing in the sweet way that lets Sirius know he's awake.
"Some people let a bloke sleep in on his birthday," Remus grumbles, but without any edge of irritation.
"We can sleep later," Sirius whispers, placing open mouthed kisses where Remus' arse meets the top of his thigh.
"Harry won't let us sleep. He probably wants to burn me some toast or some such," Remus says, trying to sound irritated, but Sirius can hear the smile in his voice as Remus rolls his hips lightly against the bed.
"We have thirty-four minutes until Harry wakes up," Sirius says. He pulls back the blankets to see Remus' beautiful, long body, stretched out and relaxed, waiting. "And we're getting older by the second."
"You're not the one who's already 30," Remus says, his voice still even. Sirius' breath catches, waiting for the moment when the desire creeps into Remus' tone.
"But I will be, and then I'll be 40, and before you know it, I'll be as old as Dumbledore," Sirius says to keep Remus talking. He runs his hands up Remus' thighs, presses in with his thumbs, massaging the firm muscle over Remus' arse.
"Dumbledore will always be older than you, Padfoot." Remus is holding himself completely still, not giving in, not letting Sirius see him come undone quite yet.
"You're killing the mood, you know," Sirius says. He presses in with his thumbs again, and blows a gentle puff of breath over Remus' cleft.
Remus gasps so softly that Sirius would never have heard it if he hadn't known to listen for it.
"I'm killing the mood? You're the one-"
"Just shut up," Sirius murmurs, his mouth moving over Remus' arse, soft nips and licks until he laves his tongue the length of Remus' arse.
Remus' hands clench in the pillow and he bends his knees slightly, lifting off the bed and opening himself to Sirius. Sirius flicks his tongue over Remus' entrance and Remus arches up higher, his feet coming to rub against Sirius' thighs.
"Want me to lick you?"
"Mmm, yes," Remus groans, rocking his hips back down, and Sirius knows he's sliding his hard cock against the smooth sheets.
Sex with Remus is an absolute rush. It’s heady and satisfying to do this for someone so appreciative-mm'ing and aah'ing at every turn. It may be that Remus is incredibly sensitive, but Sirius prefers to believe that he is incredibly talented and he will make Remus come from just this, just his tongue fluttering against his hole, circling and dipping inside.
Remus spreads his legs further and groans. Sirius grips his hips and presses in, mouth open over Remus' entrance, suffusing the kiss with his own growing desire. Remus moans, naked desperation as he writhes on the bed while Sirius slowly fucks him with his tongue. Sirius braces himself against the bed on one elbow and reaches his other hand to squeeze Remus' balls, and Remus babbles his name. He pulls his tongue out and licks over Remus' entrance, long, firm swipes that he knows tingle on Remus' every nerve ending.
"Oh fuck, Sirius, oh fuck, yes," Remus stammers, all breathless gasps into the pillows. He slams his hips down on the bed and rocks back and forth between the sheets and Sirius' mouth. Sirius holds on tight and kisses deeply, holding Remus, helping him ride it out through his orgasm. When Remus stills, Sirius moves up Remus' long body, kissing and touching every inch of skin until he can press against him.
Remus groans, a long, deep sound that resonates in Sirius' chest. Sirius rolls his hips, pressing his hard cock against Remus' thigh. He's been hard since he first touched Remus, the warm slide of skin under the blankets. It doesn't take much. Remus turns his head, sleepy and sated, to kiss him and slips his hand between their bodies. He curls his fingers around Sirius' cock and strokes him with a firm, practiced touch until Sirius shudders and moans into the kiss.
He wriggles closer until he's nearly on top of Remus, and melts into him, eyes drifting shut.
"As brilliant as that was, don't think you're going to get away with not fucking me on my birthday," Remus says, flopping onto his back and pulling Sirius back to sprawl over half of his body. He tucks Sirius' head under his chin and nuzzles his cheek against Sirius' hair.
"Oh, I intend to. As a matter of fact, I intend to make you come once for every year you've graced the earth with your devastating sexiness," Sirius murmurs, lips against Remus' throat.
Remus scoffs, "Idiot. You're utterly mad. That's not possible."
"Anything's possible. That's one down."
