Unforgivable (WIP)
Title: Unforgivable
Author: Melusine
Beta: toshimalfoy
Rating: NC-17, as always
Pairing: WolfYuu/Yuuram
Warnings this part: None, apart from the rating.
Overall warnings: Angst, violence, incest, dubious consent/statutory rape, issues of forcible rape
Spoilers: Through season 2. May increase later.
Disclaimer: Kyou Kara Maou! and related characters, situations, etc. belong to Tomo Takabayashi and various other people/companies, none of whom are me. This is a fan work; no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: It's been seven years since Yuuri became the Demon King, proposed to Wolfram, and adopted Greta. When the relationship between Yuuri and Wolfram begins to shift, and Greta is attacked, everything changes and old wounds are exposed.
Part: 1/?
Chapter I
Greta was fifteen, and every day the kingdom turned away from her a little more. A young king taking in a child was one thing, but a full-fledged Human princess in the Demon court was quite another. She had come of age two years ago, and thanks to the precedent set by her adopted father's legendary proposal, she was now old enough to be engaged. This made her the subject of heated debate inside the castle and endless gossip outside of it. It also meant that Blood Pledge Castle was now host to a formal ball every few months, as custom required for the princess to meet foreign nobles. No one had yet shown the courage to outwardly court the High King's daughter, however, possibly because he, who found the speed at which Greta was maturing more than a little alarming, spent much of his time watching her out of the corner of his eye with one hand on the hilt of his sword.
But he spent even more of his time occupied with Yuuri.
"Wolfram," Yuuri said quietly one evening as they sat at the back of the ballroom, taking a respite from the commotion of the crowds of dancers and gossipers. "I've been thinking, with all this talk of Greta being of age..."
Wolfram growled.
"I was just thinking," Yuuri continued quickly over the warning sound, "that if she's old enough to be betrothed, then I'm-- I'm certainly old enough to be married." He blushed only slightly as he said it, and fixed Wolfram with a serious look.
He shouldn't be surprised, Wolfram told himself. He had expected something like this for seven years. He'd never given much thought as to how it would happen, however, and didn't appreciate the way the wimp was doing it, here, surrounded by party guests so that Wolfram wouldn't protest and make a scene.
But of course Yuuri would want to be free of this accidental engagement, and he was right in that he was old enough to find a "real" relationship. Wolfram looked away and said, "Whatever you wish." It was all he could manage under the weight of the thought of being banned from Yuuri's bed, of having no excuse to touch him and be around him, of losing his position as Greta's father.
Yuuri was silent for several minutes, and Wolfram could feel him watching him. Finally, he said, "Of course, I never meant to trap you into anything, Wolfram. You're free to break it off. I just... I suppose I thought you wanted to marry me... After all this time you haven't--"
Wolfram blinked and looked quickly over at his fiancé. "You're talking about you and me. Getting married."
Yuuri blushed harder. "Yes." He met Wolfram's eyes.
The sounds of the room came back to Wolfram's ears, and he could breathe again. "Well, we are engaged," he replied with a smile. "I did expect that we would be married at some point."
Yuuri, too, seemed to let out a breath he was holding. "Good. There's a full moon in about two weeks. I think we can be ready by then, don't you?"
Wolfram nodded. His head was buzzing and his pulse quickened in contrast to the slow chill of only a few moments ago. "I'll talk to my mother at once. She'll want to help with the preparations." He stood abruptly, suddenly feeling the desperate need for air, and left Yuuri to watch him walk away with wide, thoughtful black eyes.
Wolfram did go to find his mother, as leaving by himself, even for a moment, would hardly be seemly, but he took his time getting there, finding space to think as he wove through the crowd towards her distinctive voice. He didn't know what this meant, really. Yuuri had never shown interest in Wolfram since that famous slap, though as he matured he had quieted his protests, stopped talking about how ridiculous it was for two men to be married, stopped openly flirting with women, and Wolfram, likewise, had given up much of his possessiveness. He had almost given up completely, but not so much that he didn't still wear his mother's nightgown to bed and pause to collect himself every time Yuuri touched him.
Either Yuuri's feelings had changed and this was his wimpy way of showing it, or he had decided that a loveless marriage was worth it to keep Wolfram happy and part of their little family.
Thinking of Greta made Wolfram realize that he'd lost track of her in his conversation with Yuuri. He looked around for her, but had no luck before he was spotted by his mother and immediately trapped in her overzealous embrace.
* * *
Greta slipped out to the gardens while the adults were all occupied with each other, and sat for a while in the dark. There was no moon and the stars shone clearly and brightly, too numerous for her to be able to pick out any constellations. She took off her dancing shoes with a sigh and thought about sneaking off to bed. She'd spent all evening being a good princess, socializing and smiling and dancing with all the important guests, and she was exhausted. If she disappeared in the middle of the ball, however, Wolfram would be furious in the morning and she would be given extra exercises in her sword training, something she hated not so much for the physical strain as because Wolfram often corrected her technique by standing behind her, wrapping his arms around her, laying his sweating hands over hers and breathing directions into her ear... and that made her flush and feel all sorts of things that no girl ought to feel towards even a foster father.
She didn't hear them approach, lost in thoughts of shame as she was, and her cry was quickly smothered. Face down in the dirt. They held her down. Suddenly there was no room in the world for anything but pain.
* * *
Yuuri had learned many things since he'd accepted the role of the Demon King, but there were still times when he needed reminders, and when the ballroom began buzzing over Cheri's unceremonious announcement of their wedding date, Conrad had to catch his eye and give a little nod towards the dance floor before Yuuri figured out he should probably give his guests a dance between the happy couple.
Wolfram was waiting for him in the center of the floor, and the crowd parted respectfully for his approach, something that still made him feel self-conscious and a little silly. As he held out his hand to his fiancé, Yuuri reflected that the nice thing about being High King was that it meant he only ever had to learn the leading role of each dance. Wolfram had to know how to lead and follow, and he performed each as gracefully as he handled his sword.
Being close to Wolfram was always somehow comforting, even while dancing in front of a ballroom full of onlookers, and this time was no exception. His hand fit perfectly on his partner's hip, and Wolfram's hand on his shoulder was warm and soothing as the next song started up and they began to move.
"You're sure about this, Wimp?" Wolfram asked quietly, not looking at him.
In fact, Yuuri had been considering this for a very long time, weighing all possibilities. Otherwise, he wouldn't have asked. He wasn't eager to do anything stupid when it came to Wolfram, with whom there was so much to lose. But instead of answering, he said, "Are you?"
Wolfram was silent for a good four measures, and finally replied, "No."
Yuuri misstepped. That hadn't happened in three years. But Wolfram somehow covered it up, as he'd had to do often enough while Yuuri was still learning. "Well." Yuuri swallowed. "Don't do it if you don't want to."
A shorter pause, then Wolfram looked at him at last. "Oh, I want to." Something in that look, in that low voice, in the way he moved his hand slightly on Yuuri's shoulder, just enough to remind him it was there, vaporized Yuuri's certainty and suddenly he didn't know at all that he'd made the right decision. If he'd miscalculated Wolfram's feelings... "After all, this means I'll be king," Wolfram continued, his tone letting Yuuri relax, at least for the moment.
"How's that?" Yuuri asked, grinning. "Do you plan to kill me and usurp my throne?"
"Don't be stupid. I won't have to." He smirked. "Surely you didn't think I was going to be your queen?"
"No, I suppose not. But what does that make me?"
"The Great Demon King," Wolfram annunciated. "Just as before."
Yuuri was starting to breathe easier. Nothing was going to change, really, except that everything would be more secure. There would be no more suggestions that Wolfram be stationed elsewhere, or hints of proposals from the lesser nobility, and Greta would have a real family.
"Hey, Wolfram," said Yuuri abruptly. "Where's Greta? She isn't upset, is she?"
"I haven't seen her," Wolfram admitted, looking a little guilty. "I thought maybe she'd been to talk to you."
Yuuri shook his head, suddenly concerned. "I hope she's alright with all this. I thought she'd be happy..."
"I'm sure she is." Wolfram's voice was soothing. "Perhaps she thought we'd like to be left alone for a bit."
"Maybe." All the same, Yuuri worried through the rest of the dance, and could see Wolfram growing anxious as well. What if this wasn't what Greta wanted at all? Had she been hoping all this time for a mother...?
Some time later, however, when most of the guests had gone and only those who lived in the castle remained, Wolfram came up and whispered in Yuuri's ear that Greta had been seen sneaking out to the gardens some time before the announcement, and probably hadn't been back. Yuuri breathed a sigh of relief.
"She just slipped off to bed, then," he whispered. "We'll have to tell her in the morning."
Wolfram nodded. "Speaking of bed, do these people know where theirs are?"
Yuuri chuckled. Come to think of it, he was exhausted. He yawned, and the ballroom was quickly emptied-- another nice thing about being High King.
"Remember, you only get to use that wimpy trick once a year," Wolfram smirked at him on the way to their room. "Else everyone will be talking about how lazy you are."
"Yes, I'd hate for them to know the truth," Yuuri replied, slightly distractedly. He was starting to get nervous again. Wolfram's mood was odd-- a little more self-conscious than usual, a little more quick to smile.
Wolfram was first through the door, as he always was as the king's guardian, and so he was the first to say, "What in hell is wrong with our bed?"
In truth, only the duvet was missing, the rest of the sheets and blankets tucked in tightly and neatly as usual. Yuuri blinked, and said, "Well, the maids have been really busy getting ready for the party. Some things are bound to get left out."
Instead of launching into a tirade against the domestic staff as he usually would have done, Wolfram merely grumbled a little and crossed over to a large chest in the corner that they never used. Yuuri closed the bedroom door behind himself and leaned against it, watching his fiancé bend over and deftly unlock the ancient latches.
"There's no reason to go hunting around for our proper bedspread tonight," came Wolfram's low voice. "And if we'll be using this soon enough anyhow..." He straightened up and shook the hair from his face before looking back at Yuuri. His arms were full of a mass of soft, deep black fabric. "It's the Demon King's wedding quilt," he explained, his cheeks beginning to glow faintly. "My mother says I was conceived under this."
Now Yuuri was blushing, too, and the look Wolfram fixed him with didn't help.
What did Wolfram think was going to happen tonight? What had he himself thought would happen tonight? Or their wedding night? What had made him think he could make a decision like this?
