FIC: (Not) Just Another Day [Remus/Sirius; Hard R]
(A teeny bit late)
There once was a werewolf named Moony
Who with Sirius Black would get spoony
When his birthday arrived
The fangirls all cried
So Sirius stepped up and said "Do me!"
At the behest of gryffindor_j, that perv who demanded birthday fic in honour of Remus' 50th Birthday, we proudly present:
Fly the Friendly Skies by gryffindor_j; Rated NC-17
Summary: Sirius does his very best to give Remus what he wants for his 50th birthday.
Let Him Eat Cake by mindabbles; Rated NC-17
Summary: Most mornings he has to pull himself away from the arm slung across his waist, slide his hand over Remus' arse without lingering, and stumble directly into the shower so that he can be awake and functioning before Harry thunders in demanding breakfast. This is not most mornings. It's Remus' 30th birthday.
(Even better than) the real thing by red_squared; Rated PG
Summary: Vanilla' doesn't mean what Remus thinks it means.
And my own contribution:
Title: (Not) Just Another Day
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Rating: R
Summary: For his 18th birthday, Remus just wants a nice cake, however Sirius is bound and determined to find the perfect present.
Warnings: None.
Word Count: ~3,300
Author's Notes: For Remus on the occasion of his 50th birthday, because I can't say no to gryffindor_j. A bit of fluff, sex, humour, and slightly crackish, but birthdays are supposed to be full of those things anyway. Thanks to lauriegilbert and gryffindor_j for the quick and dirty beta, and thanks to Whammo! for the fabulous toys that have entertained millions of Muggles.
Monday, 16 January 1978
"So," Sirius said, flopping down on Remus' bed. "What do you want for your birthday?"
"I don't want anything."
"There's got to be something."
"Sirius, my birthday isn't for another two months at least."
"Fifty-three days."
Remus blinked. "You're insane. Off your bloody rocker. Anal-retentive comes to mind."
"Oi!," James called from his own bed. "I don't need to know any more about Sirius' tight, clenching arse than I already do, thanks."
"You're just jealous because my arse turns you on, you randy bastard. Not that I blame you. Everyone knows my arse is irresistible," Sirius said.
"Your bony arse does nothing of the sort, bloody narcissist."
"My arse is not bony, you specky git. It's firm and very nicely shaped. Tell 'im, Moony!"
Remus rolled his eyes, just as James replied, "I already know what Moony thinks of your arse and all the nasty things he does to it, because you two wankers always forget to cast a bloody silencing charm! I know you forget on purpose, too, fuckers. Poor Wormy here's been traumatised for life, but do you care?"
"Just 'cause Lily won't let you do more than snog her-"
"I felt her up last night!"
"Oh, yeah? Bet you tripped and accidentally grabbed her tit when you fell!"
"Did not!"
Remus blushed and hid his face in his hands as Sirius and James squabbled. At least Sirius had stopped badgering him about his birthday.
Wednesday, 22 February 1978
"C'mon Remus! Just a little hint?"
Remus sighed. "I already told you. A nice cake. Maybe a cream cake. Or a raspberry sponge."
"But that's boring! Everyone gets cake for their birthday anyway. You're supposed to be showered with frivolous gifts and attention!"
"Oh, yes. Because I just adore attention. Wasn't Valentine's Day enough? Between you and James and your bloody competition. Honestly. I think this is the first day the dormitory doesn't smell like a bloody flower garden. I was beginning to miss the aroma of mouldy socks."
Sirius lowered his eyes and bit his lip, and for a moment, Remus felt a pang of guilt. It wasn't that he'd hated it, despite the mishaps, and he'd been secretly pleased and flattered by the lengths Sirius had gone to. But grand gestures and expensive extravagances always embarrassed him, and not just because he couldn't afford to reciprocate.
"I'm sorry. The flowers were lovely, and the waterbed was...interesting, at least before it burst. Look. You know I don't really like my birthday. It's nothing special, just another day."
Sirius huffed. "See, that's your problem right there. It is special. You," he said, and poked Remus in the chest, "are a bloody wet blanket."
"Interesting choice of phrases, 'Mr-I-Don't-Have-To-Trim-My-Toenails'."
"That wasn't my fault! Who knew Muggles made those things so flimsy?"
"Muggles didn't make that bed. You Transfigured it out of a balloon!" Remus said, throwing his hands in the air.
"That's beside the point."
"And just what is the point?" Remus asked, exasperated.
"Your birthday, you stupid git."
"I don't need anything."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Again with the missing the point."
"What's the point now?"
"It's not about needing anything. Before we...well, before. We always got you stuff from Zonkos, or books or jumpers. But now..." Sirius trailed off, shuffling his feet. "Look, it's different now. I want to get you something different. Something unique. Special, alright?"
Remus smiled, leant forward and grasped Sirius' chin, kissing him softly on the lips. "You daft idiot. I already have something special. And believe me, it's unique all right."
