Born to Run (Part 19/29)
Title: Born to Run
Part: 19/29
Characters: Sergio Ramos, Fernando Torres, Iker Casillas, Cesc Fábregas, David Beckham (various pairings)
Rating: NC-17 from here on out just to be safe.
Disclaimer: Tragically untrue.
Summary: Tramps like us, baby we were born to run.
Notes: Inspiration hit and I wrote these two parts that I'm posting tonight in about an hour and a half. They're vastly different and not very plot-driven but they're important to the story and they reveal quite a bit about the characters and their histories. I haven't even looked at these but I hope someone likes them? Part 17 which was also posted tonight, in case you missed it, is here.
one. two. three. four. five. six. seven. eight. nine. ten. eleven. twelve. thirteen. fourteen. fifteen. sixteen. seventeen. eighteen.
Fernando rocks on the front porch swing, his eyes not on the field but on the barn, on the light seeping through the cracks between the wood. He looks over when he hears the screen door creak open and he beams when he sees that it's David. He scoots over to make room for him but David pushes his back against the arm of the swing and draws his Nando up into his arms, both of them long and lazy and happy. David presses his mouth into Fernando's hair and kisses and kisses.
"You 'member, Davey? All them nights we slept up there? That one time that it snowed?"
"We made that cocoon, didn't we? Didn't leave the covers all night."
"We woulda froze our asses off if we hadn'tve!"
David grins and squeezes Fernando so hard that he squeaks which just gives David another excuse to kiss his head.
"Did you take Sergio up to the house today like you said?"
Fernando falls quiet then and the air changes with it. David's hand rubs Fernando's arm, his own arm strong across that lean boy chest.
"There ain't nothin' left of it, Davey. Hardly nothin' up there at all."
David's breath is shaky and Fernando feels immediately near tears because of it. They turn more toward each other and Fernando closes his eyes, dreading this conversation and needing it even more.
"Had to do it, Nando. Had to."
"You found him, didn't you?"
"Mm-hmm."
Fernando is dead silent, his worst sin out there now, just right there between them. His whole body is trembling and David holds tight.
"I didn't mean to, Davey. I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry."
"What'd he do to you, baby? Just tell me what he did."
"H-he, he... he tried to kill me. He held me down and he tried to choke me, screaming at me for hiding his gun. I didn't hide his gun, Davey. It was right there next to the chair like it always was. I don't know why he thought I took it. I don't know why."
"I believe you, Nando."
"And when I tried to get up and show him, he lost it. He grabbed his beer bottle and he smashed it over my head and held me down, and he cut me. Sliced me right open."
David tenses then, his entire body frozen.
"What?"
"It was different'n all the other times. I don't know why. It was just... different. I knew he meaned it. I could just tell. He really wanted to kill me. And you weren't there and he knew he could. Nothin' nobody could do."
"Where?"
"Right..." Fernando lifts up his shirt and flips the button open on his jeans, shoving them down just enough to reveal the jagged, thick scar that ran from one hip to the other. He reaches for David's hand and presses his fingers to it and David sucks in a huge, loaded breath, fingers trembling but not drawing away. Fernando swallows hard and tears burn in his eyes, so, so close to falling but he's fighting them tooth and nail. David spreads his hand on the lowest part of Fernando's belly, holding him like that, his nose just above Fernando's ear, pressed to the sweaty, short strands of it.
"Nando."
"I was so scared, Davey." Fernando's voice cracks and he knows he's lost it now, that he can't keep it in anymore. He sobs and it hurts and David's other arm is like steel across his chest, the other tendering the scar, both of them reassuring Fernando that he was safe. "I didn't know wh-what to do. I knew I was gonna die and I wanted to find you and I needed you, Davey. I needed you." He sobs when he feels David do the same thing so close to his ear, both of them wracked with sobs so deeply-rooted that neither of them could make a sound.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. God, I should have been there. I was supposed to protect you and I didn't. I let you down. I let you down, I'm so sorry." His hands slip around to Fernando's back and he drags him up tighter against his chest so he can curl down over him, so that he can crush their bodies together.
