Doctor Who/Torchwood Fic:Let's All Blame the Big Bad Wolf-Part 2
Title: Let's All Blame the Big Bad Wolf-Part 2/3
Author:meowbooks
Rating: PG
Words:805
Genre: Humor/Silly Fic?
Characters: Ianto,Toshiko, Owen, Donna, Bad Wolf Rose (and other party crashers)
Summary: Let's just blame the Big Bad Wolf shall we? Spoilers for Children of Earth.
Part 1
Part 2
“Yes, but back to it’s purpose?” shouted Ianto over the rumble of the crowd forming in the room and the music.
“We monitor the goings on down there the best we can,” explained Donna. “Sending the TARDIS distress calls that don’t quite reach on their own, sending UNIT little hints, we can only see what happens in our solar system, but that’s plenty. All of Torchwood 4’s viewing screens come in handy…”
“Torchwood 4?”said Ianto.
“She scooped it up! Don’t look at me. I wasn’t there, but yeah that lot’s here too. Why do you think we have an autopsy table? Not very useful here is it?”
There was no pattern, no preference, for rhythm or style in the song selection Bad Wolf Rose chose. Five minutes of unearthly squeals appealed to the sensibilities of the odd number of Weevils who had barged in and started bowing at a disgusted Owen’s feet, soothing symphonies, techno, tango, drumming and war chants, rotated in and out switching every few seconds or every few minutes. Ianto would have thought it was maddening if the whole situation hadn’t already been completely mad.
The transparent Donna kept waving at different men-one with a mop of curly hair and an outrageous scarf trailing behind him, an old and gentlemanly one, another who impressed a clapping Bad Wolf Rose with a form of martial arts chopping, a shorter, recorder playing man with impressive eyebrows-who had wafted in. She claimed they were all the Doctor.
Ianto found all of this a bit dizzying. “So, they’re the Doctor and you’re part Doctor and the skinny,brown-coated-”
“And him!” smiled Donna waving to yet another party guest. “Oy, always love the celery! When are you bringing me one so I can pin it on my lapel?”
“…and celery man. All the Doctor.”
“Yeah, “ said Donna. “You got a problem with that?”
The music swerved from “Dancing Queen” to an instrumental tango. The floor became a bit emptier as some sat down in chairs that had spontaneously come into being-no doubt recovering from the blaring rock song still ringing in many of their ears-leaving room for couples to enjoy the slower pace of the tango music.
“I love this one!” Toshiko nudged Owen. “One dance?”
“I don’t dance.”
“And you don’t do flowers,”sighed Toshiko slumping in her chair. “Look, even the Doctors are dancing. Oh, which one’s that one again?” Her eyes followed one twirling an umbrella with a red, question mark handle.
“Seven.”
Toshiko stood up, “Suit yourself.” She tugged a person into her arms from the crowd, “Hello, Tommy!” Tommy smiled and lead her away. The music switched again to a quick-paced dance number. Owen drummed his fingers on the arm of his computer chair, watching Tommy twirl Tosh in his arms. Owen kicked his computer chair away, grabbed the nearest female human, and dragged her to the dance floor.
His eyes were still fixed on Tosh. Tommy dipped and glided his dance partner this way and that. Owen’s captive dancing partner wasn’t enjoying it very much.
“Owen, let go!” she said trying to tug out of his grip. Owen broke his steely glare for Tosh to look at her.
“Suzie?”
“No, I’m an OOD with a mask!”
“Well, Miss Ood, you either dance with me or one of my loyal subjects-”He nodded towards a Weevil who seemed to understand the threat and was now enthusiastically nodding.
“Toss me,”Suzie said as she twirled away from him.
“What?”said Owen. Suzie spun back in and whispered in his ear,“But if you don’t catch me it’ll take more than a stinkin’ Weevil to save you.”
Tosh peered over Tommy’s shoulder from across the dance floor. Owen tossed Suzie lightly into the air and caught her. Tosh glowered, “‘I don’t dance?’ Hah!”
SHWOOOMP! A roaring sound, a wave of energy and the main doors swung inward, a slightly smoking Jack Harkness charged in, a massive weapon slung over his shoulder, and a hand gun aimed at the ready. He spotted Suzie and shot her in the head.
The music stopped screeched to silence.Owen groaned and shouted,“You shot my dance partner!”
Ianto leaned over to the transparent Donna, “Again.” Bad Wolf Rose zoomed over and placed a glowing hand on Suzie’s head. Suzie stood up, strode across the room, slapped a stunned Jack and stormed out of the room. Tosh folded her arms, “We were having a dance party!”
Jack stowed his hand gun, “I thought…I mean, I’m here to-“
“Oh, so when HE dies you find Torchwood 4?” said Owen. “That’s bloody convenient.”
“Well,” Jack cleared his throat and scanned the room. “Dance party, disco ball? Hey, I was the Saturday night fever.”
The fanfiction writer allowed everyone-fictional characters and readers- a moment to face palm and groan in frustration.
Part 3
Author's Note: And while you're just hanging there...I thought I'd recommend a well made, amusing Tenth Doctor: The Musical Video. In it, Nine watches Ten's era on the telly.I have yet to get to the part in this story related to a similar concept involving Donna going all exposition-y that I have planned, but I didn't want to wait until then to sharedi_br 's video. Warning: Epic Awesomeness and PG-13ness
Author:meowbooks
Rating: PG
Words:805
Genre: Humor/Silly Fic?
