748. it's always darkest before dawn

Feb 19, 2012 09:51


HURT & COMFORT RP [EXPANDED 2.0]
Hurt/Comfort - Hurt/comfort is a fan fiction genre that involves the physical pain or emotional distress of one character, who is cared for by another character. The injury, sickness or other kind of hurt allows an exploration of the characters and their relationship.

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warning: possible triggers, rated: nc17, dark-horror, shipping-romance, action, rated: r, rated: pg13

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Ordinary!Cas | Supernatural AU mojofree February 20 2012, 00:18:22 UTC
14/21 Because things have been too happy, clearly alifeordinary February 22 2012, 11:09:00 UTC
[Dean's usually pretty good about keeping a schedule, his day at the garage starts early and it's good, honest work so he's always ready for bed by eleven or twelve. He's a routine kind of guy. This, though... this is borderline ridiculous. It's nearly half passed three in the morning, and he can't sleep. His mind just keeps going back to...

Shit. He's pretty sure he's crazy about his roommate. It was alright at first, this 'hey, I'd fuck him in the back of the Impala' feeling that was more physical attraction than anything. And then it progressed into, 'hey, I can tell this guy about my past because he's slowly turning into my best friend'. Which would have been fine, awesome, in fact, if it negated that first feeling.

But still, the two were tolerable.

Until they weren't.

He's not used to... like... wanting. And it's freaking terrifying. It's getting harder to live with, because he's got to physically stop himself from doing something stupid, something that'll fuck up this whole thing. And even that he wouldn't really mind ( ... )

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ALL ABOARD THE ANGST TRAIN WOO WOOOOOO :P mojofree February 23 2012, 02:46:42 UTC
[Cas, for his part, has been living in a state of denial as far as his feelings go. Denying the dreams, the looks, the horribly inappropriate things that cross his mind when Dean steps out of the shower, leaves for work, comes home from work, or breathes.

Denying the way that he's beaten off imagining Dean's mouth on more than one occasion. And that's not even beginning to touch the other, less physical things he tries to tell himself aren't really there. If it were just the physical, he could deal; hell, if it were purely physical he'd probably have done something about it by now. He's no prude, not anymore, and has absolutely no qualms about seeking pleasure, especially from someone as beautiful as Dean.

No, if it were only physical, he'd hit that like the fist of an angry god. Twice.

But it's... Decidedly not. It's gone past the point of constantly occasionally checking him out when he's not looking and wondering what those broad shoulders would feel like under his fingers, and has careened into things like 'hmm we're out ( ... )

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I'M SHOVELIN' COAL INTO THE ENGINE, BABY alifeordinary February 23 2012, 03:04:14 UTC
[If Dean had the capacity to read minds- apart from one glaringly obvious situation being sorted out in a single fell six second swoop- he'd want to kiss Cas right on the spot for being legitimately indignant at the idea of someone attempting to steal their puppy. That's just so very him, and exactly the type of weird, caring shit Cas did to make himself so freaking... important.

Son of a bitch. It was worse than he thought. What the hell is he going to do? Could he move out, ditch out on him? He thinks probably not- just like he wouldn't ditch out on Sam if he had the choice. That's just not... that's not supposed to happen. At all, ever. He doesn't do that.

And it scares the shit out of him.

Hell, if he could read minds, half of the annoying girly thought processes running through there at any given moment might just make him laugh himself into a hernia. Just little inclusive moments where he doesn't really consider doing anything alone anymore. And Cas is usually tacked on right after it. And that's just... Shit, man. He's got ( ... )

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/dead mojofree February 24 2012, 19:48:35 UTC
[Hey, no one steals their puppy. Mala beads are useful for more than just meditation, he bets he could choke a bitch with them, too.

A bell? What is he, a dog? He makes a face as he peers out into the dark.]

Yeah, I'll get right on that, Mr. Night Stalker. What're you doing out here?

[It's three AM, and also pretty damn cold. Cold enough that he wishes he'd grabbed a jacket. Or hey, maybe even just a shirt would have been good. It's too late now, though, and so he guesses he'll just tough it out. Stepping out of the window and onto the fire escape, and totally oblivious to the very serious thinking he's intruding on, he winces at the cold metal under his feet. Shoes, next time he thinks they're being robbed in the middle of the night he's gonna be sure to wear some shoes.

He runs a hand through his already-mussed hair and blinks out into the lights of the town, and he has to admit, it's a decent view.

If he were having a crisis, which he definitely isn't, this would be a pretty good place to go to try and puzzle it out ( ... )

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alifeordinary February 24 2012, 20:00:14 UTC
[The day Cas chokes a bitch with a strand of hippy beads is the day he laughs himself into a hernia at the irony. Weren't they supposed to be peaceful or something? He's pretty sure the story would startle the vegan that made them into some kind of vegetable-induced heart attack. Which would just... really make the whole thing even funnier.

