Doctor Who/Torchwood Fic:Let's All Blame the Big Bad Wolf-Part 1
“I said, ‘Could you make me a cup of coffee?’ No one said anything about flowers!”
“It amounts to the same thing. I do that. Next, you’ll expect flowers.”
“Mister Negativity.”
Ianto Jones realized his eyes were closed and he should not be hearing those two voices. Owen Harper and Toshiko Sato were dead and had been for months. Ianto opened his eyes. There, looming over him was Owen with a scalpel in one hand, shaking his head, rolling his eyes, muttering and disconcertingly animated and solid for someone who had died twice.
“I’m trying to do an autopsy and you’re asking me for coffee? Unbelievable.”
Ianto watched in horror as Owen hovered the sharp object over his chest.
He knocked Owen’s arm away, and sat up. “Autopsy! You were going to-”
They were laughing. Toshiko buried her head in her arms giggling like a school girl into her computer keyboard. Owen had been threatening to cut him up and have a look around his insides and he was snickering, snickering!
“Clothes, NOW. “ Ianto wrapped the sheet around his middle and hopped off the metal table. Owen slid down a medical supply cabinet with his infernal snickering, but managed to wave in the direction of a nearby chair. Ianto snatched his clothes up and disappeared behind the blue hospital-type bed curtains.
The clock on the wall’s minute hand jumped from the 5 to halfway in-between the 5 and 6. Toshiko and Owen stood just outside of the curtain and Ianto stepped out fully dressed. Toshiko and Owen looked to the left, to the right, then at their feet. Toshiko frowned, “I don’t remember walking here.”
Ianto adjusted his tie and smiled, “You didn’t. The clock was supposed to illustrate the passage of time and…”
Owen coughed loudly, folded his arms and shook his head. Toshiko continued frowning. Ianto rolled his eyes at what the writer was trying to do, “Nevermind.”
There was an awkward pause.
Ianto sighed, “Or rather the writer tried to create an awkward pause…”
The writer stopped writing the story she intended to write to remind fanfiction Ianto that since it was a fanfiction she could do whatever she well pleased and if he didn’t stop-
“I get it!” Ianto held up his hands and started muttering something about “crazy fan girls.” He lowered his hands, cleared his throat and directed his attention to Owen and Toshiko. “You two are here so I’m…?”
Owen shook his head and folded his arms. “Not exactly, but look! My hand’s fine!”He held up his now healthy left hand. “This hand here. It’s my handy han-”His strangely cheery expression vanished and Owen glared at his hand. “ROSE! I’m not a bleeding puppet!”
A girlish tinker of a laugh shook the curtains Ianto had hidden behind, a golden glow emanated from the gap between the curtain and tiled floor. Ianto hesitated before pulling them back. Rose Tyler, glowing with a golden aura, was giggling on the bed.
“Ms. Tyler?”
“No, no, no!” A mostly transparent Donna Noble strode forward from out of the tiled wall. “Bad Wolf Rose, the version of Rose Tyler that is dead...ish. It’s complicated. Just blame everything on her.”
Ianto was beginning to see a pattern, but Donna didn’t fit it. “You’re not dead.”
“No, but I am the repressed Time Lord consciousness of the DoctorDonna.” She smiled smugly. “I get to go back.”
Toshiko plopped herself back into her computer chair, “So you keep telling us… How can you? I think you’re bluffing. ”
“Oy, watch it,” said Donna. “I’m in charge here.”
Owen circled repressed Donna’s transparent form. “Hah. Big Bad Wolf created it. Doesn’t that mean she’s in charge?”
Donna rose to her full height and smirked at Owen. “She’s off her rocker. “ Donna nodded towards Bad Wolf Rose. The glowing girl snapped her fingers and made a disco ball descend from the ceiling. “She may have created it, but I helped fulfill it’s purpose.” She pushed Owen into a computer chair and sent it bumping into Toshiko’s. “You two were just being lovey, dovey birds before I got here.”
Ianto grinned,”Really?”Donna nodded and whispered, “Oh yeah. Look at him blush!”
Owen gulped, but still made an attempt at defiance. “There were no flowers! Not one.”