"Where were you? Why didn't you help me? Davey, why?"
David remembers exactly where he'd been, he remembers exactly the taste and smell and feel between Iker's legs that night, he remembers the flavor on his tongue and how tight his body had been as they fucked in the bed of his truck, both of them drowned in sighs and kisses and soft whispers of eternal this and that. He remembers sleeping in Iker's arms until dawn. He remembers but he can never tell Fernando. Never.
"You were gone when I got home, Nando. The house was so quiet. It was never quiet like that. And... and I saw him. I saw him and I just... I couldn't..."
"I had to do it. I just had to. He was looking for his gun but I was on the right side. I ain't never fired a gun before. I was losin' so much blood and I could barely stand up but I had to. I blewed his head clean off. He went everywhere. You know me, Davey. You know me. I can't kill a spider. You remember when Momma told me what hamburgers are? I can't... I can't..."
David shushes him softly, the sounds muffled in Fernando's hair and David is scared now, by how Fernando is near catatonic, his eyes blank and far away, his voice almost robotic.
"Just like that he was gone. Just gone. All the hitting and the torturing and all the things he used to call me and tell me, all of it. His eyes and his smile and the way he walked just like you and how much he loved Momma. All of it, gone, just like that. His blood was all over me. Brains, everything. My daddy. He was my daddy."
"He didn't give you a choice, Nando. You never got a choice. Ever."
"Do you hate me for taking him away? Do you hate me, Davey?"
"No. No no no, oh, Nando. Oh, Nando." David turns Fernando to face him and he sweeps his hair back from his face, from his sweet freckled face and he kisses his nose, between his eyebrows. "I couldn't hate you if you ripped my heart out right now. I couldn't hate you for anything in this whole goddamned world."
"You burned down the house to save me. Didn't you? To hide it."
"I didn't know. I didn't know... anything. There was no note, no nothing. When I came home and saw him I didn't know what'd happened. I just knew you wasn't there. I looked everywhere. I came here and looked in the barn, I went to Paulie Collins' house, I went to the Texaco, I went everywhere. I burned it all down. I took all your stuff out and brought it here and fucking burned it all. Burned him. I knew he deserved it, no matter what'd happened."
"I got so scared. I had to leave. I runned away. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to go. I knew they'd find me and lock me up and take me away from you forever. I knew they'd punish me."
"I thought you'd..." David trails off, not even able to complete the sentence, let alone the thought. (He'd never been able think about it.) "The next night you wasn't back. And the next day. And the next day. Not a word. The police wouldn't leave me alone, kept telling me you were probably dead somewhere, probably kidnapped or killed in the fire. They thought someone had tried to kill Daddy over all the moonshine. They wanted me to give them names but I didn't know any. I didn't care about any of it. I just wanted you home. I always just wanted you back. Two years, Nando. I waited for two years. I never thought I'd see you again. I never thought I'd... I just..." David is crying now, honest to god crying and Fernando had never seen this, never seen Davey lose control like this and it terrified him. He holds onto David's face, his hands shaking hard but he's holding on and he digs their foreheads together, noses rubbing and David's arms are as tight as he can make them around Fernando, so tight that he can barely breathe.
"I'm here now. I'm back and I ain't never leaving you again. Never. I promise."
"You can't, Nando. You can't cause I can't live without you. Not like that. Not without a word or knowin' you're safe. All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. That's all I ever wanted."
"I'm happy now. I'm happy, Davey. Can't you see?" Fernando smiles and David lets out a breath of laughter across his face. "I got you and I got Magic and I don't need nothin' else. I'm so happy."
David kisses him softly, sweetly, exhaling loud and hot across his face and then he's hugging him, digging his nose against Fernando's collarbone, eyes closed tight.
