(Untitled)

[midnight_fae24]

Title: A Lesson in Fashion
Fandom: FFVII & Sailor Moon
Pairing: Sephiroth/Hotaru developed by usagivindaloo
Rating: NC-17
Content: Sephiroth picks at Hotaru's senshi uniform and gets his ass kicked. A rematch of course follows, which Sephiroth manages to win. Of course by the end of it, neither are interested in the fight anymore...
Disclaimer: FFVII and Sailor

Comments

[usagivindaloo]

O_O

pt 2

[usagivindaloo]

The only problem I had was with the stripping scene. While it certainly had quite a bit of humor in it... I admit that on some level, it made me feel a bit uneasy. Perhaps because Sephiroth was so blatantly not accepting "no" for an answer... or perhaps because Hotaru's initial reaction to being stripped was so negative (angrily ripping Sephiroth's coat, then *walking away* when she realized where it was going). Obviously she got into it, but I think a little bit more development on Hotaru's end would make it a better scene (ie develop her thought process inbetween "walking away" and "soft sighs of pleasure".) I realize you were probably going for a bit more of a ravishment idea, but it didn't feel quite right. I have absolutely no problem with a little bit of... "persuasion" ("Sephiroth! We shouldn't... this isnt.... I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU STOP, FASTER PLZ"), but given Hotaru's behaviour (specifically walking away, not once but TWICE), it didn't quite come out that way. Some ideas as to how *I* might have tackled it (not saying you

Re: pt 2

[midnight_fae24]

Okay TOTALLY need to FIX that then. It was meant to be playful, but obviously it didn't come across that way. It starts out, he's trying to egg her on and kinda make her forget the whole idea that they could get caught and tempt her. She has that moment of temptation, and I probably should've given her more moments like that. I didn't mean for her to be angry just mildly irritated, but then the kiss sort of makes her forget everything, by that point she's willing to give in to his game. I probably should've developed Hotaru's excitement/arousal more when she gets her skirt ripped off

Re: pt 2

[usagivindaloo]

OMG, now I feel so totally horrible, especially since you posted such kind praise of my fic! ;_; I figured that the idea was for it to be playful and sensual, it's just that it didn't quite... come across that way, for some reason (ie I guessed what you were going for, but the feelings didn't QUITE come through). But now I'm worried that I was "interrogating the text from the wrong perspective" (thank you, Anne Rice XD) and that *I* am the one who's not getting it. XD

To be honest, the only parts that felt a little uncomfortable were these:

Hotaru felt the motion and turned around. “What are you doing?” she demanded