"You're just saying that to avoid answering my question."
"Well, yes," Remus said, stepping back and grabbing his book bag. He looked over his shoulder, gazing pointedly at Sirius, his eyes glancing down to Sirius' feet, over his body, and back up to Sirius' frowning face, and a slow smile spread across his own. "It's true though."
Thursday, 2 March 1978
"He won't tell me what he wants," Sirius said, moping. "What are you getting him?"
James shrugged. "I wanted to get him a bottle of Ogden's Old, but then I thought maybe a fancy quill or something-they got a new shipment of gold-nibbed peacock feather ones at Scrivenshafts-but Lily says it's too garish. She's taking me to Muggle London on Saturday. Says there's some nice shops, and you know how Remus has always been fascinated with old Muggle things."
"Lily Evans, Head Girl to your big-headed boyship, is planning to break school rules so shamelessly? What did you slip in her pumpkin juice?"
James smacked him in the back of the head. "I'll have you know it was her idea. Tosser."
"I always knew I liked her."
James gave him a look and rolled his eyes.
Sirius brightened. "Can I come?"
James narrowed his eyes. "You want me to let you come on my date with Lily?"
"You won't even know I'm there. Promise!"
"That's because you're not going to be there."
"Proooooongs," Sirius whinged. He rubbed his cheek against James' shoulder, looked up at him through his fringe, and batted his eyelashes. "Please?"
"You think flirting with me is going to help?"
Sirius pouted, putting on the most pitiful face he could think of. "You don't love me anymore."
"Right, that's it. You are completely mental! It's his birthday, for Merlin's sake. Just get him something he likes."
"He likes Muggle things. And there aren't any Muggle things in Hogsmeade, are there? I wish I knew someone who was familiar with Muggle shopping districts. Do we know anyone who might fit that description? Someone with a sense of mischief and adventure who we wouldn't even have to jinx or bribe into sneaking off to London on Satur-Oh, hello, Evans. Fancy meeting you here," Sirius said, offering his most charming smile.
James shook his head and smacked himself on the forehead. "I hate you," he muttered under his breath.
Friday, 10 March 1978 - 6:45 a.m.
Remus was having an especially fantastic dream. Granted most dreams that involved Sirius and sex were pretty bloody fantastic, but in this one, Sirius was clad in black leather boots, his new black leather jacket that he bought himself for Christmas, unzipped, and the inch-thick black leather collar-which Remus had bought for him for Christmas-that fit snug around his neck.
And absolutely nothing else.
He was on his knees before Remus, looking up at him with eyes rimmed in black kohl, grey irises pale and almost luminescent in contrast, his lips red and swollen and wrapped tightly around Remus' cock.
He reached down to touch Sirius' hair, soft and thick and shaggy, but Remus would never tell him to cut it. He loved the way it felt, and ran his fingers through it now as he thrust into Sirius' hot, wet mouth.
"Mmmm," he said, and Sirius hummed in return, making his cock tingle from the vibrations. "Please," he said, gasping. "Don't stop."
Sirius hummed again, louder, though it was more of a moan, and Remus opened his eyes.
It wasn't a dream after all. Well, except for the eyeliner and the boots and jacket part. Perhaps later...
Thoughts of later dissolved like smoke in the wake of the immediacy of Sirius' mouth on his cock, his tongue doing ridiculously naughty things in between intervals of hot, tight suction, leaving him breathless and gasping.
"Happy Birthday, Moony," Sirius whispered, kissing him on the lips.
Remus, half dazed, grinned against Sirius' mouth, his eyes widening as Sirius' tongue briefly slipped between his lips, leaving behind a toothflossing stringmint which promptly went to work.
"That's your first present," Sirius said. "You'll get the rest throughout the day, and m'not telling you what. It's a surprise."
"P'rhaps my birthday isn't so bad after all," Remus said, though it was difficult to enunciate around the stringmint.
Sirius rolled to the side, pulling the covers over them and snuggling next to Remus. "Your birthday's going to be brilliant. Just you wait."
"Oh, God, you're going to blow up the castle, aren't you."
"Don't be daft. We're saving that until after the leaving feast."
Remus shook his head. "Going out with a bang?"
"More than one if I'm lucky," Sirius said, with a rather lascivious expression on his face.
"Speaking of, you, ah, need a hand?"
"Nah," he said, reaching under the covers and coming out with a sock, which he tossed over his shoulder onto the floor. "Took care of myself first. Where..." He was rootling under the bedclothes again. "There you are, fucker," he said, pulling out the matching sock rather gingerly. It was crumpled and soiled, and he glanced at it briefly before tossing it after the first.
"Padfoot..."
"Mmmm?" Sirius replied, burrowing into the crook of Remus' shoulder and nosing against his side.
"Was that my sock?"
"Ummm..."
"Remind me to burn them later, you bastard."
Friday, 10 March 1978 - 8:34 a.m.