Sirius reaches out and grabs his pyjama bottom, wiping his face just as what sounds like a herd of baby hippogriffs comes stampeding down the hallway.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It took Remus years, but he has managed to fully convince Sirius of the value of lists. Today there are several to consult-the guest list, the shopping list, the list of ways to get Remus alone for anywhere from ten to twenty-five minutes.
"I've everything on the shopping list," Sirius says, running his finger down the parchment where it's unfurled on the kitchen counter. "I'll just Floo the rest of the Order and see who's coming by."
Remus rolls his eyes and stirs a teaspoon of sugar into his tea. "Don't ask Gideon. He's always looking at your arse."
"All the better to keep you on your toes."
"I think your plan for the day is enough to keep me on my toes, thanks." Remus says, smiling at Sirius in a way that, even after all these years, makes something inside his belly flutter.
"Harry wants to invite Roger."
Remus splutters tea across the table. "The menace from the play park?" Remus asks, cleaning the table with an easy wave of his wand. "I don't need a ten-year-old making off-colour sexual comments at my birthday tea."
"Right, that's my job," Sirius says. "But have you seen the parents? The dad's pretty fit." He moves the guest list aside and adds 'shower while he's shaving' and 'send Harry to Arabella's for reading' to his last list.
"So's the mum," Remus parries. "Why, what are you thinking?"
"Hmpf, I'm thinking I'll make certain to have Gideon over if that's what you're after," Sirius grumbles.
"If that's what I was after, I don't think Gideon has it."
"This conversation is taking a turn," Sirius mutters with the feeling that things are spiralling out of his control. He scratches 'Roger and family' off the guest list.
"Padfoot," Remus says as he stands and moves into the circle of Sirius' arms. Sirius sighs with relief. "I'd much prefer it just be us, just our family."
He kisses Remus' temple and then his cheek, inhaling the scent of his hair. All through school and the couple of years after, the four of them and then Lily, had made each of their birthdays into a national holiday. It still feels off, never enough, and Sirius can't quite find the words to thank Remus for letting him off the hook.
"I got dressed without any help and you didn't even have to ask me," Harry says, bursting into the kitchen wearing red track pants and a purple t-shirt with a comic of Martin Miggs the Mad Muggle stepping off the second storey of a bus. Harry's right hand is rather obviously behind his back.
"So I see," Remus says, blinking. "Is that my birthday present? No nagging at you?"
"No," Harry says with a delighted grin. "This is!" He pulls a book from behind his back, bound with bits of red and gold ribbon, and thrusts it proudly at Remus. This, Sirius knows, is Harry's own version of his favourite comic and he's been working on it for weeks. Remus pulls away from Sirius' loose embrace to give his present its due. He blinks again and his eyes look damp. Big softy, he is.
"Harry," Remus says, looking slightly stunned. "This is incredible."
"Do you like it?" Harry asks, shifting from one white-toed trainer to the other.
"I love it," Remus says. "Thank you, Harry. I think this is the best birthday present I have ever received." Harry beams like the sun and Sirius feels a rush of affection for the two of them, so strong it almost makes him dizzy.
"What did Padfoot get you?" Harry asks, leaning on Remus so he can watch as Remus flips through the book, showing Martin running from page to page.
"He's apparently throwing me a party and I believe there's to be cake," Remus says.
"There'll be prizes in the cake, won't there? On Padfoot's birthday, I got a Snitch and a stuffed owl. I hope there's a broom this time. Padfoot, did you get a cake with good prizes this time? On account of Roger wants to come and he won't like it if there's not good prizes."
"Breakfast?" Sirius asks, hoping that some toast in his mouth might slow Harry down.
"Thanks. Sausages?" Harry says, flinging himself into a chair at the kitchen table. "Roger's mum said she wouldn't mind spending an evening with you two sometime. She said it to his dad and I don't think she knows I heard, but I think we should invite them to tea."
Remus upsets his tea and another chip flies from his favourite, ancient tea cup. "When did she say that?"
"At the play park yesterday, when I said they should come for Moony's tea."
"We'll see about inviting Roger and his family," Sirius says quickly over Remus' small sound of alarm. "There're already quite a few people on the guest list and I don't know if we've enough cake."