But that's a good attitude to have. Nobody steals their dog. Bitches will be choked at the attempt. Survivors will be choked a second time. Times like this, he wishes he'd have kept his Dad's guns somewhere other than storage.

Alright, Dean, quick, come up with a plausible excuse. Why would you be on a fire escape platform at three in the morning, without sounding crazy and/or revealing the fact that you're in mumblemumble?]

...Oh, I was just. Pfft. Ah.

[Yes. Nice one. That'll probably do. He waves a hand.]

Thinking. Just thinking.

[Shirtless shoeless psychic bastard's going to see right through him, and he doesn't even have a convenient cover story. And there's no way in hell he's falling ( ... )

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mojofree February 25 2012, 18:22:44 UTC
[Ahimsa only extends to people who aren't puppy thieves. Puppy thieves are excluded.

It's dark, and Cas's vision isn't the best, and so he can't see the expression on Dean's face that would probably be a dead giveaway that he's trying to come up with a plausible story. To Cas it just looks like Dean's distracted, or maybe that he's frozen to death or something.

There's a bunch of stuttering, which, okay, weird, but he doesn't press, only raises an eyebrow and waits for an actual response.

Thinking. Okay, thinking he can buy. He watches Dean tug and poke at his hoodie strings, and is about to ask if he wants to talk about it- not that he really thinks Dean will go for that, but he always offers anyway- when he's (successfully, if it'd been Dean's intention) distracted by the admonishment about his half-dressed state. He makes a face, though he's sure Dean can't see it in the dark.]

You would if you ever wanted to hear the end of my whining.

[Cas exemplifies the Man Cold. He's the person 'Man Cold' was coined for. It really ( ... )

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alifeordinary February 25 2012, 22:08:28 UTC
[It wasn't stuttering, it was conversational pause. It's called timing, and he's allowed to experiment with it. He doesn't stutter. He just... god, he needs to check himself 'fore he wrecks himself. This is such a shitty situation in general, and he's not really sure how to solve it.

Move out- Shut up, voice in his head. Reasonable, sensible voice. If it were anybody else coming up to him, asking him for advice on the situation, that would be his solution. Move out, get away from it, stop subjecting yourself to something that's never gonna happen, you're just going to stretch it out and make it worse, and then it'll hurt in the end when it all comes crashing down. People spend years flopping around over other people. Dean is not one of those people.

He just... happens to be very bad at letting people go. That doesn't mean it's the same thing.]

Touche.

[The look he shoots Cas at the question can't even really be put into words- Are you seriously asking me if I, Dean Winchester, want a cup of tea? He decides to let the look do all ( ... )

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mojofree February 26 2012, 14:14:00 UTC
[He can just barely make out that look, and he raises his eyebrows.]

Suit yourself.

[He steps back inside, padding as silently as possible over to the kitchen to turn the water on. Turn your nose up all you want, Dean. Tea is amazing.

He turns the coffee pot on, too, because he's awesome like that and is pretty sure Dean's gonna need to up his intake at least threefold to survive the day; there's nothing shittier than being exhausted at work.

Shivering slightly, he decides that now is probably a good time to get a shirt or a hoodie or a maybe even snowsuit. Meandering back into his room- quietly, so that he doesn't wake the sleeping ball of energized death curled up on the couch- he digs up one of his thickest shirts and a sweater best described as a drug rug; from Mexico- he's really into the whole authenticity thing. He also tugs on a pair of fluffy woven socks-- grandma image be damned, it's fucking cold. Satisfied that that the threat of freezing to death has now been dealt with, he makes his way back into the kitchen, ( ... )

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alifeordinary February 26 2012, 17:58:42 UTC
[Honestly, he expected Cas to say suit yourself, go inside, make himself some tea, and disappear into that zen chamber he called a room. Just as well, it would have been easier, because he'd have time to tell himself he's being insane- that his feelings for Cas aren't really all that involved, that he's just making this into a bigger deal than he ever really intended to. Just a lack of action combined with proximity.

He knows that's not the case. Hell, he probably knew when he brought Colt home- he hasn't been making a friendship, he's been making a family. He's been bedding down, setting up ties, staking his claim. Roping Cas in with more and more connections in the hopes that he wouldn't be able to disentangle himself. A dog- a mutual dog- a puppy. God, if he moves out, who gets the dog? Cas loves that dog. He loves that dog. Stupid fucking god damn dog.

And then, god bless him, Cas comes back out wearing the ugliest fucking sweater he's ever seen, in those ugly fucking socks, with tousled hair and a cup of coffee, and Dean just ( ... )

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mojofree February 27 2012, 14:44:26 UTC
[He's leaned up against the railing, sipping at his tea- and when, when will he learn not to drink it right away and spare his poor tongue being melted out of his mouth? Fuck, that hurts. Wincing, he lowers the mug, wraps his fingers around it like a hand warmer.

