Spiegel Im Spiegel
Okay so I was a tweak depressed when i wrote this... see if you can tell... *snicker*, And it was also inspired by the piece called 'Spiegel Im Spiegel by um... Ralph Vaughan Williams (I think...) So tell me what you think and if you listen to the piece (Spiegel Im Spiegel) then you will understand where i was coming from. Hopefully... I think.
Spiegel Im Spiegel
A battle worn Harry, suffering from PTSD after a war that dragged on fro six years too long, thinks about his love lost and sets about making it better. Oneshot. Implied Harry/Tom. Character Death.
The war was over after six long and drawn out years, though not without leaving some heavy reminders to all those who had survived it. Amazingly enough the only severe casualties on the Light side were Remus Lupin, which devastated Harry, Bill Weasley and seven students who got killed in the final battle.
Sadly, there were other consequences. Harry Potter now suffered from what Hermione had said looked like PTSD, or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. According to the muggle witch, it had been a common thing in soldiers of nearly all the wars in the muggle world, though the earliest recordings were of the First World War, where it was commonly known as Shell Shock.
Harry's symptom was muteism. He wouldn't speak to anyone and acted as though he couldn't. Hermione had explained that in his mind, the horrors of what he had experienced had been too much and he had forced himself into believing he really was mute.
So Harry now lived in the hospital wing at Hogwarts, as Dumbledore had come to believe that, being in a familiar environment would help Harry and possibly speed up his recovery. Hermione hadn't had the heart to tell the aging wizard that most who developed PTSD didn't ever recover from it truly. They all visited Harry daily though, in the hopes that it would help him recover and Hermione didn't tell anyone that there was a high chance he never would.
IIIIIIIIIIII
Harry stared out of the window that was next to his bed, dispondantly. He knew that, psychologically, he was unstable and that he was worrying his friends. He just couldn't find the energy to care anymore. He had done what everyone had expected him to do and had killed Voldemort, but at the highest cost to himself.
He had been forced to kill, but not only that, to kill the only person who had ever understood him. Who had ever loved him for who he truly was. No, he no longer found any reason to care for anything. Sirius was gone. Remus was gone. And now he was gone also.
He watched as the current Gryffindor Quidditch team practised out on the field and wondered if they knew he was in here, or if the Headmaster had managed to hide his presence somehow. He found that he didn't care either way and then let a small smile play on his lips as he remembered conversations past with his lover.
The door to the private section of the Hopsital Wing opened and Dumbledore walked in, smiling at Harry sadly when he saw that he was awake.
"Ah my dear dear boy. How are you today?" Dumbledore asked, not really expecting an answer but wishing he would receive one all the same.
Harry just stared at him blankly however and then turned his head back to the quidditch practice, tracing invisible patterns on the window pane with his finger. Dumbledore sighed and held back the tears as he took in the sight of a broken man. Only twenty four and basically a shell of a man. What had happened to his favourite student, to make this happen?
Dumbeldore smiled widely as Harry turned around to look at him again, still with a blank expression on his face, and Dumbledore sat down in a chair next to his bed and began to tell him about inane things that had happened in his days since the last time he had spoken to the boy.
IIIIIIIIIII
Almost six months to the day that the war had ended and Harry had gone into shock and Harry smiled lightly for the first time. He had finally managed to attain everything he would need to set his plan into action. He would finally be able to set everything right later that night. Right now however, he was scheduled another visit from someone. He never really knew who it would be until they arrived.
Part of him hoped it would be Hermione. She was the only one who knew that he wouldn't ever be getting better. She knew that he didn't want to get better. He couldn't speak. He didn't want to speak. He felt that if he ever spoke again, it would be to scream in anguish. To let free all the pain and horror that he felt. To help ease the terrible guilt that he felt.
Tonight. Tonight everything would be set right again. He would no longer have to feel guilty. He could be with his love again.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Dear Everyone,
I never meant to hurt anyone. When i was younger, i used to wish i could find someone to love me, but the Dursley's told me that that would never happen. I was unloveable to them. I found him though. The one person who truly understood what i was, who i was.
I loved him back, even though i thought that would be impossible. He made me feel whole. But now, now i feel empty inside. He's gone now, to a place where i will never be able to follow. And i put him there.
In muggle religion, it is said that the worst sin you could ever commit, is to take your own life, or the life of another. I have done the latter. I took the life of the one person i truly loved and loved me in return. And now, to set things right, i am going to take my own. In doing so, then maybe my wish of being together with him will become a reality.
Maybe there isn't a Heaven or Hell. Maybe all souls go to some other place. But whatever happens. I will hopefully be with him from now and until forever.
I know i will have hurt a lot of people with this decision, but i don't think i could have lived with myself. I would never have been happy again and i think, Hermione, that you, somehow, knew that. I realise that the decision i have made in the past will go against me and that when the truth finally comes out, i will fall from everyones grace forever. No loonger the hero but the villain. I do not care however. I will be free. I need to be free.
