Mile in My Shoes - Ch5 - Beside Myself (Part 2)
Title: A Mile in My Shoes
Author: LadyStina2
Rating: PG
Chapter Summary: Roxanne learns some of the horrors of yogurt and Megamind learns how to play hooky and decides to run an errand! (lol, this sounds lame but I'm trying not to give anything away...)
Ch 5 - Beside Myself (Part 2)
While Roxanne was emptying the contents of her stomach in the hall bathroom, Megamind filled a glass of water from the sink to give her when she was ready for it. He was trying not to let on, but he was extremely worried. He had only had yogurt twice in his life, once when he was three and again when he was five. Both times he was extremely ill and the second time his heart actually stopped. If both he and Minion hadn't been in the prison infirmary at the time, he might have died. That was also when the warden and Dr. Palmer discovered that Minion could talk when he yelled for their help. From that day on, the warden made sure everyone knew not to serve him that foul substance.
He heard Roxanne flush the toilet and handed her the glass of water he still held. She took it and rinsed out her mouth.
She got shakily to her feet and groaned, "I am never eating yogurt again… Mouthwash?" Megamind pointed to the sink behind her and stayed close in case she collapsed or something.
When she finished cleaning up, he took her by the elbow and led her to his bedroom. He knew that this dairy dilemma had only just started and he wanted to get his body hooked up to monitors as soon as possible. If Metro Moron couldn't keep him down, he would be damned if fermented milk would. They entered his bedroom and saw that Minion was already there. He had wheeled in the heart-monitor and the IV-stand along with the fluids Megamind asked for.
"Miss Ritchi," Megamind started, "Have a seat and let me get those cuffs off you. Afterwards you can change out of those itchy coveralls." He gestured towards a chair as he rummaged in a nearby drawer for a key to unlock the remains of the shackles she still wore. "Ah ha!" he exclaimed as he found the key and lifted it above his head triumphantly. Grinning he approached Roxanne, "Hands, please." He deftly unlocked the cuffs that still remained on her wrists and ankles from her prison visit. She immediately rubbed her wrists when then cuffs were removed.
Megamind informed her, "There are pajamas on the bed. You can lie down if you'd like. We'll be back in a few." He was glad Minion laid out his plain black PJs instead of the more comfortable, yet slightly embarrassing, hazard symbol ones. Those were probably in the laundry. Megamind waved for Minion to follow him out of the room to give Roxanne privacy to change.
"How's she doing, Sir?" Minion asked once the door was closed.
"I'm not entirely sure, Minion. She got sick on the way here, but hasn't complained about anything else bothering her. She is unsteady on my feet though. Why did one of the jokesters have to be on breakfast duty today?! What precautions do we have?"
"Well, Sir, I brought in the heart monitor and the defibrillator. I've also prepped a saline solution to keep her hydrated with the IV and have some steroid shots on hand in case your body goes critical. I also have some tranquilizers or the knock-out spray in case we decide that sleeping is the best thing for her heart-rate. Oh, Sir! If I could, I would be sweating bullets! I don't know that I'm prepared for this…" Minion had started wringing his metallic hands together in worry.
Megamind placed one of his oddly pale hands on top of Minion's and the other against his dome and leaned in close. "Don't worry, Min-yon. You'll do fine! You've been patching me up for years! If you need to, go ahead and contact Dr. Palmer and see if you can find out exactly what happened last time. Feel free to threaten the prison's infrastructure if he gives you any lip."
Minion fluttered his gills in his version of taking a deep breath, "Thank you, Sir. I…I think we'll be fine with the equipment we have available. We may have to stock up on medical supplies once this situation blows over though."
"We'll do what's necessary, as always," Megamind replied loftily then knocked on his door. "Miss Ritchi, we're coming in," he called. Hearing no answer, he pushed the door open. He saw his body curled up on his bed in the black pajamas. He motioned Minion towards the heart monitor and said, "Turn it on." He then crossed to his bed and saw that Roxanne was still awake. "Awake I see," he teased. It was one of his lines he used sometimes during kidnappings.
Roxanne groaned then said, "It's shtarting to hurt too much to think about sleep."
"Tsk, that's too bad," he told her with genuine sympathy. It may have been years ago since he was in this condition, but he remembered it well. Until his heart stopped, anyway. "Lay on your back," he commanded her. She just shook her head. "Miss Ritchi," he started in an irritated tone, "you have requested that I not die in your body and I would ask that you return the favor. Lay on your back so we can attach the heart monitor."
