Jensen/Jared kink series, 2/8 - 'Not given lightly', NC-17.
.
Title: ‘Not given lightly’.
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: NC-17 for explicit m/m sexual activity. Discussion of D/s (Top!Jensen), but Jared takes charge this time...
Disclaimer: I own nothing and nobody, and I mean no offence.
Word count: ~2000
Summary: Jared contemplates his submission kink, and takes a hands-on approach to dealing with it. Includes angst, schmoop and shower sex - in that order.
This is the fourth story I’ve written, but it actually comes second in chronological order. It's set almost a month after Part 1: In my command. All you need to know is that Jared discovered his submissive side about two weeks into his relationship with Jensen.
As with the other parts to this story, this fic has some of my favourite songs as its soundtrack. They’re downloadable at the end.
~~~~~
Not given lightly
It was Sunday morning and Jared had taken the dogs for a run, something he liked doing on their days off. On his return, he’d settled himself by the living room window to read scripts for possible summer projects. He hadn’t really wanted to think about hiatus, though - the prospect of being separated from Jensen for weeks wasn’t appealing - and his mind had wandered after a while.
Jared was generally a pretty happy guy, but like everyone he was susceptible to moments of self-doubt and introspection. His life had undergone some major changes recently. He’d barely had a chance to sit back and think about the fact that he was now in a kinda kinky, secret relationship with his male co-star.
Discovering that he was submissive, only two weeks after starting his first gay relationship, had been one hell of a mindfuck. Accepting his feelings for Jensen had been hard enough, and he didn’t have a definite label for his identity yet. Jared couldn’t say he was gay; he had truly loved Sandy, and he still found girls appealing. He couldn’t even say for sure that he was bi, as Jensen was the only guy he’d ever been attracted to. All Jared knew for sure was that he was in love with Jensen. As for Jensen, well, he’d never asked Jared to define himself - all Jensen wanted was for Jared to want him.
Getting massively turned on by being dominated was actually a more serious blow to his identity, to his sense of masculinity, than the whole gay thing. Even worse, Jared suspected that he was a bit masochistic too. Being bitten and bruised by Jensen was surprisingly enjoyable, and he liked seeing the marks on his body after one of their sessions...marks of ownership, marks of dominance, marks of love.
What did it say about him, that he was willing to cede control, to beg, to come on command? Did it make him weak? Jensen didn’t think so; he’d told Jared that he was amazed by the strength, courage and willpower it took for Jared to submit to him. Jensen had said that he felt more respect for him now, not less. In fact, he’d been fantastic about the whole thing - never belittling Jared, and never making him feel ashamed. Jared actually wondered whether anyone else could have brought out this tendency in him. Maybe his submissiveness was a Jensen thing, like his homosexuality was a Jensen thing.
But the sense of embarrassment, of diminished masculinity, still lingered in Jared’s mind. It made Jared feel a little better to know that he could overpower Jensen at any time: he never felt physically threatened. And he knew instinctively that Jensen would stop - would turn on a dime, would give the whole idea up - if Jared ever asked. That was one advantage of doing this with Jensen, who had been his colleague and close friend for many months before becoming his lover. They could read each other so well by now that trust wasn’t an issue.
It also helped that he knew actors with far stronger and far weirder kinks. Perhaps it was something about show business that brought it out in people, Jared thought. If you had a pretty face and a hot body, and you were a lead on TV or in the movies, sex was available to you pretty much whenever, wherever. Aspiring starlets, industry hangers-on, and fawning fans all put themselves forward to cater to an actor’s needs. So it wasn’t surprising that some guys were driven to try increasingly kinky things, even depraved things, to get the thrill that was missing from meaningless encounters. Jared was positively vanilla by comparison...
~~~~
A sudden noise from Sadie, lying at his feet, brought Jared back to reality - she was chasing squirrels in her sleep, whimpering, her paws twitching. Smiling at the adorable sight, he checked his watch to find that he’d been sitting by the window for an hour. Script pages lay scattered around his chair, where they’d fallen from his lap, and a cold cup of coffee sat on the table beside him. The rest of the hotel suite was quiet, and Jared wondered where Jensen was.