I am sorry for everything i have ever done and will do with this letter. I need to be with him and this is the only way.
I am finally free.
Harry James Potter-Riddle
Spiegel Im Spiegel
A battle worn Harry, suffering from PTSD after a war that dragged on fro six years too long, thinks about his love lost and sets about making it better. Oneshot. Implied Harry/Tom. Character Death.
The war was over after six long and drawn out years, though not without leaving some heavy reminders to all those who had survived it. Amazingly enough the only severe casualties on the Light side were Remus Lupin, which devastated Harry, Bill Weasley and seven students who got killed in the final battle.
Sadly, there were other consequences. Harry Potter now suffered from what Hermione had said looked like PTSD, or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. According to the muggle witch, it had been a common thing in soldiers of nearly all the wars in the muggle world, though the earliest recordings were of the First World War, where it was commonly known as Shell Shock.
Harry's symptom was muteism. He wouldn't speak to anyone and acted as though he couldn't. Hermione had explained that in his mind, the horrors of what he had experienced had been too much and he had forced himself into believing he really was mute.
So Harry now lived in the hospital wing at Hogwarts, as Dumbledore had come to believe that, being in a familiar environment would help Harry and possibly speed up his recovery. Hermione hadn't had the heart to tell the aging wizard that most who developed PTSD didn't ever recover from it truly. They all visited Harry daily though, in the hopes that it would help him recover and Hermione didn't tell anyone that there was a high chance he never would.
IIIIIIIIIIII
Harry stared out of the window that was next to his bed, dispondantly. He knew that, psychologically, he was unstable and that he was worrying his friends. He just couldn't find the energy to care anymore. He had done what everyone had expected him to do and had killed Voldemort, but at the highest cost to himself.
He had been forced to kill, but not only that, to kill the only person who had ever understood him. Who had ever loved him for who he truly was. No, he no longer found any reason to care for anything. Sirius was gone. Remus was gone. And now he was gone also.
He watched as the current Gryffindor Quidditch team practised out on the field and wondered if they knew he was in here, or if the Headmaster had managed to hide his presence somehow. He found that he didn't care either way and then let a small smile play on his lips as he remembered conversations past with his lover.
The door to the private section of the Hopsital Wing opened and Dumbledore walked in, smiling at Harry sadly when he saw that he was awake.
"Ah my dear dear boy. How are you today?" Dumbledore asked, not really expecting an answer but wishing he would receive one all the same.
Harry just stared at him blankly however and then turned his head back to the quidditch practice, tracing invisible patterns on the window pane with his finger. Dumbledore sighed and held back the tears as he took in the sight of a broken man. Only twenty four and basically a shell of a man. What had happened to his favourite student, to make this happen?
Dumbeldore smiled widely as Harry turned around to look at him again, still with a blank expression on his face, and Dumbledore sat down in a chair next to his bed and began to tell him about inane things that had happened in his days since the last time he had spoken to the boy.
IIIIIIIIIII
Almost six months to the day that the war had ended and Harry had gone into shock and Harry smiled lightly for the first time. He had finally managed to attain everything he would need to set his plan into action. He would finally be able to set everything right later that night. Right now however, he was scheduled another visit from someone. He never really knew who it would be until they arrived.
Part of him hoped it would be Hermione. She was the only one who knew that he wouldn't ever be getting better. She knew that he didn't want to get better. He couldn't speak. He didn't want to speak. He felt that if he ever spoke again, it would be to scream in anguish. To let free all the pain and horror that he felt. To help ease the terrible guilt that he felt.
Tonight. Tonight everything would be set right again. He would no longer have to feel guilty. He could be with his love again.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Dear Everyone,
I never meant to hurt anyone. When i was younger, i used to wish i could find someone to love me, but the Dursley's told me that that would never happen. I was unloveable to them. I found him though. The one person who truly understood what i was, who i was.
I loved him back, even though i thought that would be impossible. He made me feel whole. But now, now i feel empty inside. He's gone now, to a place where i will never be able to follow. And i put him there.
In muggle religion, it is said that the worst sin you could ever commit, is to take your own life, or the life of another. I have done the latter. I took the life of the one person i truly loved and loved me in return. And now, to set things right, i am going to take my own. In doing so, then maybe my wish of being together with him will become a reality.
Maybe there isn't a Heaven or Hell. Maybe all souls go to some other place. But whatever happens. I will hopefully be with him from now and until forever.
I know i will have hurt a lot of people with this decision, but i don't think i could have lived with myself. I would never have been happy again and i think, Hermione, that you, somehow, knew that. I realise that the decision i have made in the past will go against me and that when the truth finally comes out, i will fall from everyones grace forever. No loonger the hero but the villain. I do not care however. I will be free. I need to be free.
I am sorry for everything i have ever done and will do with this letter. I need to be with him and this is the only way.
I am finally free.
Harry James Potter-Riddle