Obscurity

[mel0804]

Pairing: Ennis/Jack
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17 (Warning: violence !)
Summary: AU_AU. With this story I wanted to dive in the dark side of Brokeback Mountain. I wanted to experiment with fear, uncertainty and doubt. Ennis and Jack meet each other in the modern time.
Dedication: This story is dedicated to my German beta tanzmaeusi, who encouraged me to write this

Comments

[forevermare]

Mel,

The image this story evokes in my mind is somewhere between "Metropolis" and "Brazil", but mostly "Brazil" (if you haven't seen it, it's done by Terry Gilliam of Monty Python). The cities in both are dark, futuristic and mechanized, and the people live anonymous lives of drudgery and boredom.

I like this -- very Gothic!

Mary

[mel0804]

I haven't seen Brazil or Metropolis and I can't even say if I thought about a special city - except the imagination of how Pittsburgh might have been some decades ago.
While I'm writing this comment I try to think about other pictures that might have influenced me - but I can't remember so I think I had the picture of darkness just in my mind... ;-).

[forevermare]

I should have mentioned something that might be of interest to you -- the original Metropolis was written and directed by a German director named Fritz Lang and was in German (although it was only the titles, since this was a silent film produced in 1927). It is a chilling look at the future influenced I think by the climate of great hardship and despair in which it was conceived. Check it out if you get a chance. All I can say is I'm glad the future didn't turn out exactly like that!

[max3b1]

thanks Mel and the tizi and poppyhoney team working on this story so we all can appreciate it.
max

[mel0804]

Thank you ;-)!

[jetd_always]

You can really paint a picture with your words , it's truly amazing . And boy do I love angst ! Looks like I may get myself some in this one .

Just a fantastic beginning Mel , looking forward to more already .

Thanks so much ,

Lisa

[mel0804]

Yes - it will be a little bit more angsty ;-). I'm glad you love it !
Thank you !!!

[lara_pinta]

Your imaginery was beautiful. I found this passage particularly enchanting "No buffet of wind moved the yellowed curtains which were trying with a last dash of dignity to keep away the light of the beginning day from the sleeping, hiding with decade’s long constancy the view to the sulky grey of the surrounding chimneys."

Thank you
Lorna

[mel0804]

It's so fascinating for me to read all the different comments and to get a feeling how everyone of you feels about different passages. And the one you are pointing out is exactly one of the most fascinating for me, too, because I really SAW the curtains, I saw the fading color and the chimneys they tried to hide. It was so vivid for me as if I had been there... ;-)

[aileenfan]

Wow, it's really good:) I like reading about the dark side of life, although I like happy endings. But I'll read whatever you write. In english;)

[mel0804]

I like happy endings, too... ;-) We will see if we get, what we like in this story... ;-)