He loved Wolfram. There was no question about that. Needed him, even. He loved being with him and even sharing his bed, liked watching him and getting to touch him. He'd thought that getting married would ensure that things stayed like this. It was all Yuuri needed, he was sure now. He'd tried kissing, once, with a girl from school on Earth, but it was nothing spectacular. Then, when he'd told Conrad about it, and how he didn't understand what all the fuss was about, Conrad had actually been angry with him, saying that Wolfram took the engagement more seriously than Yuuri knew. For a long time, that incident had scared Yuuri, as it was the first and only time Conrad had really told him off. But that was four years ago, and over time the fear that his relationship with Wolfram was dangerously out of balance began to fade and he eventually decided that Conrad must have meant merely that Wolfram's pride was tied up in the engagement. All in all, however, Yuuri had learned that it wasn't worth pursuing the same adolescent goals as his classmates, and he hadn't really looked at anyone since.
And here Wolfram was, spreading the wedding quilt over their bed, forcing him to think of what weddings usually entailed and what people usually used their beds for... what married people were expected to do.
Wolfram looked up and raised his eyebrows at Yuuri. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." He tried to smile reassuringly, but must have failed miserably, judging from the look on the other boy's face.
Wolfram frowned a little and crossed the room to where Yuuri still stood against the door. He lifted a hand to Yuuri's face, sliding his thumb slowly down his cheek. Yuuri tried desperately not to tremble. Wolfram had touched him like this before, of course-- when he was upset, Wolfram always comforted him. And it always felt like this, the warmth in Yuuri's stomach and pleasurable ache in his chest from this small intimacy between best friends...
Wolfram was gazing absently at his own hand on Yuuri's cheek. When he spoke, his voice was low again, slightly thick. "I assume Gunter told you about the long tradition of kings taking mistresses?"
Yuuri's breath caught. Was Wolfram seriously about to tell him to cheat? A thousand protests sounded in his head, but he could only nod slightly and wait for Wolfram to finish.
"Well," Wolfram continued softly, the hand on Yuuri's cheek trailing down to his neck. He paused again for a long time, and when he finally raised his eyes he was wearing an expression Yuuri hadn't seen for years-- "Not with me," he growled. "Do you understand? If you're planning to take some woman to bed--" Wolfram's hand tightened into a fist on the side of Yuuri's neck. He didn't finish. He didn't need to.
Yuuri felt dizzy. The angry fist so near his throat... He knew-- he knew, with more certainty than he'd ever known anything else-- that Wolfram would never hurt him. But he also saw that sometimes Wolfram wished he could. Several sharp memories came to mind of Wolfram's sword pointed at Yuuri's heart, the half-serious threats, the murderous glances at Conrad and Murata... That fierce possessiveness had seemed to diminish over time, as Yuuri and Wolfram grew closer and settled into their little family, but maybe it had only seemed that way to Yuuri, when in reality Yuuri had simply stopped giving him cause for jealousy. At least, as far as Wolfram knew.
At last, Yuuri swallowed hard and managed to say, "Don't worry. It never even occurred to me that I would want anyone else." He let out the breath he'd been holding as Wolfram relaxed, releasing his fist so that his hand was a comforting weight on Yuuri's shoulder.
But Yuuri could no longer deny the possibility that Wolfram's feelings were more than friendly, his jealousy more than simple pride. And if that was true, if Wolfram loved him in that way, then all that was wrong, all that was keeping their family from being complete, was Yuuri himself. It was almost enough to make him wish he was gay.
Almost.
Because if Yuuri had been attracted to Wolfram, this would have been much more awkward. He wouldn't have been able to feel so comfortable here, pinned against the door, soothed simply by the waves of heat from Wolfram's close body.
It was so comfortable, in fact, that Yuuri wanted more. He lifted his hands from his sides and slid them over Wolfram's hips, feeling the usual hazy joy at the contact, and pulled him closer.
Then Wolfram moaned and suddenly everything was different. There was a hand at the back of Yuuri's head, twisting in his hair, tilting his face upwards and his mouth--
And Yuuri wanted this. In the most friendly way possible he wanted Wolfram's lips against his, their bodies pressing together... He just wanted... He wanted more of Wolfram. So he opened his mouth, unashamed of the small sound he made when Wolfram took full advantage of the invitation. He wanted Wolfram to know how much he loved him... He moved his hands up Wolfram's back and the other boy moved that final centimeter forward and...
Oh. Yuuri could feel against his hip-- There was only one thing that could be.
Yuuri paused for a moment. Was that what they were doing? Even as he wondered in the back of his mind, the rest of him was still being assaulted by a hundred irresistible sensations and, unexpectedly, the knowledge that Wolfram wanted him was... exciting.
But there was nothing wrong with that. There was no reason he shouldn't want to be closer to his friend, to want to make him happy in every way possible. He didn't know why other people did things like this, or what lust felt like, but he was sure it wasn't like this, and what he felt wasn't like what other people felt. This was something that only applied to him and Wolfram-- it was unique, a phenomenon, a glorious discovery, that someone could love another person so completely and blindly.... He wanted to be with Wolfram because he was Wolfram and he wasn't scared anymore and it didn't even matter if Wolfram felt the same way because nothing could take away what Yuuri had found...
By this point, Yuuri was moaning unabashedly into Wolfram's mouth, feeling so dizzy that it seemed the world had contracted to include only their two bodies, now moving against each other in a way that soon made Yuuri break the kiss to gasp sharply against Wolfram's lips. Their eyes met.
This was enough to make Wolfram take a quick step back, taking his hands away to press them against the wall on either side of Yuuri's suddenly cold body.
"We should slow down," Wolfram said quietly. He was breathing hard, but Yuuri couldn't feel it because they were too far apart!
"Why?" Yuuri choked, over the consuming need for more. Then he saw the look of uncertainty-- no, it was actually fear-- on Wolfram's face. Without thinking, he stepped forward and pressed himself against Wolfram once more. "... I love you." And Wolfram gasped, and shut his eyes tight, his arms trembling at Yuuri's sides.
Yuuri didn't know he could feel this good. He held on until Wolfram, flushed and panting, shook him off and straightened up, though he didn't meet Yuuri's eye.
Yuuri smiled reassuringly and moved in closer once more, resting his forehead on Wolfram's shoulder. A strange desire had come over him. Well, several, really, but one in particular that caught his attention. He wanted to know...
He slid a hand into Wolfram's uniform.
"What are you doing?" Yuuri didn't answer. He'd already found the place where Wolfram's stomach was slick with the still-warm liquid. Slowly, deliberately, he withdrew his hand and brought it to his mouth.
Wolfram was very still for a moment. The he let his grip go slack where he'd been holding Yuuri. He began to back away. Yuuri, forced to support his own weight, looked up, but his friend wouldn't meet his eye. Wolfram continued to step back, and it seemed to Yuuri an eternity that his fiancé walked away from him. Eventually, however, Wolfram hit the bed, sat down hard, and grabbed the bedpost for support.
"I have more to lose than you," he said. "I have seven years of..." He cut himself off, clenched his jaw, his face taking on a dangerous flush. "Seven years! And after all this time, now that you've realized it's too late and you're stuck with me-- for Greta's sake, or maybe because you're afraid of what I might do if you throw me over-- now you suddenly decide that you're in love with me?"
No, Yuuri thought, he's got it all wrong. Without thinking, just to correct the misunderstanding, Yuuri said, "I didn't say I was in love with you."
As soon as he'd spoken, he realized it was a mistake. Wolfram's angry flush deepened, and he finally met Yuuri's eyes. Yuuri felt a familiar shock at the hot rage in that look-- it was almost hate.
"I think we should go to bed," said Wolfram. He stood up and turned away, going over to the dresser on the far side of the bed. Yuuri was left suddenly very alone, for all that they were still in the same room. The euphoria he'd felt only a moment ago had vanished, leaving him cold, and more lonely than he'd been since he was possessed, trapped in his own mind. Then Wolfram started to undress, and Yuuri had to turn away, blushing now with shame and confusion-- he wasn't even sure what had just happened!-- and make his way to the screen behind which he always changed.
There was already something there, however, and Yuuri almost cried out when he realized that it was, in fact, more of a someone, wrapped up in their missing duvet. But the auburn curls poking out, still half arranged in the remains of an elegant hairstyle, told him that it was merely Greta. He smiled despite himself. She used to sneak into their room on nights when bad dreams interrupted her sleep, whenever she felt lonely or scared. She hadn't come since she'd turned thirteen and declared herself a grown-up. Yuuri felt some of the warmth return to his chest at the thought that she would still come to her parents for comfort.
Then he remembered what had just taken place-- But, no, Greta would never stand for that. If she'd heard anything, she would have made her presence known, told them off for being so indiscreet, and stormed off in her dramatic, teen-aged way. No, she had to be fast asleep.
He was about to tell Wolfram-- maybe it would relieve some of the tension-- but thought better of it, preferring to let his daughter sleep rather than force her to face an already-irate Wolfram who was never very pleased when she disappeared, especially in the midst of formal events when she should be charming their guests.
"Actually," he said to Wolfram, whose back was still turned. "I think I'm going to have a bath before bed."
Wolfram's only response was a small shrug of his bare shoulders. Yuuri wanted to touch him again. But Wolfram didn't want--
Yuuri shook his head to clear it, and left for the bath. He could still taste Wolfram.
* * *
Once both of her fathers had fallen asleep, which took a very long time, and Wolfram's snores finally filled the bedchamber, Greta unwrapped herself from the bloodied bedspread enough to stand, somewhat unsteadily, and with difficulty make her way around the screen and out the door. There was one guard, down at the end of the corridor, but he was apparently still drunk from the night before and sat slumped against the wall, clearly dozing.
She hardly felt the pain of her injuries as she ran to her room, so desperate was she to get to her own bed, privacy, and safety. Away from fathers who would see her and guess what had happened, away from men and their.... noises. She shuddered. But here was her door, and here, at last, her own room. She bolted the door behind her, knowing she would have to work quickly, as it was nearly dawn and time for the maids to come around.
She let the duvet fall from her shoulders, tore off what remained of her once-elegant ball gown, and pulled the last pins out of her hair. For water she had only the bowl and pitcher provided for face- and hand-washing, so she had to be conservative and use all her spare linens. First and most important was the blood between her legs. Even if that was all she could do, it would still be enough to save her.
She succeeded, in the end, in removing the worst of the blood and dirt from her body and face. Her hair was hopelessly tangled, but she might be able to pass that off as the effects of sleeping imprudently on a fancy hairstyle, and there were bruises, which would have to be explained. After hours of thinking, she hadn't come up with anything better than falling out of a tree, which was, if suspicious, at least not wholly unbelievable. She dressed herself first in her usual nightgown, but found that, even with underwear, it felt too exposed, too open, so she was compelled to put on a pair of men's pajamas Yuuri had given her for cold winter nights.
