A New Feeling
Title: A New Feeling
Author: katyscarlett76
Rating: PG
Warning: Does extreme corniness need a warning?
Prompts: Enchanted snow and "But you know the thing about romance is people only get together right at the very end.” Love Actually
Word Count: 3,506
Summary: Tonks didn’t believe in love but would she recognise it when it presented itself to her? A fateful meeting with a certain Werewolf gave her the chance to find out.
Author’s Note: Loosely inspired by the film Serendipity and probably a million other romantic movies I’ve watched in my lifetime!
Many thanks to tegdoh for her quick beta job during this busy festive season!
A New Feeling
Nymphadora Tonks didn’t believe in love; as a newly qualified Auror she didn’t have time for romance and she liked it that way. She’d watched each of her friends lose their minds over men, formerly clever, talented witches throwing it all away to cook and clean and raise babies. Well, that was not the life for her. She’d wanted to be an Auror ever since she could remember and she was not going to give that up for anyone, especially some man. Sometimes she wondered whether she was missing something. When her friends went on about pulses racing and hearts fluttering, she knew she’d never felt like that and somehow didn’t expect to. It all seemed like too much fuss.
But she was unaware of what fate had in store for her one frosty Christmas Eve. She’d just finished her last minute shopping and was heading home to change before meeting her parents for Midnight Mass at Granny Tonks’ church. She’d taken a shortcut through the park, enjoying the snowy scene, grinning when she saw a tall man throwing snowballs for a large black dog. Too busy watching them and not looking where she was going she slipped on a patch of ice, falling down on her bum with nothing to do but start laughing hysterically. Then the man and dog ran over.
“Are you ok miss?” asked the man concernedly, “you haven’t hurt yourself have you?”
“No no” she laughed “I’m always doing that, bit clumsy. Should watch where I’m going.”
“Here let me help you up.”
He held out his hand and helped her up from the floor, and as she stood she looked directly into his bright blue eyes and somewhere inside butterflies took residence in her stomach. She attributed it to her embarrassment but it was certainly a feeling she’d never had before and she’d been embarrassed many times. He smiled down at her through shaggy brown hair falling in front of his eyes. She had the weirdest impulse to push the hair back, but she resisted because it wasn’t an impulse she usually had despite being in general an impulsive person. Shaking off the strange sensations, she thanked the man for his help.
“You’re welcome. What sort of gentleman would I be if I failed to help a lady in distress?”
Feeling flustered at his description of her as a lady, she felt her cheeks blush and dropped her gaze to her feet. She watched as the dog sniffed around her and then started licking her hand.
“Whatever are you doing Padfoot?”
She glanced up at the man to find him looking down at the dog with a puzzled expression on his face. The dog stopped licking her hand, looked up at his master and started barking. The man looked even more puzzled and looked back up at Tonks.
“I’m sorry; he’s not usually like this. I can’t think what’s got into him.”
He bent down and picked up a stick, throwing it away and instructing the dog to fetch. A smile spread across his face as he watched his barking pet race after the stick. Tonks couldn’t help but observe how the smile lit up his face and the butterflies in her stomach fluttered even further.
“It’s ok” she replied, “he reminds me a little of a dog I used to know when I was a small child.”
Tonks followed his gaze around the park and noticed for the first time that the park was remarkably snowy considering it had not yet snowed. After a brief silence as she reminisced about the dog she had known a long time ago, he lent forward and touched her hand.
“A penny for them?”
She looked up to find him watching her and smiled.
“I was just thinking that there’s a lot of snow on the ground and I don’t actually remember it snowing yet this year.”
He grinned mischievously.
“Padfoot and I do enjoy the snow and we may not be able to get out for a walk together in the next few days, so I....”
He gestured with his arm to as if to indicate conjuring and she smiled as she realised what he’d done.
“You mean this is enchanted snow? But this is a muggle park, isn’t that a breach of the Statute of Secrecy?”
He looked sheepish at that and then laughed. His laugh was croaky as if he didn’t do it often and she liked the sound of it.
“Good job there’s no Aurors around then!”
She bit her lip and looked down at her feet but was unable to keep the grin off her face.
“It’s good job this Auror’s off duty then!”
