Fic: Staring
Title: Staring
Author: hazel170
Pairing: Meredith/Addison
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Shondra owns them I’m just messing with them a little.
Summery: Addison can’t seem to keep her eyes off of Meredith Grey. (AU-Meredith does not take Derek back after the break)
Meredith Grey was not the most beautiful intern, that was Izzie Stevens. She wasn’t the smartest, because Christina Yang would beat her hands down. She wasn’t the most empathetic, George O’Malley with his sweet demeanor and big eyes was. She wasn’t even that sure of herself, while Alex Karev seemed to think he was God’s gift to surgery. Really Meredith wasn’t much of anything.
So why did Addison find herself once again watching her across the hospital cafeteria? It was true that this was the intern that had stolen her husband away from her, but was there any reason to watch her all the time? It had started when she and Derek had finally broke things off. Or maybe it had started before that, because Addison had already known that Meredith liked to play with the sleeves of her shirt and that she always had too much tension in her shoulders.
Sometimes it was hard to see what Derek had liked about her. She was too thin and not really that pretty. She was often tactless and had a tendency to put her foot in her mouth. Every emotion spilled out of her as it happened, she couldn’t seem to shield herself. Sometimes when Addison was feeling charitable, she worried about Meredith. Derek could so easily hurt her, she was so fragile. Derek was often clumsy with things that could be broken.
Meredith was almost the opposite of what Addison personified. Maybe that was why Derek had been attracted to her in the first place.
Or maybe it was the way that, when she did that little half smile, she pulled you into this little bubble that made everything seem special again. Maybe it was her loyalty. For all her faults no one could say Meredith Grey was not loyal. Maybe it was the gray blue eyes that looked remarkably like the color of the water under the ferryboats. (Addison did not miss the irony here) Or the way her voice rasped a little in a way that reminded you of a warm scratchy wool blanket.
Suddenly Addison is trying to figure out if she’s suddenly gone insane because she really hadn’t meant to start romanticizing her adulterous husband’s mistress.
Seeing her eat with Yang, O’Malley, and the newly returned (and greatly missed) Stevens, Meredith looks like a normal person. You can’t see the emotional mess inside. Addison knows it’s there though; she always seems to be around to see the best and the worst.
She had heard Meredith beg Derek to choose her from behind a door. She had overheard a conversation with Stevens about how she broke George. She had been there when Mr. Grey and his wonderful new family had come to the hospital and Meredith managed to hold herself together. She was the one who had found the now infamous panties in Derek’s pocket, and she had endured watching Meredith try to date her husband and a vet at the same time. On the other hand she caught Meredith trying to be friends with Dr. Torres. She had seen her scared and drugged and she had seen her keep Mark at bay (no small feat). When she had visited Stevens after Denny Duquet had died she had seen the way all of the interns relied on Meredith and her dark and twisty past to be able to help.
In another lifetime Addison would have liked Meredith Grey. She wished that Derek hadn’t tainted the girl by making her the mistress.
Speaking of Derek, he was approaching the table where the interns sat. O’Malley’s eyes snapped up and he whispered something to Meredith. She glanced over her shoulder at the approaching attending grabbed her tray and bolted for the nearest door in one swift motion. Derek was left standing alone and a little angry. He shot a look at Yang and O’Malley and left in a huff.
Of all things that had not been what she was expecting. Meredith was not supposed to run away from Derek, she was supposed to kiss him and touch him and make Addison feel slightly sick. As Derek passed her table she couldn’t help muttering, “Trouble in paradise?” For which she afterwards felt slightly guilty.
After a few days it seemed that Grey had actually broken it off with McDreamy. There was actually a betting pool among the nurses about how long that would last. Addison for one was not buying it. Meredith had won, why was she waiting to claim her prize? Although it did seem like Derek was out of the picture, Addison still kept her eye on the intern. There was something going on that she didn’t know about. She would just have to wait and see.
Three weeks later Addison’s spying hadn’t really dug up anything. Grey was still avoiding Derek and seemed to be compensating for it by getting more involved in her friend’s lives. She was being a better friend to George and to Izzie who was still having trouble adjusting to the hospital. She was slowly getting Christina to open up to her, because they were sisters in every way that counted. There was nothing shady or shifty about this Meredith. It was most likely who she would have seen if Derek had never been in the picture.