There were several loose floorboards around the room, some of which Greta herself had loosened, after Yuuri showed her how, so that she would have more secret hiding places. Yuuri was the only one that knew about them, and they had agreed that whatever she put there was hers and no one else was allowed to look, ever. She trusted with all her heart that he would keep his promise. Besides which, he should have no reason to suspect she was hiding something as significant as a bundle of torn and blood-stained clothes...
With one-- she paused, watching the light glint off its blade, considering, wondering for a moment if she might be doing the wrong thing after all, before finally adding it to the stash-- one ritual suicide knife.
She replaced the floorboard, unlocked the door, crawled into bed, and waited for morning.
* * *
Wolfram woke up, as usual, after Yuuri had already gone, and ate hurriedly while the wimp was out performing his morning "exercises" with Weller. He stopped by Greta's room, wishing to tell her about the impending marriage-- there would be a marriage, Wolfram had decided that; no matter what Yuuri did, Wolfram wouldn't let him take that away-- before she heard about it from someone else. However, he was informed that she was asleep, and Gisela had been by. Apparently, the princess had not only been sneaking out of parties, but climbing (and falling out of) trees, likely a sign of too much wine. Wolfram felt a lurch of guilt thinking about it. He had been the one who gave her permission to drink, despite Yuuri's protests that she was too young. Still, Wolfram could not regret his decision in insisting that she be educated in the appreciation of fine liquor as well as dance, art, music, and literature. He just had a hard time judging age when it came to Humans. Wasn't Greta too old to be climbing trees? Of course, when he was fifteen he hadn't been allowed to climb trees, but then again, when he was her "age," he had already been in the world seventy-five years, and had been far too old for such nonsense.
He sighed and rubbed his face in frustration on his way out of the castle. It was all very confusing, and he would have to talk to Yuuri about what was going on with their daughter, but there were other issues surrounding his fiancé that would probably need to be worked out before they could have a real conversation about anything. And even before that, before he even made a move, before he saw Yuuri again, he had to check one thing.
"I need to speak to the sage," he told the Shrine Maidens, and they let him through to the courtyard, where Murata Ken seemed to be waiting for him. It was things like this, and the way the light sometimes caught on his glasses to obscure his eyes, which was why the Great Sage made so many people uncomfortable, Wolfram included. He couldn't stop himself from commenting. "Were you expecting me?"
The sage grinned and cocked his head to the side. "Of course." He held this pose for a moment, seeming to scrutinize Wolfram's face, then burst out laughing. "It's no trick, Sir Bielefield; the truth is I was taking a walk around the ramparts and saw you coming from a good ways off."
By this time, Wolfram was aware that his face was twisted in a scowl, but right now he didn't care how discourteous he was to second-most powerful man in the world. "Look, Sage," he snapped. "I've actually got something important to ask you. Do you think you can control yourself enough to listen?"
Still chuckling, the sage nodded, then snapped his attention back to its previous unsettling intensity. "It's about Shibuya, yes? Congratulations again about the wedding..."
Wolfram cut him off with a movement of his hand. "Yes, it's to do with Yuuri. Which is why, I feel I should warn you, if you aren't completely honest with me in your answer, I shall have to consider it treason and be forced to deal with you myself. Do you understand?" After another nod and a faint smile that made him even more uneasy, Wolfram took a breath and continued. "Is Shinou around? Have you spoken to him at any time recently?"
The sage's eyebrows shot up. "No, not for years. Why?"
Wolfram swallowed. "Yuuri's acting... strange. I wondered if he might be, well--"
"Possessed?" Murata finished for him. "I doubt it. Shibuya already threw Shinou quite forcefully out of his mind; I don't think a second possession is very likely in his case."
Wolfram nodded, feeling the old shame at not being able to fight off the presence of the Original King on either of the two occasions he'd been consumed by it. He knew it was unreasonable to compare himself to Yuuri, or to consider that his power might approach being equal to Shinou's, but still the self-reproach, that it was a weakness of will, remained.
"How strange has he been acting, exactly?" At least the sage's tone was appropriately tinged with worry.
Heat rose swiftly and humiliatingly in Wolfram's cheeks. He didn't have an answer, for all that he'd spent hours the night before trying to think of one. So, instead of responding, he cleared his throat and declared, "I think that's all you need to know, Sage. I thank you for your assistance."
Wolfram was reasonably satisfied that Yuuri was not possessed, which left him with absolutely no explanation for Yuuri's behavior last night.
He had been, perhaps foolishly, so ready to believe that his feelings were at last returned. Yuuri's renewed proposal, and the way he'd acted all evening, Wolfram had dared to hope indicated some sort of romantic interest. And then Yuuri had touched his hips so intimately, almost possessively, and drawn him close... And, when Wolfram finally gave in and did what he'd wanted to do for seven years, Yuuri had kissed him back! It had seemed sudden, yes, but wonderful.
But Yuuri had kept going, and Wolfram had been so surprised he didn't know what to do. If he hadn't pulled away, he would never have forgiven himself for plundering the purity of the moment, marring it with unnecessary haste.
But this was the cruelest part of the night's events-- when Yuuri had said those words that Wolfram had been so desperate to hear for so long that he came immediately. And, according to Yuuri himself, it had been a lie. Wolfram had humiliated himself, laid bare his deepest feelings and desires, over some hollow utterance from a cheating wimp.
As for what Yuuri did next... Wolfram could find no explanation at all. The rest might be attributed, however painful it was, to a natural desire not to live a life completely without sex, even if it was without love. But.... that.... was simply bizarre. Wolfram was actually beginning to question whether it had really happened, whether it might have been a strange dream brought on by the confusion of the wedding announcement. But, no, it had been real, the feeling of shock still fresh in the pit of his stomach.
Where had Yuuri, his sweet innocent Yuuri, only twenty-two years in the world and never showing any signs of sexuality before now, gotten an idea like that?
It was at this point in his thoughts, as he sat at his desk ostensibly reading, that the door behind him opened and Yuuri said, "Wolfram?"
God, the sound of his voice sent a painful wave of heat through Wolfram's body. This was worse than it had ever been.
"Are you still angry?" Yuuri asked softly, over the sound of the closing door.
Wolfram had to take a moment to compose himself before he could grind out, "Of course I am."
Yuuri was silent for a moment, but stepped closer, until Wolfram could feel him just at his shoulder. "I'm sorry... But... I don't understand what I did wrong. I just..." He paused. "Wasn't it what you wanted?" he finished in a small voice.
"No," said Wolfram. "No, it wasn't." He tried desperately not to look like he was trying not to look at Yuuri. "I never wanted that."
There was another pause. Wolfram heard Yuuri's breathing change, and when the wimp spoke again, his voice was choked. "I don't understand," he repeated.
Wolfram slammed his book shut with an impressive boom and twisted around in his chair to face Yuuri at last. "You don't understand? What is there to understand? You were fucking with me, teasing me, and you knew-- you just admitted it, you knew-- how much I'd been waiting for something like that to happen. You don't love me--"
"I do love you!" Yuuri cried. His face was ridiculous, his cheeks pink in his agitation and tears pooling in his eyes. There was a disconcerting desperation in his expression, and his eyes were wide as if to emphasize his point, begging Wolfram to believe him. "I love you so much..."
It wasn't fair.
Then Yuuri touched him, delicately, fearfully, brushing his fingers against the place where Wolfram's jaw met his throat. "I just want to be close to you."
That was too much. Wolfram had to stop this before he gave in to the scent and heat of Yuuri so close to him, the touch, the earnest face, the words that were so seductive... If Yuuri kissed him, which he seemed to be about to do, Wolfram would be lost. Again.
No. Wolfram stood up quickly, which involved knocking his chair over and forcing Yuuri to straighten and back away slightly, looking frightened.
"Stop it," Wolfram snarled. "I don't know what you're trying to do with me, or why you're doing it, but it has to stop. Do you understand that?"
Suddenly, Yuuri seemed to lose any semblance of composure. "WHY?" he screamed, and abruptly it was Wolfram who was afraid, who took an involuntary step backwards. But surely he couldn't have upset Yuuri enough for him to transform... And anyways, he had control over that now. Usually.
Yuuri pressed his palms to his temples, breathing heavily through the tears and never taking his eyes off of Wolfram. "Why?" he said again, and this time it was more of a sob than anything else.
The urge was strong to give him anything he asked for, to comfort him and never hurt him again. But he'd sacrificed enough for Yuuri over the years-- given up his whole life to protect him and love him, even going so far as to sleep in his bed despite the torture of knowing his feelings were not returned. But Wolfram's pride and sense of self-preservation could only be stretched so far. So he spoke deliberately, almost calmly, though he knew his anger, hurt, and resentment must show on his face. "Because I want a real marriage, and what you want... What you want is for me to play the whore."
For a moment, Yuuri was so still that Wolfram thought he must have stopped breathing. Then, every muscle still visibly tensed, he said, "You... Wh--" He stopped and was still for another moment before he was able to speak more coherently. "Because of... what I did?"
Wolfram closed his eyes and sighed, tired of repeating himself, tired of hurting, tired of all of this. "Yes, Yuuri. Because of what you did. And, even worse, that you did it without loving me."
"I keep telling you--"
Wolfram's eyes snapped open and he took a threatening step forward. "Then why did you say you weren't in love with me?"
"Because I'm not like that... I'm not... gay."
Which was the last thing Wolfram expected to hear. It was so absurd, after last night, that he had no response. He stared, and Yuuri's cheeks grew redder, the blush spreading in seconds until his entire face was dark with it. And for the first time since he came in, Yuuri was avoiding Wolfram's eyes. Another moment, and he was trembling.
"Oh my God," said Wolfram, as comprehension began to dawn on him. "Is that what this is all about? You told me you weren't in love with me because you didn't want to be called gay? Do you know how insane that is? How abysmally stupid? No one cares here, Yuuri. I thought you understood that."
"It doesn't matter who cares," Yuuri mumbled. "I'm not."
There was a long pause in which Wolfram tried to decide whether he was angry or not. On the one hand, the fact that Yuuri had hurt him so much over something so small made it even worse, but on the other hand, there was only so much one could expect from a foolish wimp raised among Humans. In the end, it was the terrible shame in Yuuri's expression, in the very way he was standing, his head bowed and his arms crossed defensively in front of him, that tried Wolfram's self-restraint to the breaking point. Anger slipped away from him, and he took those few steps forward that brought him to Yuuri.