"Why are we out in the courtyard?" Remus asked, shivering without his cloak.
"Don't ask stupid questions. Here. First, well, second present, 'cause you got your first one this morning. Open it." Sirius said, handing over a tiny, round, wrapped gift.
Remus squeezed the package. Whatever was inside was round and solid. Puzzled, he picked at a piece of Spellotape, and Sirius snorted. "Just rip it open."
"It's my present. I'll unwrap it as I like," Remus said, hiding a grin. Sirius had never been one for patience, and particularly at times like this, Remus found it amusing to taunt him. But he was also curious about the small package, so he did as Sirius bade, and tore the layers of paper.
Inside was a round, hard, cloudy red rubber ball that was perhaps two inches in diameter.
"It's a ball," he said, stating the obvious.
"Yes!" Sirius said with glee. "Isn't it brilliant?"
"Sirius, it's a ball."
"It's not just any ball. It's a special Muggle Super Ball. The lady in the shop said they stopped making them because they were too dangerous. Muggles kept poking their eyes out with them or somesuch. It's a collector's item!"
"It's a ball"
"Go on! Bounce it!"
Remus rolled his eyes and dropped it onto the stones in the courtyard. The ball hit the ground with hardly a sound and bounced right back up to his hand. He caught it and looked up at Sirius.
"Um..."
"No," Sirius said. "You have to bounce it hard. Like this." He took the ball from Remus, stepped back, wound his arm, and threw it hard at the ground.
The ball ricocheted off the near wall, flew high over the adjacent wall, at least three storeys high before they lost sight of it. Seconds later there was a sound of tinkling glass.
"Uh oh," Sirius said, grabbing Remus' wrist. Before they could run, Professor McGonagall appeared at the broken window, and even four storeys above them, they could see her narrowed eyes and compressed lips.
"Mister Black, Mister Lupin! What is the meaning of this?"
"Sorry, Professor," Sirius called. "Er, can we have the ball back, please?" Remus hung his head; he was afraid if he looked up, he might burst out laughing.
"Certainly not. Now off with you both. I won't have you causing mayhem this early in the morning."
Friday, 10 March 1978 - 12:07 p.m.
"But what does it do?" Remus asked, frowning at the metal coil shimmying in his hands.
"Watch!" Sirius said, grinning as he took the coil from Remus and placed it at the top of the staircase. He stretched the coil into an arc onto the next step and let it go. "It's called a Slinky. Really popular with the Muggles. Everyone has one."
The coil jingled as the metal rings came together, then tumbled onto the next stair, end over end, down the steps, until it hit the eighth step, and promptly disappeared.
"Oh, shit!" Sirius ran down the stairs, knelt on the seventh step, and plunged his arm into the eighth nearly up to shoulder, feeling around. "It's got to be in here somewhere. Argh!" he cried out, tugging on his arm and flailing as he tried to balance on the narrow step. "Ger'off, you bastard!"
"Hey, Moony," Peter called as he and James joined Remus on the landing.
James nudged Remus and raised his eyebrows when Remus turned to face him. "Do I want to know?" he asked. Peter stood beside James, staring at Sirius flailing below, his mouth open in a small 'o'.
Remus shook his head. "I'm not sure I know." He looked down at Sirius blocking the entire staircase, still cursing and floundering about, trying to free his arm, which had sunk even lower.
"Maybe we should go that way," Remus said, pointing to an adjacent staircase.
Friday, 10 March 1978 - 4:22 p.m.
"Happy Birthday, Moony, you ungrateful, backstabbing, sod," Sirius said, handing over the rather large, circular package.
Remus eyed it warily.
"Well, open it already. It's not gonna bite you," Sirius said, rubbing his arm.
They'd found him, still lying half-caught in the stair after lunch. He'd been fairly hacked off at the three of them, but after they'd freed him and dragged him up to the dormitory, Remus had produced a large plate of steak and kidney pudding, still warm. After he'd eaten, still scowling at them, Remus had shooed James and Peter from the room, and 'made Sirius' arm feel better' in a more...personal way.
"Did we miss it?" Peter asked, breathless as he and James ran into the dormitory, tossing their book bags on the floor. Lily followed more sedately behind.
Remus raised his eyebrows, feeling around the edge of the package. "What is it?"
"If you'd quit fondling it and open it," Sirius said.
"Right, all right," Remus said and tore open the paper. Inside was a very large, blue plastic hoop. He studied it carefully, sliding the smooth plastic through his curled fingers. Something inside the hollow tube rattled and clacked as he turned it.
"An Apparation hoop?" he asked.
"Why would I buy you something daft like that?" Sirius asked, shaking his head.
"You bought me a Slingy-"
"A Slinky!"
"-which you promptly lost-"
"That wasn't my fault!"
"All right. I give up."
"It's a Hula Hoop," Sirius said, breaking into a wide grin. "Go on, try it."