He looked even more sheepish at that, but then grinned down at her through his floppy fringe, his blue eyes gleaming.
“Can I tempt you with a bribe? May I buy you a hot chocolate? There’s a wonderful little cafe just around the corner.”
She found herself smiling in response.
“Include cream and marshmallows on that hot chocolate and I’ll see what I can do!”
Tonks found them a seat in the small, crowded cafe as the man queued up for their hot chocolates. She laughed to see his dog panting at the window, disgruntled at being left outside; he was obviously a much pampered pooch.
“Here you go. I hope this meets madam’s approval?”
She turned at the sound of his voice and found a large mug brimming with foam, cream and marshmallows.
“Yes” she grinned, “definitely the best bribe I ever took.”
They shared a laugh as he took of his coat and scarf and sat down. She took a moment to observe him, he was tall and thin, his long legs accentuated by faded jeans. His worn green jumper looked good on him. He pushed his jumper sleeves up revealing well-defined forearms and Tonks felt a little thrill inside. If she had more experience she might have recognised it as pure lust, but as it was she took it as a sign of a chill and pulled her cardigan further around her.
“You know”, he said as he took a sip of his hot chocolate and an expression of delight crossed his face, “I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced. I’m Remus, Remus Lupin.”
Remus offered her his hand and as she took it she felt the pulse in her wrist begin to race. Tonks again had the bizarre feeling that butterflies had taken residence in her stomach.
“I’m Tonks.”
“Tonks is an unusual name for such a pretty girl.”
Tonks felt herself blushing again.
“It’s actually my surname. No-one calls me by my first name, well except my mother.”
“Tonks is your surname?” He looked intrigued.
“Yes.”
He regarded her closely and then asked.
“Are you, by any chance, related to Andromeda Tonks?”
“Yes, she’s my mum.”
“Ah,” he said running his hand against his jaw thoughtfully, “then you must be Nymphadora?”
Instinctively she snapped. “Don’t call me Nymphadora!”
She clapped her hand over her mouth in horror as he laughed in response.
“I’m so sorry” she winced, “that’s so rude! I just don’t like that name, that’s all. It doesn’t sound like me.”
“On the contrary, I think it suits you. Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.”
Tonks smiled and laughed nervously. She wasn’t the kind of girl who was normally called beautiful and it unsettled her, but she was also pleased that he thought she was that kind of girl. It felt nice and also it caused those butterflies to flutter even more.
Feeling a little embarrassed at the attention, she changed the subject.
“So you know I’m an Auror, what do you do?”
“I’m .. ah ... a writer … a freelance writer. I guess you could say I’m researching at the moment, for a book.”
“Oh really, fiction?”
“No, ah ... more like a defence manual.”
“Really? So you’re a defence expert then?” she teased.
“I don’t claim to be an expert, but I’d like to think I have a certain level of expertise,” he smiled.
“Why didn’t you become an Auror then? If defence is your area of expertise?”
“Ah well,” he rubbed his jaw distractedly, “I have certain ... ah ... health issues that deterred me from applying and anyway I prefer writing and ... ah ... teaching.”
A look of pain crossed his face at the mention of teaching and even normally inquisitive Tonks felt she couldn’t pry so instead she changed the subject again.
“So what are you doing for Christmas?”
“Well, I am going to visit my mother in the morning, she will no doubt lament how skinny I am and probably spoil Padfoot horribly. She always was very fond of him.”
He looked pensive as he gazed out the window at his pet.
“I’m sure she’s just as fond of you.”
“Yes.” He turned back to look at Tonks and smiled, “of course she is. I didn’t mean to say that she isn’t. It’s just she hasn’t seen Padfoot in long time, because … of various things and ... well ... she’ll no doubt cook a great feast more than either of us can eat and send me home with enough leftovers to keep me going for weeks.”
Tonks smiled “My Mum’s just the same. Convinced I don’t feed myself properly. And she’s probably right” she stated ruefully.
“I’m sure successful Aurors don’t have much time to cook.”
“It’s less about time than inclination on my part. I’ve never really mastered any of those householdy spells.”
“You’ve had much better things to do with your time.”