He wandered into the bedroom and found Jensen still asleep, curled up on his side facing the door. Jensen had gotten home very late last night after a trip down to LA to meet with his agent, and had staggered straight to bed. Jensen looked so vulnerable and young when he was asleep, and Jared felt overwhelmingly tender and protective towards him. Instead of angsting over it, though, he embraced his inner sappiness. This was love, after all, and he hoped he would keep feeling this way about Jensen for years to come.
Jared returned to the kitchen to brew a fresh pot of coffee - he knew Jensen needed it first thing in the morning, even if ‘first thing’ was (he checked his watch) almost midday. Fixing Jensen’s the way he liked it, he walked back to the bedroom. He set the coffee down on the bedside table and curled up behind his partner, wrapping long limbs around him so that Jensen would wake in his warm embrace.
Jared laid kisses on the back of Jensen’s neck as he waited for consciousness to hit: Jensen always woke up slowly. Jensen stirred, mumbling nonsensically and rubbing his eyes. Jared ran his hand over Jensen’s chest in soothing strokes, and whispered ‘Good morning’ in his ear. ‘Mhrrrmmm’, Jensen replied as he stretched, his finely muscled body rubbing enticingly against Jared’s. But Jared ignored his own growing erection; this moment was about intimacy, rather than sex. There was one benefit of having a kinky sex life, he thought wryly - fighting off his orgasm so he could come on command meant he was getting good at controlling his cock!
Jared could tell the exact moment when Jensen woke up and smelt the coffee: his eyes opened, and he turned his head to look at Jared for the first time. ‘My hero’, he said, fluttering his eyelashes. ‘I knew there was a good reason to fall in love with a morning person...coffee in bed!’
Jared laughed - somehow Jensen always knew what to say to cheer him up - and passed Jensen’s cup over to him. They sat up against the headboard, Jensen savoring the coffee and Jared savoring the closeness. Jensen had only been gone for a couple of days, but Jared had missed him. He really didn’t know how he was going to manage over their summer break, and he was putting off asking Jensen whether he’d finalized a hiatus project while in LA.
That conversation could wait. Right now, he needed a shower, and he needed Jensen: some kind of combo deal was clearly in order. So he waited till Jensen had finished his coffee - then stood up, stripped off his running clothes, and nonchalantly wandered towards the bathroom, calling ‘You coming?’ over his shoulder. Jensen was pretty fast on the uptake, even when still slightly sleepy; he followed Jared obediently, shedding his boxers as he went.
~~~~
Jared stood beside the shower, stretching out the kinks in his back while waiting for the water to heat up. Jensen stood beside the door, watching appreciatively as the muscles shifted under Jared’s skin. Jared felt that hot gaze on his body almost like a touch - and God, he was done waiting for the real thing.
He moved over to Jensen and ran his fingertips down his bare chest before leaning in to kiss him. This was the point in proceedings where Jensen might take control. But Jared was still feeling a little uneasy after his earlier musings, and he really didn’t want Jensen to launch into one of their power exchange sessions right now. So he took the initiative himself, pressing Jensen up against the bathroom wall and kissing him hard. To his relief, Jensen responded instantly, kissing him back with equal intensity and bringing his hands up to grip Jared’s hips firmly. Jensen seemed to understand what Jared wanted, though, and he made no move to take charge.
Jared led Jensen into the shower where they both enjoyed the hot water for a minute, their minds and bodies rapidly waking up as they continued to kiss. Jared then reached for the soap and began to wash Jensen all over, running his hands everywhere except his cock (Jared figured it was Jensen’s turn to wait patiently for the stimulation he most wanted). Jensen stood still, totally relaxed, as Jared manhandled him - letting Jared raise each arm and smooth the body wash over his wet skin, gasping as Jared pulled at his nipples, and murmuring with pleasure as Jared massaged his shoulders.