Lily chuckled and explained. "You put it around your waist. No, hold the edges on each side. Yes, like that. Now you hold it against your back, right, and spin it round your middle and let go."
Remus stared at her. "I what?" He felt rather ridiculous holding a plastic hoop around his waist.
"Spin it. Go on."
"Yeah, Moony. Do it," Sirius said, leaning forward.
Remus sighed. "Fine." He spun the hoop. It rotated twice around his hips, banged against his arse and thigh, and fell to the floor with a rattling sound. "Well, that was...fun."
"Idiot," Sirius said, getting to his feet and picking up the hoop. "You have to move your hips to keep it-oh, bugger it, stand aside. I'll show you."
Sirius positioned the hoop around his waist and spun it, raising his arms and wriggling and thrusting his hips in a rhythmic circular motion. The hoop swung round and round, circling his waist with a rattling clicking sound. James and Peter burst out laughing, but Remus wasn't paying much attention to them. His eyes were too busy staring at Sirius' thrusting pelvis.
Lily leant close, standing on her toes to whisper in his ear. "You like it? I picked it out. Spent hours teaching him."
"I love you, Lily," Remus said reverently, his gaze never leaving Sirius's hips.
Friday, 10 March 1978 - 11:47 p.m.
The party was still in full swing despite the late hour and the ever-present threat of Professor McGonagall storming in, taking points and handing out detentions. The common room was packed; the long table that held various cakes and sweets and bottles of butterbeer was nearly depleted. The remnants of a very large raspberry sponge cream cake lay on a fancy gilded tray in the middle.
The gramophone-"it's called a Victor-ola," Sirius had said when Remus had unwrapped it, completely stunned-worked beautifully; they'd only had to re-crank it once. Sirius had found it at a stall on Portobello Road, and had fixed it up and added several Charms, enabling it to play more modern record albums.
James, Lily, and Peter had presented him with several albums to go with it, including the Beatles, Queen, Slade, David Bowie, and at Lily's insistence, the newly released Saturday Night Fever soundtrack.
James had balked at what he called "poncy disco shite", but when one of the slower songs on the record-something about deep love-had started playing and Lily had pressed her body tight against his to dance, he'd had a rather staggering change of heart.
"Pssst, Moony," Sirius called in a loud whisper. Remus turned from where he was watching James and several others dancing about, pretending to play instruments along with the music.
Sirius beckoned to him, and he glanced around, trying to be discreet as he slowly backed away from the crowd to where Sirius was standing near the stairs that led to the dormitories.
"C'mon," Sirius said, leading him behind the stairs to where a small, secluded alcove was located. "Had to chase Murray and Belby out first. Nice, yeah?" he said gesturing to where a door now stood, blocking off the alcove behind. A sign was hung on the door which read:
Keep the Bloody Hell Out!
(Else I'll permanently Transfigure you into a Puffskein! And don't think I won't! You too, Potter!)
-Sirius Black.
Remus shook his head in amusement as Sirius led him into the alcove, restoring the door behind them. The gramophone was still blaring, a slower ballad now after the raunchy refrains of The Sex Pistols' Anarchy in the U.K..
Sirius put his arms around Remus' waist, pulled him close and kissed him long and slow. Remus' arms were around Sirius' neck, and they swayed to the slow beat of the music-Prongs' new favourite song, he thought idly, and smiled against Sirius' lips.
"Do you like your presents?"
"Love them, though I still think you spent far too much money on me."
"I told you. It was broken and falling apart. It hardly cost me anything. The bloke practically paid me to take it. I had to fix it up a bit-the big horn thingy was bashed in on one side-but the Charms were a lot less complicated than I thought."
"You're very good with your wand," Remus murmured.
"Mmmm, both of them," Sirius replied, licking around the edge of Remus' ear.
Remus shivered and ran his fingers through Sirius' hair at the nape of his neck.
"So," Sirius said, still swaying, "I was thinking. After we leave school. You should move into my flat with me."
"I thought James was moving in with you."
"He is."
"It's only got two bedrooms."
"I know," Sirius said, kissing Remus' neck and sucking gently at the juncture of neck and shoulder.
"Then-"
"If you want your own bedroom, I could share with Prongs, but he snores." Sirius kissed the corner of Remus' jaw beneath his ear.
"Oh," Remus said, fingers clenching tighter. "Really?"
"You hear him practically every night. Like a rusty hinge."
"I meant the 'me sharing a room with you' part, wanker. It's still months away, you know."
"I know. You planning to dump me for another charming, gorgeous Animagus who's good with his wand?"
"Charming?"
"I'm very good at Charms." Sirius muttered under his breath, and Remus gasped as his cock tingled, slick with lube beneath his pants and trousers.
Remus slid his arms down and around Sirius' waist, slipping his hands down the back of Sirius' jeans and clutching at his bare arse. He kissed Sirius long and deep, pressing their bodies close.
"Happy Birthday, Moony," Sirius whispered, and there was no further coherent conversation after that.