"Die? From yogurt?" she asked a little incredulously.
"You have stated that it's a possibility when you eat shellfish. I fail to see what the difference is in this situate-shion," he stated.
"I would have to eat a ton of it for that to happen! I only had one small container of yogurt!" she protested.
"Then I guess I am more allergy-ic to yogurt than you are to shellfish. Congratulations. You win. Now, straighten up and allow us to attach the heart monitor," he said in exasperation. She frowned up at him, but she did turn over to lie on her back. Unthinkingly, he reached for the pajama top to unbutton it but Roxanne slapped his hand away then covered her upper chest with her arms while glowering at him.
"Oh for evil heaven's sake! What now?" he groused.
"What do you think you're doing?!" she asked with indignation.
"I think I'm opening that shirt so we can attach the electrodes to the proper areas. What are you doing?" he snapped back.
"I'm stopping you from being inappropriate!"
"Inapprue-pirate?! That's my body you currently inhabit, Miss Ritchi. I think I've seen it before. Now let's get these attached, or do I need Minion to get the knock-out spray?" she was still glowering at him and he crossed his arms to challengingly stare down at her.
"Uh, Sir? Miss Ritchi?" Minion interrupted. "I can attach them without her removing her shirt if you'll allow me, Miss Ritchi. I'll be totally professional about it. Honest." He raised his hands in supplication. Megamind was giving them both dirty looks. This situation was just ridiculous. She's being stubborn and Minion is just enabling her.
Roxanne glared at Megamind again for good measure then replied to Minion, "I guess so Minion. And thank you," she shot Megamind another glare before continuing, "for being considerate of my person."
"Oh for the love of science!" Megamind threw his hands in the air dramatically and stomped away to the other side of the room and resolutely kept his back turned. He heard Roxanne gasp and mutter about Minion's hands being cold. Well what did she expect from a metal suit?
When he finally heard the heart monitor respond, he rushed over to it to check her vitals. Thankfully everything looked normal compared to his baseline readings. He gave a sigh of relief. He strapped the remote monitoring and communication device to his wrist and turned to Minion.
"Minion, I'm going to collect the cameras from," he flicked his eyes to Roxanne, "yesterday's site. Keep an eye on Miss Ritchi and keep her hydrated. Contact me if her condition changes." He held up his wrist and showed Minion the device he strapped on to let him know how to contact him.
"Right, Boss," Minion agreed and Megamind started heading for the door.
"Wait. Megamind," he heard his own voice call.
He stopped and turned towards the bed, "Yes, Miss Ritchi?"
Roxanne had propped herself up on an elbow, but the expressive blue face she was borrowing was scrunched up in pain. "You need to call my boss. I should have been at work hours ago."
He frowned as he replied, "What on Earth for?"
"Because," she said in that exaggerated way of hers, "people with normal jobs are held accountable for their time. If they have to miss a day unexpectedly, they have to call to let someone know. I can usually slide with 'Oh, I was kidnapped,' because somehow that's become part of my job expectations. But 'you' were in prison this morning and 'I' visited you. So now we have to come up with something plausible so I don't get fired."
"Miss Ritchi, I highly doubt that KMCP will fire their star reporter," he started in a slightly condescending voice but then thought about something she mentioned. "Wait… Have you faked a kidnapping to get out of work?!" he asked incredulously. A purple tint darkened her cheeks as she looked away from him. "You have!" he gasped and pointed at her.
"I…I needed a day off!" she started defiantly, but then continued sheepishly, "And I needed to go shopping…" blushing even more when she confessed.
Megamind couldn't help but laugh at the fact that she could be so deliciously devious. Then he trailed off and looked down at his currently normal-colored hands as he thought about her excuses. He could go shopping. And no one would stare or laugh or scream or throw things or try to arrest him…
"Minion…" he said reverently while still staring at his borrowed hands and thoroughly forgetting about Roxanne being in the same room. He swallowed and tried again, "Minion, you've always wanted to try Chinese food, right? I…I can… pick some up… I look human…"
"Oh! Oh, Sir! Could you?" Minion looked overjoyed at just the thought. They had several recipes, but the fish had never had a baseline for what the food was supposed to taste like. He had been complaining about that very thing nearly a month ago. Complete with an uncharacteristic fit of frustration that ended with a thrown cook book.
Megamind felt a smile playing about his lips when a voice broke into their little bubble of joy, "You've never had Chinese?"
When he registered what she said, he schooled his face into a look of indifference and replied haughtily, "We are much too busy to worry about what worldly regions our food originates."