Toshiko kissed Owen’s cheek and smiled. She tossed a small toy to Ianto. “He gave me an Adipose.”
Owen winced. “Tosh!”
“Awww,” smiled Ianto. “Owen the romantic.”
Loud music started blaring. Bad Wolf Rose spun around in circles across the floor, and grabbed Ianto’s hand, “Want to dance?”
Donna shook her head and Ianto tried to step away from Rose,“Umm…”
Without further hesitation, Rose flung the toy Adipose at Owen, and started steering Ianto across the room. He watched as the two resurrection gauntlets tangoed past his feet.
Ianto felt a tap at his shoulder. “Mind if I cut in?” It was man with short hair, a leather jacket, and rather prominent ears.
“ ‘Course you don’t.” The man took Rose by the hand and pushed Ianto away. “Off you go.”
“Hello, Doctor!” said Bad Wolf Rose as they swirled away. Ianto seized his chance, ran past Toshiko and Owen (who were now arguing about the toy Adipose) and hurried back to Donna.
“You were saying this place had a purpose?” said Ianto.
“A few years back relative to your time, Rose Tyler, thinking it was the only way she could save the Doctor,” Donna pointed to the leather-jacketed man dipping Bad Wolf Rose on the now crowded floor, “looked into the time vortex and absorbed its energy and powers. She saved the Doctor, brought Jack back to life-”
“She did that?”
“Yes, yes, fixed point in time, hard to kill for good-she went a bit far. Don’t interrupt. But she also made this place. An in-between if you will, where we can watch the Doctor’s doings." She directed Ianto's attention to the numerous screens high on the walls above their heads. "If anyone related to the Doctor and his kicks the bucket, we snatch ‘em up and it gives them the opportunity to wait a bit before moving on-”
“Moving on?”
“ I’m sorry. Not my area of expertise. If it’s not temping in Chiswick or in the Doctor’s head I don’t have it.”
“And the dancing resurrection gauntlets?”
“It's her party,” shrugged Donna.“Rose went mad and would’ve died if the Doctor hadn’t saved her. Which means this Bad Wolf Rose is just…mad.”
Part 2
“It amounts to the same thing. I do that. Next, you’ll expect flowers.”
“Mister Negativity.”
Ianto Jones realized his eyes were closed and he should not be hearing those two voices. Owen Harper and Toshiko Sato were dead and had been for months. Ianto opened his eyes. There, looming over him was Owen with a scalpel in one hand, shaking his head, rolling his eyes, muttering and disconcertingly animated and solid for someone who had died twice.
“I’m trying to do an autopsy and you’re asking me for coffee? Unbelievable.”
Ianto watched in horror as Owen hovered the sharp object over his chest.
He knocked Owen’s arm away, and sat up. “Autopsy! You were going to-”
They were laughing. Toshiko buried her head in her arms giggling like a school girl into her computer keyboard. Owen had been threatening to cut him up and have a look around his insides and he was snickering, snickering!
“Clothes, NOW. “ Ianto wrapped the sheet around his middle and hopped off the metal table. Owen slid down a medical supply cabinet with his infernal snickering, but managed to wave in the direction of a nearby chair. Ianto snatched his clothes up and disappeared behind the blue hospital-type bed curtains.
The clock on the wall’s minute hand jumped from the 5 to halfway in-between the 5 and 6. Toshiko and Owen stood just outside of the curtain and Ianto stepped out fully dressed. Toshiko and Owen looked to the left, to the right, then at their feet. Toshiko frowned, “I don’t remember walking here.”
Ianto adjusted his tie and smiled, “You didn’t. The clock was supposed to illustrate the passage of time and…”
Owen coughed loudly, folded his arms and shook his head. Toshiko continued frowning. Ianto rolled his eyes at what the writer was trying to do, “Nevermind.”
There was an awkward pause.
Ianto sighed, “Or rather the writer tried to create an awkward pause…”
The writer stopped writing the story she intended to write to remind fanfiction Ianto that since it was a fanfiction she could do whatever she well pleased and if he didn’t stop-
“I get it!” Ianto held up his hands and started muttering something about “crazy fan girls.” He lowered his hands, cleared his throat and directed his attention to Owen and Toshiko. “You two are here so I’m…?”