Yuuri didn't look up, but he stopped shaking when Wolfram slid his arms around him, and he rested his head on Wolfram's shoulder. His breath came hot, wet, uneven, against Wolfram's neck.
Eventually, Yuuri began to speak against Wolfram's neck. "It didn't seem dirty to me," he said slowly. "That thing I did. I just wanted you... all of you..."
"Idiot," Wolfram muttered, but he didn't dare say more. He was dizzy just knowing that Yuuri did love him, even if the wimp was too stupid to call it that. Instead, he brought a hand up to the back of Yuuri's head, half comforting him and half selfishly enjoying the feel and smell of Yuuri's hair, wondering if it would be wise to try and exchange that wonderful weight on his shoulder for the even more enticing prospect of a kiss.
Before he could decide, Yuuri spoke again. "Are we okay now? Can we..."
When it was apparent that he wasn't going to finish his sentence, Wolfram answered him. "Yes. And I'm sor--"
He cut himself off with a gasp, his whole body stiffening in shock and arousal. Had Yuuri just licked him? His grip in Yuuri's hair tightened.
Yuuri froze. "God-- I messed up again, didn't I?-- I'm so sorry! I--"
"Shut up," Wolfram breathed. "And do that again."
This time Wolfram couldn't keep back a quiet moan. Each push of Yuuri's tongue was bolder and more forceful than the last, and the trail of wetness left behind cooled deliciously in the air... He never would have expected that such an odd thing could feel so good... Then it was his jaw, his ear, for goodness sake, and it was wonderful. The most amazing part was that Yuuri was doing it unintentionally, innocently...
And now Yuuri paused and drew back a little to meet Wolfram's eyes. However, Wolfram took the opportunity almost immediately to tug his fiancé roughly into a kiss. Just as the night before, Yuuri responded with so much enthusiasm that it almost undid Wolfram right then.
But once again, he had to stop it before it got too far. He broke the kiss and pulled away. When Yuuri whimpered, looking as if he was about to rush forward as he'd done last night, Wolfram summoned all of his willpower, and said, "One of us has got to have some self-control. Since you're too much of a wimp, I suppose it's up to me. We have to wait, Yuuri," he added, in response to a desperate look. "We're getting married in two weeks. Surely you can wait two weeks?"
From the look on Yuuri's face, one would think Wolfram had asked him to wait several decades. Finally, Yuuri said, "But... I mean, we could have been doing this for years, right? We... we have to make up for lost time!"
Wolfram laughed and judged it safe to step forward again and cradle Yuuri's cheek in his hand. "Calm down, Wimp. We have all our lives to do this. Two weeks is nothing in the face of several hundred years--" Wolfram stopped himself, but it was too late. Yuuri turned slightly green and stumbled backwards. "Oh God," Wolfram groaned as he reached out to steady him. "What a stupid thing to say-- I'm so sorry, Yuuri..."
Yuuri shook his head. "No, it's okay... I have to... to accept it sometime." After a pause he looked up at Wolfram. "How do you stand it?" he whispered. "You must think about it all the time; she grows so fast to you... She's catching up to us, isn't she?"
Wolfram nodded. He did think about it all the time-- the fact that Greta would die of old age in their lifetime. But the mere fact that he did feel it every day seemed to dull the pain to a constant ache, rather than the sudden terror that occasionally hit Yuuri whenever he was reminded of how long his life would be. He sighed. "We should go and talk to her about last night." Strangely enough, being around Greta seemed to help Yuuri forget the awful future, probably because he always hid his fear from her, tucking it away in some back corner of his mind.
Yuuri nodded. "What did she say this morning? I heard you went to talk to her."
"She was still asleep when I went by. Apparently she had some bruises and--"
"I know; I talked to Gisela."
"So you didn't see Greta either?"
"No. I thought you did."
They looked at each other guiltily.
Eventually, Yuuri said miserably, "We really should talk to her, then."
Wolfram nodded, sighing. Greta would no doubt be furious that they had forgotten her, but would be too proud to admit it, and instead she would probably be in a bad mood all day.
* * *
There was only one more conversation left before Greta could know that the events of last night were truly behind her. She was furious, therefore, when her fathers made her wait in apprehension until it was nearly supper time. When they finally did seek her out, finding her studying in the library, it was obvious what had occupied them all day.
She was glad they'd made up, however, and perhaps gone a bit further than that, because they were too busy looking at each other and pretending not to that they didn't catch the expressions she was only half-able to hide. They also didn't comment on, or didn't notice, the fact that she had moved her desk so that she could sit with the back of her chair against the wall. It felt safer this way.
Yuuri took a seat at the neighboring desk while Wolfram leaned against a bookshelf. When she was younger, Greta had tried to imitate his particular way of leaning, but it didn't work nearly as well in a dress.
Wolfram now focused a serious gaze on her, at least momentarily. "Greta, what happened last night?"
"Hmph," said Greta, in a disdainful gesture she'd picked up from Wolfram himself. "Why don't you tell me? Apparently there's some huge, wonderful news that no one will tell me because you two supposedly wanted to tell me directly." She glared at them, and they exchanged guilty looks.
It was true that she didn't know what the big news was. If they'd talked about it the night before, she wouldn't know. The tones of their voices, and, God, their animal noises, reached her through the blanket that covered her ears, but the individual words were muffled, and she hadn't tried to pick them out. What wasn't true was that she cared. She had no interest in whatever they could have to tell her.
It really was rather convenient that she'd found her parents so irritating lately. It meant that her attitude today was nothing unusual.
Yuuri spoke this time. "We're getting married. In two weeks."
There was silence for a moment as Greta tried to figure out how she would have reacted to this yesterday, when she would have cared.
Well, she'd been waiting for them to finally make it official ever since Yuuri had adopted her and Wolfram claimed her as his daughter as well, by right of the engagement. So she grinned as best she could, and said, "Oh! That's wonderful! We'll finally be a real family!" She couldn't bring herself to stand up and hug them, as she might have done twenty-four hours ago, so she stumbled on to change the subject. "What made you decide just now?"
Yuuri blushed and shrugged. "It just seemed like time." Greta was forced to wonder if this meant that they had finally started to make use of their bed.
Thankfully, Wolfram cut in then. "What happened to you last night, Greta?"
She looked away, trying to summon a blush so they would think she was telling some shameful truth rather than a calculated lie. "... I had too much wine. I'm sorry! I guess I just lost track of how many glasses I'd had... At some point, I realized I was drunk, so I left the party. I was so embarrassed! And then when I was walking in the garden I saw someone coming and I didn't want anyone to see me drunk so I climbed a tree. I know it was stupid. And I was really dizzy and all, of course, so when I tried to come down from the tree, I fell." She hung her head as if in contrition, which had the added bonus of shielding her face slightly with the stray locks of hair that had escaped from her loose bun.
There was a pause, then Yuuri said, "It's okay," and reached over to cover her hand with his. She wanted to take her hand away. She wanted them to leave her alone. But she bit her cheek and withstood the touch. "But no more alcohol," he added.
Wolfram made a disapproving noise, but didn't argue. Greta just nodded.
Then it was time for supper, and that was the end of the conversation, and Greta was satisfied that no one would ever know what happened.
* * *
That night turned out to be something of a problem for Yuuri. He suspected that the only reason Wolfram had demanded they "wait" was to torture him. Apparently they were allowed to kiss, but whenever Yuuri came too close, if their bodies touched at all, he would be pushed away. It was maddening. Especially when they were in bed and just at that point where they had to break the kiss every few seconds to catch their breath, and Wolfram suddenly pulled away, rolled over, and said, "Goodnight, Yuuri."
Yuuri sat up to protest, but realized he had nothing to say. He couldn't argue, and he was unwilling to beg for fear of being called names again. So he sighed and let himself fall back onto the pillows. "Goodnight," he said sullenly.
Several hours later, Yuuri was still staring up at the canopy, far too aware of the boy next to him. Wolfram hadn't moved or begun to snore the entire time. Yuuri might have wondered if he were still alive, except that he could feel the heat of his body and feel the covers moving ever-so-slightly with each breath.
Were they supposed to go two weeks without sleeping?
"This is terrible," Yuuri said, when he'd decided he'd really had enough.
Wolfram's reply had a smirk built right in it. "Now you know what I went through for seven years, Wimp."
"I can't believe you never did anything about it."
"Yeah, maybe I should have ravished you a long time ago. Look-- you knew what I wanted. If you'd wanted the same thing you would have done something."
Yuuri turned on his side, facing Wolfram's back. "I just didn't know I wanted it. I didn't know it could be like that-- like this..." His breath had already begun to quicken with all kinds of excitement. He swallowed it down. "I mean, when I kissed before it was just sort of awkward and weird."
Wolfram tensed visibly, and Yuuri was left in suspense for a moment before he spoke. "What? Who did you kiss?"
"It was just once, a long time ago, with a girl back on Earth. Like I said, I didn't like it much. I'm sorry, though." He reached out and touched Wolfram's back.
"Hmph. Well, it's a good thing you didn't tell me before, because I probably would have found a way to get to Earth and find her."
"So you forgive me?" Yuuri asked, and kissed his shoulder.
Wolfram finally rolled over to face him, though they couldn't really see each other in the dark. "Yes." But he sat up, and added, "There is a punishment, however. I'm going to sleep in the barracks until the wedding."
"Wolfram!" Yuuri whined. But he knew that it wasn't really a punishment; it was in the interest of both their sanities. Still, as Wolfram stood, Yuuri managed to catch him in the dark and pull him down for one more kiss.
"I'm still leaving," Wolfram said breathlessly, when Yuuri finally released him. "I'll see you tomorrow." And he slipped away. There was the sound of an opening drawer, a rustle of clothing, and the door opening and shutting, too quickly for Yuuri even to catch a glimpse of his fiancé in the half-light of the corridor.
Once again, Yuuri sighed and flopped back down on the suddenly-vast bed.
* * *
A/N: I don't typically start posting fics before they are completed, but it's been so long since I've had anything to offer! I'm also hoping that this will help my motivation. So this is the first part of the longish fic that has kept me occupied for longer than I care to say. I don't yet know how often I'll be posting updates, but with luck I might be done with the whole thing in a few months.
Concrit is very welcome, especially since this is still a work in progress!