Tonks could feel herself blushing again. It really was becoming ridiculous; she didn’t know what had come over her. She was sure she had not blushed her whole life as much as she had after an hour in this man’s presence. She took a large sip of her hot chocolate and then looked back up at Remus. A smile spread across his face and his eyes twinkled. Lost in them, it took her a moment to realise that he was laughing at her.
“What is it? What’s so funny?”
“Ah, you have a little...” he indicated his upper lip with his hand.
In realisation Tonks turned bright red and wiped her face with her hand.
“Is it gone now?” she asked.
“Yes.”
They each took another sip from their mugs and laughed as they both ended up with cream on their faces.
After a second cup of hot chocolate and more pleasant if stomach churning conversation, the cafe began to close. Tonks and Remus were the last to leave and they paused at the edge of the path. Neither of them wanting to say goodbye. For a few moments they stood smiling at each other, until the chiming of a distant church bell reminded Tonks of the time.
“I’m sorry. I have to go. I’m supposed to meet my parents at Midnight Mass and I need to go home and change first.”
She suddenly felt panicked that she couldn’t walk away, that she’d never see him again if she did. But she was expected by her parents and she’d never hear the last of it from her mother if she was late.
“We will see each other again won’t we?” she asked anxiously.
“I feel sure we will” he smiled.
She returned his smile and then leaned up and kissed his cheek.
“Thank you for the hot chocolate and the lovely evening.”
“Thank you for your company. It’s been a long time since I had the pleasure of the company of such a pretty woman.”
She blushed yet again, wished him a happy Christmas and began to walk away. Something urged her to look back and she turned to find him watching her. For some reason this pleased her greatly, and when he raised his hand in greeting she raised hers in answer and then continued on her way.
The next few days she found she couldn’t stop thinking of his smile and his laugh and remembering the shine in his eyes when he called her beautiful. If she had been more accustomed to romance she might have realised the feelings that had been stirring in her, but as it was she felt her pulse race and her stomach churn and thought she must be coming down with some illness. She did not attribute it to the memories of the man who had called her beautiful.
Soon work became busy and she had little time for thoughts of Remus; but he remained with her in her dreams. In her dreams they took walks in the park, his big black dog running beside them, which more and more resembled her old friend Snuffles. They talked and laughed and when she awoke she always felt a sense of contentment. She rarely had time to dwell on her dreams and she did not again encounter the man who inspired them, although she sometimes wondered what had happened to him. She didn’t believe in fate or anything like that but she couldn’t help but feel that the fact she had not run into him again meant something.
Six months later, the tragic end to the Triwizard Tournament and her subsequent disillusionment with the actions of the Ministry brought a happy surprise in the knowledge of the innocence of her once adored cousin, Sirius Black. Her first Order meeting at Grimmauld Place brought a further surprise, as stood beside her long lost cousin was the man that had haunted her dreams for months. The man she had begun to think she had entirely dreamt. As she met his eyes, he smiled at her.
“Nice to see you again Nymphadora.”
“Don’t call me Nymphadora!”
She blushed as he laughed and she realised that she had said it again. She also experienced again those butterflies in her stomach as he smiled down at her and a shiver down her spine as he ran his fingers through his hair.
“Well, shall we?” He gestured towards the stairs down to the kitchen.
She suddenly realised that she had been staring at him and, embarrassed, hurried down the stairs, turning her head slightly as she sensed him following behind her. When she reached the room there were only two spaces left, on opposite sides of the table. She felt somewhat disappointed at having to leave his side, but Bill Weasley seated on the other side of the table beckoned her over. Bill was an old friend from Hogwarts who she hadn’t seen in a while and she felt she couldn’t refuse. Casting Remus a regretful look she slipped round the table to sit by Bill. She thought that Remus looked a little disappointed too but she assumed that was just her imagination.
“Alright, Tonks” whispered Bill “Kingsley mentioned you were coming tonight. It’s great to see you.”
“Wotcher, Bill. It’s good to see you too,” she replied all the while keeping her eyes on the man seating himself in the seat across from her.
After the meeting, Bill kept her talking about old friends and plans to meet up for a night out next time Charlie was home. She agreed distractedly as she watched Remus and Sirius whispering and gesturing urgently to each other before making their way back upstairs. She bid a hasty farewell to Bill and hurried up the stairs after them, only to find they had disappeared once she got there. Kingsley then came out of the drawing room and they both had to leave for their Auror shift.
