Mile in My Shoes - Ch4 - Beside Myself (Part 1)
Title: A Mile in My Shoes
Author: LadyStina2
Rating: PG
Ch Summary: Megamind and Minion break Roxanne out of prison.
Ch 4 - Beside Myself (Part 1)
It was the next morning and the best Roxanne had managed for sleep was a light doze for an hour or two. Surprisingly, she didn’t feel the normal fuzziness that comes after a sleepless night. She was just beginning to wonder if the inside of the TV would be more interesting than what they were showing on the screen when she heard a breakfast tray being slid through the slot in the door.
“Yay, room service,” she muttered sarcastically and moved over to the tray. She saw an unappetizing yellow mass that she suspected was supposed to be scrambled eggs. It looked more like yellow rubber though. There was also a piece of toast, a sealed container of yogurt, and a sealed plastic cup of orange juice. She decided that the yogurt and the orange juice looked the safest and removed them from the tray to eat in the chair. With all those wall-bound caricatures of creatures staring at her. They just got creepier the longer she stayed in here. Now she also understood the thought process behind the creation of the Rock’em-Sock’em Kittens Megamind had created a year or two ago. She was willing to bet that it was shortly after they painted this room.
She was also beginning to understand how he had so many different plans. There was nothing to do in here but think. And when Minion originally contacted her thinking she was Megamind, the escape wasn’t going to happen for a week. She ate the unidentifiable yogurt and drank her juice then threw the trash back on the tray. She was pretty impressed because she managed that with an over-the-shoulder shot. After she made the shot, she frowned as she realized that she had taken into account angles, wind resistance and velocity. Why was she taking those into account anyway?!
Roxanne stood up and began pacing. It was getting harder and harder to sit still. Wasn’t there supposed to be time in an exercise yard or something? Wait. Bad idea. There would probably be other prisoners out there at the same time. Where was her ‘cooperative kidnapping?’ It was 8:17 already. When are visiting hours anyway?
She paced for another twenty-two minutes with her mind continuously jumping from idea to idle speculation and back again. Finally the window in the doorway slid open and she saw the warden there giving her a flat look.
“Morning, Warden,” she said, attempting to be non-antagonizing. It was still really weird to hear Megamind’s voice whenever she talked.
“Megamind.” He stated without any inflection. Then he rose an eyebrow her. “It seems that reporter you’ve taken a shine to has come to interview you.”
“Really?” Roxanne asked a little smugly and allowed a slight smile to play about her lips. She reminded herself to act like him, “Miss Ritchi coming all this way to see me? There must be trouble in paradise.”
“I doubt that. Hands in front,” he commanded.
Roxanne obediently put her blue hands in front of her and then the door slid open. The warden was flanked by two wary-looking guards whose hands were straying awfully close to their night-sticks. The warden placed the shackles on her hands and feet again and started to escort her to the visiting area.
They entered a room that had a partition the entire way across that was filled with about ten little cubicles, each with a phone on the side. Strangely they were all empty except the one in the middle where she spotted her body wearing dark clothes with untamed hair on the other side of the glass. The two guards settled in on either side of the door they just entered. The warden gave a little nod and left the room. She took the hint and shuffled over to the cubicle across from Megamind in her body.
When she sat down, Megamind tapped the open notebook in front of him and reached for the phone. She involuntary looked at the notebook as she reached for the phone and saw a message facing her that read, “Act like me. Being monitored.”
She didn’t make any outward appearance that she noticed the note and said into the phone, “So, we meet again, Miss Ritchi. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Megamind,” her body greeted. “This was my boss’s idea, so let’s just get through this, ok? I just have a few questions.”
“Ask away, Miss Ritchi!” she replied grandly. If he wanted her to imitate him, she would do so. And hopefully annoy him too.
“How does it feel to be the most feared villain in Metroc,” Megamind coughed a bit to cover his near slip-up then continued with precise enunciation, “Metro City?” He gave another little fake cough, “Sorry. Dust.”
