Obscurity

[mel0804]

Pairing: Ennis/Jack
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17 (Warning: violence !)
Summary: AU_AU. With this story I wanted to dive in the dark side of Brokeback Mountain. I wanted to experiment with fear, uncertainty and doubt. Ennis and Jack meet each other in the modern time.
Dedication: This story is dedicated to my German beta tanzmaeusi, who encouraged me to write this

Comments

[samtyr]

This is so good. The only good thing about Ennis' job is that it should have pretty good benefits. And poor Jack! ::winces:: He's so terribly, awfully alone. So very sad. :(

I'm looking forward to reading more. Thank you for sharing this with us.

[mel0804]

I'm glad you are sharing this with me ;-) - really !
I know, such stories are hard to read - but it was a great experience to write it, so I'm glad that some of you are brave enough to read it even though it's hard to see them both suffering.

Steel

[greatmtn]

Mel, a dark start to your story. Both Ennis and Jack living a low and deprived life. Will anything brighten their lives?

thanks

greatmtn

Re: Steel

[mel0804]

Yes, the fact that they met each other will thankfully brighten their lives. Not at once but step by step... ;-)

[rosiet]

OH my God! Poor Jack!

***“Hey, Teddy. You’re late today. Thought you ditched me.“

Instead of an answer Jack only heard scuffling steps and unintelligible mumbling. He drew his breath sharply and his neck hair rose.

“Teddy, is that you?” he asked and hated himself for the unmistakeable tremble in his voice.****

That tremble in his voice, that fear, that need for this connection to the rest of the world....and then at the end as Ennis leaves...

*****The silence had him back.*****

OH God! Again. Poor Jack! Again. I am just sooo sad for him. Look what those people have done to him.....And Ennis too. What a pair. This is sure dark...I tell you, I'm hooked. I'll be reading this hoping for a time when these two can bring some joy and sunshine and hope and colour into each others eyes.

Very moving writing Mel. Thank you!

[mel0804]

Thank you so much - I'm glad you liked it and I'm really glad you felt the sadness and loneliness. It's the best compliment I can get because that means I had chosen the right words... ;-)

[shieldmaid1]

I'm a little taken aback . . . I've never seen a Jack taken so low, or in so much pain. But seeing him meet Ennis shows me that a ray of light will creep into both their lives now. Thank you for sharing this with us; I'll look forward to your next update.

[mel0804]

I understand your feelings pretty well...
I thought about this story a long time before I decided to write it. And I hesitated because of the fact that I needed to describe a Jack who is so completely different from all the other Jacks we love to read about. But you will see (hopefully ;-)) that there are character traits from the original Jack we all love. He is very brave - and he will fight for his luck.

[bbmcowgirl]

Poor Jack. He reminds me of the seniors that have lost their spouses They so desperately need someone to talk to. His depression must be overwhelming. Look forward to more
Judy

[mel0804]

I have never thought about it - but you are right...