Things continued similarly for the next few weeks, with shared looks across Order meetings and brief, stolen conversations in between her Auror shifts and his mysterious work for the Order. It wasn’t until the night of the Advance Guard to retrieve Harry from Privet Drive that they were able to spend more than a few moments in each other’s company. As she stood next to him watching Harry at the top of the stairs she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as he teased her, about her name, in front of Harry and everyone! Back at Headquarters as they carried Harry’s trunk in together they exchanged banalities with their eyes communicating so much more. At least she thought they did, but before she could ask him what it all meant Molly ushered them down to the meeting. Later that night they managed to find a moment alone in the kitchen but before she could get round to saying anything meaningful, Sirius had stomped in grumbling about Molly treating him like a child, ransacking the pantry for alcoholic supplies and apparently settling in for the night. So she left. Looking back at Remus as she crossed the doorway, he gently nodded his head in acknowledgment before turning back to Sirius.
That was the last chance they got for private conversation for several weeks. They were partnered on Order missions on occasion and appeared to work well together. They also developed somewhat of a friendship based mainly around them both propping up Sirius whenever he drank too much. And if sometimes she caught something in Remus’ eye when he looked at her she generally dismissed it as a trick of the firelight. He appeared to take his cue from her and whilst friendly he was always reserved. And whilst she became accustomed to his company, she never grew accustomed to the feelings that stirred within her whenever he was around. Still denying to herself what he meant to her, she attributed the sensations to adrenaline or because she hadn’t eaten or some other reason.
Then on Christmas Eve as she finished her shopping, pretty pleased with the presents she’d selected for Harry and the Weasley kids, she remembered the encounter she’d had the previous Christmas Eve. Before she knew it her feet had taken her in the direction of the same park. As she walked, memories of the previous Christmas Eve and several incidents throughout the year flooded her mind and she was lost in thought. Until the barking of a dog drew her attention and the familiar black form of Padfoot bounded up, followed by Remus who smiled at her, giving her the now usual butterflies. As he stopped in front of her, smiling down, all the feelings she had tried hard to repress all year flooded through her and suddenly she knew what it meant. She loved him. It was useless to deny it and now she didn’t want to. She loved him. She looked up at him wondering how to tell him, how he would react and what would happen next.
“Nymphadora, it seems you’ve caught me yet again!”
“What?” she asked puzzled.
He gestured around with his arm and she followed with her eyes and gasped. As last year he had conjured snow for Padfoot to run in. She laughed as she watched her cousin in his animagus form pounding through the snow.
Remus whispered in her ear.
“Of course now you know I have more than one reason to avoid the Aurors, so can I tempt you with another bribe?”
She turned to find him still stood close behind her and her heartbeat sped up as she breathed in his scent.
“You can definitely buy my silence with one of those lovely hot chocolates!” she answered, smiling shyly.
They arrived at the cafe and Tonks slid into the same seats they had last year, Padfoot again watching them from the window. Although now she realised exactly why he appeared so put out by being left out in the cold. When Remus arrived with their drinks, instead of the happy conversation of the previous year there was an electric charge in the atmosphere, as if they both knew something had changed. They kept exchanging glances and then looking away smiling. They finished their drinks and as they left the cafe Remus’ hand clasped Tonks’ and she felt a thrill right through her.
They walked down the path to the point they had parted a year ago. They stopped and Remus turned to face her. She felt her breath hitch as he stepped closer, tenderly drawing his hand down her face. He tipped it up to him and brought his lips down onto hers for a soft kiss. They broke apart for a moment, both grinning inanely as they wrapped their arms around each other.
“I love you, Remus.”
His smile broadened as he tipped his head back towards hers and he was just a breath away from her lips when he replied.
“I’ve wanted to tell you for so long. I love you, Nymphadora.”
They both laughed at his use of her name and then Tonks felt the whole world melt away as they shared a more passionate kiss.
For the first time Tonks understood every love song ever written and just what her friends had been talking about.
She was in love with a wonderful man who loved her back and it felt amazing.