Roxanne shot him a very quick glare to give him the real answer, then started acting again. “Well, being the most feared villain in Metrocity,” she made sure to mispronounce it like he always did, “is one of my goals. The only thing standing in my way of taking over this city is that blasted Metro Mahn.” She had heard enough of his monologging over the years to give the standing answer. Megamind jotted down some notes as she answered. She glanced over, curious as to what he was writing and saw that he was writing something upside down and backwards. She realized that he was sending her another message that was right-side up to her, but making it look like natural writing from a distance. Here was another thing this overly-dramatic person was being subtle about.
When he was done, he idly tapped his pen against the notebook and Roxanne quickly read the new message facing her. “Bots through roof. Two minutes. Laugh when leaving.”
“And once you defeat Metro Man,” there was that over-enunciation again, “what do you plan to do with Metro City?”
How in the world was she supposed to answer that? She doubted that he knew what he would do if that ever happened. Oh well, they just had to stall for another minute or so. “That, Miss Ritchi, has yet to be seen. What is life without surprises, after all? Although the position of Evil Queen is still open…” she hated that she just said that, but she was playing a role and he always offered her the position of ‘Evil Queen’ when talking about taking over the city.
She was taken aback by the look of intense sadness that momentarily crossed her own eyes as Megamind replied with her standard refusal, “Ha! You wish, Megamind.”
Before Roxanne could analyze that look in his eyes, there was a loud crash as the ceiling behind her suddenly developed a hole and dozens of brainbots quickly poured inside in a threatening spiral formation. Several broke out of formation and surrounded the guards and disarmed them before they could move. Roxanne stood up quickly and smirked while the rest circled around her. A couple approached closer and bit right through the chains that bound her hands and feet. Suddenly, a few gripped her under her arms and lifted her off the ground while the rest provided cover. As she was being airlifted out the hole, she went ahead and gave an evil laugh since it would show she was cooperating.
She was quickly carried outside the gates and set down beside the road. A car door opened out of thin air next to her as the brainbots took to the sky.
“Quickly, Miss Ritchi,” she heard Minion’s voice from inside the invisible car. She hopped in and closed the door. Before she even had the door shut, Minion put the car in gear and took off.
“What about, Megamind?” she asked.
“I’m sure Sir will be interrogated about your escape. We’ll lay low and pick him up when he’s done,” he answered.
“Ok,” she replied. And then they just sat there in silence. She realized that this was her first time to be conscious in the invisible car and started studying the dash with all the custom dials and gizmos. “What’s this switch do?” she finally asked to break the silence.
Minion was busy parking alongside the road. Once he parked, he turned in his bowl and replied a bit sheepishly, “I’m really not at liberty to discuss that, Miss Ritchi. Until we get everything sorted out, I think it’d be best if you’d try to rein in your natural curiosity. These are unusual circumstances, after all.”
Roxanne looked down at her currently blue hands and muttered, “Tell me about it…” She looked back at Minion and nearly pleaded, “He can fix this, right? Does he know what happened? He seemed surprised.”
Minion fluttered his fins before replying, “Don’t you worry, Miss Ritchi. We’ll get this figured out in no time! Right now, we only know the arc flash from the electromagnet hit the escape teleporter, but we plan to view the footage this afternoon. Hopefully we’ll see something that Sir missed in the excitement. And I can guarantee that this was never in any of our evil plans.”
“Good thing I have vacation saved up,” she muttered then asked, “What did Megamind tell my boss this morning about me missing work? I need to know the cover story.”
“Sir didn’t contact anyone this morning,” Minion replied.
“What?! But…. my job! And I… he…” she growled in frustration and continued with air quotes, “’Megamind’ was in prison this morning! I can’t even blame not coming in on an early-morning kidnapping. And I know my name will be leaked out because ‘I’ was here when ‘Megamind’ escaped! He needs to hurry up so we can do some damage control.” She frowned as her stomach tightened and she thought of possible scenarios of why she wouldn’t come in or call and visit Megamind in prison.
