Drabble: December by Gilpin25

[gilpin25]

Title: December
Author: gilpin25
Rating & Warnings: PG-13
Prompt: Everlasting Icicles
Format & Word Count: Drabble, 500 words
Summary: After Christmas at the Burrow, where else would Remus go? Set during HBP.
Author's Notes: If anyone's looking for a heavy dose of angst, then look no further. ;) If I can fit another one in, I'll make it extra fluffy!

Comments

[chococoffeekiss]

I was wondering which direction you would go with this prompt, and WOW. Angst, yes, but beautifully written angst that gave me the shivers (and I liked it XD).

Or she’ll shake it, to make it that way, and he’ll have to stand there and watch it break her. Though, somehow, this way, it feels as if he’s breaking her first.

I love how you put that line, especially. It describes R/T so perfectly and painfully, in so few words!

[gilpin25]

Thanks very much for the great comments! And for getting the shivers with it - I probably shouldn't say it was quite good fun wallowing in poor Remus' tortured mind at this point, but I always think he's a great one for the Catch 22 situation and, for so many past and present reasons, can't see his way out of it. As in, we've broken up for her own good (though neither of us wanted to) and, oddly enough, it's not done either of us any good whatsoever? ;)

Thank you.:D Especially for liking those lines as that part of the paragraph was just about my first idea for this.

[katyhasclogs]

*whimpers*

I suspect you have little idea of what an excellent writer you really are. This piece is clear proof of your skill - the use of the prompt is refreshingly metaphorical and imaginative, your sentances are beautiful, the different thematic levels are a delight to ponder, your characterisation is deep and complex and powerful, and the whole thing is incredibly, but subtley emotive.

I could quote the whole thing back at you, but I particularly loved:

Ice seals up pain and grief, and it holds fast a man who hates his body and distrusts his soul

and:

But it’s so hard to move when you’re made of ice. And when the lights still dance on so brightly within arm’s reach.

[gilpin25]

Oh, thank you! *blush* I'm very pleased that you like the writing in this because I wanted to try something a little different (which is probably why it took me about four times as long as the other drabble, lol), and then there's the worry of how it comes across. And I wanted to try something metaphorical with the prompt while imagining Remus' state of mind after Christmas at the Burrow. So you really did make my day (and night) reading a review like this as I know it's a pretty bleak read - but I also like to think there's hope in those lights, and that somewhere he knows that.

Thank you for such kind words. They're very much appreciated. :D

[carnivalgirl]

This is a wonderful short piece of angst, and it shows their relationship, especially the way Remus sees it, so perfectly. I really like some of the language you've used, like the ice metaphor, and the repetitions like 'The girl who was far too good for him, and also not much good for him' (that just sums it up so much) and the way she is both 'sensitive' and 'made of steel', that especially because she is emotional but at the same time she holds on and keeps going. Anyway, loads and loads of appreciation for this!

[gilpin25]

Many thanks for such nice and thoughtful comments. The ice metaphor fit with my thinking that Remus copes with grief and pain by bottling up his emotions, and he's certainly has plenty of practice at it in the past. So I thought he'd be desperate to feel icy cold and numb at this stage; in fact, positively welcome it so that he didn't have to feel pain and guilt any more. But obviously there's some things you simply can't block out. :(

I'm pleased you liked the repetitions in this as well: I was trying to show the Catch 22 effect of his thinking with the 'too good/not much good' line, and at the same time show why neither of them are doing too well while they're apart.

Thank you again, it's much appreciated!:D

[sspring92]

I always get so excited when I see your name on a Meta piece, and you never disappoint! You can absolutely feel is isolation and how desolate he must feel during this time. Thank you for another lovely story!

[gilpin25]

Aw, thanks very much for such a lovely comment! I'm glad you enjoyed it as I know it's not the cheeriest or easiest of reads, and you're always so supportive of all the entries here. :)

[drumher]

This just breaks my heart. Well done, as always.

[gilpin25]

Thank you! Sorry about the heart breaking, but I'm taking it as a mostly good thing, lol.