In the shower they usually went for blowjobs or mutual masturbation, but Jared wanted to do something different this time. He leaned back on the shower wall, pulling Jensen right up against him and wrapping his arms around him. Jensen’s back was flush against Jared’s chest and belly, and his ass provided delicious pressure for Jared’s erection.
Jared covered his hands with body wash, then reached down to finally take Jensen’s cock in his right hand. Jensen breathed out ‘Yes, Jared, fuck,’ as Jared began to jack him off, and tipped his head back so it rested on Jared’s shoulder. This angle gave Jared perfect access to his neck, and he took advantage by laying a trail of kisses from Jensen’s collarbone up to his ear.
Jared reached down with his other hand to caress Jensen’s balls, reveling in his sharp intake of breath. He then went exploring, running his fingertips through Jensen’s pubic hair, up his treasure trail, over his hip and around to his ass. He cupped Jensen’s firm ass cheek in his huge hand, squeezing briefly, then positioned himself so that his cock was riding up against the soap-slicked skin.
Jared wrapped his left arm around Jensen’s waist, holding him steady and holding him close. Jensen was breathing heavily, all his weight against Jared, his hands fisted at his sides, his eyes shut. Jared sped up his hand movements, knowing from the shudders running through Jensen’s body that he was close to orgasm. Jared wasn’t far behind, still grinding his erection against Jensen’s ass. Jared had a great view of Jensen’s body from this position; his golden skin, his beautifully sculpted pecs and abs, his hard cock with Jared’s own hand working the shaft and thumbing over the head on the upstroke.
Sensing that Jensen might need something extra to push him over the edge, Jared bent his head down to whisper in Jensen’s ear, ‘Damn, you look hot like this, Jen! Feel so good pressed up against me - can’t you feel how hard I am for you? Want to see you come...I’ve got you, just let go...’ Jared ran out of words, and bit at Jensen’s earlobe instead. He heard Jensen’s deep groan, felt his body shaking, watched his come spill over Jared’s hand. He pressed his cheek against Jensen’s, wanting to be close to him as possible; God, he loved making Jensen lose control.
Jared had lost his own rhythm, focused on Jensen’s pleasure, but watching his lover come had made him desperate to follow. Releasing Jensen’s softening cock, Jared put both hands on Jensen’s hips and pulled him even more tightly against his own body. Jensen had recovered enough to move at last; he reached his left hand back to cup Jared’s ass, increasing the pressure on his erection trapped between them, and raised his right hand to pull Jared’s head down for a savage kiss. Jensen bit Jared’s lower lip, and that was the tipping point...Jared moaned into Jensen’s mouth as he came all over Jensen’s ass.
Jared’s legs were trembling, and he was grateful that the wall was holding them both up. After a minute, Jensen moved them both forward so they were standing directly under the stream of hot water. He lifted his face to Jared’s and kissed him again, gentler and sweeter this time. ‘Good morning to you too, Jay’, he said with a smile. Then he reached for the soap and started washing Jared in turn.
~~~~
End.
Part 3: Not given lightly
===============================================================================================
As usual, the title is taken from one of my favourite New Zealand songs. Chris Knox is another Kiwi legend and this is his quintessential love song:
Chris Knox - Not given lightly
Hello my friend
It's morning, time to wake now
Your body and mine entwined will have to break now
I want your flesh, your warmth to stay beside me
Oh, how I wish you could be deep inside me...
'cause it's you that I love
and it's true that I love
It's love not given lightly
As I've just returned to Oxford, my second home, I’ve included a couple of tracks from local bands. One Oxford group I love is Unbelievable Truth, whose lead singer Andy is the brother of Thom Yorke from Radiohead. I can upload more songs if anyone’s interested, but this one had just the right lyrics:
Unbelievable Truth - Advice to a lover
And always remember
That it pays to lose control
Relax for a moment
Let the turbulence take hold
Oxford’s most famous musical sons are Radiohead, but they’re not known for their romantic lyrics! So I’ve included one song from The Bends that I adore beyond all reason:
Radiohead - Black Star
Title: ‘Not given lightly’.
