Many days ago, I bought the best book in the world. I am (literally) in Faggot Heaven.

Numerous days ago, I ate a sandwhich whilst unrinating.

Time saved: > 1 minute.

There is hope for the world. My Tom Daschle fan site is still up and running.

Several days ago, mum had her African-American friends over for dinner. The night before, she pulled out an early-nineties Kevin Bacon movie about black people, and said we should watch this movie when her Africans were over.

I thought she was joking.

She was not.

What an efficient waste removal system humans have!

I seem to have chanced upon a custom spinning 50-Cent Pendant. I am not an African-American.

Max The Pokemon Master sleeps on an air matress in the den, surrounded by Pokemon figurines.

One time I did not recieve my Christmas gifts until the following Easter.

1) Flashlight
2) Jumper Cables
3) Stale Candy

Today I saw an airplane in the sky and I laughed, because IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. Mum slapped me and told me that the Nazis invented the airplane.

Note to self: Avoid subject in the future.