Chapter II
Chapter III
Chapter IV
Chapter V
Chapter VI
Author: Melusine
Beta: toshimalfoy
Rating: NC-17, as always
Pairing: WolfYuu/Yuuram
Warnings this part: None, apart from the rating.
Overall warnings: Angst, violence, incest, dubious consent/statutory rape, issues of forcible rape
Spoilers: Through season 2. May increase later.
Disclaimer: Kyou Kara Maou! and related characters, situations, etc. belong to Tomo Takabayashi and various other people/companies, none of whom are me. This is a fan work; no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: It's been seven years since Yuuri became the Demon King, proposed to Wolfram, and adopted Greta. When the relationship between Yuuri and Wolfram begins to shift, and Greta is attacked, everything changes and old wounds are exposed.
Part: 1/?
Chapter I
Greta was fifteen, and every day the kingdom turned away from her a little more. A young king taking in a child was one thing, but a full-fledged Human princess in the Demon court was quite another. She had come of age two years ago, and thanks to the precedent set by her adopted father's legendary proposal, she was now old enough to be engaged. This made her the subject of heated debate inside the castle and endless gossip outside of it. It also meant that Blood Pledge Castle was now host to a formal ball every few months, as custom required for the princess to meet foreign nobles. No one had yet shown the courage to outwardly court the High King's daughter, however, possibly because he, who found the speed at which Greta was maturing more than a little alarming, spent much of his time watching her out of the corner of his eye with one hand on the hilt of his sword.
But he spent even more of his time occupied with Yuuri.
"Wolfram," Yuuri said quietly one evening as they sat at the back of the ballroom, taking a respite from the commotion of the crowds of dancers and gossipers. "I've been thinking, with all this talk of Greta being of age..."
Wolfram growled.
"I was just thinking," Yuuri continued quickly over the warning sound, "that if she's old enough to be betrothed, then I'm-- I'm certainly old enough to be married." He blushed only slightly as he said it, and fixed Wolfram with a serious look.
He shouldn't be surprised, Wolfram told himself. He had expected something like this for seven years. He'd never given much thought as to how it would happen, however, and didn't appreciate the way the wimp was doing it, here, surrounded by party guests so that Wolfram wouldn't protest and make a scene.
But of course Yuuri would want to be free of this accidental engagement, and he was right in that he was old enough to find a "real" relationship. Wolfram looked away and said, "Whatever you wish." It was all he could manage under the weight of the thought of being banned from Yuuri's bed, of having no excuse to touch him and be around him, of losing his position as Greta's father.
Yuuri was silent for several minutes, and Wolfram could feel him watching him. Finally, he said, "Of course, I never meant to trap you into anything, Wolfram. You're free to break it off. I just... I suppose I thought you wanted to marry me... After all this time you haven't--"
Wolfram blinked and looked quickly over at his fiancé. "You're talking about you and me. Getting married."
Yuuri blushed harder. "Yes." He met Wolfram's eyes.
The sounds of the room came back to Wolfram's ears, and he could breathe again. "Well, we are engaged," he replied with a smile. "I did expect that we would be married at some point."
Yuuri, too, seemed to let out a breath he was holding. "Good. There's a full moon in about two weeks. I think we can be ready by then, don't you?"
Wolfram nodded. His head was buzzing and his pulse quickened in contrast to the slow chill of only a few moments ago. "I'll talk to my mother at once. She'll want to help with the preparations." He stood abruptly, suddenly feeling the desperate need for air, and left Yuuri to watch him walk away with wide, thoughtful black eyes.
Wolfram did go to find his mother, as leaving by himself, even for a moment, would hardly be seemly, but he took his time getting there, finding space to think as he wove through the crowd towards her distinctive voice. He didn't know what this meant, really. Yuuri had never shown interest in Wolfram since that famous slap, though as he matured he had quieted his protests, stopped talking about how ridiculous it was for two men to be married, stopped openly flirting with women, and Wolfram, likewise, had given up much of his possessiveness. He had almost given up completely, but not so much that he didn't still wear his mother's nightgown to bed and pause to collect himself every time Yuuri touched him.
Either Yuuri's feelings had changed and this was his wimpy way of showing it, or he had decided that a loveless marriage was worth it to keep Wolfram happy and part of their little family.
Thinking of Greta made Wolfram realize that he'd lost track of her in his conversation with Yuuri. He looked around for her, but had no luck before he was spotted by his mother and immediately trapped in her overzealous embrace.
* * *
Greta slipped out to the gardens while the adults were all occupied with each other, and sat for a while in the dark. There was no moon and the stars shone clearly and brightly, too numerous for her to be able to pick out any constellations. She took off her dancing shoes with a sigh and thought about sneaking off to bed. She'd spent all evening being a good princess, socializing and smiling and dancing with all the important guests, and she was exhausted. If she disappeared in the middle of the ball, however, Wolfram would be furious in the morning and she would be given extra exercises in her sword training, something she hated not so much for the physical strain as because Wolfram often corrected her technique by standing behind her, wrapping his arms around her, laying his sweating hands over hers and breathing directions into her ear... and that made her flush and feel all sorts of things that no girl ought to feel towards even a foster father.
She didn't hear them approach, lost in thoughts of shame as she was, and her cry was quickly smothered. Face down in the dirt. They held her down. Suddenly there was no room in the world for anything but pain.
* * *
Yuuri had learned many things since he'd accepted the role of the Demon King, but there were still times when he needed reminders, and when the ballroom began buzzing over Cheri's unceremonious announcement of their wedding date, Conrad had to catch his eye and give a little nod towards the dance floor before Yuuri figured out he should probably give his guests a dance between the happy couple.
Wolfram was waiting for him in the center of the floor, and the crowd parted respectfully for his approach, something that still made him feel self-conscious and a little silly. As he held out his hand to his fiancé, Yuuri reflected that the nice thing about being High King was that it meant he only ever had to learn the leading role of each dance. Wolfram had to know how to lead and follow, and he performed each as gracefully as he handled his sword.
Being close to Wolfram was always somehow comforting, even while dancing in front of a ballroom full of onlookers, and this time was no exception. His hand fit perfectly on his partner's hip, and Wolfram's hand on his shoulder was warm and soothing as the next song started up and they began to move.
"You're sure about this, Wimp?" Wolfram asked quietly, not looking at him.
In fact, Yuuri had been considering this for a very long time, weighing all possibilities. Otherwise, he wouldn't have asked. He wasn't eager to do anything stupid when it came to Wolfram, with whom there was so much to lose. But instead of answering, he said, "Are you?"
Wolfram was silent for a good four measures, and finally replied, "No."
Yuuri misstepped. That hadn't happened in three years. But Wolfram somehow covered it up, as he'd had to do often enough while Yuuri was still learning. "Well." Yuuri swallowed. "Don't do it if you don't want to."
A shorter pause, then Wolfram looked at him at last. "Oh, I want to." Something in that look, in that low voice, in the way he moved his hand slightly on Yuuri's shoulder, just enough to remind him it was there, vaporized Yuuri's certainty and suddenly he didn't know at all that he'd made the right decision. If he'd miscalculated Wolfram's feelings... "After all, this means I'll be king," Wolfram continued, his tone letting Yuuri relax, at least for the moment.
"How's that?" Yuuri asked, grinning. "Do you plan to kill me and usurp my throne?"
"Don't be stupid. I won't have to." He smirked. "Surely you didn't think I was going to be your queen?"
"No, I suppose not. But what does that make me?"
"The Great Demon King," Wolfram annunciated. "Just as before."
Yuuri was starting to breathe easier. Nothing was going to change, really, except that everything would be more secure. There would be no more suggestions that Wolfram be stationed elsewhere, or hints of proposals from the lesser nobility, and Greta would have a real family.
"Hey, Wolfram," said Yuuri abruptly. "Where's Greta? She isn't upset, is she?"
"I haven't seen her," Wolfram admitted, looking a little guilty. "I thought maybe she'd been to talk to you."
Yuuri shook his head, suddenly concerned. "I hope she's alright with all this. I thought she'd be happy..."
"I'm sure she is." Wolfram's voice was soothing. "Perhaps she thought we'd like to be left alone for a bit."
"Maybe." All the same, Yuuri worried through the rest of the dance, and could see Wolfram growing anxious as well. What if this wasn't what Greta wanted at all? Had she been hoping all this time for a mother...?
Some time later, however, when most of the guests had gone and only those who lived in the castle remained, Wolfram came up and whispered in Yuuri's ear that Greta had been seen sneaking out to the gardens some time before the announcement, and probably hadn't been back. Yuuri breathed a sigh of relief.
"She just slipped off to bed, then," he whispered. "We'll have to tell her in the morning."
Wolfram nodded. "Speaking of bed, do these people know where theirs are?"
Yuuri chuckled. Come to think of it, he was exhausted. He yawned, and the ballroom was quickly emptied-- another nice thing about being High King.
"Remember, you only get to use that wimpy trick once a year," Wolfram smirked at him on the way to their room. "Else everyone will be talking about how lazy you are."
"Yes, I'd hate for them to know the truth," Yuuri replied, slightly distractedly. He was starting to get nervous again. Wolfram's mood was odd-- a little more self-conscious than usual, a little more quick to smile.
Wolfram was first through the door, as he always was as the king's guardian, and so he was the first to say, "What in hell is wrong with our bed?"
In truth, only the duvet was missing, the rest of the sheets and blankets tucked in tightly and neatly as usual. Yuuri blinked, and said, "Well, the maids have been really busy getting ready for the party. Some things are bound to get left out."
Instead of launching into a tirade against the domestic staff as he usually would have done, Wolfram merely grumbled a little and crossed over to a large chest in the corner that they never used. Yuuri closed the bedroom door behind himself and leaned against it, watching his fiancé bend over and deftly unlock the ancient latches.
"There's no reason to go hunting around for our proper bedspread tonight," came Wolfram's low voice. "And if we'll be using this soon enough anyhow..." He straightened up and shook the hair from his face before looking back at Yuuri. His arms were full of a mass of soft, deep black fabric. "It's the Demon King's wedding quilt," he explained, his cheeks beginning to glow faintly. "My mother says I was conceived under this."
Now Yuuri was blushing, too, and the look Wolfram fixed him with didn't help.
What did Wolfram think was going to happen tonight? What had he himself thought would happen tonight? Or their wedding night? What had made him think he could make a decision like this?
