Seventeen Steps (8/?)
Title: Seventeen Steps (8/?)
Author: millionstar
Pairing: Belldom (AU)
Rating: Will vary, this chapter: PG
Warnings: None
Beta: My Random Chants Selection, ophelia1971 &hearts
Summary: Matthew is intrigued by his newest neighbor.
Feedback: Would be lovely, if you are so inclined.
Disclaimer: I don't own Muse; the following is pure fiction.
One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven
Matthew was awakened unusually early by his phone ringing on Monday morning. His initial irritation soon turned to excitement, though, as he realized who it was. After all, this was, what… three days in a row now?
He loved hearing this particular voice first thing in the morning. The only thing better would be to hear it in person first thing in the morning. Matthew reached across the bed for his phone.
“’Ello?”
“Good morning, gorgeous,” Dominic whispered.
“Good morning to you, gorgeous-er,” he purred.
Dominic giggled. “I’m not sure that’s a word, Matthew,” he admonished.
“It is now,” Matthew proclaimed with a yawn.
“I woke you again, didn’t I? I’m sorry to call so early, I just-” Dominic blushed.
“Don‘t apologize. I-I love hearing from you,” Matthew whispered, his body suddenly pleasantly warm. “How’s Paige?”
“Quite well. She’s responding so well to her treatments that her doctors are going to let her come home for a couple of days. One of her girlfriends is flying in to spend the weekend with her. It’s nice to see Paige so excited.”
“I’m so happy to hear that,” Matthew smiled, stretching.
“That’s not even the best part, you know.”
“It‘s not?”
“You do realize this means I am free all weekend.”
Matthew sat up, the sheet falling away from his body. “You are?”
“I am. Do you have plans?”
Matthew snorted, his heart beginning to race. “Are you kidding?!?! Not at all.”
“How about I cook for you Saturday night? I’ll bring everything. All you have to do is relax and enjoy. You took such good care of me the other night. Let me return the favor.”
An actual night with Dom all to myself? “That sounds perfect,” Matthew said happily. “I mean, you don’t owe me anything. I just want to see you again.”
“It’s a date, then.” Dominic glanced in annoyance at Paige, who had just emerged from the bathroom, making kissing sounds in his general direction. He pointed a finger at her in warning, grinning when she shot her middle finger back at him. Suddenly she darted over to Dominic, grabbing the phone from him.
“Is this the mysterious Matthew? Behold - he exists! Good morning to you, sir! Lemme ask you a question. How do you tolerate my brother? ” Paige laughed as Dominic reached out to grab it back.
Matthew was going to respond, but he could hear the two of them mock-fighting over the phone. He dissolved into giggles at what he heard.
“Paige, give it!”
“I‘m talking to Mister Bellamy!”
“Don’t make me get out of this chair…”
“Why so uptight, Dommie? I was just being friendly.”
“I’m going to tickle you if you don’t give me the phone, Paige. Tickle you with a vengeance,” Dominic warned.
“You wouldn’t dare,” Paige gasped.
“Try me. This hospital room isn’t that big - you have nowhere to hide.”
“Fine, fine! You are officially no fun, Dom. Jeez! Have a lovely day, Matthew,” she yelled.
“This is a hospital! Yell louder why don’t you?”
“Ooh, can I?” Paige smirked as she climbed back into bed.
Dominic’s voice came on again, out of breath. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. That was bloody adorable, you know.” Matthew lay back on his pillows with a chuckle, pulling the sheet back over his body.
Dominic smiled despite himself. “I should let you go. It’s still early yet. I’ll see you Saturday night. Go back to sleep, ok? Have a nice dream for me. But tell Nova I said hello before you do.”
“I will. See you Saturday, and give your sister my best.”
As Matthew hung up the phone he eyed Nova seriously. “Dominic said to tell you hello, love.”
Nova circled her plastic seaweed as she took in Matthew’s announcement. After a few seconds she retreated into her little cave.
Matthew snuggled down into his duvet, still buzzing pleasantly from his wake-up call.
He slept.
______
Matthew watched, spellbound as the young man at his piano finished his piece.
“That’s very good, David!” Matthew exclaimed. “You’ve really been practicing, haven’t you?”
David didn’t speak. He merely stared at the black and white keys before him, shoulders drooping. He took a deep breath and forced a smile onto his face.
“Thank you.”
Matthew cocked an eyebrow at David. He sat down in front of the window, crossing his arms.
“Is something wrong, David? You‘ve been unusually quiet all day.”
David looked up quickly at Matthew, and then looked away just as quickly. He cleared his throat, focusing on the bowl of bananas on Matthew’s kitchen table. Suddenly he spoke.
“I think I’m a bad person.”
Matthew was confused. “Why would you think such a thing, David?”