~*~
There once was a werewolf named Moony
Who with Sirius Black would get spoony
When his birthday arrived
The fangirls all cried
So Sirius stepped up and said "Do me!"
At the behest of gryffindor_j, that perv who demanded birthday fic in honour of Remus' 50th Birthday, we proudly present:
Fly the Friendly Skies by gryffindor_j; Rated NC-17
Summary: Sirius does his very best to give Remus what he wants for his 50th birthday.
Let Him Eat Cake by mindabbles; Rated NC-17
Summary: Most mornings he has to pull himself away from the arm slung across his waist, slide his hand over Remus' arse without lingering, and stumble directly into the shower so that he can be awake and functioning before Harry thunders in demanding breakfast. This is not most mornings. It's Remus' 30th birthday.
(Even better than) the real thing by red_squared; Rated PG
Summary: Vanilla' doesn't mean what Remus thinks it means.
And my own contribution:
Title: (Not) Just Another Day
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Rating: R
Summary: For his 18th birthday, Remus just wants a nice cake, however Sirius is bound and determined to find the perfect present.
Warnings: None.
Word Count: ~3,300
Author's Notes: For Remus on the occasion of his 50th birthday, because I can't say no to gryffindor_j. A bit of fluff, sex, humour, and slightly crackish, but birthdays are supposed to be full of those things anyway. Thanks to lauriegilbert and gryffindor_j for the quick and dirty beta, and thanks to Whammo! for the fabulous toys that have entertained millions of Muggles.
Monday, 16 January 1978
"So," Sirius said, flopping down on Remus' bed. "What do you want for your birthday?"
"I don't want anything."
"There's got to be something."
"Sirius, my birthday isn't for another two months at least."
"Fifty-three days."
Remus blinked. "You're insane. Off your bloody rocker. Anal-retentive comes to mind."
"Oi!," James called from his own bed. "I don't need to know any more about Sirius' tight, clenching arse than I already do, thanks."
"You're just jealous because my arse turns you on, you randy bastard. Not that I blame you. Everyone knows my arse is irresistible," Sirius said.
"Your bony arse does nothing of the sort, bloody narcissist."
"My arse is not bony, you specky git. It's firm and very nicely shaped. Tell 'im, Moony!"
Remus rolled his eyes, just as James replied, "I already know what Moony thinks of your arse and all the nasty things he does to it, because you two wankers always forget to cast a bloody silencing charm! I know you forget on purpose, too, fuckers. Poor Wormy here's been traumatised for life, but do you care?"
"Just 'cause Lily won't let you do more than snog her-"
"I felt her up last night!"
"Oh, yeah? Bet you tripped and accidentally grabbed her tit when you fell!"
"Did not!"
Remus blushed and hid his face in his hands as Sirius and James squabbled. At least Sirius had stopped badgering him about his birthday.
Wednesday, 22 February 1978
"C'mon Remus! Just a little hint?"
Remus sighed. "I already told you. A nice cake. Maybe a cream cake. Or a raspberry sponge."
"But that's boring! Everyone gets cake for their birthday anyway. You're supposed to be showered with frivolous gifts and attention!"
"Oh, yes. Because I just adore attention. Wasn't Valentine's Day enough? Between you and James and your bloody competition. Honestly. I think this is the first day the dormitory doesn't smell like a bloody flower garden. I was beginning to miss the aroma of mouldy socks."
Sirius lowered his eyes and bit his lip, and for a moment, Remus felt a pang of guilt. It wasn't that he'd hated it, despite the mishaps, and he'd been secretly pleased and flattered by the lengths Sirius had gone to. But grand gestures and expensive extravagances always embarrassed him, and not just because he couldn't afford to reciprocate.
"I'm sorry. The flowers were lovely, and the waterbed was...interesting, at least before it burst. Look. You know I don't really like my birthday. It's nothing special, just another day."
Sirius huffed. "See, that's your problem right there. It is special. You," he said, and poked Remus in the chest, "are a bloody wet blanket."
"Interesting choice of phrases, 'Mr-I-Don't-Have-To-Trim-My-Toenails'."
"That wasn't my fault! Who knew Muggles made those things so flimsy?"
"Muggles didn't make that bed. You Transfigured it out of a balloon!" Remus said, throwing his hands in the air.
"That's beside the point."
"And just what is the point?" Remus asked, exasperated.
"Your birthday, you stupid git."
"I don't need anything."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Again with the missing the point."
"What's the point now?"
"It's not about needing anything. Before we...well, before. We always got you stuff from Zonkos, or books or jumpers. But now..." Sirius trailed off, shuffling his feet. "Look, it's different now. I want to get you something different. Something unique. Special, alright?"
Remus smiled, leant forward and grasped Sirius' chin, kissing him softly on the lips. "You daft idiot. I already have something special. And believe me, it's unique all right."
"You're just saying that to avoid answering my question."