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: NC-17 for explicit m/m sexual activity. Discussion of D/s (Top!Jensen), but Jared takes charge this time...
Disclaimer: I own nothing and nobody, and I mean no offence.
Word count: ~2000
Summary: Jared contemplates his submission kink, and takes a hands-on approach to dealing with it. Includes angst, schmoop and shower sex - in that order.
This is the fourth story I’ve written, but it actually comes second in chronological order. It's set almost a month after Part 1: In my command. All you need to know is that Jared discovered his submissive side about two weeks into his relationship with Jensen.
As with the other parts to this story, this fic has some of my favourite songs as its soundtrack. They’re downloadable at the end.
~~~~~
Not given lightly
It was Sunday morning and Jared had taken the dogs for a run, something he liked doing on their days off. On his return, he’d settled himself by the living room window to read scripts for possible summer projects. He hadn’t really wanted to think about hiatus, though - the prospect of being separated from Jensen for weeks wasn’t appealing - and his mind had wandered after a while.
Jared was generally a pretty happy guy, but like everyone he was susceptible to moments of self-doubt and introspection. His life had undergone some major changes recently. He’d barely had a chance to sit back and think about the fact that he was now in a kinda kinky, secret relationship with his male co-star.
Discovering that he was submissive, only two weeks after starting his first gay relationship, had been one hell of a mindfuck. Accepting his feelings for Jensen had been hard enough, and he didn’t have a definite label for his identity yet. Jared couldn’t say he was gay; he had truly loved Sandy, and he still found girls appealing. He couldn’t even say for sure that he was bi, as Jensen was the only guy he’d ever been attracted to. All Jared knew for sure was that he was in love with Jensen. As for Jensen, well, he’d never asked Jared to define himself - all Jensen wanted was for Jared to want him.
Getting massively turned on by being dominated was actually a more serious blow to his identity, to his sense of masculinity, than the whole gay thing. Even worse, Jared suspected that he was a bit masochistic too. Being bitten and bruised by Jensen was surprisingly enjoyable, and he liked seeing the marks on his body after one of their sessions...marks of ownership, marks of dominance, marks of love.
What did it say about him, that he was willing to cede control, to beg, to come on command? Did it make him weak? Jensen didn’t think so; he’d told Jared that he was amazed by the strength, courage and willpower it took for Jared to submit to him. Jensen had said that he felt more respect for him now, not less. In fact, he’d been fantastic about the whole thing - never belittling Jared, and never making him feel ashamed. Jared actually wondered whether anyone else could have brought out this tendency in him. Maybe his submissiveness was a Jensen thing, like his homosexuality was a Jensen thing.
But the sense of embarrassment, of diminished masculinity, still lingered in Jared’s mind. It made Jared feel a little better to know that he could overpower Jensen at any time: he never felt physically threatened. And he knew instinctively that Jensen would stop - would turn on a dime, would give the whole idea up - if Jared ever asked. That was one advantage of doing this with Jensen, who had been his colleague and close friend for many months before becoming his lover. They could read each other so well by now that trust wasn’t an issue.
It also helped that he knew actors with far stronger and far weirder kinks. Perhaps it was something about show business that brought it out in people, Jared thought. If you had a pretty face and a hot body, and you were a lead on TV or in the movies, sex was available to you pretty much whenever, wherever. Aspiring starlets, industry hangers-on, and fawning fans all put themselves forward to cater to an actor’s needs. So it wasn’t surprising that some guys were driven to try increasingly kinky things, even depraved things, to get the thrill that was missing from meaningless encounters. Jared was positively vanilla by comparison...
~~~~
A sudden noise from Sadie, lying at his feet, brought Jared back to reality - she was chasing squirrels in her sleep, whimpering, her paws twitching. Smiling at the adorable sight, he checked his watch to find that he’d been sitting by the window for an hour. Script pages lay scattered around his chair, where they’d fallen from his lap, and a cold cup of coffee sat on the table beside him. The rest of the hotel suite was quiet, and Jared wondered where Jensen was.