The boy looked Matthew in the eye. “Because I don’t love my dad anymore. He left me and Mum last week.”
Matthew’s heart sank. “I’m sorry to hear that, mate.”
“That’s why I’ve been practicing a lot lately. If I play hard enough I can’t hear mum crying.” David stared at his hands folded in his lap. “He told me to look after Mum. I’m just a kid, I don’t know how to look after her.”
Matthew seethed with rage. Nice. What a load of responsibility to dump on an eleven year old. “I know it seems bad right now, David, but just try to hang in there. I’ve been where you are now. It will get better.”
Or maybe it won’t. It never got better for me.
Matthew looked away.
David spoke. “Your mum and dad got a divorce?”
Matthew swallowed. This was not something that he wanted to talk about… or remember. Ever. He nodded tersely. “Yes, they did.”
“Do you still talk to your dad?”
Matthew felt sick. He could still hear the last words his father spoke to him all those years ago.
“I have no use for a gay son, Matthew. Remember that.”
Matthew smiled tightly. He changed the subject slightly. “Please don’t think that your dad doesn’t love you, David. He and your mum will still be there for you - but it will be something of an adjustment. Give it time.”
Liar.
David smiled weakly. “Thanks, Matthew. Are we done for today?”
“I think so,” Matthew nodded, forcing a smile onto his face. He helped the boy collect his books and walked him to the front door. Once he had left Matthew closed the door and collapsed against it, shaking. He shook his head repeatedly in an effort to shake the unpleasant memories from his mind.
“Is that really the best you can do, Matthew?”
“Stay out of this. I’m his father, I know what he needs - not you.”
“You disgust me.”
Matthew tore down the hallway, making it to his bathroom just in time to be sick into the toilet. Wave after wave of nausea came spilling out of him. He knelt on the tiled floor, resting his damp head on the cool porcelain, for what seemed like an eternity. He struggled to calm himself. Angry tears were leaking out of the corners of his eyes.
Don’t think about it. Don’t remember it. Push it back inside, Matthew.
Mercifully, his phone rang. He stood and walked shakily to his bedroom, answering it with a shaking hand.
“Hello?”
A familiar, booming voice answered him. “Matty boy! How are you?”
Matthew wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “Tom?” he sniffed.
“How many Toms do you know, Bells? Are you getting a cold?”
Matthew laughed to himself. A call from an old friend? This was just the distraction he needed.
“Thomas Kirk. Is there an angry mob of husbands chasing you with pitchforks? And no, I‘m okay, just had something in my eye.”
Tom was affronted. “I’ll have you know I have changed my ways, Matt, thank you very much! I am a one woman man now. All I have to do now is find her…”
Matthew snorted. “There’s always a catch, Thomas.”
“Still a comedian, eh, Bells? D’you want to meet up for a drink tonight so we can catch up? I just got back into town, just pulled up in front of granddad’s house. How is he, by the way?”
“Liam is fantastic, I see him every morning. He’s gonna be so happy to see you. Does he know you‘re home?”
Tom balanced his phone between his ear and shoulder as he exited his car. He smiled widely at the older man who had come rushing out to meet him as soon as he’d heard a car outside. Liam enveloped his grandson in his arms.
Tom squeaked as he was hugged tightly. “Yeah, he knows. I’ll pick you up in a couple of hours, yeah?”
“Sure thing. Tell Liam I said hello.”
Matthew hung up the phone and sat down on his bed. He took a deep breath and ran one hand through his hair, the strain of going from one emotional extreme to another leaving him weak. Standing, he walked over to his mirror, only to find that he couldn‘t look himself in the eye.
Matthew closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. He was proud of the person he had become, of the life he had built for himself. There really was nothing that he needed to prove, or apologize for. He opened his eyes and addressed his reflection.
“It‘s okay,” he proclaimed. “You’re okay.”
It was in that moment that Matthew felt incredibly envious of the bond that Dominic and Paige shared. It was a reassurance to him that Dominic, at least, had family he was close to. A supportive family member…the concept was utterly foreign to Matthew. He sighed, angry that he hadn’t been more helpful to David. He was even angrier at himself for allowing these memories to affect him so. Matthew hadn’t thought about the darkest days of his life for a few years now. There was no way he was going to let memories of his father bring him down. Not after all these years.
Not now, when he had just found Dominic. Of course it was early days yet, but Matthew found himself wondering if Dominic could be happy with him. So many people in his life had rejected him: occasionally he wondered if he was cursed. Thank God for Chris, Tom and Kelly.
And Dominic. With a little luck, Dominic would end up being the one who could see the person Matthew was and not reject him. The thought calmed Matthew to no end.
He opened his eyes and nodded at his reflection. He was okay.