The End
Author: katyscarlett76
Rating: PG
Warning: Does extreme corniness need a warning?
Prompts: Enchanted snow and "But you know the thing about romance is people only get together right at the very end.” Love Actually
Word Count: 3,506
Summary: Tonks didn’t believe in love but would she recognise it when it presented itself to her? A fateful meeting with a certain Werewolf gave her the chance to find out.
Author’s Note: Loosely inspired by the film Serendipity and probably a million other romantic movies I’ve watched in my lifetime!
Many thanks to tegdoh for her quick beta job during this busy festive season!
A New Feeling
Nymphadora Tonks didn’t believe in love; as a newly qualified Auror she didn’t have time for romance and she liked it that way. She’d watched each of her friends lose their minds over men, formerly clever, talented witches throwing it all away to cook and clean and raise babies. Well, that was not the life for her. She’d wanted to be an Auror ever since she could remember and she was not going to give that up for anyone, especially some man. Sometimes she wondered whether she was missing something. When her friends went on about pulses racing and hearts fluttering, she knew she’d never felt like that and somehow didn’t expect to. It all seemed like too much fuss.
But she was unaware of what fate had in store for her one frosty Christmas Eve. She’d just finished her last minute shopping and was heading home to change before meeting her parents for Midnight Mass at Granny Tonks’ church. She’d taken a shortcut through the park, enjoying the snowy scene, grinning when she saw a tall man throwing snowballs for a large black dog. Too busy watching them and not looking where she was going she slipped on a patch of ice, falling down on her bum with nothing to do but start laughing hysterically. Then the man and dog ran over.
“Are you ok miss?” asked the man concernedly, “you haven’t hurt yourself have you?”
“No no” she laughed “I’m always doing that, bit clumsy. Should watch where I’m going.”
“Here let me help you up.”
He held out his hand and helped her up from the floor, and as she stood she looked directly into his bright blue eyes and somewhere inside butterflies took residence in her stomach. She attributed it to her embarrassment but it was certainly a feeling she’d never had before and she’d been embarrassed many times. He smiled down at her through shaggy brown hair falling in front of his eyes. She had the weirdest impulse to push the hair back, but she resisted because it wasn’t an impulse she usually had despite being in general an impulsive person. Shaking off the strange sensations, she thanked the man for his help.
“You’re welcome. What sort of gentleman would I be if I failed to help a lady in distress?”
Feeling flustered at his description of her as a lady, she felt her cheeks blush and dropped her gaze to her feet. She watched as the dog sniffed around her and then started licking her hand.
“Whatever are you doing Padfoot?”
She glanced up at the man to find him looking down at the dog with a puzzled expression on his face. The dog stopped licking her hand, looked up at his master and started barking. The man looked even more puzzled and looked back up at Tonks.
“I’m sorry; he’s not usually like this. I can’t think what’s got into him.”
He bent down and picked up a stick, throwing it away and instructing the dog to fetch. A smile spread across his face as he watched his barking pet race after the stick. Tonks couldn’t help but observe how the smile lit up his face and the butterflies in her stomach fluttered even further.
“It’s ok” she replied, “he reminds me a little of a dog I used to know when I was a small child.”
Tonks followed his gaze around the park and noticed for the first time that the park was remarkably snowy considering it had not yet snowed. After a brief silence as she reminisced about the dog she had known a long time ago, he lent forward and touched her hand.
“A penny for them?”
She looked up to find him watching her and smiled.
“I was just thinking that there’s a lot of snow on the ground and I don’t actually remember it snowing yet this year.”
He grinned mischievously.
“Padfoot and I do enjoy the snow and we may not be able to get out for a walk together in the next few days, so I....”
He gestured with his arm to as if to indicate conjuring and she smiled as she realised what he’d done.
“You mean this is enchanted snow? But this is a muggle park, isn’t that a breach of the Statute of Secrecy?”
He looked sheepish at that and then laughed. His laugh was croaky as if he didn’t do it often and she liked the sound of it.
“Good job there’s no Aurors around then!”
She bit her lip and looked down at her feet but was unable to keep the grin off her face.
“It’s good job this Auror’s off duty then!”
