Comments | metamorfic_moon: The Writing on the Window

kerrymdb in metamorfic_moon

The Writing on the Window

Dec 22, 2006 20:53

Title: The Writing on the Window
Author: kerrymdb
Format: Fic
Rating & Warnings: R for sexual situations
Prompts: Forest and a snowman
Word Count: 3, 955
Summary: He doesn’t want this moment to end. Because when it does, there will be questions and demands for answers from both sides that neither are ready to answer nor ask.
Author’s Notes: I wrote ( Read more... )

kerrymdb, angst, christmas moon fic advent

Comments 35

anoipua December 23 2006, 06:11:50 UTC

Wow. This was heart breaking.
Tonks stares at her hands for a moment. Then she simply draws a circle on the window. The world.

“Everything,” she whispers.

I love this line, because, it is, isn't it? When one is in live, that is everything. Perfect.

Very well written.

Also, your carol? Hilarious.

anoipua December 23 2006, 06:13:00 UTC

and, uh...I can't type....that is supposed to say "in love." sorry.

kerrymdb December 23 2006, 20:17:04 UTC

Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I can't tell you how happy I am that you quoted that line. At first it was just going to be spoke, but I decided to add the imagery at the last minute.

I had fun with trying to figure out carols that Luna would know. Thank you for reading and commenting! :)

majorcarter_sg1 December 23 2006, 06:54:53 UTC

I liked how you brought in the Ford, nice touch. The writing on the fogged up windows was cute.
-Sam

kerrymdb December 23 2006, 20:19:39 UTC

I've always wondered what's happened to the Anglia. My guess was that it might be a bit lonely and thought it might sense that Tonks was lonely, too.

I'm really glad you liked the writing. That was a last minute addition that I wasn't sure about.

Thank you for commenting! :)

sugarannie December 23 2006, 09:41:28 UTC

I love the idea of the "writing on the window", and your song is simply adorable!
Great work :)

kerrymdb December 23 2006, 20:21:13 UTC

Thank you very much! Sometimes things just need to be said but people aren't sure how to say them. Writing them to each other seemed to be a compromise.

I had too much fun with the carol. Thank you for commenting! :)

devonwood December 24 2006, 02:00:46 UTC

The writing on the window was so sad and touching...just tugged at my heart. :) The only thing that pulled me a little out of the world you created was that the sex between them seemed very sudden. Maybe put in a few more longing glances or something before hand. Not everyone gets horny the second they sit in the back of a car. ;) :D

kerrymdb December 24 2006, 02:38:06 UTC

Now that I read the fic again, you, my dear devonwood, are absolutely right about the sex. I went and added a phrase here or there so that by the time they get to the car the act is inevitiable. (For them and the reader.)

I'm glad you enjoyed the foggy windows. I was going for full blown heart tug, so I'm glad that's how you felt.

Thank you for reading and especially for the concrit. I really do appreciate it! :)

kileaiya December 25 2006, 03:05:10 UTC

Oh the angst!

But she is still beautiful and still takes his breath away.

I love that line, it's perfect.

This was a great little fic, I like the fact that you had her helping Hagrid with a snowman. Very nice.

kerrymdb December 26 2006, 06:02:22 UTC

Oh the angst!
I thought we all needed a little angst to counter-act all the awesome happy fics that are on the site. :)

I'm so glad you liked that line! That was one of my favorites.

Thank you for reading and commenting! :)