He would be even better come Saturday…
Author: millionstar
Pairing: Belldom (AU)
Rating: Will vary, this chapter: PG
Warnings: None
Beta: My Random Chants Selection, ophelia1971 &hearts
Summary: Matthew is intrigued by his newest neighbor.
Feedback: Would be lovely, if you are so inclined.
Disclaimer: I don't own Muse; the following is pure fiction.
One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven
Matthew was awakened unusually early by his phone ringing on Monday morning. His initial irritation soon turned to excitement, though, as he realized who it was. After all, this was, what… three days in a row now?
He loved hearing this particular voice first thing in the morning. The only thing better would be to hear it in person first thing in the morning. Matthew reached across the bed for his phone.
“’Ello?”
“Good morning, gorgeous,” Dominic whispered.
“Good morning to you, gorgeous-er,” he purred.
Dominic giggled. “I’m not sure that’s a word, Matthew,” he admonished.
“It is now,” Matthew proclaimed with a yawn.
“I woke you again, didn’t I? I’m sorry to call so early, I just-” Dominic blushed.
“Don‘t apologize. I-I love hearing from you,” Matthew whispered, his body suddenly pleasantly warm. “How’s Paige?”
“Quite well. She’s responding so well to her treatments that her doctors are going to let her come home for a couple of days. One of her girlfriends is flying in to spend the weekend with her. It’s nice to see Paige so excited.”
“I’m so happy to hear that,” Matthew smiled, stretching.
“That’s not even the best part, you know.”
“It‘s not?”
“You do realize this means I am free all weekend.”
Matthew sat up, the sheet falling away from his body. “You are?”
“I am. Do you have plans?”
Matthew snorted, his heart beginning to race. “Are you kidding?!?! Not at all.”
“How about I cook for you Saturday night? I’ll bring everything. All you have to do is relax and enjoy. You took such good care of me the other night. Let me return the favor.”
An actual night with Dom all to myself? “That sounds perfect,” Matthew said happily. “I mean, you don’t owe me anything. I just want to see you again.”
“It’s a date, then.” Dominic glanced in annoyance at Paige, who had just emerged from the bathroom, making kissing sounds in his general direction. He pointed a finger at her in warning, grinning when she shot her middle finger back at him. Suddenly she darted over to Dominic, grabbing the phone from him.
“Is this the mysterious Matthew? Behold - he exists! Good morning to you, sir! Lemme ask you a question. How do you tolerate my brother? ” Paige laughed as Dominic reached out to grab it back.
Matthew was going to respond, but he could hear the two of them mock-fighting over the phone. He dissolved into giggles at what he heard.
“Paige, give it!”
“I‘m talking to Mister Bellamy!”
“Don’t make me get out of this chair…”
“Why so uptight, Dommie? I was just being friendly.”
“I’m going to tickle you if you don’t give me the phone, Paige. Tickle you with a vengeance,” Dominic warned.
“You wouldn’t dare,” Paige gasped.
“Try me. This hospital room isn’t that big - you have nowhere to hide.”
“Fine, fine! You are officially no fun, Dom. Jeez! Have a lovely day, Matthew,” she yelled.
“This is a hospital! Yell louder why don’t you?”
“Ooh, can I?” Paige smirked as she climbed back into bed.
Dominic’s voice came on again, out of breath. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. That was bloody adorable, you know.” Matthew lay back on his pillows with a chuckle, pulling the sheet back over his body.
Dominic smiled despite himself. “I should let you go. It’s still early yet. I’ll see you Saturday night. Go back to sleep, ok? Have a nice dream for me. But tell Nova I said hello before you do.”
“I will. See you Saturday, and give your sister my best.”
As Matthew hung up the phone he eyed Nova seriously. “Dominic said to tell you hello, love.”
Nova circled her plastic seaweed as she took in Matthew’s announcement. After a few seconds she retreated into her little cave.
Matthew snuggled down into his duvet, still buzzing pleasantly from his wake-up call.
He slept.
______
Matthew watched, spellbound as the young man at his piano finished his piece.
“That’s very good, David!” Matthew exclaimed. “You’ve really been practicing, haven’t you?”
David didn’t speak. He merely stared at the black and white keys before him, shoulders drooping. He took a deep breath and forced a smile onto his face.
“Thank you.”
Matthew cocked an eyebrow at David. He sat down in front of the window, crossing his arms.
“Is something wrong, David? You‘ve been unusually quiet all day.”
David looked up quickly at Matthew, and then looked away just as quickly. He cleared his throat, focusing on the bowl of bananas on Matthew’s kitchen table. Suddenly he spoke.
“I think I’m a bad person.”
Matthew was confused. “Why would you think such a thing, David?”