He wandered into the bedroom and found Jensen still asleep, curled up on his side facing the door. Jensen had gotten home very late last night after a trip down to LA to meet with his agent, and had staggered straight to bed. Jensen looked so vulnerable and young when he was asleep, and Jared felt overwhelmingly tender and protective towards him. Instead of angsting over it, though, he embraced his inner sappiness. This was love, after all, and he hoped he would keep feeling this way about Jensen for years to come.
Jared returned to the kitchen to brew a fresh pot of coffee - he knew Jensen needed it first thing in the morning, even if ‘first thing’ was (he checked his watch) almost midday. Fixing Jensen’s the way he liked it, he walked back to the bedroom. He set the coffee down on the bedside table and curled up behind his partner, wrapping long limbs around him so that Jensen would wake in his warm embrace.
Jared laid kisses on the back of Jensen’s neck as he waited for consciousness to hit: Jensen always woke up slowly. Jensen stirred, mumbling nonsensically and rubbing his eyes. Jared ran his hand over Jensen’s chest in soothing strokes, and whispered ‘Good morning’ in his ear. ‘Mhrrrmmm’, Jensen replied as he stretched, his finely muscled body rubbing enticingly against Jared’s. But Jared ignored his own growing erection; this moment was about intimacy, rather than sex. There was one benefit of having a kinky sex life, he thought wryly - fighting off his orgasm so he could come on command meant he was getting good at controlling his cock!
Jared could tell the exact moment when Jensen woke up and smelt the coffee: his eyes opened, and he turned his head to look at Jared for the first time. ‘My hero’, he said, fluttering his eyelashes. ‘I knew there was a good reason to fall in love with a morning person...coffee in bed!’
Jared laughed - somehow Jensen always knew what to say to cheer him up - and passed Jensen’s cup over to him. They sat up against the headboard, Jensen savoring the coffee and Jared savoring the closeness. Jensen had only been gone for a couple of days, but Jared had missed him. He really didn’t know how he was going to manage over their summer break, and he was putting off asking Jensen whether he’d finalized a hiatus project while in LA.
That conversation could wait. Right now, he needed a shower, and he needed Jensen: some kind of combo deal was clearly in order. So he waited till Jensen had finished his coffee - then stood up, stripped off his running clothes, and nonchalantly wandered towards the bathroom, calling ‘You coming?’ over his shoulder. Jensen was pretty fast on the uptake, even when still slightly sleepy; he followed Jared obediently, shedding his boxers as he went.
~~~~
Jared stood beside the shower, stretching out the kinks in his back while waiting for the water to heat up. Jensen stood beside the door, watching appreciatively as the muscles shifted under Jared’s skin. Jared felt that hot gaze on his body almost like a touch - and God, he was done waiting for the real thing.
He moved over to Jensen and ran his fingertips down his bare chest before leaning in to kiss him. This was the point in proceedings where Jensen might take control. But Jared was still feeling a little uneasy after his earlier musings, and he really didn’t want Jensen to launch into one of their power exchange sessions right now. So he took the initiative himself, pressing Jensen up against the bathroom wall and kissing him hard. To his relief, Jensen responded instantly, kissing him back with equal intensity and bringing his hands up to grip Jared’s hips firmly. Jensen seemed to understand what Jared wanted, though, and he made no move to take charge.
Jared led Jensen into the shower where they both enjoyed the hot water for a minute, their minds and bodies rapidly waking up as they continued to kiss. Jared then reached for the soap and began to wash Jensen all over, running his hands everywhere except his cock (Jared figured it was Jensen’s turn to wait patiently for the stimulation he most wanted). Jensen stood still, totally relaxed, as Jared manhandled him - letting Jared raise each arm and smooth the body wash over his wet skin, gasping as Jared pulled at his nipples, and murmuring with pleasure as Jared massaged his shoulders.
