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Jan 21, 2014 12:22

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cavefelem January 21 2014, 19:02:06 UTC
I'm so sorry. What's her prognosis? (Of course you don't have to share that, or even say anything about it, if you don't want to.)

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mentalhygiene January 21 2014, 20:01:54 UTC
I'm not really sure, honestly. Her doctors give her optimistic estimates (10+ years), the internet gives less optimistic, depending on when they catch it (5 years if they catch it early). It's hard to tell. My parents do not seem like the prognosis is for 'many good long years'. On the other hand my uncle's prognosis (throat cancer) was poor and he's still kicking around so.

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cavefelem January 21 2014, 20:05:40 UTC
I would trust her doctors on this more than the internet. The doctors are looking at her situation specifically, the internet is... the internet.

If there is anything your friends can do to keep you in good spirits, do give us hints.

(I haven't forgotten about the hockey hat, by the way. I keep looking for one every so often when I pass a hockey merch department, but the specific kind of hat you like hasn't been around.)

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mentalhygiene January 21 2014, 20:14:19 UTC
I'd like to trust her doctors on this, but the impression I got from my mother (admittedly not a hugely reliable source) is that they were being optimistic for her benefit. I'm also afraid to ask her directly, or my dad.

Mostly I am trying to find distractions and overcome inertia. There is hockey to coach, and I'm starting hockey league play with FloridaBuddy in a couple of weeks assuming he doesn't break himself again. Choir, and swimming (when the pool is not closed due to Weather or other annoyances and when I am not sick).

(that's cool. I can expand the parameters to toques with earflaps, a la these if that helps but those are probably more expensive than a regular toque. fashion is so fickle.)

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nzraya January 22 2014, 16:16:38 UTC
Sorry to hear about all these stresses, especially your mother's diagnosis. I want to concur with the commenter who said "trust the doctors, not the internet." There is little incentive for doctors to be excessively optimistic, because it just opens them up to retribution later when best-case scenarios don't play out. And when I was pregnant I obsessively checked the internet about every tiny symptom/physical change and found that even for the most unquestionably positive things (e.g. a very active, kicking fetus) there would always be that ONE post that was like "One day my baby was kicking a lot and the next morning HE WAS DEAD." After a while I learned to just ... back away slowly from the Internet.

And WebMD is the worst. Talk about pessimism.

Most importantly, though, I'm sorry that your family, and you especially, are going through all of this. I hope for the best for all of you.

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mentalhygiene January 22 2014, 16:35:10 UTC
That is true. Honestly, I'm not even really sure what the doctors told her because she relays so little to the rest of us, plus anything she does relay (or she did relay, in the hospital) gets garbled by my dad (for whom the medical arena is a vast tundra of mystery, apparently).

I spend a lot of time wanting to throw things but also wanting to sleep.

Thanks.

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zeitheist January 24 2014, 18:05:55 UTC
Shiiiit. I'm really sorry to hear about your mom, and I wish her all the best for her recovery. Also for your dad, and you, and the rest of your family.

I think it's totally understandable to feel overwhelmed and distressed in this situation. I know you've probably already got people to talk to, but if you ever need to talk about anything, at whatever time and by whatever means, I'm here.

I hope your virus clears up soon, as well.

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mentalhygiene January 27 2014, 02:35:48 UTC
Thank you. :)

Yeah, it is understandable I guess, it's just ... it's kind of difficult sometimes to allow myself to feel it, like it's a luxury I can't afford, feeling overwhelmed? Thanks for the offer, it is good to have friends to talk to, not just my therapist. ;)

Luckily the virus seems to have gone. \o/

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