I'm 13 pages in and ready to surrender.

[meresy]

Dudes, Twilight is like a bad high school AU of... something else bad.

Comments

[zabira]

it's a HS AU of EPIC MOTHERFUCKING FAIL, that's what. *recycles it*

[meresy]

I have a pdf, so at least it hasn't killed a tree in this case. A few braincells, maybe...

[zabira]

*deletes all copies?*

HEE.

oh, twilight. *head desk*

(edit for iconage.)

[meresy]

You should have edited for SPARKLES!

[malnpudl]

And it gets worse! And worse! And worse! And WORSE!

By the time I finally slogged through to the end, I was almost GLEEFUL over how phenomenally, appallingly, inconceivably HORRIBLE it was.

[meresy]

/m\

[malnpudl]

I had to read the first book -- the bare minimum I could get away with -- because my LF(E)N kids are ass over teacup into the series. They and their dad even went on an auto pilgrimage to Forks, WA to see all the places mentioned in the books. O_O

Oy.

The things we do for love.

[inathunderstorm]

OMG, it's terrible, dude.

[meresy]

I think that it is, yes!

[nota_faerietale]

And as has been said, it doesn't get any better.

I'm a supporter of it because I can name six children - my own included - that have become addicted to reading because of it - but that's what it's done for the children and not the books themselves.

[meresy]

Yeah, I suppose it's all right as a stepping stone to better taste... (or, one hopes to better taste because... oy.) I probably would have ate it up as a kid, too.

[nota_faerietale]

It seems to be, at least for my kid. She's ready a good half dozen books in the couple of months since she started Twilight, moving onto Francesca Lia Block's Weetzie Bat series and Coraline.

[mrs_laugh_track]

Dude I know. I'm pretty sure I sent _unhurt_ an angry email for every single page I finished. Also, seriously how much of a dick is Bella? I kept hoping there was going to be an interactive chapter where I could maybe punch her.

[meresy]

Seriously, could she be more pretentious and yet have LESS of a personality? Because I am not seeing it. All the best hallmarks of a Mary Sue, anyway -- the author doesn't HAVE to characterise her, she IS her, and now a legion of unquestioning girls can just layer themselves right on top of it because omg Bella is so like me!

I prefer the Bella I was hanging out with this weekend -- she's an elderly Basset hound.

[malnpudl]

Actually, what worries me more is how many teenage girls are imprinting on Edward.

A guy who is sneering, supercilious, condescending, and has a habit of picking up his "girlfriend" and carrying her around like a sack of potatoes... or an infant, something helpless and powerless... at ever possible opportunity.

So not a good model.

[meresy]

Srsly.

Mary Sue subsumes identity and swoons into arms of stalkery, sparkly vampire. Excellent.