"....the worst thing about regret is that it makes you duck the chance of suffering new regret just as you get a glimmer that nothing's worth doing unless it has the potential to fuck up your whole life." -Richard Ford, Independence Day.

I am so kind of drunk right now.

PEACE.

Dear Mr. Lehrer:

I am sorry to inform you that there is no interest in your "ALBUM OF SONGS".

Thank you for submitting your songs to us.

Sincerely,

CAPITOL RECORDS, INC.

-(rejection letter from Capitol Records (in its entirety), January 27th, 1954)

I just killed a larger and nastier cockroach in my new home in Virginia than I ever saw in my home in Florida.

It was totally motivated by revulsion.

What does the narrator say in Fight Club? "And I used to be such a nice guy?"

AD&D Alignment Chart for NFL Head Coaches @ www.thefoosballwizard.com, starring my handsome face in a banner, a lame hat, and magic flying footballs.

My sports (99% football) blog is LAUNCHED.

The other 1% is alpacas. I'm not even kidding. I have an alpaca of the week feature.

Check it out here!

Not interested in sports? My floating head in a stupid hat is surrounded by glowing footballs in the banner. ARE YOU INTERESTED NOW?

Click to view

Mom: I need 10 horseshoes and 10 nails...write that down ( Read more... )

I have been accepted into the M.A. program at George Washington University.

I at least have something to fall back on if I don't get accepted into a PhD!

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD.

I dreamt last night that I was accepted into two PhD programs - one at Temple with funding and another without funding.

I did not experience joy - just RELIEF!

The cat jumped on my head while I read the Temple acceptance, waking me from my academic themed slumber!

I picked a hell of a year to apply to grad school.