In the shower they usually went for blowjobs or mutual masturbation, but Jared wanted to do something different this time. He leaned back on the shower wall, pulling Jensen right up against him and wrapping his arms around him. Jensen’s back was flush against Jared’s chest and belly, and his ass provided delicious pressure for Jared’s erection.
Jared covered his hands with body wash, then reached down to finally take Jensen’s cock in his right hand. Jensen breathed out ‘Yes, Jared, fuck,’ as Jared began to jack him off, and tipped his head back so it rested on Jared’s shoulder. This angle gave Jared perfect access to his neck, and he took advantage by laying a trail of kisses from Jensen’s collarbone up to his ear.
Jared reached down with his other hand to caress Jensen’s balls, reveling in his sharp intake of breath. He then went exploring, running his fingertips through Jensen’s pubic hair, up his treasure trail, over his hip and around to his ass. He cupped Jensen’s firm ass cheek in his huge hand, squeezing briefly, then positioned himself so that his cock was riding up against the soap-slicked skin.
Jared wrapped his left arm around Jensen’s waist, holding him steady and holding him close. Jensen was breathing heavily, all his weight against Jared, his hands fisted at his sides, his eyes shut. Jared sped up his hand movements, knowing from the shudders running through Jensen’s body that he was close to orgasm. Jared wasn’t far behind, still grinding his erection against Jensen’s ass. Jared had a great view of Jensen’s body from this position; his golden skin, his beautifully sculpted pecs and abs, his hard cock with Jared’s own hand working the shaft and thumbing over the head on the upstroke.
Sensing that Jensen might need something extra to push him over the edge, Jared bent his head down to whisper in Jensen’s ear, ‘Damn, you look hot like this, Jen! Feel so good pressed up against me - can’t you feel how hard I am for you? Want to see you come...I’ve got you, just let go...’ Jared ran out of words, and bit at Jensen’s earlobe instead. He heard Jensen’s deep groan, felt his body shaking, watched his come spill over Jared’s hand. He pressed his cheek against Jensen’s, wanting to be close to him as possible; God, he loved making Jensen lose control.
Jared had lost his own rhythm, focused on Jensen’s pleasure, but watching his lover come had made him desperate to follow. Releasing Jensen’s softening cock, Jared put both hands on Jensen’s hips and pulled him even more tightly against his own body. Jensen had recovered enough to move at last; he reached his left hand back to cup Jared’s ass, increasing the pressure on his erection trapped between them, and raised his right hand to pull Jared’s head down for a savage kiss. Jensen bit Jared’s lower lip, and that was the tipping point...Jared moaned into Jensen’s mouth as he came all over Jensen’s ass.
Jared’s legs were trembling, and he was grateful that the wall was holding them both up. After a minute, Jensen moved them both forward so they were standing directly under the stream of hot water. He lifted his face to Jared’s and kissed him again, gentler and sweeter this time. ‘Good morning to you too, Jay’, he said with a smile. Then he reached for the soap and started washing Jared in turn.
~~~~
End.
Part 3: Not given lightly
===============================================================================================
As usual, the title is taken from one of my favourite New Zealand songs. Chris Knox is another Kiwi legend and this is his quintessential love song:
Chris Knox - Not given lightly
Hello my friend
It's morning, time to wake now
Your body and mine entwined will have to break now
I want your flesh, your warmth to stay beside me
Oh, how I wish you could be deep inside me...
'cause it's you that I love
and it's true that I love
It's love not given lightly
As I've just returned to Oxford, my second home, I’ve included a couple of tracks from local bands. One Oxford group I love is Unbelievable Truth, whose lead singer Andy is the brother of Thom Yorke from Radiohead. I can upload more songs if anyone’s interested, but this one had just the right lyrics:
Unbelievable Truth - Advice to a lover
And always remember
That it pays to lose control
Relax for a moment
Let the turbulence take hold
Oxford’s most famous musical sons are Radiohead, but they’re not known for their romantic lyrics! So I’ve included one song from The Bends that I adore beyond all reason:
Radiohead - Black Star