Drabble: December by Gilpin25

[gilpin25]

Title: December
Author: gilpin25
Rating & Warnings: PG-13
Prompt: Everlasting Icicles
Format & Word Count: Drabble, 500 words
Summary: After Christmas at the Burrow, where else would Remus go? Set during HBP.
Author's Notes: If anyone's looking for a heavy dose of angst, then look no further. ;) If I can fit another one in, I'll make it extra fluffy!

Comments

[shimotsuki]

I was already cold before I read this, and you're not helping. ;)

In all seriousness, this is just beautiful -- elegant and carefully balanced language, both understated and vivid at the same time (just like a cold clear night), and the bitterness and longing come through so strongly.

I especially like the contrast of this: he wants to be cold. He wants to be chilled to the bone. [...] Ice doesn’t bend. Ice seals up pain and grief -- with this: But it’s so hard to move when you’re made of ice.

I also like the way you've ended it before we know what Remus is going to do -- will he give in to that little italicized voice of hope, even for a few minutes, and let himself thaw in the light and warmth? Or will he slip away without ever letting Tonks know that he was there? It could very easily tip either way.

[gilpin25]

Re the cold effect: I'm beginning to wish I'd gone for a sunny theme instead, since the recent weather here has made me appreciate exactly what I'm putting him through!

I think Remus has become adapt over the years at closing off or bottling up emotions as a way of coping, and so wanting to embrace the icy numbness, and avoid feeling such guilt and longing over Tonks, seemed to fit for this imaginary scene after what must have been quite a series of body blows for him at Christmas. But I also wanted to convey something of the bitterness we see in canon when he talks to Harry, and that it's very much against himself, for being a werewolf, which he must regard as the cause of so much misery. Yet he's probably acted exactly as a fearful man would...

Or will he slip away without ever letting Tonks know that he was there? It could very easily tip either way.

Neither Remus or the writer are sure of that one. ;)

Thank you very much for such thoughtful comments. I always appreciate them from you. :)

[more_ruthless]

Nice use of ice as metaphor. I especially like the bit that starts "because he wants to be cold..." Makes me cold just reading it!

[gilpin25]

Thank you very much for the nice comment! :) I like the idea that Remus has got used to bottling up emotions in order to cope with what's been a fairly traumatic life, and so wishing to feel icy cold and numb, in fact almost welcoming it, as a way of coping with pain and longing seemed to fit perfectly.

[freakinwinky]

This is possibly my favorite drabble of the event. It's really beautifully written and the imagery is exceptionally powerful. Great job!

[gilpin25]

Thanks very much for such a lovely comment! Especially as I know it's angst nearly all the way, and not exactly the jolliest of Christmas drabbles amongst some really excellent ones here. But I did enjoy writing it, and trying to get it the way I wanted, so it's very nice to hear you enjoyed reading it as well.:D

[katyscarlett76]

Oh wow this is such a powerful piece! It really packs a punch for a drabble, well done! The use of the prompt is inspired. I feel like an everlasting icicle just reading it! And it's really moving too, you just feel so much for Remus in that moment and just want to urge him to knock on the door, go in, get warm. It does really feel like it could go either way.

[gilpin25]

Thank you for the great comments! (And apologies for not helping any recovery from the big freeze here at all.;)) The prompt made me think of how Remus seems to avoid the most painful of emotional situations by detaching himself from them as best he can - the way he won't look directly at people, and how he avoids Tonks - which led into the idea of being so frozen inside that you avoid feeling anything at all. But, of course, it doesn't always work like that.

Glad you liked it!:D And no, I'm not sure if he knocked at the door or not...

[bookish_brownie]

This was heart-breaking, but in a good way. The last line is perfect.

[gilpin25]

Thank you for the kind words. I always think Christmas in HBP is so sad for both Remus and Tonks, and wonder if his apparent determination to stay away from her wavered after all he heard from Harry and Molly. The last line is me trying to show he still can't quite make himself leave, so I'm glad you liked that one.