"Well, yes," Remus said, stepping back and grabbing his book bag. He looked over his shoulder, gazing pointedly at Sirius, his eyes glancing down to Sirius' feet, over his body, and back up to Sirius' frowning face, and a slow smile spread across his own. "It's true though."
Thursday, 2 March 1978
"He won't tell me what he wants," Sirius said, moping. "What are you getting him?"
James shrugged. "I wanted to get him a bottle of Ogden's Old, but then I thought maybe a fancy quill or something-they got a new shipment of gold-nibbed peacock feather ones at Scrivenshafts-but Lily says it's too garish. She's taking me to Muggle London on Saturday. Says there's some nice shops, and you know how Remus has always been fascinated with old Muggle things."
"Lily Evans, Head Girl to your big-headed boyship, is planning to break school rules so shamelessly? What did you slip in her pumpkin juice?"
James smacked him in the back of the head. "I'll have you know it was her idea. Tosser."
"I always knew I liked her."
James gave him a look and rolled his eyes.
Sirius brightened. "Can I come?"
James narrowed his eyes. "You want me to let you come on my date with Lily?"
"You won't even know I'm there. Promise!"
"That's because you're not going to be there."
"Proooooongs," Sirius whinged. He rubbed his cheek against James' shoulder, looked up at him through his fringe, and batted his eyelashes. "Please?"
"You think flirting with me is going to help?"
Sirius pouted, putting on the most pitiful face he could think of. "You don't love me anymore."
"Right, that's it. You are completely mental! It's his birthday, for Merlin's sake. Just get him something he likes."
"He likes Muggle things. And there aren't any Muggle things in Hogsmeade, are there? I wish I knew someone who was familiar with Muggle shopping districts. Do we know anyone who might fit that description? Someone with a sense of mischief and adventure who we wouldn't even have to jinx or bribe into sneaking off to London on Satur-Oh, hello, Evans. Fancy meeting you here," Sirius said, offering his most charming smile.
James shook his head and smacked himself on the forehead. "I hate you," he muttered under his breath.
Friday, 10 March 1978 - 6:45 a.m.
Remus was having an especially fantastic dream. Granted most dreams that involved Sirius and sex were pretty bloody fantastic, but in this one, Sirius was clad in black leather boots, his new black leather jacket that he bought himself for Christmas, unzipped, and the inch-thick black leather collar-which Remus had bought for him for Christmas-that fit snug around his neck.
And absolutely nothing else.
He was on his knees before Remus, looking up at him with eyes rimmed in black kohl, grey irises pale and almost luminescent in contrast, his lips red and swollen and wrapped tightly around Remus' cock.
He reached down to touch Sirius' hair, soft and thick and shaggy, but Remus would never tell him to cut it. He loved the way it felt, and ran his fingers through it now as he thrust into Sirius' hot, wet mouth.
"Mmmm," he said, and Sirius hummed in return, making his cock tingle from the vibrations. "Please," he said, gasping. "Don't stop."
Sirius hummed again, louder, though it was more of a moan, and Remus opened his eyes.
It wasn't a dream after all. Well, except for the eyeliner and the boots and jacket part. Perhaps later...
Thoughts of later dissolved like smoke in the wake of the immediacy of Sirius' mouth on his cock, his tongue doing ridiculously naughty things in between intervals of hot, tight suction, leaving him breathless and gasping.
"Happy Birthday, Moony," Sirius whispered, kissing him on the lips.
Remus, half dazed, grinned against Sirius' mouth, his eyes widening as Sirius' tongue briefly slipped between his lips, leaving behind a toothflossing stringmint which promptly went to work.
"That's your first present," Sirius said. "You'll get the rest throughout the day, and m'not telling you what. It's a surprise."
"P'rhaps my birthday isn't so bad after all," Remus said, though it was difficult to enunciate around the stringmint.
Sirius rolled to the side, pulling the covers over them and snuggling next to Remus. "Your birthday's going to be brilliant. Just you wait."
"Oh, God, you're going to blow up the castle, aren't you."
"Don't be daft. We're saving that until after the leaving feast."
Remus shook his head. "Going out with a bang?"
"More than one if I'm lucky," Sirius said, with a rather lascivious expression on his face.
"Speaking of, you, ah, need a hand?"
"Nah," he said, reaching under the covers and coming out with a sock, which he tossed over his shoulder onto the floor. "Took care of myself first. Where..." He was rootling under the bedclothes again. "There you are, fucker," he said, pulling out the matching sock rather gingerly. It was crumpled and soiled, and he glanced at it briefly before tossing it after the first.
"Padfoot..."
"Mmmm?" Sirius replied, burrowing into the crook of Remus' shoulder and nosing against his side.
"Was that my sock?"
"Ummm..."
"Remind me to burn them later, you bastard."
Friday, 10 March 1978 - 8:34 a.m.
"Why are we out in the courtyard?" Remus asked, shivering without his cloak.
