(Untitled)

[merlinianblood]

The relatively scrawny young man who shuffles into the bar looks very much like he's just rolled out of bed. His hair is tousled, his Pac-Man tee is rumpled, his boxers are... well, boxers, and he's only wearing one sock.

He looks around, blinks, and decides that this is somehow Bennet's fault.

"Dude," he sighs, turning to face the door through which

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[sunbaked_baker]

Sunshine is in the middle of setting down on a table her tray of... well, baked goods with plenty of glucose involved. Cinnamon rolls and deep, dark chocolate cake, and berry tarts and other things of a sinful nature.

Seeing a kid (admittedly, he's only five years younger than her) freaking out about the bar makes her pause, however. She remembers that feeling - it's not pleasant.

"I take it you're new," she says, wry but not unsympathetic. "It's not a hallucination."

[merlinianblood]

If not for the wave of panic dragging him under, Dave might actually remember how hungry he is. Cinnamon rolls are his favorite and it's way past breakfast time, but... yeah, kinda distracted.

"Yes it is," he immediately snaps, shaking his head. "It is. I know it is. The doctors told me that this is what happens to people with my condition, sometimes. We hallucinate."

[sunbaked_baker]

"Just visual, or olfactory and gustatory hallucinations, too?" she says, holding out a cinnamon roll roughly the size of a human skull on a small plate.

It's still warm from the oven, gooey and moist, smelling of baked cinnamon and sugar and yeast dough.

[merlinianblood]

"...all of the above," he stammers, unconsciously taking a step forward.

Do not engage with your hallucinations.

He takes a step back.

"Sorry, I'm... not supposed to talk to you. Or eat your imaginary food."

[777thdegree]

Glucose imbalance. That's right, Dave.

That's why your hallucinations have re-occcuring themes.

Like a lanky-haired sorcerer with an odd taste in clothing.

Like that one at the bar with a cinnamon roll half the size of his head (only half, because he's already made his way through the other half).

[merlinianblood]

Well.

So much for Dave's "let's just walk out the other door a few feet away and see what happens" plan.

Instead, he's going to slowly and silently inch along the wall toward the door and hope that he can reach his escape before his old friend turns around.

As he moves, he can hear his old doctor's voice in his head spewing some gobbledygook about how hallucinations can't hurt you, but you can hurt yourself.

This is, of course, the exact moment when he trips over something that looks suspiciously like a giant rat and knocks over a chair in the process.

MISSION: FAILED.

[777thdegree]

He half-turns on the stool, centuries of defending himself at the drop of a hat making him naturally wary.

...

There appears to be a young man in his underwear sprawled on the floor, being scolded by one of the waitrats.

...

Well. That would be the definition of the beginning of a bad day. He asks the bar to keep an eye on his cinnamon roll, and strolls over to see if t he boy needs rescuing.

[merlinianblood]

It's probably not the first time Balthazar's ever had someone scramble away from him, but it's probably the first time someone's done so in pajamas. Maybe.

"No, no, noooo no no no." This is all the verbiage Dave can manage as he clambers to his feet and sticks an accusing finger in Balthazar's face. "No. Go away. You're not real and I am telling you to go away. We're not doing this again, man!"

Because if Dave yells at everything, it will all go away. That is obviously how hallucinations work.

[claudiometer]

"And why would you think you're hallucinating?"
...Not that Claudia's likely to dissuade him of that notion any time soon. The pink (this week) stripe in her hair and the fact that she's dressed, as her boss once put it, like a thrift store fell on her are normalish enough. But she just realised her soda got too warm to drink, and her chosen re-chilling method - shaking a snowglobe that's producing actual snow out the bottom - definitely isn't.
(Don't tell Artie.)

[merlinianblood]

"Because I am?"

Duh, hallucination-girl with the weird snow globe that Dave is currently staring at.

After a few seconds he breaks his gaze from the object and shakes his head. "Go away. I'm not supposed to talk to you."

[claudiometer]

"Dude, if my boss can't get me to stop coming in here, you don't stand a chance."
Claudia puts the snowglobe away and takes a drink of her soda like it's nothing unusual. (For her, it isn't.) "You're not hallucinating, you're just a Milliways noob."

[merlinianblood]

Dave stares at her.

"I'm not a noob."

Because out of everything she just said, that's what Dave decides is the thing he has to address first. Priorities.

"Wait, what?"

[guppy_sandhu]

"Are you okay there?" Guppy asks, spotting the newcomer.

If it actually was glucose imbalance, he could help with that too...

[merlinianblood]

"Nope," Dave chirps, probably a little too cheerily for comfort. But, hey! He knows what's happening to him, so why shouldn't he be pleased? He knows he didn't just really walk into a bar that should have been his bathroom.

Everything is fine and dandy.

"But it'll go away. I'm just having an episode."

[guppy_sandhu]

"Do you know where you are?" Guppy asks.

[merlinianblood]

And there goes the cheeriness, promptly replaced by a real life lineface and some snark.

"Do I look like I know where I am, dude?"

[wannab_hokage]

Or it could be rea, and that boy in the bright orange outfit could also be real.

"Oi!" he said loudly, " You're in the way! Dattebayo!"

[merlinianblood]

That's entirely possible.

Except that it's actually not. Dave tilts his head at the boy, brows furrowing. "...uh. Gesundheit?"

[wannab_hokage]

"What does that mean? Dattebayo!" asked Naruto.

[merlinianblood]

"It's German for 'good health.' You say it when people sneeze."

Basically, Dave was making a bad joke.

"What does 'dattebayo' mean?" he asks, though he figures he should be the one to know, since this is his hallucination.