“I’m sorry, Miss Ritchi,” Minion apologized. “We’ve never held a... paying?... job before. We just didn’t think of having to notify anyone about your absence.”
She sighed and rubbed her temples. She still wasn’t used to the unfamiliar bone structure under her fingers when she did that. “It’s ok, Minion. I’ll figure something out.”
Out of morbid curiosity more than anything else, she flipped down the visor to look in the vanity mirror. She stared at the blue face staring back at her. This was the first time she had access to a mirror since they had switched. She brought a shaking hand up and touched her face. And everything suddenly felt real. Not the shock of seeing her own face staring at her or the unfamiliar hands and clothing held in front of her or even the massive embarrassment of using the bathroom with unfamiliar plumbing. No. It was looking at a face other than hers in a mirror that brought it all home. The face in the mirror scrunched itself up and the unnaturally green eyes started to shine as she willed herself not to start crying. Why did everything have to get so messed up?
Minion had been watching her curiously then jumped in with, “Oh no! Not you too, Miss Ritchi! We’ll fix this!” He hesitantly placed a metallic hand on her shoulder. Roxanne nodded and placed a hand over Minion’s to thank him for his comfort. She put the visor back up so she wouldn’t have to see anymore.
“It…it just hit me, you know?” she said softly. “Out of everything else, it was seeing a different face in the mirror…”
Minion gave her a smile, “Don’t feel bad, Miss Ritchi. Sir had a break-down last night.” A beeping sound started. “Ahh, speaking of which, looks like Sir is ready to be picked up. Can you move to the backseat? We need to stay invisible so I’ll need to open the door for him.” She nodded, turned around and crawled into the backseat.
Minion drove back around the prison and headed towards Megamind. Once Minion pulled up alongside him, Minion reached over and opened the door.
“Need a lift?” Minion asked her body in a playful tone that she had rarely heard before. Megamind jumped in with a laugh and quickly closed the door as Minion took off.
“Minion! You…,“ he started excitedly, then glanced back at her and obviously changed what he was about to say, “should have seen the chaos once we got Miss Ritchi out of there. Not bad for a beginner’s evil laugh, Miss Ritchi.”
Roxanne replied sarcastically, “Well, I haven’t practiced for hours in front of a mirror. Now can you fix this?” she demanded. Minion had picked up speed and began swerving in between cars in a rather nauseating manner. Megamind turned and looked back out at the street and conveniently broke eye contact with her. Which was fine. Having a conversation with your face replying back to you was just bizarre.
“We haven’t had a chance to examine all the variables yet,” he started. “That being said, for all we know the effects are purely temporary. If we stay within a close proximity of each other, it’s possible we could spontaneously switch back.”
Roxanne clutched her stomach as a sudden pain shot through it and sarcastically replied back, “Oh yeah. Because people who hang out together always switch back and forth between bodies. Totally normal.”
“If you must know, Miss Ritchi,” he began in a huffy, offended sounding voice, “that is not the basis for my hypothesis. This,” he gestured to himself in her body, “is not the natural state of things. And our bodies always strive to maintain their natural state. If we stay close, it’s possible that our bodies will recognize where we are supposed to be and… Are you alright?” he had turned in his seat to look at her and interrupted himself. She opened her eyes that she didn’t realize she had clenched shut and uncurled herself out of the ball she suddenly found herself in.
“Minion, I don’t normally look that pale, do I?” he gestured towards Roxanne.
Minion glanced up in the rear-view mirror then looked back at the road before replying, “Oh no, Sir. You usually have a much healthier color about you.”
Roxanne interrupted, “I’m just getting car sick is all. Minion, could you slow down a hair?”
Megamind looked at her thoughtfully, “Odd… I never have equilibrium problems… Miss Ritchi, just out of curiosity, what world-class quee-sine did you partake of in the city’s finest lock-down facility?”