The boy looked Matthew in the eye. “Because I don’t love my dad anymore. He left me and Mum last week.”
Matthew’s heart sank. “I’m sorry to hear that, mate.”
“That’s why I’ve been practicing a lot lately. If I play hard enough I can’t hear mum crying.” David stared at his hands folded in his lap. “He told me to look after Mum. I’m just a kid, I don’t know how to look after her.”
Matthew seethed with rage. Nice. What a load of responsibility to dump on an eleven year old. “I know it seems bad right now, David, but just try to hang in there. I’ve been where you are now. It will get better.”
Or maybe it won’t. It never got better for me.
Matthew looked away.
David spoke. “Your mum and dad got a divorce?”
Matthew swallowed. This was not something that he wanted to talk about… or remember. Ever. He nodded tersely. “Yes, they did.”
“Do you still talk to your dad?”
Matthew felt sick. He could still hear the last words his father spoke to him all those years ago.
“I have no use for a gay son, Matthew. Remember that.”
Matthew smiled tightly. He changed the subject slightly. “Please don’t think that your dad doesn’t love you, David. He and your mum will still be there for you - but it will be something of an adjustment. Give it time.”
Liar.
David smiled weakly. “Thanks, Matthew. Are we done for today?”
“I think so,” Matthew nodded, forcing a smile onto his face. He helped the boy collect his books and walked him to the front door. Once he had left Matthew closed the door and collapsed against it, shaking. He shook his head repeatedly in an effort to shake the unpleasant memories from his mind.
“Is that really the best you can do, Matthew?”
“Stay out of this. I’m his father, I know what he needs - not you.”
“You disgust me.”
Matthew tore down the hallway, making it to his bathroom just in time to be sick into the toilet. Wave after wave of nausea came spilling out of him. He knelt on the tiled floor, resting his damp head on the cool porcelain, for what seemed like an eternity. He struggled to calm himself. Angry tears were leaking out of the corners of his eyes.
Don’t think about it. Don’t remember it. Push it back inside, Matthew.
Mercifully, his phone rang. He stood and walked shakily to his bedroom, answering it with a shaking hand.
“Hello?”
A familiar, booming voice answered him. “Matty boy! How are you?”
Matthew wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “Tom?” he sniffed.
“How many Toms do you know, Bells? Are you getting a cold?”
Matthew laughed to himself. A call from an old friend? This was just the distraction he needed.
“Thomas Kirk. Is there an angry mob of husbands chasing you with pitchforks? And no, I‘m okay, just had something in my eye.”
Tom was affronted. “I’ll have you know I have changed my ways, Matt, thank you very much! I am a one woman man now. All I have to do now is find her…”
Matthew snorted. “There’s always a catch, Thomas.”
“Still a comedian, eh, Bells? D’you want to meet up for a drink tonight so we can catch up? I just got back into town, just pulled up in front of granddad’s house. How is he, by the way?”
“Liam is fantastic, I see him every morning. He’s gonna be so happy to see you. Does he know you‘re home?”
Tom balanced his phone between his ear and shoulder as he exited his car. He smiled widely at the older man who had come rushing out to meet him as soon as he’d heard a car outside. Liam enveloped his grandson in his arms.
Tom squeaked as he was hugged tightly. “Yeah, he knows. I’ll pick you up in a couple of hours, yeah?”
“Sure thing. Tell Liam I said hello.”
Matthew hung up the phone and sat down on his bed. He took a deep breath and ran one hand through his hair, the strain of going from one emotional extreme to another leaving him weak. Standing, he walked over to his mirror, only to find that he couldn‘t look himself in the eye.
Matthew closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. He was proud of the person he had become, of the life he had built for himself. There really was nothing that he needed to prove, or apologize for. He opened his eyes and addressed his reflection.
“It‘s okay,” he proclaimed. “You’re okay.”
It was in that moment that Matthew felt incredibly envious of the bond that Dominic and Paige shared. It was a reassurance to him that Dominic, at least, had family he was close to. A supportive family member…the concept was utterly foreign to Matthew. He sighed, angry that he hadn’t been more helpful to David. He was even angrier at himself for allowing these memories to affect him so. Matthew hadn’t thought about the darkest days of his life for a few years now. There was no way he was going to let memories of his father bring him down. Not after all these years.
Not now, when he had just found Dominic. Of course it was early days yet, but Matthew found himself wondering if Dominic could be happy with him. So many people in his life had rejected him: occasionally he wondered if he was cursed. Thank God for Chris, Tom and Kelly.
And Dominic. With a little luck, Dominic would end up being the one who could see the person Matthew was and not reject him. The thought calmed Matthew to no end.
He opened his eyes and nodded at his reflection. He was okay.
He would be even better come Saturday…