He was thoroughly embarrassed about what she just witnessed. Roxanne didn't need to know that neither he nor Minion had ever picked up food from a restaurant. They couldn't exactly wait in line, even before he started gaining notoriety as a supervillain. And you couldn't exactly hold them up to cook dinner for you. The cops would be there before the food was done, not to mention it was incredibly crass and beneath the actions of a supervillain. The best they could do was to pick up something in a drive-thru, and even that involved drawing the De-gun more often than not. He and Minion had always made do with what they could fix for themselves (ok…mostly Minion) once they broke out of prison and never really questioned it.
Megamind saw Minion's face drop with disappointment at the presumed lost opportunity. Megamind caught his eye and gave him a wide smile and a wink to let him know that they would be having authentic, restaurant-style Americanized Chinese food that evening. He schooled his face again and looked at Roxanne who was starting to curl up in a ball.
"So, Miss Ritchi, what shall I tell your boss? And how can I contact him?"
"I don't know," she moaned with pain. A moment later she said, "Tell him I'm sick so I'm not coming in for a few days. We should be fixed by then, right?"
"Of course, Miss Ritchi. It's Mr. Lershon, right?" he asked as he remembered what the annoying man at her apartment the day before had said.
"Lawson. And call him Dan. Don't answer any questions. He's another 'nosy reporter.' Do you have my purse? My cell phone should be in there."
"Minion, the purse is in the car. And grab some petty cash. I need to pay Miss Ritchi back for the cab I took yesterday."
"Yes, Sir!" Minion left the room still excited about their lunch.
Megamind turned towards the bed and asked, "How are you feeling, Miss Ritchi? Still nauseous? Are you having any problems breathing?"
Roxanne groaned while still holding her stomach and answered, "My stomach feels like it's eating itself, and yes I'm still nauseous. Breathing seems fine."
"Heart rate's normal," he muttered to himself after checking the monitoring station. "Well, Miss Ritchi, so far so good. We can hope that my immune system is better now than when I was a child. Also, proportionate to my current body weight and the amount of yogurt ingested, the ratio is less than the last time I ate it. I think I will have Minion call Dr. Palmer though. It's possible I don't remember the sequence of events correctly…" he trailed off in thought. Then he stated, "You need fluids. Think you can keep something down, or do you want an IV?"
Roxanne uncurled herself slightly and sat up, "I'll try to keep something down."
Megamind handed her a sports drink that Minion had brought in earlier. He couldn't help but notice she was giving him a scrutinizing look as he did so. He needed to get this situation fixed quickly. She was too talented at digging up details, and having her stay here was giving her too many opportunities to learn stuff that wasn't any of her business. Until she agreed to become his Evil Queen, anyway…
"The electrolytes should help with the dehydration," he told her. "There is a trash can by the bed if you can't make it to the bathroom," he pointed in the direction of the bathroom that connected to his bedroom. "Minion will stay with you while I'm out. Get some sleep, that might help. And, Miss Ritchi, try to keep that insatiable curiosity of yours in check," he shot her a look.
Roxanne took the plastic bottle from her mouth and waved a hand dismissively, "Yeah, yeah." She gave him that examining look again and said quietly, "You know, most of them deliver… You can just meet them in a parking lot." His eyes widened slightly. They do? Since when? And why wasn't that advertized anywhere? They could use the Pizza Protocol. The door opened before he said anything to dig himself into a deeper hole and Minion entered.
"Here ya go, Sir," the excited fish said as he handed over Roxanne's purse and a stack of cash. Megamind grinned at him and opened the purse to find the cell phone.
"Ahem," Roxanne said. "Hand it over, Spaceman." He huffed and shoved the purse at her.
"I don't see what the big deal is," he grumbled.
"It's personal," she said absently as she pulled the phone from inside its depths. She flipped it open and muttered something about voicemails. She closed it and looked at him directly, "Ok, let's hear your sick voice."
"My wha…?" he asked in confusion.
"You're calling in sick. Let's hear it," she commanded.
"Um…hi, it's Roxanne. I'm too sick to go to work today," he said without changing his borrowed voice.
"No, no, no. They'll never believe you like that. Deepen the voice a bit and only breathe through the mouth. Try to make the voice crack some."
"Call in fake-sick often, Miss Ritchi? Do you switch out with the fake-kidnappings?" he asked, genuinely curious.