Roxanne moaned then replied, “They served some yellow rubber that might have been eggs at one point in time and some toast. There was sealed yogurt and orange juice, so I had those. They seemed the safest.”
“Sir!” Minion exclaimed sharply in a panicked voice.
“They gave me yogurt?!” Megamind yelled in shock, “They know better than that!”
Minion replied immediately, “Yes, but Sir, you know better than to eat it! How are you feeling, Miss Ritchi? How long ago did you ingest the yogurt?”
She was watching the two aliens in the front seat freak out and it was making her uneasy. “I ate it about an hour and a half ago. I’m nauseous and getting kinda worried. Why are you two freaking out?”
Megamind gave her a pitying look and replied, “There’s something about yogurt that my body just can’t handle. I’m afraid today is only going to get worse, Miss Ritchi.”
“Wonderful,” she muttered. “Because today has been awesome so far. Any other allergies I should be aware of?”
Megamind coughed and looked away for a minute, “Maybe a few…” he murmured. Then continued, “But don’t worry! Minion is well aware of my dietary restrictions. He’ll take good care of you, right Minion?”
“You bet, Miss Ritchi!” Minion enthused, then glanced at Megamind and continued, “Uhh, Miss Ritchi, do you have any allergies we should be aware of?”
“Shellfish. I blow up like a balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and can die.” She glared at Megamind then, “And I swear to God, Megamind, if you die in my body I will find a way to bring you back and then kill you again.”
Megamind smirked at her, “Point taken, Miss Ritchi. Now eyes closed. We can’t have you finding our Evil Lair.”
“At least the bag won’t fit…” Roxanne said while bent over with her arms wrapped around her stomach. She was too busy attempting to not throw up to be worried about where they were driving. A few minutes later, she realized that they had pulled into a building somewhere just as the car came to a stop. She heard the two front doors open and close and then a muffled conversation before the door beside her opened.
“…liquids. Set it up in the bedroom.”
“On it, Sir!” she heard Minion answer and start to walk away.
Megamind reached his hand out to her and said, “Come on out, Miss Ritchi. Getting sick in the invisible car would be unpleasant for all of us.” She shot him a look but let him help her out of the car. She stumbled a bit as her stomach cramped again. Megamind wrapped an arm around her back and in a surprisingly gentle gesture started leading her off to what must have been the living area of the lair. He asked her softly, “Toilet or bed?”
Roxanne groaned with another cramp, “Toilet first. I think I need to worship the throne…” Megamind nodded and continued to lead her to what she presumed was the bathroom with a frown of concentration on his face.
Finally he broke the silence, “I don’t understand that colloquialism.”
Roxanne started to say something, then closed her mouth and snorted while trying not to laugh. Megamind raised an eyebrow and looked at her. She shook her head, looked over at him and explained, “I was about to say that ‘you’ll get a better idea when you hold my hair back,’ but I guess that’s not really applicable at the moment.” She reached a blue hand up and placed it on her currently bald head.
“Oh…” he looked away from her, “We will fix this,” he said determinedly. Then he turned dramatic, “After all, I’m putting all my incredible intellect towards this one goal! No one can stop me! Bwahahahaha!”
“Ok, no more evil laughing with my voice. That just sounds wrong. Give me a nudge next time and I’ll do it for you,” she said with a small smile at his disgruntled expression. She saw that the open door in front of her led to the bathroom, muttered a quick, “’Scuse me,” and ran inside to the toilet.
The door didn’t shut behind her and suddenly Megamind understood her earlier metaphor.
To be continued…
Just FYI, I don’t have anything against yogurt. It was just the first food I thought of that fit the circumstances I was looking for. And thanks for the reviews, everyone. They always make me smile.