He loved Wolfram. There was no question about that. Needed him, even. He loved being with him and even sharing his bed, liked watching him and getting to touch him. He'd thought that getting married would ensure that things stayed like this. It was all Yuuri needed, he was sure now. He'd tried kissing, once, with a girl from school on Earth, but it was nothing spectacular. Then, when he'd told Conrad about it, and how he didn't understand what all the fuss was about, Conrad had actually been angry with him, saying that Wolfram took the engagement more seriously than Yuuri knew. For a long time, that incident had scared Yuuri, as it was the first and only time Conrad had really told him off. But that was four years ago, and over time the fear that his relationship with Wolfram was dangerously out of balance began to fade and he eventually decided that Conrad must have meant merely that Wolfram's pride was tied up in the engagement. All in all, however, Yuuri had learned that it wasn't worth pursuing the same adolescent goals as his classmates, and he hadn't really looked at anyone since.
And here Wolfram was, spreading the wedding quilt over their bed, forcing him to think of what weddings usually entailed and what people usually used their beds for... what married people were expected to do.
Wolfram looked up and raised his eyebrows at Yuuri. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." He tried to smile reassuringly, but must have failed miserably, judging from the look on the other boy's face.
Wolfram frowned a little and crossed the room to where Yuuri still stood against the door. He lifted a hand to Yuuri's face, sliding his thumb slowly down his cheek. Yuuri tried desperately not to tremble. Wolfram had touched him like this before, of course-- when he was upset, Wolfram always comforted him. And it always felt like this, the warmth in Yuuri's stomach and pleasurable ache in his chest from this small intimacy between best friends...
Wolfram was gazing absently at his own hand on Yuuri's cheek. When he spoke, his voice was low again, slightly thick. "I assume Gunter told you about the long tradition of kings taking mistresses?"
Yuuri's breath caught. Was Wolfram seriously about to tell him to cheat? A thousand protests sounded in his head, but he could only nod slightly and wait for Wolfram to finish.
"Well," Wolfram continued softly, the hand on Yuuri's cheek trailing down to his neck. He paused again for a long time, and when he finally raised his eyes he was wearing an expression Yuuri hadn't seen for years-- "Not with me," he growled. "Do you understand? If you're planning to take some woman to bed--" Wolfram's hand tightened into a fist on the side of Yuuri's neck. He didn't finish. He didn't need to.
Yuuri felt dizzy. The angry fist so near his throat... He knew-- he knew, with more certainty than he'd ever known anything else-- that Wolfram would never hurt him. But he also saw that sometimes Wolfram wished he could. Several sharp memories came to mind of Wolfram's sword pointed at Yuuri's heart, the half-serious threats, the murderous glances at Conrad and Murata... That fierce possessiveness had seemed to diminish over time, as Yuuri and Wolfram grew closer and settled into their little family, but maybe it had only seemed that way to Yuuri, when in reality Yuuri had simply stopped giving him cause for jealousy. At least, as far as Wolfram knew.
At last, Yuuri swallowed hard and managed to say, "Don't worry. It never even occurred to me that I would want anyone else." He let out the breath he'd been holding as Wolfram relaxed, releasing his fist so that his hand was a comforting weight on Yuuri's shoulder.
But Yuuri could no longer deny the possibility that Wolfram's feelings were more than friendly, his jealousy more than simple pride. And if that was true, if Wolfram loved him in that way, then all that was wrong, all that was keeping their family from being complete, was Yuuri himself. It was almost enough to make him wish he was gay.
Almost.
Because if Yuuri had been attracted to Wolfram, this would have been much more awkward. He wouldn't have been able to feel so comfortable here, pinned against the door, soothed simply by the waves of heat from Wolfram's close body.
It was so comfortable, in fact, that Yuuri wanted more. He lifted his hands from his sides and slid them over Wolfram's hips, feeling the usual hazy joy at the contact, and pulled him closer.
Then Wolfram moaned and suddenly everything was different. There was a hand at the back of Yuuri's head, twisting in his hair, tilting his face upwards and his mouth--
And Yuuri wanted this. In the most friendly way possible he wanted Wolfram's lips against his, their bodies pressing together... He just wanted... He wanted more of Wolfram. So he opened his mouth, unashamed of the small sound he made when Wolfram took full advantage of the invitation. He wanted Wolfram to know how much he loved him... He moved his hands up Wolfram's back and the other boy moved that final centimeter forward and...
Oh. Yuuri could feel against his hip-- There was only one thing that could be.
Yuuri paused for a moment. Was that what they were doing? Even as he wondered in the back of his mind, the rest of him was still being assaulted by a hundred irresistible sensations and, unexpectedly, the knowledge that Wolfram wanted him was... exciting.
But there was nothing wrong with that. There was no reason he shouldn't want to be closer to his friend, to want to make him happy in every way possible. He didn't know why other people did things like this, or what lust felt like, but he was sure it wasn't like this, and what he felt wasn't like what other people felt. This was something that only applied to him and Wolfram-- it was unique, a phenomenon, a glorious discovery, that someone could love another person so completely and blindly.... He wanted to be with Wolfram because he was Wolfram and he wasn't scared anymore and it didn't even matter if Wolfram felt the same way because nothing could take away what Yuuri had found...
By this point, Yuuri was moaning unabashedly into Wolfram's mouth, feeling so dizzy that it seemed the world had contracted to include only their two bodies, now moving against each other in a way that soon made Yuuri break the kiss to gasp sharply against Wolfram's lips. Their eyes met.
This was enough to make Wolfram take a quick step back, taking his hands away to press them against the wall on either side of Yuuri's suddenly cold body.
"We should slow down," Wolfram said quietly. He was breathing hard, but Yuuri couldn't feel it because they were too far apart!
"Why?" Yuuri choked, over the consuming need for more. Then he saw the look of uncertainty-- no, it was actually fear-- on Wolfram's face. Without thinking, he stepped forward and pressed himself against Wolfram once more. "... I love you." And Wolfram gasped, and shut his eyes tight, his arms trembling at Yuuri's sides.
Yuuri didn't know he could feel this good. He held on until Wolfram, flushed and panting, shook him off and straightened up, though he didn't meet Yuuri's eye.
Yuuri smiled reassuringly and moved in closer once more, resting his forehead on Wolfram's shoulder. A strange desire had come over him. Well, several, really, but one in particular that caught his attention. He wanted to know...
He slid a hand into Wolfram's uniform.
"What are you doing?" Yuuri didn't answer. He'd already found the place where Wolfram's stomach was slick with the still-warm liquid. Slowly, deliberately, he withdrew his hand and brought it to his mouth.
Wolfram was very still for a moment. The he let his grip go slack where he'd been holding Yuuri. He began to back away. Yuuri, forced to support his own weight, looked up, but his friend wouldn't meet his eye. Wolfram continued to step back, and it seemed to Yuuri an eternity that his fiancé walked away from him. Eventually, however, Wolfram hit the bed, sat down hard, and grabbed the bedpost for support.
"I have more to lose than you," he said. "I have seven years of..." He cut himself off, clenched his jaw, his face taking on a dangerous flush. "Seven years! And after all this time, now that you've realized it's too late and you're stuck with me-- for Greta's sake, or maybe because you're afraid of what I might do if you throw me over-- now you suddenly decide that you're in love with me?"
No, Yuuri thought, he's got it all wrong. Without thinking, just to correct the misunderstanding, Yuuri said, "I didn't say I was in love with you."
As soon as he'd spoken, he realized it was a mistake. Wolfram's angry flush deepened, and he finally met Yuuri's eyes. Yuuri felt a familiar shock at the hot rage in that look-- it was almost hate.
"I think we should go to bed," said Wolfram. He stood up and turned away, going over to the dresser on the far side of the bed. Yuuri was left suddenly very alone, for all that they were still in the same room. The euphoria he'd felt only a moment ago had vanished, leaving him cold, and more lonely than he'd been since he was possessed, trapped in his own mind. Then Wolfram started to undress, and Yuuri had to turn away, blushing now with shame and confusion-- he wasn't even sure what had just happened!-- and make his way to the screen behind which he always changed.
There was already something there, however, and Yuuri almost cried out when he realized that it was, in fact, more of a someone, wrapped up in their missing duvet. But the auburn curls poking out, still half arranged in the remains of an elegant hairstyle, told him that it was merely Greta. He smiled despite himself. She used to sneak into their room on nights when bad dreams interrupted her sleep, whenever she felt lonely or scared. She hadn't come since she'd turned thirteen and declared herself a grown-up. Yuuri felt some of the warmth return to his chest at the thought that she would still come to her parents for comfort.
Then he remembered what had just taken place-- But, no, Greta would never stand for that. If she'd heard anything, she would have made her presence known, told them off for being so indiscreet, and stormed off in her dramatic, teen-aged way. No, she had to be fast asleep.
He was about to tell Wolfram-- maybe it would relieve some of the tension-- but thought better of it, preferring to let his daughter sleep rather than force her to face an already-irate Wolfram who was never very pleased when she disappeared, especially in the midst of formal events when she should be charming their guests.
"Actually," he said to Wolfram, whose back was still turned. "I think I'm going to have a bath before bed."
Wolfram's only response was a small shrug of his bare shoulders. Yuuri wanted to touch him again. But Wolfram didn't want--
Yuuri shook his head to clear it, and left for the bath. He could still taste Wolfram.
* * *
Once both of her fathers had fallen asleep, which took a very long time, and Wolfram's snores finally filled the bedchamber, Greta unwrapped herself from the bloodied bedspread enough to stand, somewhat unsteadily, and with difficulty make her way around the screen and out the door. There was one guard, down at the end of the corridor, but he was apparently still drunk from the night before and sat slumped against the wall, clearly dozing.
She hardly felt the pain of her injuries as she ran to her room, so desperate was she to get to her own bed, privacy, and safety. Away from fathers who would see her and guess what had happened, away from men and their.... noises. She shuddered. But here was her door, and here, at last, her own room. She bolted the door behind her, knowing she would have to work quickly, as it was nearly dawn and time for the maids to come around.
She let the duvet fall from her shoulders, tore off what remained of her once-elegant ball gown, and pulled the last pins out of her hair. For water she had only the bowl and pitcher provided for face- and hand-washing, so she had to be conservative and use all her spare linens. First and most important was the blood between her legs. Even if that was all she could do, it would still be enough to save her.
She succeeded, in the end, in removing the worst of the blood and dirt from her body and face. Her hair was hopelessly tangled, but she might be able to pass that off as the effects of sleeping imprudently on a fancy hairstyle, and there were bruises, which would have to be explained. After hours of thinking, she hadn't come up with anything better than falling out of a tree, which was, if suspicious, at least not wholly unbelievable. She dressed herself first in her usual nightgown, but found that, even with underwear, it felt too exposed, too open, so she was compelled to put on a pair of men's pajamas Yuuri had given her for cold winter nights.