"My chickpea."
chapter twenty.
Part: 19/29
Characters: Sergio Ramos, Fernando Torres, Iker Casillas, Cesc Fábregas, David Beckham (various pairings)
Rating: NC-17 from here on out just to be safe.
Disclaimer: Tragically untrue.
Summary: Tramps like us, baby we were born to run.
Notes: Inspiration hit and I wrote these two parts that I'm posting tonight in about an hour and a half. They're vastly different and not very plot-driven but they're important to the story and they reveal quite a bit about the characters and their histories. I haven't even looked at these but I hope someone likes them? Part 17 which was also posted tonight, in case you missed it, is here.
one. two. three. four. five. six. seven. eight. nine. ten. eleven. twelve. thirteen. fourteen. fifteen. sixteen. seventeen. eighteen.
Fernando rocks on the front porch swing, his eyes not on the field but on the barn, on the light seeping through the cracks between the wood. He looks over when he hears the screen door creak open and he beams when he sees that it's David. He scoots over to make room for him but David pushes his back against the arm of the swing and draws his Nando up into his arms, both of them long and lazy and happy. David presses his mouth into Fernando's hair and kisses and kisses.
"You 'member, Davey? All them nights we slept up there? That one time that it snowed?"
"We made that cocoon, didn't we? Didn't leave the covers all night."
"We woulda froze our asses off if we hadn'tve!"
David grins and squeezes Fernando so hard that he squeaks which just gives David another excuse to kiss his head.
"Did you take Sergio up to the house today like you said?"
Fernando falls quiet then and the air changes with it. David's hand rubs Fernando's arm, his own arm strong across that lean boy chest.
"There ain't nothin' left of it, Davey. Hardly nothin' up there at all."
David's breath is shaky and Fernando feels immediately near tears because of it. They turn more toward each other and Fernando closes his eyes, dreading this conversation and needing it even more.
"Had to do it, Nando. Had to."
"You found him, didn't you?"
"Mm-hmm."
Fernando is dead silent, his worst sin out there now, just right there between them. His whole body is trembling and David holds tight.
"I didn't mean to, Davey. I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry."
"What'd he do to you, baby? Just tell me what he did."
"H-he, he... he tried to kill me. He held me down and he tried to choke me, screaming at me for hiding his gun. I didn't hide his gun, Davey. It was right there next to the chair like it always was. I don't know why he thought I took it. I don't know why."
"I believe you, Nando."
"And when I tried to get up and show him, he lost it. He grabbed his beer bottle and he smashed it over my head and held me down, and he cut me. Sliced me right open."
David tenses then, his entire body frozen.
"What?"
"It was different'n all the other times. I don't know why. It was just... different. I knew he meaned it. I could just tell. He really wanted to kill me. And you weren't there and he knew he could. Nothin' nobody could do."
"Where?"
"Right..." Fernando lifts up his shirt and flips the button open on his jeans, shoving them down just enough to reveal the jagged, thick scar that ran from one hip to the other. He reaches for David's hand and presses his fingers to it and David sucks in a huge, loaded breath, fingers trembling but not drawing away. Fernando swallows hard and tears burn in his eyes, so, so close to falling but he's fighting them tooth and nail. David spreads his hand on the lowest part of Fernando's belly, holding him like that, his nose just above Fernando's ear, pressed to the sweaty, short strands of it.
"Nando."
"I was so scared, Davey." Fernando's voice cracks and he knows he's lost it now, that he can't keep it in anymore. He sobs and it hurts and David's other arm is like steel across his chest, the other tendering the scar, both of them reassuring Fernando that he was safe. "I didn't know wh-what to do. I knew I was gonna die and I wanted to find you and I needed you, Davey. I needed you." He sobs when he feels David do the same thing so close to his ear, both of them wracked with sobs so deeply-rooted that neither of them could make a sound.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. God, I should have been there. I was supposed to protect you and I didn't. I let you down. I let you down, I'm so sorry." His hands slip around to Fernando's back and he drags him up tighter against his chest so he can curl down over him, so that he can crush their bodies together.
