this weekend was psychotic.odd situations. odd feelings. odd everything... i told 3 people how my mother reacted when i was 15, to my sexual preference... and someone finally told me how wrong she was...im starting to deal with the fact that the reason i cant trust anyone fully is cuz i'm scared of that kind of brutal rejection...

life is odd... i took new pics for myspace.... and suddenly i'm miss popularity... shows how superficial people are. anyways... i talked to eddie for the first time in a long time... i dunno why he's so curt with me...i'm not into the drama... what a lost thing. i'm happy though, that life seems to be coming together for a lot of people around me ( Read more... )

whoa my goodness... allen wellard is the hottest thing since sliced bread.

it's kinda funny how somethings are forever constant... over and over and over. i love looking back at my poems and seeing how much i've changed and how much of me has stayed stagnant. lets me know what i gotta work on. this wasn't so much a post as a mental evaluation ( Read more... )

yea, so i cant wait to get the hell out of arizona. I'm so excited. and the past four days have been the breath of fresh air i have been suffocating for. i'm over sean. i am and it feel fantastic.

we talked online yesterday. he said he was still so in love with the real me, the reason he left was cuz i wasn't me anymore, not the chick he loved. and he cried because since he left, i've gotten back to me quicker than i thought possible. he said that if he could find that button to get me back to me he would have married me in a heart beat. he ( Read more... )

so i went to a party last night and ended up running into all sorts of people i knew, including this hardcore chick jessica who saved my life about a month ago at shaundra's party. i got to get way plastered and pretty much all of us were in the same boat. heart break party. it was nice, that feeling of absolute numbness compared to all the ( Read more... )

today burns a little less than yesterday... though the realization that it's really over, and realizing all the horrible things he did kinda makes it hurt a little more. betrayal. he wanted a fuck. not a partner. not me ( Read more... )

lost my job today.... got dumped today. loser. this shit is bananas. i need to go away someplace very far from this death pit of a poser- ass- wanna- be- cali. i gotta stop dating little boys who cant handle relationships.

hawai'i rocks. a lot. i'm in luuuuv.... i'm going to move there... should be back at tony & guy by october, out by december. dunno what else to say