Remus gives him that look that says you'd better figure a way out of this if you hope to ever have sex again.
"I have to piss. Sausages, please?" Harry exclaims. He bounds out of the kitchen and stomps down the hallway to the loo.
"Ever wonder what it looks like inside his brain?" Sirius asks, shaking his head fondly as the dulcet sounds of Harry's latest improvisational composition rise above the running water.
"At least we know he's washing his hands. Don't you forget now, you are going to fuck me on my birthday and then there's the little matter of your own lofty goals," Remus whispers as he leans over Sirius at the sink. "If Roger's hanging about setting fires or whatever he does now, his mother's going for a threesome, and Gideon's hoping to grope your arse, I am not sure how these things are going to happen."
Sirius drops six sausages into the frying pan, turning the gas up with a flick of his wand. At least that he can control.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sirius braces his hands on his knees and stands, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
"Two," he says, kissing Remus' pink-stained, over-heated cheek. "Twenty-eight to go."
He rubs his hand over his hard cock, groaning in relief at the pressure. Remus shakes his head, tendrils of hair brushing his cheeks. He looks down and covers Sirius' hand with his own.
"When's Harry due back from Arabella's?"
"About an hour," Sirius says, his heart beating at the way the corners of Remus' mouth curve in a dangerous smile.
"Should we go for three?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"This isn't much of a party. Are you terribly disappointed, Moony?" Harry asks, surveying a sprout with suspicion. "And why are we having sprouts when we can have anything we want?"
Sirius squashes a wave of defensiveness. The dining room is decorated in red and gold, streamers blowing in the enchanted breeze, balloons weaving patterns through the air. The table is spread with all of Remus' favourite foods. It's not the party he had planned, but Remus had finally convinced him it would be better with just the three of them. One awkward conversation with Roger's mum and another, somewhat arousing, one with Gideon later, here they are. "I-"
"This is exactly the party I wanted, Harry," Remus says firmly. "My favourite people and my favourite tea. Nothing could be better."
"Are you shrinking, Moony?" Harry asks, pushing his sprouts around with a bit of roast potato.
"Come again?" Remus says, and Sirius squints at him, measuring him against the back of his chair with sudden concern. He had been somewhat distracted when he was making the gravy. Remus had been behind him working on number five, after all. It occurs to him for the second time in recent weeks that keeping the spices and the potions ingredients in the same cupboard is perhaps misguided.
"I don't think-" Sirius begins.
"Roger says you shrink when you get old," Harry chirps. "He says his gran can hardly reach the top shelf where she keeps the sherry on account of she's shrunk since she put it there."
"I see." Remus clears his throat over a chuckle. "Well, I'm not quite that old and since I eat my sprouts, perhaps I won't shrink so soon as some," Remus says, and Sirius is amazed as always at his patience. Sirius would have just told him to stop listening to Roger's mental tales and eat his dinner. "And Sirius is tall, so he can help me if need be."
"Are we all going to have cake together?" Harry asks, spearing the last of his potatoes.
"Of course we are," Sirius says. "It's Moony's birthday party. There must be cake. Why wouldn't we have it together?"
"Roger's dad just had his birthday last week and his mum bought him a cake that was just for the grown ups on account of the prizes in it were unappropriate for kids. They had trifle at dinner."
Remus clears his throat again. "No one's having cake unless both of you eats at least one sprout apiece. Must eat vegetables to get cake."
"Roger says that potatoes are a vegetable."
"Roger doesn't know everything," Sirius says. "Eat your dinner, and then we'll wish Moony many happy returns and eat as much of his cake as he'll let us. I promise there are good prizes in it."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I think it's time to cut ties with Roger," Sirius says. Remus is leaning against the kitchen counter, relaxed and easy like he only looks at home, sipping Firewhisky. "He'll be showing Harry those unappropriate prizes any day now. He wouldn't settle down, by the way. I think that third bit of cake was a mistake."
"Sirius," Remus says, and Sirius notices the slow, smouldering way that Remus' eyes graze over his body. "You were in there a long time and I've been waiting."
Sirius steps close so that his bare toes touch the ends of Remus' shoes. "What're you waiting for?"
"My present," Remus says. He slides his hand around Sirius' waist and leans to kiss the line of his jaw.