"Don't ask stupid questions. Here. First, well, second present, 'cause you got your first one this morning. Open it." Sirius said, handing over a tiny, round, wrapped gift.
Remus squeezed the package. Whatever was inside was round and solid. Puzzled, he picked at a piece of Spellotape, and Sirius snorted. "Just rip it open."
"It's my present. I'll unwrap it as I like," Remus said, hiding a grin. Sirius had never been one for patience, and particularly at times like this, Remus found it amusing to taunt him. But he was also curious about the small package, so he did as Sirius bade, and tore the layers of paper.
Inside was a round, hard, cloudy red rubber ball that was perhaps two inches in diameter.
"It's a ball," he said, stating the obvious.
"Yes!" Sirius said with glee. "Isn't it brilliant?"
"Sirius, it's a ball."
"It's not just any ball. It's a special Muggle Super Ball. The lady in the shop said they stopped making them because they were too dangerous. Muggles kept poking their eyes out with them or somesuch. It's a collector's item!"
"It's a ball"
"Go on! Bounce it!"
Remus rolled his eyes and dropped it onto the stones in the courtyard. The ball hit the ground with hardly a sound and bounced right back up to his hand. He caught it and looked up at Sirius.
"Um..."
"No," Sirius said. "You have to bounce it hard. Like this." He took the ball from Remus, stepped back, wound his arm, and threw it hard at the ground.
The ball ricocheted off the near wall, flew high over the adjacent wall, at least three storeys high before they lost sight of it. Seconds later there was a sound of tinkling glass.
"Uh oh," Sirius said, grabbing Remus' wrist. Before they could run, Professor McGonagall appeared at the broken window, and even four storeys above them, they could see her narrowed eyes and compressed lips.
"Mister Black, Mister Lupin! What is the meaning of this?"
"Sorry, Professor," Sirius called. "Er, can we have the ball back, please?" Remus hung his head; he was afraid if he looked up, he might burst out laughing.
"Certainly not. Now off with you both. I won't have you causing mayhem this early in the morning."
Friday, 10 March 1978 - 12:07 p.m.
"But what does it do?" Remus asked, frowning at the metal coil shimmying in his hands.
"Watch!" Sirius said, grinning as he took the coil from Remus and placed it at the top of the staircase. He stretched the coil into an arc onto the next step and let it go. "It's called a Slinky. Really popular with the Muggles. Everyone has one."
The coil jingled as the metal rings came together, then tumbled onto the next stair, end over end, down the steps, until it hit the eighth step, and promptly disappeared.
"Oh, shit!" Sirius ran down the stairs, knelt on the seventh step, and plunged his arm into the eighth nearly up to shoulder, feeling around. "It's got to be in here somewhere. Argh!" he cried out, tugging on his arm and flailing as he tried to balance on the narrow step. "Ger'off, you bastard!"
"Hey, Moony," Peter called as he and James joined Remus on the landing.
James nudged Remus and raised his eyebrows when Remus turned to face him. "Do I want to know?" he asked. Peter stood beside James, staring at Sirius flailing below, his mouth open in a small 'o'.
Remus shook his head. "I'm not sure I know." He looked down at Sirius blocking the entire staircase, still cursing and floundering about, trying to free his arm, which had sunk even lower.
"Maybe we should go that way," Remus said, pointing to an adjacent staircase.
Friday, 10 March 1978 - 4:22 p.m.
"Happy Birthday, Moony, you ungrateful, backstabbing, sod," Sirius said, handing over the rather large, circular package.
Remus eyed it warily.
"Well, open it already. It's not gonna bite you," Sirius said, rubbing his arm.
They'd found him, still lying half-caught in the stair after lunch. He'd been fairly hacked off at the three of them, but after they'd freed him and dragged him up to the dormitory, Remus had produced a large plate of steak and kidney pudding, still warm. After he'd eaten, still scowling at them, Remus had shooed James and Peter from the room, and 'made Sirius' arm feel better' in a more...personal way.
"Did we miss it?" Peter asked, breathless as he and James ran into the dormitory, tossing their book bags on the floor. Lily followed more sedately behind.
Remus raised his eyebrows, feeling around the edge of the package. "What is it?"
"If you'd quit fondling it and open it," Sirius said.
"Right, all right," Remus said and tore open the paper. Inside was a very large, blue plastic hoop. He studied it carefully, sliding the smooth plastic through his curled fingers. Something inside the hollow tube rattled and clacked as he turned it.
"An Apparation hoop?" he asked.
"Why would I buy you something daft like that?" Sirius asked, shaking his head.
"You bought me a Slingy-"
"A Slinky!"
"-which you promptly lost-"
"That wasn't my fault!"
"All right. I give up."
"It's a Hula Hoop," Sirius said, breaking into a wide grin. "Go on, try it."
Lily chuckled and explained. "You put it around your waist. No, hold the edges on each side. Yes, like that. Now you hold it against your back, right, and spin it round your middle and let go."