Ch1 - http://megamind-movie.livejournal.com/1920985.html
Ch2 - http://megamind-movie.livejournal.com/1921733.html
Ch3 - http://megamind-movie.livejournal.com/1921890.html
Author: LadyStina2
Rating: PG
Ch Summary: Megamind and Minion break Roxanne out of prison.
Ch 4 - Beside Myself (Part 1)
It was the next morning and the best Roxanne had managed for sleep was a light doze for an hour or two. Surprisingly, she didn’t feel the normal fuzziness that comes after a sleepless night. She was just beginning to wonder if the inside of the TV would be more interesting than what they were showing on the screen when she heard a breakfast tray being slid through the slot in the door.
“Yay, room service,” she muttered sarcastically and moved over to the tray. She saw an unappetizing yellow mass that she suspected was supposed to be scrambled eggs. It looked more like yellow rubber though. There was also a piece of toast, a sealed container of yogurt, and a sealed plastic cup of orange juice. She decided that the yogurt and the orange juice looked the safest and removed them from the tray to eat in the chair. With all those wall-bound caricatures of creatures staring at her. They just got creepier the longer she stayed in here. Now she also understood the thought process behind the creation of the Rock’em-Sock’em Kittens Megamind had created a year or two ago. She was willing to bet that it was shortly after they painted this room.
She was also beginning to understand how he had so many different plans. There was nothing to do in here but think. And when Minion originally contacted her thinking she was Megamind, the escape wasn’t going to happen for a week. She ate the unidentifiable yogurt and drank her juice then threw the trash back on the tray. She was pretty impressed because she managed that with an over-the-shoulder shot. After she made the shot, she frowned as she realized that she had taken into account angles, wind resistance and velocity. Why was she taking those into account anyway?!
Roxanne stood up and began pacing. It was getting harder and harder to sit still. Wasn’t there supposed to be time in an exercise yard or something? Wait. Bad idea. There would probably be other prisoners out there at the same time. Where was her ‘cooperative kidnapping?’ It was 8:17 already. When are visiting hours anyway?
She paced for another twenty-two minutes with her mind continuously jumping from idea to idle speculation and back again. Finally the window in the doorway slid open and she saw the warden there giving her a flat look.
“Morning, Warden,” she said, attempting to be non-antagonizing. It was still really weird to hear Megamind’s voice whenever she talked.
“Megamind.” He stated without any inflection. Then he rose an eyebrow her. “It seems that reporter you’ve taken a shine to has come to interview you.”
“Really?” Roxanne asked a little smugly and allowed a slight smile to play about her lips. She reminded herself to act like him, “Miss Ritchi coming all this way to see me? There must be trouble in paradise.”
“I doubt that. Hands in front,” he commanded.
Roxanne obediently put her blue hands in front of her and then the door slid open. The warden was flanked by two wary-looking guards whose hands were straying awfully close to their night-sticks. The warden placed the shackles on her hands and feet again and started to escort her to the visiting area.
They entered a room that had a partition the entire way across that was filled with about ten little cubicles, each with a phone on the side. Strangely they were all empty except the one in the middle where she spotted her body wearing dark clothes with untamed hair on the other side of the glass. The two guards settled in on either side of the door they just entered. The warden gave a little nod and left the room. She took the hint and shuffled over to the cubicle across from Megamind in her body.
When she sat down, Megamind tapped the open notebook in front of him and reached for the phone. She involuntary looked at the notebook as she reached for the phone and saw a message facing her that read, “Act like me. Being monitored.”
She didn’t make any outward appearance that she noticed the note and said into the phone, “So, we meet again, Miss Ritchi. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Megamind,” her body greeted. “This was my boss’s idea, so let’s just get through this, ok? I just have a few questions.”
“Ask away, Miss Ritchi!” she replied grandly. If he wanted her to imitate him, she would do so. And hopefully annoy him too.
“How does it feel to be the most feared villain in Metroc,” Megamind coughed a bit to cover his near slip-up then continued with precise enunciation, “Metro City?” He gave another little fake cough, “Sorry. Dust.”