There were several loose floorboards around the room, some of which Greta herself had loosened, after Yuuri showed her how, so that she would have more secret hiding places. Yuuri was the only one that knew about them, and they had agreed that whatever she put there was hers and no one else was allowed to look, ever. She trusted with all her heart that he would keep his promise. Besides which, he should have no reason to suspect she was hiding something as significant as a bundle of torn and blood-stained clothes...
With one-- she paused, watching the light glint off its blade, considering, wondering for a moment if she might be doing the wrong thing after all, before finally adding it to the stash-- one ritual suicide knife.
She replaced the floorboard, unlocked the door, crawled into bed, and waited for morning.
* * *
Wolfram woke up, as usual, after Yuuri had already gone, and ate hurriedly while the wimp was out performing his morning "exercises" with Weller. He stopped by Greta's room, wishing to tell her about the impending marriage-- there would be a marriage, Wolfram had decided that; no matter what Yuuri did, Wolfram wouldn't let him take that away-- before she heard about it from someone else. However, he was informed that she was asleep, and Gisela had been by. Apparently, the princess had not only been sneaking out of parties, but climbing (and falling out of) trees, likely a sign of too much wine. Wolfram felt a lurch of guilt thinking about it. He had been the one who gave her permission to drink, despite Yuuri's protests that she was too young. Still, Wolfram could not regret his decision in insisting that she be educated in the appreciation of fine liquor as well as dance, art, music, and literature. He just had a hard time judging age when it came to Humans. Wasn't Greta too old to be climbing trees? Of course, when he was fifteen he hadn't been allowed to climb trees, but then again, when he was her "age," he had already been in the world seventy-five years, and had been far too old for such nonsense.
He sighed and rubbed his face in frustration on his way out of the castle. It was all very confusing, and he would have to talk to Yuuri about what was going on with their daughter, but there were other issues surrounding his fiancé that would probably need to be worked out before they could have a real conversation about anything. And even before that, before he even made a move, before he saw Yuuri again, he had to check one thing.
"I need to speak to the sage," he told the Shrine Maidens, and they let him through to the courtyard, where Murata Ken seemed to be waiting for him. It was things like this, and the way the light sometimes caught on his glasses to obscure his eyes, which was why the Great Sage made so many people uncomfortable, Wolfram included. He couldn't stop himself from commenting. "Were you expecting me?"
The sage grinned and cocked his head to the side. "Of course." He held this pose for a moment, seeming to scrutinize Wolfram's face, then burst out laughing. "It's no trick, Sir Bielefield; the truth is I was taking a walk around the ramparts and saw you coming from a good ways off."
By this time, Wolfram was aware that his face was twisted in a scowl, but right now he didn't care how discourteous he was to second-most powerful man in the world. "Look, Sage," he snapped. "I've actually got something important to ask you. Do you think you can control yourself enough to listen?"
Still chuckling, the sage nodded, then snapped his attention back to its previous unsettling intensity. "It's about Shibuya, yes? Congratulations again about the wedding..."
Wolfram cut him off with a movement of his hand. "Yes, it's to do with Yuuri. Which is why, I feel I should warn you, if you aren't completely honest with me in your answer, I shall have to consider it treason and be forced to deal with you myself. Do you understand?" After another nod and a faint smile that made him even more uneasy, Wolfram took a breath and continued. "Is Shinou around? Have you spoken to him at any time recently?"
The sage's eyebrows shot up. "No, not for years. Why?"
Wolfram swallowed. "Yuuri's acting... strange. I wondered if he might be, well--"
"Possessed?" Murata finished for him. "I doubt it. Shibuya already threw Shinou quite forcefully out of his mind; I don't think a second possession is very likely in his case."
Wolfram nodded, feeling the old shame at not being able to fight off the presence of the Original King on either of the two occasions he'd been consumed by it. He knew it was unreasonable to compare himself to Yuuri, or to consider that his power might approach being equal to Shinou's, but still the self-reproach, that it was a weakness of will, remained.
"How strange has he been acting, exactly?" At least the sage's tone was appropriately tinged with worry.
Heat rose swiftly and humiliatingly in Wolfram's cheeks. He didn't have an answer, for all that he'd spent hours the night before trying to think of one. So, instead of responding, he cleared his throat and declared, "I think that's all you need to know, Sage. I thank you for your assistance."
Wolfram was reasonably satisfied that Yuuri was not possessed, which left him with absolutely no explanation for Yuuri's behavior last night.
He had been, perhaps foolishly, so ready to believe that his feelings were at last returned. Yuuri's renewed proposal, and the way he'd acted all evening, Wolfram had dared to hope indicated some sort of romantic interest. And then Yuuri had touched his hips so intimately, almost possessively, and drawn him close... And, when Wolfram finally gave in and did what he'd wanted to do for seven years, Yuuri had kissed him back! It had seemed sudden, yes, but wonderful.
But Yuuri had kept going, and Wolfram had been so surprised he didn't know what to do. If he hadn't pulled away, he would never have forgiven himself for plundering the purity of the moment, marring it with unnecessary haste.
But this was the cruelest part of the night's events-- when Yuuri had said those words that Wolfram had been so desperate to hear for so long that he came immediately. And, according to Yuuri himself, it had been a lie. Wolfram had humiliated himself, laid bare his deepest feelings and desires, over some hollow utterance from a cheating wimp.
As for what Yuuri did next... Wolfram could find no explanation at all. The rest might be attributed, however painful it was, to a natural desire not to live a life completely without sex, even if it was without love. But.... that.... was simply bizarre. Wolfram was actually beginning to question whether it had really happened, whether it might have been a strange dream brought on by the confusion of the wedding announcement. But, no, it had been real, the feeling of shock still fresh in the pit of his stomach.
Where had Yuuri, his sweet innocent Yuuri, only twenty-two years in the world and never showing any signs of sexuality before now, gotten an idea like that?
It was at this point in his thoughts, as he sat at his desk ostensibly reading, that the door behind him opened and Yuuri said, "Wolfram?"
God, the sound of his voice sent a painful wave of heat through Wolfram's body. This was worse than it had ever been.
"Are you still angry?" Yuuri asked softly, over the sound of the closing door.
Wolfram had to take a moment to compose himself before he could grind out, "Of course I am."
Yuuri was silent for a moment, but stepped closer, until Wolfram could feel him just at his shoulder. "I'm sorry... But... I don't understand what I did wrong. I just..." He paused. "Wasn't it what you wanted?" he finished in a small voice.
"No," said Wolfram. "No, it wasn't." He tried desperately not to look like he was trying not to look at Yuuri. "I never wanted that."
There was another pause. Wolfram heard Yuuri's breathing change, and when the wimp spoke again, his voice was choked. "I don't understand," he repeated.
Wolfram slammed his book shut with an impressive boom and twisted around in his chair to face Yuuri at last. "You don't understand? What is there to understand? You were fucking with me, teasing me, and you knew-- you just admitted it, you knew-- how much I'd been waiting for something like that to happen. You don't love me--"
"I do love you!" Yuuri cried. His face was ridiculous, his cheeks pink in his agitation and tears pooling in his eyes. There was a disconcerting desperation in his expression, and his eyes were wide as if to emphasize his point, begging Wolfram to believe him. "I love you so much..."
It wasn't fair.
Then Yuuri touched him, delicately, fearfully, brushing his fingers against the place where Wolfram's jaw met his throat. "I just want to be close to you."
That was too much. Wolfram had to stop this before he gave in to the scent and heat of Yuuri so close to him, the touch, the earnest face, the words that were so seductive... If Yuuri kissed him, which he seemed to be about to do, Wolfram would be lost. Again.
No. Wolfram stood up quickly, which involved knocking his chair over and forcing Yuuri to straighten and back away slightly, looking frightened.
"Stop it," Wolfram snarled. "I don't know what you're trying to do with me, or why you're doing it, but it has to stop. Do you understand that?"
Suddenly, Yuuri seemed to lose any semblance of composure. "WHY?" he screamed, and abruptly it was Wolfram who was afraid, who took an involuntary step backwards. But surely he couldn't have upset Yuuri enough for him to transform... And anyways, he had control over that now. Usually.
Yuuri pressed his palms to his temples, breathing heavily through the tears and never taking his eyes off of Wolfram. "Why?" he said again, and this time it was more of a sob than anything else.
The urge was strong to give him anything he asked for, to comfort him and never hurt him again. But he'd sacrificed enough for Yuuri over the years-- given up his whole life to protect him and love him, even going so far as to sleep in his bed despite the torture of knowing his feelings were not returned. But Wolfram's pride and sense of self-preservation could only be stretched so far. So he spoke deliberately, almost calmly, though he knew his anger, hurt, and resentment must show on his face. "Because I want a real marriage, and what you want... What you want is for me to play the whore."
For a moment, Yuuri was so still that Wolfram thought he must have stopped breathing. Then, every muscle still visibly tensed, he said, "You... Wh--" He stopped and was still for another moment before he was able to speak more coherently. "Because of... what I did?"
Wolfram closed his eyes and sighed, tired of repeating himself, tired of hurting, tired of all of this. "Yes, Yuuri. Because of what you did. And, even worse, that you did it without loving me."
"I keep telling you--"
Wolfram's eyes snapped open and he took a threatening step forward. "Then why did you say you weren't in love with me?"
"Because I'm not like that... I'm not... gay."
Which was the last thing Wolfram expected to hear. It was so absurd, after last night, that he had no response. He stared, and Yuuri's cheeks grew redder, the blush spreading in seconds until his entire face was dark with it. And for the first time since he came in, Yuuri was avoiding Wolfram's eyes. Another moment, and he was trembling.
"Oh my God," said Wolfram, as comprehension began to dawn on him. "Is that what this is all about? You told me you weren't in love with me because you didn't want to be called gay? Do you know how insane that is? How abysmally stupid? No one cares here, Yuuri. I thought you understood that."
"It doesn't matter who cares," Yuuri mumbled. "I'm not."
There was a long pause in which Wolfram tried to decide whether he was angry or not. On the one hand, the fact that Yuuri had hurt him so much over something so small made it even worse, but on the other hand, there was only so much one could expect from a foolish wimp raised among Humans. In the end, it was the terrible shame in Yuuri's expression, in the very way he was standing, his head bowed and his arms crossed defensively in front of him, that tried Wolfram's self-restraint to the breaking point. Anger slipped away from him, and he took those few steps forward that brought him to Yuuri.