Characters: Ianto,Toshiko, Owen, Donna, Bad Wolf Rose (and other party crashers)
Summary: Let's just blame the Big Bad Wolf shall we? Spoilers for Children of Earth.
Part 1
Part 2
“Yes, but back to it’s purpose?” shouted Ianto over the rumble of the crowd forming in the room and the music.
“We monitor the goings on down there the best we can,” explained Donna. “Sending the TARDIS distress calls that don’t quite reach on their own, sending UNIT little hints, we can only see what happens in our solar system, but that’s plenty. All of Torchwood 4’s viewing screens come in handy…”
“Torchwood 4?”said Ianto.
“She scooped it up! Don’t look at me. I wasn’t there, but yeah that lot’s here too. Why do you think we have an autopsy table? Not very useful here is it?”
There was no pattern, no preference, for rhythm or style in the song selection Bad Wolf Rose chose. Five minutes of unearthly squeals appealed to the sensibilities of the odd number of Weevils who had barged in and started bowing at a disgusted Owen’s feet, soothing symphonies, techno, tango, drumming and war chants, rotated in and out switching every few seconds or every few minutes. Ianto would have thought it was maddening if the whole situation hadn’t already been completely mad.
The transparent Donna kept waving at different men-one with a mop of curly hair and an outrageous scarf trailing behind him, an old and gentlemanly one, another who impressed a clapping Bad Wolf Rose with a form of martial arts chopping, a shorter, recorder playing man with impressive eyebrows-who had wafted in. She claimed they were all the Doctor.
Ianto found all of this a bit dizzying. “So, they’re the Doctor and you’re part Doctor and the skinny,brown-coated-”
“And him!” smiled Donna waving to yet another party guest. “Oy, always love the celery! When are you bringing me one so I can pin it on my lapel?”
“…and celery man. All the Doctor.”
“Yeah, “ said Donna. “You got a problem with that?”
The music swerved from “Dancing Queen” to an instrumental tango. The floor became a bit emptier as some sat down in chairs that had spontaneously come into being-no doubt recovering from the blaring rock song still ringing in many of their ears-leaving room for couples to enjoy the slower pace of the tango music.
“I love this one!” Toshiko nudged Owen. “One dance?”
“I don’t dance.”
“And you don’t do flowers,”sighed Toshiko slumping in her chair. “Look, even the Doctors are dancing. Oh, which one’s that one again?” Her eyes followed one twirling an umbrella with a red, question mark handle.
“Seven.”
Toshiko stood up, “Suit yourself.” She tugged a person into her arms from the crowd, “Hello, Tommy!” Tommy smiled and lead her away. The music switched again to a quick-paced dance number. Owen drummed his fingers on the arm of his computer chair, watching Tommy twirl Tosh in his arms. Owen kicked his computer chair away, grabbed the nearest female human, and dragged her to the dance floor.
His eyes were still fixed on Tosh. Tommy dipped and glided his dance partner this way and that. Owen’s captive dancing partner wasn’t enjoying it very much.
“Owen, let go!” she said trying to tug out of his grip. Owen broke his steely glare for Tosh to look at her.
“Suzie?”
“No, I’m an OOD with a mask!”
“Well, Miss Ood, you either dance with me or one of my loyal subjects-”He nodded towards a Weevil who seemed to understand the threat and was now enthusiastically nodding.
“Toss me,”Suzie said as she twirled away from him.
“What?”said Owen. Suzie spun back in and whispered in his ear,“But if you don’t catch me it’ll take more than a stinkin’ Weevil to save you.”
Tosh peered over Tommy’s shoulder from across the dance floor. Owen tossed Suzie lightly into the air and caught her. Tosh glowered, “‘I don’t dance?’ Hah!”
SHWOOOMP! A roaring sound, a wave of energy and the main doors swung inward, a slightly smoking Jack Harkness charged in, a massive weapon slung over his shoulder, and a hand gun aimed at the ready. He spotted Suzie and shot her in the head.
The music stopped screeched to silence.Owen groaned and shouted,“You shot my dance partner!”
Ianto leaned over to the transparent Donna, “Again.” Bad Wolf Rose zoomed over and placed a glowing hand on Suzie’s head. Suzie stood up, strode across the room, slapped a stunned Jack and stormed out of the room. Tosh folded her arms, “We were having a dance party!”
Jack stowed his hand gun, “I thought…I mean, I’m here to-“
“Oh, so when HE dies you find Torchwood 4?” said Owen. “That’s bloody convenient.”
“Well,” Jack cleared his throat and scanned the room. “Dance party, disco ball? Hey, I was the Saturday night fever.”
The fanfiction writer allowed everyone-fictional characters and readers- a moment to face palm and groan in frustration.
Part 3
Author's Note: And while you're just hanging there...I thought I'd recommend a well made, amusing Tenth Doctor: The Musical Video. In it, Nine watches Ten's era on the telly.I have yet to get to the part in this story related to a similar concept involving Donna going all exposition-y that I have planned, but I didn't want to wait until then to sharedi_br 's video. Warning: Epic Awesomeness and PG-13ness