Roxanne shot him a very quick glare to give him the real answer, then started acting again. “Well, being the most feared villain in Metrocity,” she made sure to mispronounce it like he always did, “is one of my goals. The only thing standing in my way of taking over this city is that blasted Metro Mahn.” She had heard enough of his monologging over the years to give the standing answer. Megamind jotted down some notes as she answered. She glanced over, curious as to what he was writing and saw that he was writing something upside down and backwards. She realized that he was sending her another message that was right-side up to her, but making it look like natural writing from a distance. Here was another thing this overly-dramatic person was being subtle about.
When he was done, he idly tapped his pen against the notebook and Roxanne quickly read the new message facing her. “Bots through roof. Two minutes. Laugh when leaving.”
“And once you defeat Metro Man,” there was that over-enunciation again, “what do you plan to do with Metro City?”
How in the world was she supposed to answer that? She doubted that he knew what he would do if that ever happened. Oh well, they just had to stall for another minute or so. “That, Miss Ritchi, has yet to be seen. What is life without surprises, after all? Although the position of Evil Queen is still open…” she hated that she just said that, but she was playing a role and he always offered her the position of ‘Evil Queen’ when talking about taking over the city.
She was taken aback by the look of intense sadness that momentarily crossed her own eyes as Megamind replied with her standard refusal, “Ha! You wish, Megamind.”
Before Roxanne could analyze that look in his eyes, there was a loud crash as the ceiling behind her suddenly developed a hole and dozens of brainbots quickly poured inside in a threatening spiral formation. Several broke out of formation and surrounded the guards and disarmed them before they could move. Roxanne stood up quickly and smirked while the rest circled around her. A couple approached closer and bit right through the chains that bound her hands and feet. Suddenly, a few gripped her under her arms and lifted her off the ground while the rest provided cover. As she was being airlifted out the hole, she went ahead and gave an evil laugh since it would show she was cooperating.
She was quickly carried outside the gates and set down beside the road. A car door opened out of thin air next to her as the brainbots took to the sky.
“Quickly, Miss Ritchi,” she heard Minion’s voice from inside the invisible car. She hopped in and closed the door. Before she even had the door shut, Minion put the car in gear and took off.
“What about, Megamind?” she asked.
“I’m sure Sir will be interrogated about your escape. We’ll lay low and pick him up when he’s done,” he answered.
“Ok,” she replied. And then they just sat there in silence. She realized that this was her first time to be conscious in the invisible car and started studying the dash with all the custom dials and gizmos. “What’s this switch do?” she finally asked to break the silence.
Minion was busy parking alongside the road. Once he parked, he turned in his bowl and replied a bit sheepishly, “I’m really not at liberty to discuss that, Miss Ritchi. Until we get everything sorted out, I think it’d be best if you’d try to rein in your natural curiosity. These are unusual circumstances, after all.”
Roxanne looked down at her currently blue hands and muttered, “Tell me about it…” She looked back at Minion and nearly pleaded, “He can fix this, right? Does he know what happened? He seemed surprised.”
Minion fluttered his fins before replying, “Don’t you worry, Miss Ritchi. We’ll get this figured out in no time! Right now, we only know the arc flash from the electromagnet hit the escape teleporter, but we plan to view the footage this afternoon. Hopefully we’ll see something that Sir missed in the excitement. And I can guarantee that this was never in any of our evil plans.”
“Good thing I have vacation saved up,” she muttered then asked, “What did Megamind tell my boss this morning about me missing work? I need to know the cover story.”
“Sir didn’t contact anyone this morning,” Minion replied.
“What?! But…. my job! And I… he…” she growled in frustration and continued with air quotes, “’Megamind’ was in prison this morning! I can’t even blame not coming in on an early-morning kidnapping. And I know my name will be leaked out because ‘I’ was here when ‘Megamind’ escaped! He needs to hurry up so we can do some damage control.” She frowned as her stomach tightened and she thought of possible scenarios of why she wouldn’t come in or call and visit Megamind in prison.
