Comments | metamorfic_moon: Glory by Gilpin25

gilpin25 in metamorfic_moon

Glory by Gilpin25

Jun 26, 2007 19:37

Title: Glory
Author: gilpin25
Rating & Warnings: PG
Prompts: Dance
Word Count: 1784
Summary: Sometimes a dance can be a series of intricate steps. Or sometimes it can be a lot more.
Author’s Notes: So due to far too much RL and a holiday, I was having a slight panic as to whether I could actually remember how to write. A good friend slapped me around and ( Read more... )

romance, last chance full moon showdown, gilpin25

Comments 33

lady_bracknell June 26 2007, 19:05:48 UTC

This is joyous. Just wonderful.

You've really captured what it feels like to be in love - the uncertainty and the little moments that take on unbelievable magnitude, how it feels like a secret, how you don't want to jinx it, how you've thought about it loads and still can't explain it. I really love the structure, too, how you've lead us down the garden path a bit, letting us belive things haven't gone well at the start - that was a really neat trick, and a lovely surprise.

I really loved this.

And the Nina version all the way, of course... ;)

gilpin25 June 28 2007, 19:22:23 UTC

I'm right chuffed you liked this so much. It started out life as Molly quizzing Tonks and a blurred stubble last line, but it seemed to desperately lack Remus and another 1500 words. And I don't need any excuse to get them to dance because it seems to fit with falling in love so well. It also seemed nice to give them a joyous moment in their fairly angsty lives so I'm very glad that's how it reads.

Thank you. You know I always appreciate it. And I was definitely thinking of Nina. ;)

mrstater June 26 2007, 19:46:49 UTC

Gah! LJ alerts let me down!! When did you post this??

What a lovely fic to read for an anniversary! Thank you so much, dear. Shall I slap you around for a drabble in September for my birthday? Or Saturday for Mr. Tater's? Or next week for the 4th of July? ;)

Really, I absolutely adore this. I love how you opened it with that deception, made me think something had gone all wrong with the "just a dance," only to turn that on its head and show that the dance had gone anything but wrong. The smiles, the not being able to look at each other...So what falling in love is like. I particularly like the detail of Remus looking more lined, and yet younger, up close. And then the lingering sighs of a kiss...Sigh. Really, really lovely.

Off to read it again. And again and a gain. ;)

gilpin25 June 28 2007, 19:42:47 UTC

Don't worry about the LJ alerts; I've only just had this review arrive in my email, though I could see it on the screen. Bizarre is the word.

I'd like to pretend I plan these things but it was sheer luck that this ended up being ready for your Anniversary - I got as confused as you when you said you thought it was Mr Tater's Birthday, but I woke up to see cae_prince had posted you an Anniversary message! Then it seemed apt with it being set around another one. It did start off as a drabble minus dancing and Remus but that seemed very ... short. And a bit dull. Besides, any excuse to get these two to dance, and I thought they deserved a romantic moment in amongst the Weasley's apparently stunning garden!

Bit disappointed you didn't notice my 'subtle' nod to Pink-Eyed Moony. ;)

Thank you. I really loved writing this so I owe you one for the slapping around. (Though not for this Saturday;))

mrstater June 28 2007, 19:50:36 UTC

Bit disappointed you didn't notice my 'subtle' nod to Pink-Eyed Moony. ;)

At first I read that "stubble" nod.

And what a bad Pink-Eye Moony shipper I am! I completely didn't think of that. LOL

godricgal June 26 2007, 20:32:43 UTC

Wow ( ... )

gilpin25 June 28 2007, 21:39:32 UTC

Can't tell you how thrilled I am you like it so much. It was very fortuitous that I ended up with the 'Dance' prompt as I don't need much of an excuse to get them on that floor ( ... )

cae_prince June 27 2007, 01:01:07 UTC

What a lovely lovely fic to wake up to. I settled down with a steaming mug of coffee when I started to read your fic, but I got so caught up with it that the coffee's all forgotten.

This was so absorbing, and I love how you've captured the right feel of two people realizing their feelings. Their intimacy in this piece is so palpable, and I love the way it draws the reader in. Kudos on that. You have a style of writing that stands out from any of the kind I've seen.

Her skirt brushes against narcissi while his shoulder touches first the spring leaves on a young, eager tree and then jasmine, loosening a shower of tiny white stars that float to the ground. The music follows them at a respectful distance. They don’t speak and this magic spell, that doesn’t involve wands or words, and which has been written for them alone, holds fast as they dance clumsily through the overgrown grass and into the dark shadows which are waiting for them at the far end. For some reason, this paragraph holds me transfixed. There's just something about it ( ... )

gilpin25 June 28 2007, 21:52:54 UTC

Apart from grateful thanks for such a lovely and thoughtful review, I owe you one for posting that "Happy Anniversary" message for me to see first thing. mrstater had managed to confuse me as to when it was (as well as herself, I think, lol) so when I saw it, it seemed very apt to post this on that day ( ... )

cae_prince June 29 2007, 01:39:29 UTC

That paragraph you quoted gave me a couple of nightmares. It was supposed to read like a spell over them, but I was a bit worried it was verging on being OTT.

You know sometimes I get so inarticulate that I can't express exactly what I wanted to say. But the reason that paragraph held me transfixed is because it reads like a spell, the very way you want it to. Its almost a magical statement.

As to mrstater's greeting, she didn't tell me until it was already 26th over here, LOL! Since I'm on this side of the globe, I either end up being the first to send wishes or receive wishes when the day is already over ;)

katyhasclogs June 27 2007, 08:11:53 UTC

I really liked how atmospheric you made this; it was rather hypnotic.

Definitely one for re-reading.

gilpin25 June 28 2007, 21:10:29 UTC

Hypnotic, eh? Well, I'm really pleased that's what you felt about it - it did start off as a 200 word drabble, minus dancing, Remus and much interest, lol - but I suppose, if I can say it without sounding very corny, that falling in love is as near to magic as you can get, and that though they might be dab hands at spells it must be just the same for witches and wizards. It's also so hard to pinpoint what's happening or explain, it just does, and that's what I was hoping to try and convey here. Without being corny. ;)

Thank you! Much appreciated. :)