"Hmm," Sirius says, tipping his head and losing himself in the feel of Remus' lips on his neck. "Don't know as I should show it to you after all." He flicks his wand and whispers, "Accio cake." A huge chocolate confection bangs out of the cupboard and zips across the counter. "Seems I had the same idea as Roger's mum, I'm mortified to say."
"Roger's mum is growing on me," Remus says, sliding his hand under Sirius' shirt to rub the skin of his lower back. "What's inside this one, then?"
"You have to eat it," Sirius said. He leans in close and brushes his lips over the tendon at the side of Remus' throat.
"Mmm," Remus hums. "Say that again."
Remus trails his finger in the rich, dark icing and sucks it into his mouth, pink lips sliding down his finger, cheeks hollowing, and Sirius feels the room dip and sway around him. "Fuck, Moony."
"That's delicious," Remus says, slipping his finger from his mouth and licking his lips. He swirls his finger through the chocolate again and raises it to Sirius' lips, pushing in slowly. Sirius curls his tongue around the finger, searching out every last drop of icing.
Remus shifts, pulling his hands from Sirius and reaching for his wand. He brandishes it at the cake and with a wordless spell, several small parcels burst through, scattering bits of cake and chocolate all over the kitchen.
"Let's see what we have here." Remus brushes cake off the first, tiny parcel. He taps it with his wand and the paper falls away. With a muttered, Engorgio, it expands into a nine-inch dildo. "You saying something about my size?"
"Who says you're to use it on me?" Sirius asks. "I could be expressing my own insecurities."
"Not possible," Remus says, tapping the second parcel. "A cock ring? Now you're making a statement about my stamina?" Remus' brow furrows in a frown, but his brown eyes twinkle. "I'm shrinking and I can't keep it up?"
Sirius brushes his hand down Remus' chest, slipping a finger between the buttons of his shirt to touch warm skin just above the waistband of his trousers. Sirius listens for the moment he loves, the moment that Remus' voice loses its even timbre and takes on the rough, breathless quality that is just for him. There it is, and Sirius drops his hand to palm the front of Remus' trousers. "Doesn't seem to be a problem at the moment."
"Mmm," Remus hums, breaking off a piece of cake and leaning to kiss Sirius with chocolate on his lips. "Four more." He taps the smallest parcel. "Mmm, nipple clamps-I have no idea what you're trying to say with those."
"That I want you," Sirius says.
"I'll want these sometime, Pads," Remus says. "But tonight, I just want you. Let's open the rest later."
"You know what I haven't done for ages?" Sirius moves behind him, kisses the shell of his ear, his neck, leans his chest to Remus' back. "Fucked you against the wall."
"This is a counter," Remus says. He arches his back, pressing his arse into Sirius.
"Fuck, Remus," Sirius says. Wrapping his arms around Remus, he rolls his hips to grind his aching cock against him, burying his face in the hair at the back of Remus' neck. "You still drive me mad."
Remus twines their fingers together and turns his head to capture Sirius' mouth. Sirius kisses back, as necessary as breathing. He wants to touch Remus everywhere, show him again and again how much he's loved, how grateful Sirius is that, after all, they still have each other. He steps back, pulls away from the warmth of Remus' body with a sigh, still holding him around the waist. He steers Remus down the corridor, touching and kissing as they go. Remus stumbles and swears as he knocks in to the wall, and they both freeze, listening for Harry.
"Bedroom, Moony," Sirius whispers. "Where we can shut the door."
It's only four more steps, but it seems like ages until Sirius can push Remus through the door and back him up, trapping him against the wall with a hand on either side of his head. Remus smiles at him, that same mischievous grin he had when he was fifteen, and Sirius bends to kiss it from his lips. He combs his fingers through Remus' shaggy hair, twining his fingers where it curls around his ears. "You sorry Roger's mum's not here?"
"I just want you, Padfoot," Remus said, drawing the back of his hand down Sirius' cheek.
Sirius presses his lips to Remus' throat, sucking on the tender skin below his jaw, and Remus sighs so prettily that Sirius presses in harder, pulling the skin between his lips. Remus pushes up Sirius’ shirt, teasing fingers over his chest, catching his nipples until Sirius gasps and rips his own shirt over his head.