“I’m sorry, Miss Ritchi,” Minion apologized. “We’ve never held a... paying?... job before. We just didn’t think of having to notify anyone about your absence.”
She sighed and rubbed her temples. She still wasn’t used to the unfamiliar bone structure under her fingers when she did that. “It’s ok, Minion. I’ll figure something out.”
Out of morbid curiosity more than anything else, she flipped down the visor to look in the vanity mirror. She stared at the blue face staring back at her. This was the first time she had access to a mirror since they had switched. She brought a shaking hand up and touched her face. And everything suddenly felt real. Not the shock of seeing her own face staring at her or the unfamiliar hands and clothing held in front of her or even the massive embarrassment of using the bathroom with unfamiliar plumbing. No. It was looking at a face other than hers in a mirror that brought it all home. The face in the mirror scrunched itself up and the unnaturally green eyes started to shine as she willed herself not to start crying. Why did everything have to get so messed up?
Minion had been watching her curiously then jumped in with, “Oh no! Not you too, Miss Ritchi! We’ll fix this!” He hesitantly placed a metallic hand on her shoulder. Roxanne nodded and placed a hand over Minion’s to thank him for his comfort. She put the visor back up so she wouldn’t have to see anymore.
“It…it just hit me, you know?” she said softly. “Out of everything else, it was seeing a different face in the mirror…”
Minion gave her a smile, “Don’t feel bad, Miss Ritchi. Sir had a break-down last night.” A beeping sound started. “Ahh, speaking of which, looks like Sir is ready to be picked up. Can you move to the backseat? We need to stay invisible so I’ll need to open the door for him.” She nodded, turned around and crawled into the backseat.
Minion drove back around the prison and headed towards Megamind. Once Minion pulled up alongside him, Minion reached over and opened the door.
“Need a lift?” Minion asked her body in a playful tone that she had rarely heard before. Megamind jumped in with a laugh and quickly closed the door as Minion took off.
“Minion! You…,“ he started excitedly, then glanced back at her and obviously changed what he was about to say, “should have seen the chaos once we got Miss Ritchi out of there. Not bad for a beginner’s evil laugh, Miss Ritchi.”
Roxanne replied sarcastically, “Well, I haven’t practiced for hours in front of a mirror. Now can you fix this?” she demanded. Minion had picked up speed and began swerving in between cars in a rather nauseating manner. Megamind turned and looked back out at the street and conveniently broke eye contact with her. Which was fine. Having a conversation with your face replying back to you was just bizarre.
“We haven’t had a chance to examine all the variables yet,” he started. “That being said, for all we know the effects are purely temporary. If we stay within a close proximity of each other, it’s possible we could spontaneously switch back.”
Roxanne clutched her stomach as a sudden pain shot through it and sarcastically replied back, “Oh yeah. Because people who hang out together always switch back and forth between bodies. Totally normal.”
“If you must know, Miss Ritchi,” he began in a huffy, offended sounding voice, “that is not the basis for my hypothesis. This,” he gestured to himself in her body, “is not the natural state of things. And our bodies always strive to maintain their natural state. If we stay close, it’s possible that our bodies will recognize where we are supposed to be and… Are you alright?” he had turned in his seat to look at her and interrupted himself. She opened her eyes that she didn’t realize she had clenched shut and uncurled herself out of the ball she suddenly found herself in.
“Minion, I don’t normally look that pale, do I?” he gestured towards Roxanne.
Minion glanced up in the rear-view mirror then looked back at the road before replying, “Oh no, Sir. You usually have a much healthier color about you.”
Roxanne interrupted, “I’m just getting car sick is all. Minion, could you slow down a hair?”
Megamind looked at her thoughtfully, “Odd… I never have equilibrium problems… Miss Ritchi, just out of curiosity, what world-class quee-sine did you partake of in the city’s finest lock-down facility?”