Yuuri didn't look up, but he stopped shaking when Wolfram slid his arms around him, and he rested his head on Wolfram's shoulder. His breath came hot, wet, uneven, against Wolfram's neck.
Eventually, Yuuri began to speak against Wolfram's neck. "It didn't seem dirty to me," he said slowly. "That thing I did. I just wanted you... all of you..."
"Idiot," Wolfram muttered, but he didn't dare say more. He was dizzy just knowing that Yuuri did love him, even if the wimp was too stupid to call it that. Instead, he brought a hand up to the back of Yuuri's head, half comforting him and half selfishly enjoying the feel and smell of Yuuri's hair, wondering if it would be wise to try and exchange that wonderful weight on his shoulder for the even more enticing prospect of a kiss.
Before he could decide, Yuuri spoke again. "Are we okay now? Can we..."
When it was apparent that he wasn't going to finish his sentence, Wolfram answered him. "Yes. And I'm sor--"
He cut himself off with a gasp, his whole body stiffening in shock and arousal. Had Yuuri just licked him? His grip in Yuuri's hair tightened.
Yuuri froze. "God-- I messed up again, didn't I?-- I'm so sorry! I--"
"Shut up," Wolfram breathed. "And do that again."
This time Wolfram couldn't keep back a quiet moan. Each push of Yuuri's tongue was bolder and more forceful than the last, and the trail of wetness left behind cooled deliciously in the air... He never would have expected that such an odd thing could feel so good... Then it was his jaw, his ear, for goodness sake, and it was wonderful. The most amazing part was that Yuuri was doing it unintentionally, innocently...
And now Yuuri paused and drew back a little to meet Wolfram's eyes. However, Wolfram took the opportunity almost immediately to tug his fiancé roughly into a kiss. Just as the night before, Yuuri responded with so much enthusiasm that it almost undid Wolfram right then.
But once again, he had to stop it before it got too far. He broke the kiss and pulled away. When Yuuri whimpered, looking as if he was about to rush forward as he'd done last night, Wolfram summoned all of his willpower, and said, "One of us has got to have some self-control. Since you're too much of a wimp, I suppose it's up to me. We have to wait, Yuuri," he added, in response to a desperate look. "We're getting married in two weeks. Surely you can wait two weeks?"
From the look on Yuuri's face, one would think Wolfram had asked him to wait several decades. Finally, Yuuri said, "But... I mean, we could have been doing this for years, right? We... we have to make up for lost time!"
Wolfram laughed and judged it safe to step forward again and cradle Yuuri's cheek in his hand. "Calm down, Wimp. We have all our lives to do this. Two weeks is nothing in the face of several hundred years--" Wolfram stopped himself, but it was too late. Yuuri turned slightly green and stumbled backwards. "Oh God," Wolfram groaned as he reached out to steady him. "What a stupid thing to say-- I'm so sorry, Yuuri..."
Yuuri shook his head. "No, it's okay... I have to... to accept it sometime." After a pause he looked up at Wolfram. "How do you stand it?" he whispered. "You must think about it all the time; she grows so fast to you... She's catching up to us, isn't she?"
Wolfram nodded. He did think about it all the time-- the fact that Greta would die of old age in their lifetime. But the mere fact that he did feel it every day seemed to dull the pain to a constant ache, rather than the sudden terror that occasionally hit Yuuri whenever he was reminded of how long his life would be. He sighed. "We should go and talk to her about last night." Strangely enough, being around Greta seemed to help Yuuri forget the awful future, probably because he always hid his fear from her, tucking it away in some back corner of his mind.
Yuuri nodded. "What did she say this morning? I heard you went to talk to her."
"She was still asleep when I went by. Apparently she had some bruises and--"
"I know; I talked to Gisela."
"So you didn't see Greta either?"
"No. I thought you did."
They looked at each other guiltily.
Eventually, Yuuri said miserably, "We really should talk to her, then."
Wolfram nodded, sighing. Greta would no doubt be furious that they had forgotten her, but would be too proud to admit it, and instead she would probably be in a bad mood all day.
* * *
There was only one more conversation left before Greta could know that the events of last night were truly behind her. She was furious, therefore, when her fathers made her wait in apprehension until it was nearly supper time. When they finally did seek her out, finding her studying in the library, it was obvious what had occupied them all day.
She was glad they'd made up, however, and perhaps gone a bit further than that, because they were too busy looking at each other and pretending not to that they didn't catch the expressions she was only half-able to hide. They also didn't comment on, or didn't notice, the fact that she had moved her desk so that she could sit with the back of her chair against the wall. It felt safer this way.
Yuuri took a seat at the neighboring desk while Wolfram leaned against a bookshelf. When she was younger, Greta had tried to imitate his particular way of leaning, but it didn't work nearly as well in a dress.
Wolfram now focused a serious gaze on her, at least momentarily. "Greta, what happened last night?"
"Hmph," said Greta, in a disdainful gesture she'd picked up from Wolfram himself. "Why don't you tell me? Apparently there's some huge, wonderful news that no one will tell me because you two supposedly wanted to tell me directly." She glared at them, and they exchanged guilty looks.
It was true that she didn't know what the big news was. If they'd talked about it the night before, she wouldn't know. The tones of their voices, and, God, their animal noises, reached her through the blanket that covered her ears, but the individual words were muffled, and she hadn't tried to pick them out. What wasn't true was that she cared. She had no interest in whatever they could have to tell her.
It really was rather convenient that she'd found her parents so irritating lately. It meant that her attitude today was nothing unusual.
Yuuri spoke this time. "We're getting married. In two weeks."
There was silence for a moment as Greta tried to figure out how she would have reacted to this yesterday, when she would have cared.
Well, she'd been waiting for them to finally make it official ever since Yuuri had adopted her and Wolfram claimed her as his daughter as well, by right of the engagement. So she grinned as best she could, and said, "Oh! That's wonderful! We'll finally be a real family!" She couldn't bring herself to stand up and hug them, as she might have done twenty-four hours ago, so she stumbled on to change the subject. "What made you decide just now?"
Yuuri blushed and shrugged. "It just seemed like time." Greta was forced to wonder if this meant that they had finally started to make use of their bed.
Thankfully, Wolfram cut in then. "What happened to you last night, Greta?"
She looked away, trying to summon a blush so they would think she was telling some shameful truth rather than a calculated lie. "... I had too much wine. I'm sorry! I guess I just lost track of how many glasses I'd had... At some point, I realized I was drunk, so I left the party. I was so embarrassed! And then when I was walking in the garden I saw someone coming and I didn't want anyone to see me drunk so I climbed a tree. I know it was stupid. And I was really dizzy and all, of course, so when I tried to come down from the tree, I fell." She hung her head as if in contrition, which had the added bonus of shielding her face slightly with the stray locks of hair that had escaped from her loose bun.
There was a pause, then Yuuri said, "It's okay," and reached over to cover her hand with his. She wanted to take her hand away. She wanted them to leave her alone. But she bit her cheek and withstood the touch. "But no more alcohol," he added.
Wolfram made a disapproving noise, but didn't argue. Greta just nodded.
Then it was time for supper, and that was the end of the conversation, and Greta was satisfied that no one would ever know what happened.
* * *
That night turned out to be something of a problem for Yuuri. He suspected that the only reason Wolfram had demanded they "wait" was to torture him. Apparently they were allowed to kiss, but whenever Yuuri came too close, if their bodies touched at all, he would be pushed away. It was maddening. Especially when they were in bed and just at that point where they had to break the kiss every few seconds to catch their breath, and Wolfram suddenly pulled away, rolled over, and said, "Goodnight, Yuuri."
Yuuri sat up to protest, but realized he had nothing to say. He couldn't argue, and he was unwilling to beg for fear of being called names again. So he sighed and let himself fall back onto the pillows. "Goodnight," he said sullenly.
Several hours later, Yuuri was still staring up at the canopy, far too aware of the boy next to him. Wolfram hadn't moved or begun to snore the entire time. Yuuri might have wondered if he were still alive, except that he could feel the heat of his body and feel the covers moving ever-so-slightly with each breath.
Were they supposed to go two weeks without sleeping?
"This is terrible," Yuuri said, when he'd decided he'd really had enough.
Wolfram's reply had a smirk built right in it. "Now you know what I went through for seven years, Wimp."
"I can't believe you never did anything about it."
"Yeah, maybe I should have ravished you a long time ago. Look-- you knew what I wanted. If you'd wanted the same thing you would have done something."
Yuuri turned on his side, facing Wolfram's back. "I just didn't know I wanted it. I didn't know it could be like that-- like this..." His breath had already begun to quicken with all kinds of excitement. He swallowed it down. "I mean, when I kissed before it was just sort of awkward and weird."
Wolfram tensed visibly, and Yuuri was left in suspense for a moment before he spoke. "What? Who did you kiss?"
"It was just once, a long time ago, with a girl back on Earth. Like I said, I didn't like it much. I'm sorry, though." He reached out and touched Wolfram's back.
"Hmph. Well, it's a good thing you didn't tell me before, because I probably would have found a way to get to Earth and find her."
"So you forgive me?" Yuuri asked, and kissed his shoulder.
Wolfram finally rolled over to face him, though they couldn't really see each other in the dark. "Yes." But he sat up, and added, "There is a punishment, however. I'm going to sleep in the barracks until the wedding."
"Wolfram!" Yuuri whined. But he knew that it wasn't really a punishment; it was in the interest of both their sanities. Still, as Wolfram stood, Yuuri managed to catch him in the dark and pull him down for one more kiss.
"I'm still leaving," Wolfram said breathlessly, when Yuuri finally released him. "I'll see you tomorrow." And he slipped away. There was the sound of an opening drawer, a rustle of clothing, and the door opening and shutting, too quickly for Yuuri even to catch a glimpse of his fiancé in the half-light of the corridor.
Once again, Yuuri sighed and flopped back down on the suddenly-vast bed.
* * *
A/N: I don't typically start posting fics before they are completed, but it's been so long since I've had anything to offer! I'm also hoping that this will help my motivation. So this is the first part of the longish fic that has kept me occupied for longer than I care to say. I don't yet know how often I'll be posting updates, but with luck I might be done with the whole thing in a few months.
Concrit is very welcome, especially since this is still a work in progress!
Chapter II
Chapter III
Chapter IV
Chapter V
Chapter VI