no one prepared me for this day, dudes

[meiface]

Okay, I know Captain Serious's moniker is well-deserved but I know it's also exaggerated and blown out of proportion (even if it makes for hilarious macros like this):

Comments

[impertinence]

Hilariously, as relaxed as Tazer tends to be at ASGs/NHL Awards, he STILL comes off as stiff compared to a lot of players. Even when he's drunk as fuck. Have you seen the 2010 NHL All-Star Draft???

[meiface]

NO, WAS HE SUPER DRUNK??

dkjfsdf Tazer needs to stop giving me feelings.

/goes trolls tumblr for Jeff Skinner

[impertinence]

OMGGGG IDK HOW DRUNK HE WAS DURING THE DRAFT BUT KANER WAS AN ALTERNATE CAPTAIN AND HE KEPT DRAFTING PEOPLE OTHER THAN TAZER AND INFORMED LIDSTROM THAT HE WANTED TO MAKE TAZER SWEAT, AND LIDSTROM WAS 100% ON BOARD WITH THE TROLLING. SO WAS THE NHL NETWORK, WHO KEPT SHOWING CLOSEUPS OF TAZER EVERY TIME HE WASN'T PICKED FOR TEAM LIDSTROM, AND INTERVIEWING HIM ABOUT THE SNUBBING.

IF YOU LOOK UP "TOEWS ALL STAR DRAFT" THERE'S A LOT OF CLIPS, BUT THIS ONE IN PARTICULAR IS GREAT.

[meiface]

OH YOU MEAN THE 2011 ASG DRAFT.

YES I'VE WATCHED THAT MULTIPLE TIMES. THE ENTIRE THING. IT FILLS ME WITH SO MUCH DELIGHT AND ALL DRAFTS SHOULD BE FULL OF SUCH TROLLING. A+++ EXCELLENCE. SHARPY KEPT CHIRPING HIM TOO, SO GREAT!!

Also, Jeff Skinner's face.

Whatever, haters, Raleigh is fucking AWESOME.

[meiface]

IN MY HEAD OBVIOUSLY

BECAUSE THE REPORTER IS TOTALLY FLIRTING BACK

which means Kaner has two options: learn French and make Tazer want him or sleep around and make Tazer jealous.

Guess which option he goes for.

[meiface]

Seriously. "So I've read. So I've heard." *meaningful look*

WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE??

ahahaha do all the other players just laugh in his face at his atrocious French? The only more hilarious scenario I can think of is Kaner trying to learn Russian. Maybe Ovechkin overhears of Kaner's attempTs and is like NO NO LEARN RUSSIAN, RUSSIAN WILL GET YOU LAID. FRENCH JUST GETS YOU NICE WINE.

[nyw]

OH MY GOD HE SPEAKS FLUENT FRENCH

Also his 'meh' face is adorbs

[meiface]

YES HE DOES.

YES IT IS.

DAMMIT.

No seriously he's so cute in this video. I am full of delight. :D Also, idc what he says, the suit fits.

[spinfrog]

the suit TOTALLY fits! He just wants to draw the cute french-speaking boy's attention to the fact that he works out ;) ...no shoes no shirt and Tazer still gets service! *_____*

[meiface]

oh my god, you're right. I bet this is his way of flirting, like, "Oh, man, my suit is so tight. Oh no." *tugs on shirt* *allows camera to pan down his body to see how the suit FITS SO WELL TO HIS NICE BODY* *leers at reporter*

aslkdjgh smooth.

[forochel]

i've just realised something mei

in my rage-filled delirium

tazer thinks that suit is tight because kaner's horribly fitted suit sense

is rubbing off on him

CAPTAIN GANBATTEYO HAS MATCHING SOCKS DATTEBAYO!!!!!!

[meiface]

NO, YOU ARE WRONG. >:( TAZER IS JUST DUMB.

MAYBE DRUNK.

AND HIGH.

His judgment at the moment cannot be trusted.

[forochel]

you forgot the bit about kaner blowing him before the whole carpet process

whilst drunk & high

ace.

[meiface]

See, clearly that's how they got Tazer into a well-fitting suit. Now the same process must be applied to Kaner!

[sweetcherrytree]

totally drunk, or at least pleasantly buzzed

[meiface]

Perhaps well fucked?

Because he looks good in that suit. Yes.