"Yours," Sirius says and tugs at Remus’ jumper.
"Mine," Remus says, drawing a finger down Sirius' chest. He sheds his jumper and works his trousers and pants off, kicking them out of the way. He takes Sirius' hand and turns, wrapping himself in Sirius' arms and bracing one hand against the wall. "I thought you were going to fuck me against the wall."
Sirius slides his hands up Remus' ribs, watching for the shudder as his fingers tease the curve of his underarm. He caresses the length of Remus' arms, urging them over his head. Remus leans his head back, soft hair brushing Sirius' cheek and groans softly, hums of want that slide over Sirius' skin. Sirius cups his hand and non-verbally casts the charm that has set his heart racing with anticipation since Remus first taught it to him. His hand is cool and slick.
"I want you now," Sirius says, sliding his fingers into Remus' cleft and smoothing the slippery stuff over Remus' skin. He finds Remus' entrance with the tip of his finger and slides inside, cool replaced with warmth.
"Yes," Remus groans. He spreads his hands out on the wall and pushes back, forcing Sirius' finger deeper. "Come on," Remus urges, widening his stance and bending at the waist.
"You'd think it was my birthday," Sirius says, mouth dry at the sight in front of him. He runs one hand up and down Remus' side to steady himself as he lets his cock slide along Remus' cleft. He feels the head catch at the edge of Remus' entrance with each pass, and Remus' whimpers become more urgent.
"Fuck me," Remus moans.
Sirius pushes inside. He watches Remus' body open to take him in, watches his cock slide into Remus until he has to close his eyes and count to ten. Remus rocks back against him and Sirius grabs his hips, pulling Remus back and forth. He has to open his eyes, has to watch again, the way the muscles in Remus' back and arse flex with each thrust, the way his own cock looks when he pulls almost all the way out.
"Harder," Remus say, fingers clenching against the wall.
Sirius shifts his feet apart, bends his knees so he can thrust up into Remus with more force, and Remus rewards him with a strangled, ragged groan.
"Moony," Sirius gasps. "Moony, touch yourself." He's not going to last long with Remus moaning and writhing in front of him, arse clenching on his cock every time Sirius pulls out.
"Don't you dare come yet," Remus growls, and there is no chance that Sirius would when he says it like that. One of Remus' hands drags down the wall and disappears in front of him. Remus' arm moves in time with his hips as he fucks himself on Sirius' cock, and Sirius holds on to Remus' hips, trying to hang on. Remus tips his head back and Sirius can feel all of his muscles tense as he rocks frantically back and forth between his fist and Sirius' cock. Sirius closes his eyes and lets himself just feel. The pressure of Remus' arse on his cock seems to double and he can feel Remus coming, pulling him along with him. Intense heat surrounds his cock as he comes deep inside Remus.
He drops his head to Remus' back and wraps his arms around him. "I'm not sure I can move." He smiles and Remus laughs, breathless and soft. "I don't think I want to," Sirius adds, pulling him closer, trying to stay inside him just a little longer.
Remus stretches, rolling his shoulders, and Sirius slips from his body. Remus turns and pulls Sirius to him in an embrace.
"Come on, Padfoot," Remus says. "I'll tuck you in."
Sirius lets Remus lead him to to bed, clean him up, and settle him with his head on Remus' chest, the blankets tucked snugly about his shoulders. He has the vague sense that he is supposed to be doing this for Remus today, but it feels so blissful that he can't bring himself to care.
"Happy Birthday, Moony," he murmurs, eyes drifting shut.
"I'm not sure we managed thirty." Sirius can hear the smirk in his voice.
"It's still your birthday for a few hours," Sirius says. A plan is a plan, after all.
"I'm utterly knackered," Remus says, but something light and teasing in his voice makes Sirius blink his heavy eyes open.
"Set the alarm? Two hours?" Sirius asks, splaying his fingers out on Remus' belly and looking up into his twinkling brown eyes.
"Make it three and you're on," Remus says, throwing his arm around Sirius' waist. "And Sirius? We've still to try out my presents."
Sirius turns his back to set the alarm. He intended to set it for three hours, really he did, but there are things Remus hasn't even opened yet.
An hour and a half should be more than enough.