Glory by Gilpin25

[gilpin25]

Title: Glory
Author: gilpin25
Rating & Warnings: PG
Prompts: Dance
Word Count: 1784
Summary: Sometimes a dance can be a series of intricate steps. Or sometimes it can be a lot more.
Author’s Notes: So due to far too much RL and a holiday, I was having a slight panic as to whether I could actually remember how to write. A good friend slapped me around and

Comments

[bway_love]

I love the detail about his eyes not resting until they find her in the crowd, and the little section with her "hidden dimple" and "I know" and the growing tension. And I liked the floaty feel to the whole piece and the use of a lot of imagery and poeticness but in such a way that it feels like a natural expression rather than weighty or superfluous.

[gilpin25]

Thank you very much! I was a bit worried this was going to end up falling between two stools - corny or unrealistic - so it's great to hear that you thought it didn't read that way. The 'Dance' prompt was what inspired this; I couldn't resist the idea of it reflecting what falling in love is like, something you can't explain, or control (that might just be the way I dance, of course;)), but it happens. And it was nice to give them a happy moment as I've given them a fair few angsty ones.

Thanks again for commenting. It's much appreciated. :)

[molly_coddles]

This reads like a dream. Very lovely, romantic and sigh-worthy. You've given it such a nice flow, it's a delight to read.
Great job turning a clumsy ankle-kicking encounter into a ficlet so full of grace.

Holidays must agree with you. ;)

[gilpin25]

Thank you for your kind words; I don't seem to write much like this (short, happy, angst-free;)) and it turned out to be a very enjoyable departure from the norm. I'm waiting for someone to say, "I thought the Weasley's garden was full of Gnomes and not a candidate for winning first place at the local flower show!" but so far I seem to be getting away with it. ;)

Thanks again for commenting. And holidays definitely do agree with me, it's just the coming back to reality bit that doesn't seem to, lol.

[phoenixfyre13]

*Sigh.*

This was so lovely. Absolutely beautiful, and such a great description of falling in love. I was particularly taken by the part where they keep glancing at one another, neither wanting to be caught looking at the other but, in a small way, wanting it more than anything, because that means the feelings are reciprocated. And this:

Because the secret of love is in her and about her and something inside her is saying that this is so very special, and so very easy to carelessly lose, that you really have to glory in it while you can.

Last lines are particularly powerful to me, because that one statement has to say so much about the story you've just told in 1500 words, and I must say this is one of my favorites. The secret of love is in her. Oh, that is so beautiful and expressive and powerful. Love it.

Your imagery was lovely, and your ability to harness inexpressable feelings into words exquisite. Well done, and this is definitely a re-reader! :D

[gilpin25]

Will you accept a metaphorical hug for loving the last line because they're so important to me, too, and I twiddled with it probably more than the rest of the fic put together? I had Because the secret of love is in her and about her and about twenty different variations on a theme after that before I got one I finally liked, lol.

And many thanks for such a lovely review. The Dance prompt just seemed to shout falling in love, and the 'magic' steps of that to me, but I wasn't sure I could convey it all - it's so apt that you used the phrase "small moments" because that's what it's like, isn't it? You can't quite put it into words, or explain it to someone else, but it happens all the same.

Thanks again; I really do appreciate you taking the time to comment and it's great to know you enjoyed it.

[anonymous]

I don't know, this looks a lot like prose to me. :) I guess that dry spell of yours ended in a monsoon, because this is really lovely. There are so many things to say, but I hope this makes sense:

You always seem to work in little details that are really adorable (e.g. silencing the cake with a knife).

Molly's character is really dead on with her wanting everyone else to be happy even when its her Anniversary.

You keep writing Remus like this and I think I'll turn into a boyfriend stealing assassin, whether Tonks is a fictional character or not! His reserved nature conflicts nicely with the very heated emotions at play. Its easy to see how he does have the energy to keep up with Tonks exterior, even if her doesn't always show it.

The atmosphere was a perfect balance of vague actions and very detailed emotions. It adds to the ethereal tone and makes the whole thing very captivating - especially the climax. Even though its separated from her memory, the passion is still there. Brilliant!

Hope the monsoon continues! :)

[gilpin25]

Now I know this is from ravnclw_lioness because it's been in my email for two days, but not on the screen, so ... LJ has obviously done something very strange indeed

[gilpin25]

Let's chuck them out together. I couldn't even get into my own fic this morning (someone's telling me something), but hopefully things are improving.

I love your hat icon with LoR - looks like you're laying down the western...lor/law? ;)

[lizetm]

I loved this, I really did!

I had this song called 'Dancing' by a singer named Elisa stuck in my head as I read.

It was sweet, and romantic, and I enjoyed reading about Tonks' silly, yet funny insecurities.

I almost wish there was a Remus POV, cuz I would love to know how he was copping with his nerves.

I also liked that you mentioned the night being very Cinderella like, cuz of Remus' need to get back to lonely Sirius.

Great job!

[gilpin25]

I'm so pleased you enjoyed it; it was great fun to write, and equally great that you thought of Dancing by Elisa, because the lyrics of that are pretty close to what I was hoping people would think about this. You do seem to be in a bubble just for two at these times, even when you're dancing in a crowd of people.

I almost wish there was a Remus POV, cuz I would love to know how he was copping with his nerves.

He was as bad as Tonks. Just much better at hiding it. ;)

Thanks very much for such a lovely review! :)