Fic: "The Harder They Fall" Kirk, McCoy; NC-17 (3/3)

[mijan]

Title: “The Harder They Fall” (3/3)
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Kirk, McCoy
Word Count: 18,000
Warnings: Intense, hardcore, and potentially triggery. Complete mind-fuck.

"Part 1”, "Part 2”

*********

Comments

[syredronning]

Intense read! I love how inventive Bones is for Jim, to help him through this, but I also think that his kind-of-top-burnout is very believable and touching (been there, done it) and I kind of doubt he'd repeat something like that in the near or far future. Overstepping one's own limits and venturing into no-go land is a tricky thing, especially as it seemed to have him turned on too. Hard to reconcile for some people, and Bones' self-image is all about caring and not-hurting

[mijan]

Squee! I'm so glad you liked the story. I don't think I've ever read top burnout in a fic, and I wanted to see if I could go there. Both Jim and Bones had some trauma here, but in the end, it actually brought them closer together. I'm wondering if I should have worked harder to show the increased intensity of their relationship afterwards. I'm probably going to tweak that, actually. Huh, I'm still overthinking this. LOL.

It was definitely the extreme definition of edgeplay, but Jim never does things in half-measures. In the end, it was worth it for him. That exhaustion he's showing at the beginning of the fic... that was his internal experience of starting to slip into a depression. It's physical exhaustion, but also mental exhaustion. He really needed to snap out of it.

Anyway, I'm delighted that you enjoyed this! I'm going to go back and tweak a couple of things now. :D

[syredronning]

Oh, I'm sure it brought them closer together, but I really loved how you showed Bones here.

Most people go "aw, poor victim" and think of Jim but my experience is that often the sub is the pushing/demanding one in such games, and the top is scratching along his comfort zone :) I loved that you showed his side.

Reboot Bones is easier to write as kinky than TOS Bones, but in both cases I think the caring/nurturing is their core and they'll go to almost any length to help someone, even at their own expense, and doing such a scene is part of that.

Jim never doing anything halfway is very true to his nature, which necessarily includes pushing people around him farther than they might go usually :) It's both his strength and sometimes his problem, that's what I love so much about him.

Thanks again for this cool story!

[mijan]

I think you just put some of that into words better than I could, but yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. Vanilla folks don't see the give and take from both sides of a D/s or S&M arrangement, and they only see one person beating up someone else. I wonder how other people will react to this one.

Thanks again for reading! :D

[eldritchhorrors]

I said it before, but it bears repeating: your kink fics are hyper realistic, and I love them for it.

You changed the ending and it instantly pulled together in a beautiful, visceral, thinky way. I agree with Syredronning, about Bones' top burnout, and it isn't something tackled in many fics at all. I don't know if you practice a lot edge play, but I have, and it is easy (and scary) for the top to hit that ceiling as well.

And Jim's breakthrough...sigh. There is a feeling of awe you get when you reach that kind of epiphany through a scene, so I think that the boundary pushing was totally worth it.

Few people understand true power exchange, let alone write it, but you do it well, hon. Amazing work.

[mijan]

I almost feel like I want to tweak the ending a bit more, but at the same time, I think I should just be satisfied with it, and walk away now

[romanse1]

What a hot, intellectually sexy fic that was

[mijan]

*grins* Thank you! I don't know if I'd call my writing "elite," as I'm not published, and I'm a biologist, not a writer by trade and training, but I'm glad to know that my writing comes across as quality work. Thank you

[lap_otter]

That was... really incredibly uplifting. And I think that when I read it again all at once, instead of being interrupted halfway through by a call from my fiance who is at boot camp, I will find parts of it incredibly personal and relevant. Bones, in this part, reminds me so, so much of my boy, in basically every way, and it moves me.

Thank you for writing this.

[mijan]

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I turned the whole trope on its head, here. Or, at least, that was the intent. I wonder how many non-kink people will read it, and how many will understand it.

[mga1999]

Makes another plea for writing the scene through Bones' POV

Ooooo I agree! Ups the plea to a whimpering beg. *g*

And if you did do it from Bones' POV, you could always play with the end more like you know you want to. *ducks*

[mijan]

You're evil, you know that? :p

[mijan]

Yeah, I kept thinking that there needed to be something at the end to show that Jim DID break out of his little funk, and that he got his head back on straight. Also wanted to show that it added a new depth to the friendship/relationship he has with Bones, and that Bones took a while to emotionally recover from this one. It's not always just the bottom who has emotional fallout from a scene.

I'll definitely consider writing something of this from Bones' POV, but I have other things I need to write first.

[lindmere]

I'll admit that following the reveal, it took a bit of a mental shift for me to accept that Bones was capable of this, but as usual you were extremely thorough and convincing and I believe that as someone training for command, Jim is prepared to push any and all limits. I always thought that TOS!Kirk's "superpower" was his self-awareness, especially when it came to the darker parts of the human psyche.

I also believe that Bones will have a much harder time getting over this, but it will definitely forge a stronger bond between the two men.

As usual, this was full of rich detail and extreme professionalism concerning all aspects of the Trek world, not to mention the craft of writing. A pleasure to read as always.

[mijan]

Bones almost wasn't capable of it, and he only did it because Jim begged him. Jim essentially asked to be physically overwhelmed in this scene, and mentally went along with it once it started. The self-awareness thing... I agree. But sometimes, a person needs to get out of their head because their brain-gears are just spinning circles. It's hard to explain unless you've ever experienced it, but a hardcore "beating" scene can be amazingly cathartic.

Oh, Bones is definitely going to have the rougher time getting over of it... but that's where Jim comes in, to help support him in return, and build him back up again. A good D/s relationship has that sort of balance, and together, they both have what they need. :D

Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read and comment! I'm glad you liked it!