Owen shook his head and folded his arms. “Not exactly, but look! My hand’s fine!”He held up his now healthy left hand. “This hand here. It’s my handy han-”His strangely cheery expression vanished and Owen glared at his hand. “ROSE! I’m not a bleeding puppet!”
A girlish tinker of a laugh shook the curtains Ianto had hidden behind, a golden glow emanated from the gap between the curtain and tiled floor. Ianto hesitated before pulling them back. Rose Tyler, glowing with a golden aura, was giggling on the bed.
“Ms. Tyler?”
“No, no, no!” A mostly transparent Donna Noble strode forward from out of the tiled wall. “Bad Wolf Rose, the version of Rose Tyler that is dead...ish. It’s complicated. Just blame everything on her.”
Ianto was beginning to see a pattern, but Donna didn’t fit it. “You’re not dead.”
“No, but I am the repressed Time Lord consciousness of the DoctorDonna.” She smiled smugly. “I get to go back.”
Toshiko plopped herself back into her computer chair, “So you keep telling us… How can you? I think you’re bluffing. ”
“Oy, watch it,” said Donna. “I’m in charge here.”
Owen circled repressed Donna’s transparent form. “Hah. Big Bad Wolf created it. Doesn’t that mean she’s in charge?”
Donna rose to her full height and smirked at Owen. “She’s off her rocker. “ Donna nodded towards Bad Wolf Rose. The glowing girl snapped her fingers and made a disco ball descend from the ceiling. “She may have created it, but I helped fulfill it’s purpose.” She pushed Owen into a computer chair and sent it bumping into Toshiko’s. “You two were just being lovey, dovey birds before I got here.”
Ianto grinned,”Really?”Donna nodded and whispered, “Oh yeah. Look at him blush!”
Owen gulped, but still made an attempt at defiance. “There were no flowers! Not one.”
Toshiko kissed Owen’s cheek and smiled. She tossed a small toy to Ianto. “He gave me an Adipose.”
Owen winced. “Tosh!”
“Awww,” smiled Ianto. “Owen the romantic.”
Loud music started blaring. Bad Wolf Rose spun around in circles across the floor, and grabbed Ianto’s hand, “Want to dance?”
Donna shook her head and Ianto tried to step away from Rose,“Umm…”
Without further hesitation, Rose flung the toy Adipose at Owen, and started steering Ianto across the room. He watched as the two resurrection gauntlets tangoed past his feet.
Ianto felt a tap at his shoulder. “Mind if I cut in?” It was man with short hair, a leather jacket, and rather prominent ears.
“ ‘Course you don’t.” The man took Rose by the hand and pushed Ianto away. “Off you go.”
“Hello, Doctor!” said Bad Wolf Rose as they swirled away. Ianto seized his chance, ran past Toshiko and Owen (who were now arguing about the toy Adipose) and hurried back to Donna.
“You were saying this place had a purpose?” said Ianto.
“A few years back relative to your time, Rose Tyler, thinking it was the only way she could save the Doctor,” Donna pointed to the leather-jacketed man dipping Bad Wolf Rose on the now crowded floor, “looked into the time vortex and absorbed its energy and powers. She saved the Doctor, brought Jack back to life-”
“She did that?”
“Yes, yes, fixed point in time, hard to kill for good-she went a bit far. Don’t interrupt. But she also made this place. An in-between if you will, where we can watch the Doctor’s doings." She directed Ianto's attention to the numerous screens high on the walls above their heads. "If anyone related to the Doctor and his kicks the bucket, we snatch ‘em up and it gives them the opportunity to wait a bit before moving on-”
“Moving on?”
“ I’m sorry. Not my area of expertise. If it’s not temping in Chiswick or in the Doctor’s head I don’t have it.”
“And the dancing resurrection gauntlets?”
“It's her party,” shrugged Donna.“Rose went mad and would’ve died if the Doctor hadn’t saved her. Which means this Bad Wolf Rose is just…mad.”
Part 2