LJ Idol, Week 31: Swan Song

[messygorgeous]

Jessie breathed a sigh of relief the day the "Sold" sign went up in the yard of her childhood home. She and Jaden had moved out weeks before, but now her mom and dad could join them in their new place and they could all start over together, finally put the horror of the last few months behind them.

She'd always been her daddy's favorite. It had

Comments

[i_17bingo]

I'm so glad Tom didn't get away with it. I was pretty concerned that that would happen, because I've read enough literature where that kind of thing does. Tom was a total douchebag, and it would have been one thing for him to have been a legal pain in the ass--which is what I was expecting--but it was quite another that he was a cold-blooded (almost) murderer.

It's a good that you wrote a thing that got me stressed out about that, as opposed to not caring what happened to them at all.

[messygorgeous]

I modeled Tom after the ex husband of one of my friends - not the murderous part, just the disdain and irresponsibility. I am not a gun owner, but I was really glad to learn the father wasn't even charged with anything. I can't imagine what that must have been like for him, to walk in and see his daughter shot in HIS basement, by someone he had invited into his home.

[bleodswean]

Not an easy house to sell, I bet! Great job using the house as inspiration - your added details were strong and the love of the family came through wonderfully.

[messygorgeous]

We have been looking for places up in that area and my husband was really excited to find that house - it's a great deal for the area - until he recalled the address. I can't imagine what it would be like to be unfamiliar with our town, purchase the place and THEN discover what transpired in the basement!

[marlawentmad]

The family dynamic is very heart warming. That gruesome scene in the middle really took us to a dark place! I am glad it was rounded out by the conclusion. My paranormal senses are tingling, though, and I can't help but worry about that pregnant woman.

[messygorgeous]

Good for you! I think there has to be some lingering bad juju in that basement. I know I would certainly not want to live in that house.

[marlawentmad]

I hope she can wrangle out the bad and replace it with the good that under other circumstances, could have been there in the first place.

[ryl]

A friend of mine once rented a house where something similar happened. It was the most haunted house he or I or anyone else who walked through the door had ever encountered. RUN LIZ!

[messygorgeous]

Chills! I believe it!
I certainly wouldn't want the place - I can't imagine what kinds of unsettled spirits are lingering in that basement!

[ryl]

Don't bring up the basement. There were things down there. O_o

[halfshellvenus]

Terrific dramatization of an actual event! God, what a worthless excuse for a human being. I didn't see whether the actual Tom was the same kind of useless crap as the story-Tom, but the combination of

Plus, he was sick of how Jess' parents got so damn involved in their lives. He wanted to be the man of the house. He was an adult for fuck's sake

rang so true. The world is just full of people who want to sit on their asses and do nothing, but god forbid you call them on it, because they are ADULTS, damn it! So back off on your expecting them to act like adults. Perfect detail there.

[messygorgeous]

Thank you!
I have known some men who were very much like Tom - not the murderous part, just the frustrated/frustrating man-boy persona. I have to wonder if there wasn't some kind of jealousy issue as well and then a little mental illness that led him to lose it on his girlfriend. Did you notice he had just gotten fired from his last job for carrying a gun to work? Something was up with him.