He looked even more sheepish at that, but then grinned down at her through his floppy fringe, his blue eyes gleaming.
“Can I tempt you with a bribe? May I buy you a hot chocolate? There’s a wonderful little cafe just around the corner.”
She found herself smiling in response.
“Include cream and marshmallows on that hot chocolate and I’ll see what I can do!”
Tonks found them a seat in the small, crowded cafe as the man queued up for their hot chocolates. She laughed to see his dog panting at the window, disgruntled at being left outside; he was obviously a much pampered pooch.
“Here you go. I hope this meets madam’s approval?”
She turned at the sound of his voice and found a large mug brimming with foam, cream and marshmallows.
“Yes” she grinned, “definitely the best bribe I ever took.”
They shared a laugh as he took of his coat and scarf and sat down. She took a moment to observe him, he was tall and thin, his long legs accentuated by faded jeans. His worn green jumper looked good on him. He pushed his jumper sleeves up revealing well-defined forearms and Tonks felt a little thrill inside. If she had more experience she might have recognised it as pure lust, but as it was she took it as a sign of a chill and pulled her cardigan further around her.
“You know”, he said as he took a sip of his hot chocolate and an expression of delight crossed his face, “I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced. I’m Remus, Remus Lupin.”
Remus offered her his hand and as she took it she felt the pulse in her wrist begin to race. Tonks again had the bizarre feeling that butterflies had taken residence in her stomach.
“I’m Tonks.”
“Tonks is an unusual name for such a pretty girl.”
Tonks felt herself blushing again.
“It’s actually my surname. No-one calls me by my first name, well except my mother.”
“Tonks is your surname?” He looked intrigued.
“Yes.”
He regarded her closely and then asked.
“Are you, by any chance, related to Andromeda Tonks?”
“Yes, she’s my mum.”
“Ah,” he said running his hand against his jaw thoughtfully, “then you must be Nymphadora?”
Instinctively she snapped. “Don’t call me Nymphadora!”
She clapped her hand over her mouth in horror as he laughed in response.
“I’m so sorry” she winced, “that’s so rude! I just don’t like that name, that’s all. It doesn’t sound like me.”
“On the contrary, I think it suits you. Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.”
Tonks smiled and laughed nervously. She wasn’t the kind of girl who was normally called beautiful and it unsettled her, but she was also pleased that he thought she was that kind of girl. It felt nice and also it caused those butterflies to flutter even more.
Feeling a little embarrassed at the attention, she changed the subject.
“So you know I’m an Auror, what do you do?”
“I’m .. ah ... a writer … a freelance writer. I guess you could say I’m researching at the moment, for a book.”
“Oh really, fiction?”
“No, ah ... more like a defence manual.”
“Really? So you’re a defence expert then?” she teased.
“I don’t claim to be an expert, but I’d like to think I have a certain level of expertise,” he smiled.
“Why didn’t you become an Auror then? If defence is your area of expertise?”
“Ah well,” he rubbed his jaw distractedly, “I have certain ... ah ... health issues that deterred me from applying and anyway I prefer writing and ... ah ... teaching.”
A look of pain crossed his face at the mention of teaching and even normally inquisitive Tonks felt she couldn’t pry so instead she changed the subject again.
“So what are you doing for Christmas?”
“Well, I am going to visit my mother in the morning, she will no doubt lament how skinny I am and probably spoil Padfoot horribly. She always was very fond of him.”
He looked pensive as he gazed out the window at his pet.
“I’m sure she’s just as fond of you.”
“Yes.” He turned back to look at Tonks and smiled, “of course she is. I didn’t mean to say that she isn’t. It’s just she hasn’t seen Padfoot in long time, because … of various things and ... well ... she’ll no doubt cook a great feast more than either of us can eat and send me home with enough leftovers to keep me going for weeks.”
Tonks smiled “My Mum’s just the same. Convinced I don’t feed myself properly. And she’s probably right” she stated ruefully.
“I’m sure successful Aurors don’t have much time to cook.”
“It’s less about time than inclination on my part. I’ve never really mastered any of those householdy spells.”
“You’ve had much better things to do with your time.”