"Where were you? Why didn't you help me? Davey, why?"
David remembers exactly where he'd been, he remembers exactly the taste and smell and feel between Iker's legs that night, he remembers the flavor on his tongue and how tight his body had been as they fucked in the bed of his truck, both of them drowned in sighs and kisses and soft whispers of eternal this and that. He remembers sleeping in Iker's arms until dawn. He remembers but he can never tell Fernando. Never.
"You were gone when I got home, Nando. The house was so quiet. It was never quiet like that. And... and I saw him. I saw him and I just... I couldn't..."
"I had to do it. I just had to. He was looking for his gun but I was on the right side. I ain't never fired a gun before. I was losin' so much blood and I could barely stand up but I had to. I blewed his head clean off. He went everywhere. You know me, Davey. You know me. I can't kill a spider. You remember when Momma told me what hamburgers are? I can't... I can't..."
David shushes him softly, the sounds muffled in Fernando's hair and David is scared now, by how Fernando is near catatonic, his eyes blank and far away, his voice almost robotic.
"Just like that he was gone. Just gone. All the hitting and the torturing and all the things he used to call me and tell me, all of it. His eyes and his smile and the way he walked just like you and how much he loved Momma. All of it, gone, just like that. His blood was all over me. Brains, everything. My daddy. He was my daddy."
"He didn't give you a choice, Nando. You never got a choice. Ever."
"Do you hate me for taking him away? Do you hate me, Davey?"
"No. No no no, oh, Nando. Oh, Nando." David turns Fernando to face him and he sweeps his hair back from his face, from his sweet freckled face and he kisses his nose, between his eyebrows. "I couldn't hate you if you ripped my heart out right now. I couldn't hate you for anything in this whole goddamned world."
"You burned down the house to save me. Didn't you? To hide it."
"I didn't know. I didn't know... anything. There was no note, no nothing. When I came home and saw him I didn't know what'd happened. I just knew you wasn't there. I looked everywhere. I came here and looked in the barn, I went to Paulie Collins' house, I went to the Texaco, I went everywhere. I burned it all down. I took all your stuff out and brought it here and fucking burned it all. Burned him. I knew he deserved it, no matter what'd happened."
"I got so scared. I had to leave. I runned away. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to go. I knew they'd find me and lock me up and take me away from you forever. I knew they'd punish me."
"I thought you'd..." David trails off, not even able to complete the sentence, let alone the thought. (He'd never been able think about it.) "The next night you wasn't back. And the next day. And the next day. Not a word. The police wouldn't leave me alone, kept telling me you were probably dead somewhere, probably kidnapped or killed in the fire. They thought someone had tried to kill Daddy over all the moonshine. They wanted me to give them names but I didn't know any. I didn't care about any of it. I just wanted you home. I always just wanted you back. Two years, Nando. I waited for two years. I never thought I'd see you again. I never thought I'd... I just..." David is crying now, honest to god crying and Fernando had never seen this, never seen Davey lose control like this and it terrified him. He holds onto David's face, his hands shaking hard but he's holding on and he digs their foreheads together, noses rubbing and David's arms are as tight as he can make them around Fernando, so tight that he can barely breathe.
"I'm here now. I'm back and I ain't never leaving you again. Never. I promise."
"You can't, Nando. You can't cause I can't live without you. Not like that. Not without a word or knowin' you're safe. All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. That's all I ever wanted."
"I'm happy now. I'm happy, Davey. Can't you see?" Fernando smiles and David lets out a breath of laughter across his face. "I got you and I got Magic and I don't need nothin' else. I'm so happy."
David kisses him softly, sweetly, exhaling loud and hot across his face and then he's hugging him, digging his nose against Fernando's collarbone, eyes closed tight.
"My chickpea."
chapter twenty.