She blushed slightly and said, "Just try it again." He practiced a few more times with Roxanne giving him pointers until she was happy with his performance. He was enjoying himself too. Here he was, talking to Roxanne without her being excessively antagonizing and he wasn't busy trying to impress her with his newest destructive devices. Even though the circumstances weren't the greatest, he was still spending time with her.
Eventually she declared him ready. Well… declared him good enough to fool her boss anyway, and handed him the phone. He pressed a few buttons and found 'Dan' listed in her contacts. He took a deep breath and called.
"Dan Lawson," a voice answered absently.
"Dan, this is Roxanne," Megamind started, using the voice he'd been coached to use and the script he'd been told to follow.
"Roxanne! Where the hell are you?! Were you really at the prison?"
"Uh…I…" he wasn't really expecting to be interrupted. "I mean, look, I was sick this morning and slept in. I forgot to call. Then I thought to interview Megamind for that piece we talked about. He escaped in the middle and they just finished questioning me. Don, I think I pushed myself too much and I'm going back home. I'll be out for the next couple days too until I shake this illness."
"Roxie, we need you here," the man pleaded.
"Don, I look and sound terrible. I'm not going on camera like this, and I'm not going to infect half the building to sit at a desk and feel awful. I'm not coming in." Megamind saw Roxanne mouth the words 'hang up' and was giving an accompanying hand gesture. He closed the phone without saying anything else, and raised a questioning eyebrow at her.
"Well, besides you starting to call him 'Don' halfway through, it was passable. Now shoo, I think I'm gonna try to take a nap."
"Dan. Don. Same thing," he waved dismissively as he exited the room waving Minion with him. Once they were both in the hallway, Minion handed him some papers.
"Menus," he said. "I just printed them. That's what took me so long to get back."
"Perfect, Minion! Want to get one of everything? That should let us get a taste of the Orient!"
"Just remember your current shellfish allergy, Sir," Minion warned.
"That's right…" he had almost forgotten about that. "But we still need to get some shrimp for you! Oh, and Miss Ritchi informed me that some of these places deliver."
Minion's eyes widened. "They do?! We can use the Pizza Protocol!"
"Precisely!" Megamind agreed enthusiastically as he flipped open Roxanne's phone and called one of the restaurants. When a heavily accented voice answered, he switched to Mandarin to place their order. It wasn't often that he was able to use one of the many of the languages he knew, so he always jumped at the opportunity. When he finished, he gave Minion what felt like a manic smile and tossed him the cell phone. "I'm off! Prep the viewing station while I'm gone and have the brainbots reporter-proof the lair so Miss Ritchi can't poke around. And call Dr. Palmer while I'm out. Find out everything he knows about the past yogurt incidents."
"I'm on it, Sir! Good luck!" Minion gave a toothy grin before heading back into the bedroom.
To be continued...
Ch 1 - http://megamind-movie.livejournal.com/1920985.html
Ch 2 - http://megamind-movie.livejournal.com/1921733.html
Ch 3 - http://megamind-movie.livejournal.com/1921890.html
Ch 4 - http://megamind-movie.livejournal.com/1922168.html
Author: LadyStina2
Rating: PG
Chapter Summary: Roxanne learns some of the horrors of yogurt and Megamind learns how to play hooky and decides to run an errand! (lol, this sounds lame but I'm trying not to give anything away...)
Ch 5 - Beside Myself (Part 2)
While Roxanne was emptying the contents of her stomach in the hall bathroom, Megamind filled a glass of water from the sink to give her when she was ready for it. He was trying not to let on, but he was extremely worried. He had only had yogurt twice in his life, once when he was three and again when he was five. Both times he was extremely ill and the second time his heart actually stopped. If both he and Minion hadn't been in the prison infirmary at the time, he might have died. That was also when the warden and Dr. Palmer discovered that Minion could talk when he yelled for their help. From that day on, the warden made sure everyone knew not to serve him that foul substance.
He heard Roxanne flush the toilet and handed her the glass of water he still held. She took it and rinsed out her mouth.
She got shakily to her feet and groaned, "I am never eating yogurt again… Mouthwash?" Megamind pointed to the sink behind her and stayed close in case she collapsed or something.
When she finished cleaning up, he took her by the elbow and led her to his bedroom. He knew that this dairy dilemma had only just started and he wanted to get his body hooked up to monitors as soon as possible. If Metro Moron couldn't keep him down, he would be damned if fermented milk would. They entered his bedroom and saw that Minion was already there. He had wheeled in the heart-monitor and the IV-stand along with the fluids Megamind asked for.