Roxanne moaned then replied, “They served some yellow rubber that might have been eggs at one point in time and some toast. There was sealed yogurt and orange juice, so I had those. They seemed the safest.”
“Sir!” Minion exclaimed sharply in a panicked voice.
“They gave me yogurt?!” Megamind yelled in shock, “They know better than that!”
Minion replied immediately, “Yes, but Sir, you know better than to eat it! How are you feeling, Miss Ritchi? How long ago did you ingest the yogurt?”
She was watching the two aliens in the front seat freak out and it was making her uneasy. “I ate it about an hour and a half ago. I’m nauseous and getting kinda worried. Why are you two freaking out?”
Megamind gave her a pitying look and replied, “There’s something about yogurt that my body just can’t handle. I’m afraid today is only going to get worse, Miss Ritchi.”
“Wonderful,” she muttered. “Because today has been awesome so far. Any other allergies I should be aware of?”
Megamind coughed and looked away for a minute, “Maybe a few…” he murmured. Then continued, “But don’t worry! Minion is well aware of my dietary restrictions. He’ll take good care of you, right Minion?”
“You bet, Miss Ritchi!” Minion enthused, then glanced at Megamind and continued, “Uhh, Miss Ritchi, do you have any allergies we should be aware of?”
“Shellfish. I blow up like a balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and can die.” She glared at Megamind then, “And I swear to God, Megamind, if you die in my body I will find a way to bring you back and then kill you again.”
Megamind smirked at her, “Point taken, Miss Ritchi. Now eyes closed. We can’t have you finding our Evil Lair.”
“At least the bag won’t fit…” Roxanne said while bent over with her arms wrapped around her stomach. She was too busy attempting to not throw up to be worried about where they were driving. A few minutes later, she realized that they had pulled into a building somewhere just as the car came to a stop. She heard the two front doors open and close and then a muffled conversation before the door beside her opened.
“…liquids. Set it up in the bedroom.”
“On it, Sir!” she heard Minion answer and start to walk away.
Megamind reached his hand out to her and said, “Come on out, Miss Ritchi. Getting sick in the invisible car would be unpleasant for all of us.” She shot him a look but let him help her out of the car. She stumbled a bit as her stomach cramped again. Megamind wrapped an arm around her back and in a surprisingly gentle gesture started leading her off to what must have been the living area of the lair. He asked her softly, “Toilet or bed?”
Roxanne groaned with another cramp, “Toilet first. I think I need to worship the throne…” Megamind nodded and continued to lead her to what she presumed was the bathroom with a frown of concentration on his face.
Finally he broke the silence, “I don’t understand that colloquialism.”
Roxanne started to say something, then closed her mouth and snorted while trying not to laugh. Megamind raised an eyebrow and looked at her. She shook her head, looked over at him and explained, “I was about to say that ‘you’ll get a better idea when you hold my hair back,’ but I guess that’s not really applicable at the moment.” She reached a blue hand up and placed it on her currently bald head.
“Oh…” he looked away from her, “We will fix this,” he said determinedly. Then he turned dramatic, “After all, I’m putting all my incredible intellect towards this one goal! No one can stop me! Bwahahahaha!”
“Ok, no more evil laughing with my voice. That just sounds wrong. Give me a nudge next time and I’ll do it for you,” she said with a small smile at his disgruntled expression. She saw that the open door in front of her led to the bathroom, muttered a quick, “’Scuse me,” and ran inside to the toilet.
The door didn’t shut behind her and suddenly Megamind understood her earlier metaphor.
To be continued…
Just FYI, I don’t have anything against yogurt. It was just the first food I thought of that fit the circumstances I was looking for. And thanks for the reviews, everyone. They always make me smile.
Ch1 - http://megamind-movie.livejournal.com/1920985.html
Ch2 - http://megamind-movie.livejournal.com/1921733.html
Ch3 - http://megamind-movie.livejournal.com/1921890.html