It was funny, after over a month of staring Addison had become hyperaware of when Meredith was in a room. The first thing she did when she entered the hospital was try to remember if this was a Grey shift. She would look to see what kind of mood Meredith was in, what kind of clothes she was wearing, how tired she seemed. Some fraction of her mind was perpetually devoted to Meredith Grey, and she wondered why.
Only after she caught herself wondering if Meredith had freckles during a consultation, did Addison finally figure it out. Somehow she had inadvertently fallen into what could only be described as a crush. She, Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery, had a crush on Meredith Grey.
This of course made working with her incredibly awkward. Although Addison couldn’t seem to stop the staring she went out of her way to keep Grey out of her rotation and to avoid her at all costs. Bailey realized that something was wrong when Addison had vehemently objected to having Meredith as her intern for the day.
“You okay?” She asked genuinely concerned.
“I’m fine Miranda,” Addison replied without looking at her.
“You’re gonna have to work with her sooner or later.”
Addison sighed, “I know.”
Apparently it would be sooner because as Addison entered the hospital the following Monday she was informed that she would have Grey on her rotation. They worked in near silence doing charts and checking on patients. Addison had to work harder than she ever had to before not to smile when Meredith did. To resist the impulse to tuck back a stray piece of hair. To keep from just gathering the intern’s small body into her arms where she knew it would fit perfectly. She hid in the cold façade that had become a necessity when dealing with Meredith Grey after her husband’s affair.
Around nine when they had finished checking on the twins born earlier that day the two doctors left to get ready to go home. Addison breathed deeply as she gathered her things from her office. She had survived and she wouldn’t have to do it again. She was just turning to leave when a hesitant knock sounded on the office door. Addison knew that knock. There was Meredith leaning against the door frame wearing her street clothes and a nervous expression.
“Doctor Montgomery?” She asked taking a step forward, “can I?” she gestured towards the interior of the room.
Addison sighed, “Come in,”
Meredith took a seat and Addison sat facing her from the other side of a desk. She pulled back her long red hair and asked, “Is there something I can do for you Meredith?”
“I don’t know,” Meredith replied, “I guess I was just wondering if there was something you wanted to say to me.”
Addison was puzzled, “Why would I want to say something to you?” she asked.
“Because you were staring at me,” said Meredith now looking at her hands in her lap, “you just keep staring at me.”
Addison inwardly cringed, how could she be so stupid? She settled for answering in a half truth, “I guess I wanted to know why you and Derek broke up.”
Meredith gave her that little half smile, “Because you were staring at me.”
Addison blinked twice slowly trying to process, “What do you mean?”
“You were staring at me,” Meredith said shyly, “and it felt better than anything has in a long time.”
“You broke up with Derek because I was staring at you?” Addison repeated feeling like she was missing something important.
“I broke up with Derek because I was more interested in the beautiful, witty, intelligent doctor that couldn’t seem to take her eyes off of me.” Meredith said slowly to make sure none of the meaning was lost.
She stood up and walked around the desk to where Addison sat dumbly trying to work out what just happened. Meredith spun the desk chair towards her and Addison spun with it. She leaned down, cupped Addison’s face, and kissed her. It only took Addison a minute to start to kiss back.
Meredith was winding her fingers through the red of Addison’s hair and Addison was holding Meredith’s waist, they barely stopped for breath. At some point Addison stood up to equalize their heights. Meredith nipped at Addison’s lower lip which caused her to make a noise between a gasp and a moan. Addison ran her nails down Meredith’s back which made her shudder. It lasted an eternity and then it was over. Meredith took a step back and looked at Addison with her bedroom eyes.
Addison struggled to find her balance in a world that had decided to go off on some odd angles in the last twenty minutes.
“Are you okay?” Meredith asked.
“I think so.” She leaned back against the desk, a torrent of questions raged through Addison’s mind. The most prevalent one of course being ‘what just happened?’.
But when she opened her mouth she found herself asking, “How did you know…that I…?”
“Oh,” Meredith actually blushed. When she blushed Addison could see the freckles that dotted her collar bone. “I’ve kind of been staring at you too.”
Meredith took a deep breath, “So…do you want to get some coffee?”
“Yeah.” Addison said with a smile, “I’d like that.”
AN: My first M/A fic, review please!