Remus stared at her. "I what?" He felt rather ridiculous holding a plastic hoop around his waist.
"Spin it. Go on."
"Yeah, Moony. Do it," Sirius said, leaning forward.
Remus sighed. "Fine." He spun the hoop. It rotated twice around his hips, banged against his arse and thigh, and fell to the floor with a rattling sound. "Well, that was...fun."
"Idiot," Sirius said, getting to his feet and picking up the hoop. "You have to move your hips to keep it-oh, bugger it, stand aside. I'll show you."
Sirius positioned the hoop around his waist and spun it, raising his arms and wriggling and thrusting his hips in a rhythmic circular motion. The hoop swung round and round, circling his waist with a rattling clicking sound. James and Peter burst out laughing, but Remus wasn't paying much attention to them. His eyes were too busy staring at Sirius' thrusting pelvis.
Lily leant close, standing on her toes to whisper in his ear. "You like it? I picked it out. Spent hours teaching him."
"I love you, Lily," Remus said reverently, his gaze never leaving Sirius's hips.
Friday, 10 March 1978 - 11:47 p.m.
The party was still in full swing despite the late hour and the ever-present threat of Professor McGonagall storming in, taking points and handing out detentions. The common room was packed; the long table that held various cakes and sweets and bottles of butterbeer was nearly depleted. The remnants of a very large raspberry sponge cream cake lay on a fancy gilded tray in the middle.
The gramophone-"it's called a Victor-ola," Sirius had said when Remus had unwrapped it, completely stunned-worked beautifully; they'd only had to re-crank it once. Sirius had found it at a stall on Portobello Road, and had fixed it up and added several Charms, enabling it to play more modern record albums.
James, Lily, and Peter had presented him with several albums to go with it, including the Beatles, Queen, Slade, David Bowie, and at Lily's insistence, the newly released Saturday Night Fever soundtrack.
James had balked at what he called "poncy disco shite", but when one of the slower songs on the record-something about deep love-had started playing and Lily had pressed her body tight against his to dance, he'd had a rather staggering change of heart.
"Pssst, Moony," Sirius called in a loud whisper. Remus turned from where he was watching James and several others dancing about, pretending to play instruments along with the music.
Sirius beckoned to him, and he glanced around, trying to be discreet as he slowly backed away from the crowd to where Sirius was standing near the stairs that led to the dormitories.
"C'mon," Sirius said, leading him behind the stairs to where a small, secluded alcove was located. "Had to chase Murray and Belby out first. Nice, yeah?" he said gesturing to where a door now stood, blocking off the alcove behind. A sign was hung on the door which read:
Keep the Bloody Hell Out!
(Else I'll permanently Transfigure you into a Puffskein! And don't think I won't! You too, Potter!)
-Sirius Black.
Remus shook his head in amusement as Sirius led him into the alcove, restoring the door behind them. The gramophone was still blaring, a slower ballad now after the raunchy refrains of The Sex Pistols' Anarchy in the U.K..
Sirius put his arms around Remus' waist, pulled him close and kissed him long and slow. Remus' arms were around Sirius' neck, and they swayed to the slow beat of the music-Prongs' new favourite song, he thought idly, and smiled against Sirius' lips.
"Do you like your presents?"
"Love them, though I still think you spent far too much money on me."
"I told you. It was broken and falling apart. It hardly cost me anything. The bloke practically paid me to take it. I had to fix it up a bit-the big horn thingy was bashed in on one side-but the Charms were a lot less complicated than I thought."
"You're very good with your wand," Remus murmured.
"Mmmm, both of them," Sirius replied, licking around the edge of Remus' ear.
Remus shivered and ran his fingers through Sirius' hair at the nape of his neck.
"So," Sirius said, still swaying, "I was thinking. After we leave school. You should move into my flat with me."
"I thought James was moving in with you."
"He is."
"It's only got two bedrooms."
"I know," Sirius said, kissing Remus' neck and sucking gently at the juncture of neck and shoulder.
"Then-"
"If you want your own bedroom, I could share with Prongs, but he snores." Sirius kissed the corner of Remus' jaw beneath his ear.
"Oh," Remus said, fingers clenching tighter. "Really?"
"You hear him practically every night. Like a rusty hinge."
"I meant the 'me sharing a room with you' part, wanker. It's still months away, you know."
"I know. You planning to dump me for another charming, gorgeous Animagus who's good with his wand?"
"Charming?"
"I'm very good at Charms." Sirius muttered under his breath, and Remus gasped as his cock tingled, slick with lube beneath his pants and trousers.
Remus slid his arms down and around Sirius' waist, slipping his hands down the back of Sirius' jeans and clutching at his bare arse. He kissed Sirius long and deep, pressing their bodies close.
"Happy Birthday, Moony," Sirius whispered, and there was no further coherent conversation after that.
~*~