Tonks could feel herself blushing again. It really was becoming ridiculous; she didn’t know what had come over her. She was sure she had not blushed her whole life as much as she had after an hour in this man’s presence. She took a large sip of her hot chocolate and then looked back up at Remus. A smile spread across his face and his eyes twinkled. Lost in them, it took her a moment to realise that he was laughing at her.
“What is it? What’s so funny?”
“Ah, you have a little...” he indicated his upper lip with his hand.
In realisation Tonks turned bright red and wiped her face with her hand.
“Is it gone now?” she asked.
“Yes.”
They each took another sip from their mugs and laughed as they both ended up with cream on their faces.
After a second cup of hot chocolate and more pleasant if stomach churning conversation, the cafe began to close. Tonks and Remus were the last to leave and they paused at the edge of the path. Neither of them wanting to say goodbye. For a few moments they stood smiling at each other, until the chiming of a distant church bell reminded Tonks of the time.
“I’m sorry. I have to go. I’m supposed to meet my parents at Midnight Mass and I need to go home and change first.”
She suddenly felt panicked that she couldn’t walk away, that she’d never see him again if she did. But she was expected by her parents and she’d never hear the last of it from her mother if she was late.
“We will see each other again won’t we?” she asked anxiously.
“I feel sure we will” he smiled.
She returned his smile and then leaned up and kissed his cheek.
“Thank you for the hot chocolate and the lovely evening.”
“Thank you for your company. It’s been a long time since I had the pleasure of the company of such a pretty woman.”
She blushed yet again, wished him a happy Christmas and began to walk away. Something urged her to look back and she turned to find him watching her. For some reason this pleased her greatly, and when he raised his hand in greeting she raised hers in answer and then continued on her way.
The next few days she found she couldn’t stop thinking of his smile and his laugh and remembering the shine in his eyes when he called her beautiful. If she had been more accustomed to romance she might have realised the feelings that had been stirring in her, but as it was she felt her pulse race and her stomach churn and thought she must be coming down with some illness. She did not attribute it to the memories of the man who had called her beautiful.
Soon work became busy and she had little time for thoughts of Remus; but he remained with her in her dreams. In her dreams they took walks in the park, his big black dog running beside them, which more and more resembled her old friend Snuffles. They talked and laughed and when she awoke she always felt a sense of contentment. She rarely had time to dwell on her dreams and she did not again encounter the man who inspired them, although she sometimes wondered what had happened to him. She didn’t believe in fate or anything like that but she couldn’t help but feel that the fact she had not run into him again meant something.
Six months later, the tragic end to the Triwizard Tournament and her subsequent disillusionment with the actions of the Ministry brought a happy surprise in the knowledge of the innocence of her once adored cousin, Sirius Black. Her first Order meeting at Grimmauld Place brought a further surprise, as stood beside her long lost cousin was the man that had haunted her dreams for months. The man she had begun to think she had entirely dreamt. As she met his eyes, he smiled at her.
“Nice to see you again Nymphadora.”
“Don’t call me Nymphadora!”
She blushed as he laughed and she realised that she had said it again. She also experienced again those butterflies in her stomach as he smiled down at her and a shiver down her spine as he ran his fingers through his hair.
“Well, shall we?” He gestured towards the stairs down to the kitchen.
She suddenly realised that she had been staring at him and, embarrassed, hurried down the stairs, turning her head slightly as she sensed him following behind her. When she reached the room there were only two spaces left, on opposite sides of the table. She felt somewhat disappointed at having to leave his side, but Bill Weasley seated on the other side of the table beckoned her over. Bill was an old friend from Hogwarts who she hadn’t seen in a while and she felt she couldn’t refuse. Casting Remus a regretful look she slipped round the table to sit by Bill. She thought that Remus looked a little disappointed too but she assumed that was just her imagination.
“Alright, Tonks” whispered Bill “Kingsley mentioned you were coming tonight. It’s great to see you.”
“Wotcher, Bill. It’s good to see you too,” she replied all the while keeping her eyes on the man seating himself in the seat across from her.
After the meeting, Bill kept her talking about old friends and plans to meet up for a night out next time Charlie was home. She agreed distractedly as she watched Remus and Sirius whispering and gesturing urgently to each other before making their way back upstairs. She bid a hasty farewell to Bill and hurried up the stairs after them, only to find they had disappeared once she got there. Kingsley then came out of the drawing room and they both had to leave for their Auror shift.