He's about to comment on the view, just to cut the tense silence that he's only just noticing, but then Dean saves him the trouble while simultaneously causing his stomach to drop to somewhere around his knees.

Did he hear that right? Because he thinks Dean's just said I think I should move out, but that can't be right, it just-- What.]

What? Why?

[He has to have heard him wrong. Everything's been going so well, they get along, neither of them has burned the place down yet, as far as he know the rent's covered... They have a puppy for fuck's sake.

This is so far out of left field he actually can't form a coherent thought past What?He can't look Dean in the eye, either, and so he stares at his tea, watches the steam rise and disappear into the air that feels ( ... )

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alifeordinary February 27 2012, 19:11:56 UTC
[Shit, fuck, the words left his mouth and he wasn't even sure he'd been intending to say them. They just... flew out like they had a mind of their own and it almost didn't seem real. As soon as he heard his own words, though, it sort of cemented their reality. Yeah- yeah it had to happen. This had to happen, he couldn't just-

And, shit, he doesn't have an excuse prepared just like he didn't have one for why he was sitting out on the fire escape. He's usually a pretty good liar, but not with Cas- has he lied to Cas? Not really. Not in a long time. Though- well, kind of every day was a lie, considering his feelings, but nothing so pointed as this?

What could he even say that would compare to being in love? What is a comparable move-out worthy reason? And he's not going to pin this on Cas- that's just not even- feelings or no, Cas is his friend, and, frankly, the best roommate he's ever had. He doesn't deserve some lame excuse, some bullshit answer made to pin the blame on him. Nope, this is all Dean ( ... )

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mojofree February 27 2012, 21:28:12 UTC
[He tenses. The hurt is so sudden and overpowering, so absolute that his only line of defense at this point is to get pissed. His coffee's too good? That's the reason why his best friend is moving out, running away, ditching him in this shitty ass town? Seriously? His brows knit together in the deepest of frowns, and he's really, really trying to keep from going off, from losing his shit out here on the fire escape at nearly four in the morning ( ... )

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alifeordinary February 28 2012, 04:39:52 UTC
[Yep, there goes that. It's all over in one fell swoop of verbal diarrhea. He should take some kind of public speaking class or something, because seriously, that was the least skilled, least tactful thing he'd ever said in his entire career of picking people up. Considering how extensive it is, that's quite an impressive failure.

Cas was looking at him like he was fucking retarded, which only really served to make him feel even more fucking retarded. His heart beat fast and hard against his chest, hyper-aware and still somehow surreal in a way that only happened when he was freaking out. He kind of wanted to punch himself for it- it was only Cas, he was only losing Cas, it wasn't that imperative, it wasn't that big of a deal. Except that it was. Still, this was pathetic- if you don't calm down right this fucking second and stop looking so pitiful-

And then that gravelly voice cut in, with his name, with hesitancy, with I don't-. Yeah. He gets that. That's why he's moving out, isn't it? It wasn't like he expected a freaking ride on ( ... )

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mojofree February 28 2012, 22:48:32 UTC
[That face... That expression of complete and utter confusion... Was he not as obvious as he'd assumed he'd been? Really, the staring alone, he'd thought for sure he'd been caught at it at least half a dozen times.

Maybe Dean'd just written it off as that stoner staring thing he does sometimes when he's really baked. That has to be it, because damn, he'd thought it'd been pretty obvious.

That face is still there, and fuck if Cas doesn't want to lean forward, kiss that confusion away...

He doesn't, though, because talking should probably happen first. God, first, look at him go, just assuming things, assuming that because he'd thrown it out there it's all going to be smooth sailing from here on out... Right, because that's how his life goes ( ... )

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alifeordinary February 29 2012, 05:35:07 UTC
[Cas could have been the most obvious person in the world and Dean probably still wouldn't have picked up on it- mostly because it was mutual, and therefor beyond his grasp. He's a subtle genius when it comes to one night stands, a game of cat and mouse when it comes to flirty chicks or the occasional chatty guy, but when it comes to actual feelings? When he's around someone for more than one or two nights, in a place that isn't a bar, when he actually cares, he's so far out of his depth, he practically drowns.

And Cas was... Cas. Despite his narcissistic tendencies, Dean's got one hell of an inferiority complex. Why anybody would love him is just... man, it's beyond him.

Except that Cas apparently does- holy fucking- are you- is this seriously happening? Is the universe punking him right now? Because if so, this isn't a fucking funny joke. If he gives in to this and it gets taken away from him in the next step like everything always does, he's going to have a serious bone to pick with the universe, because this is ( ... )

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