Things continued similarly for the next few weeks, with shared looks across Order meetings and brief, stolen conversations in between her Auror shifts and his mysterious work for the Order. It wasn’t until the night of the Advance Guard to retrieve Harry from Privet Drive that they were able to spend more than a few moments in each other’s company. As she stood next to him watching Harry at the top of the stairs she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as he teased her, about her name, in front of Harry and everyone! Back at Headquarters as they carried Harry’s trunk in together they exchanged banalities with their eyes communicating so much more. At least she thought they did, but before she could ask him what it all meant Molly ushered them down to the meeting. Later that night they managed to find a moment alone in the kitchen but before she could get round to saying anything meaningful, Sirius had stomped in grumbling about Molly treating him like a child, ransacking the pantry for alcoholic supplies and apparently settling in for the night. So she left. Looking back at Remus as she crossed the doorway, he gently nodded his head in acknowledgment before turning back to Sirius.
That was the last chance they got for private conversation for several weeks. They were partnered on Order missions on occasion and appeared to work well together. They also developed somewhat of a friendship based mainly around them both propping up Sirius whenever he drank too much. And if sometimes she caught something in Remus’ eye when he looked at her she generally dismissed it as a trick of the firelight. He appeared to take his cue from her and whilst friendly he was always reserved. And whilst she became accustomed to his company, she never grew accustomed to the feelings that stirred within her whenever he was around. Still denying to herself what he meant to her, she attributed the sensations to adrenaline or because she hadn’t eaten or some other reason.
Then on Christmas Eve as she finished her shopping, pretty pleased with the presents she’d selected for Harry and the Weasley kids, she remembered the encounter she’d had the previous Christmas Eve. Before she knew it her feet had taken her in the direction of the same park. As she walked, memories of the previous Christmas Eve and several incidents throughout the year flooded her mind and she was lost in thought. Until the barking of a dog drew her attention and the familiar black form of Padfoot bounded up, followed by Remus who smiled at her, giving her the now usual butterflies. As he stopped in front of her, smiling down, all the feelings she had tried hard to repress all year flooded through her and suddenly she knew what it meant. She loved him. It was useless to deny it and now she didn’t want to. She loved him. She looked up at him wondering how to tell him, how he would react and what would happen next.
“Nymphadora, it seems you’ve caught me yet again!”
“What?” she asked puzzled.
He gestured around with his arm and she followed with her eyes and gasped. As last year he had conjured snow for Padfoot to run in. She laughed as she watched her cousin in his animagus form pounding through the snow.
Remus whispered in her ear.
“Of course now you know I have more than one reason to avoid the Aurors, so can I tempt you with another bribe?”
She turned to find him still stood close behind her and her heartbeat sped up as she breathed in his scent.
“You can definitely buy my silence with one of those lovely hot chocolates!” she answered, smiling shyly.
They arrived at the cafe and Tonks slid into the same seats they had last year, Padfoot again watching them from the window. Although now she realised exactly why he appeared so put out by being left out in the cold. When Remus arrived with their drinks, instead of the happy conversation of the previous year there was an electric charge in the atmosphere, as if they both knew something had changed. They kept exchanging glances and then looking away smiling. They finished their drinks and as they left the cafe Remus’ hand clasped Tonks’ and she felt a thrill right through her.
They walked down the path to the point they had parted a year ago. They stopped and Remus turned to face her. She felt her breath hitch as he stepped closer, tenderly drawing his hand down her face. He tipped it up to him and brought his lips down onto hers for a soft kiss. They broke apart for a moment, both grinning inanely as they wrapped their arms around each other.
“I love you, Remus.”
His smile broadened as he tipped his head back towards hers and he was just a breath away from her lips when he replied.
“I’ve wanted to tell you for so long. I love you, Nymphadora.”
They both laughed at his use of her name and then Tonks felt the whole world melt away as they shared a more passionate kiss.
For the first time Tonks understood every love song ever written and just what her friends had been talking about.
She was in love with a wonderful man who loved her back and it felt amazing.
The End