"Miss Ritchi," Megamind started, "Have a seat and let me get those cuffs off you. Afterwards you can change out of those itchy coveralls." He gestured towards a chair as he rummaged in a nearby drawer for a key to unlock the remains of the shackles she still wore. "Ah ha!" he exclaimed as he found the key and lifted it above his head triumphantly. Grinning he approached Roxanne, "Hands, please." He deftly unlocked the cuffs that still remained on her wrists and ankles from her prison visit. She immediately rubbed her wrists when then cuffs were removed.
Megamind informed her, "There are pajamas on the bed. You can lie down if you'd like. We'll be back in a few." He was glad Minion laid out his plain black PJs instead of the more comfortable, yet slightly embarrassing, hazard symbol ones. Those were probably in the laundry. Megamind waved for Minion to follow him out of the room to give Roxanne privacy to change.
"How's she doing, Sir?" Minion asked once the door was closed.
"I'm not entirely sure, Minion. She got sick on the way here, but hasn't complained about anything else bothering her. She is unsteady on my feet though. Why did one of the jokesters have to be on breakfast duty today?! What precautions do we have?"
"Well, Sir, I brought in the heart monitor and the defibrillator. I've also prepped a saline solution to keep her hydrated with the IV and have some steroid shots on hand in case your body goes critical. I also have some tranquilizers or the knock-out spray in case we decide that sleeping is the best thing for her heart-rate. Oh, Sir! If I could, I would be sweating bullets! I don't know that I'm prepared for this…" Minion had started wringing his metallic hands together in worry.
Megamind placed one of his oddly pale hands on top of Minion's and the other against his dome and leaned in close. "Don't worry, Min-yon. You'll do fine! You've been patching me up for years! If you need to, go ahead and contact Dr. Palmer and see if you can find out exactly what happened last time. Feel free to threaten the prison's infrastructure if he gives you any lip."
Minion fluttered his gills in his version of taking a deep breath, "Thank you, Sir. I…I think we'll be fine with the equipment we have available. We may have to stock up on medical supplies once this situation blows over though."
"We'll do what's necessary, as always," Megamind replied loftily then knocked on his door. "Miss Ritchi, we're coming in," he called. Hearing no answer, he pushed the door open. He saw his body curled up on his bed in the black pajamas. He motioned Minion towards the heart monitor and said, "Turn it on." He then crossed to his bed and saw that Roxanne was still awake. "Awake I see," he teased. It was one of his lines he used sometimes during kidnappings.
Roxanne groaned then said, "It's shtarting to hurt too much to think about sleep."
"Tsk, that's too bad," he told her with genuine sympathy. It may have been years ago since he was in this condition, but he remembered it well. Until his heart stopped, anyway. "Lay on your back," he commanded her. She just shook her head. "Miss Ritchi," he started in an irritated tone, "you have requested that I not die in your body and I would ask that you return the favor. Lay on your back so we can attach the heart monitor."
"Die? From yogurt?" she asked a little incredulously.
"You have stated that it's a possibility when you eat shellfish. I fail to see what the difference is in this situate-shion," he stated.
"I would have to eat a ton of it for that to happen! I only had one small container of yogurt!" she protested.
"Then I guess I am more allergy-ic to yogurt than you are to shellfish. Congratulations. You win. Now, straighten up and allow us to attach the heart monitor," he said in exasperation. She frowned up at him, but she did turn over to lie on her back. Unthinkingly, he reached for the pajama top to unbutton it but Roxanne slapped his hand away then covered her upper chest with her arms while glowering at him.
"Oh for evil heaven's sake! What now?" he groused.
"What do you think you're doing?!" she asked with indignation.
"I think I'm opening that shirt so we can attach the electrodes to the proper areas. What are you doing?" he snapped back.
"I'm stopping you from being inappropriate!"
"Inapprue-pirate?! That's my body you currently inhabit, Miss Ritchi. I think I've seen it before. Now let's get these attached, or do I need Minion to get the knock-out spray?" she was still glowering at him and he crossed his arms to challengingly stare down at her.
"Uh, Sir? Miss Ritchi?" Minion interrupted. "I can attach them without her removing her shirt if you'll allow me, Miss Ritchi. I'll be totally professional about it. Honest." He raised his hands in supplication. Megamind was giving them both dirty looks. This situation was just ridiculous. She's being stubborn and Minion is just enabling her.
Roxanne glared at Megamind again for good measure then replied to Minion, "I guess so Minion. And thank you," she shot Megamind another glare before continuing, "for being considerate of my person."
"Oh for the love of science!" Megamind threw his hands in the air dramatically and stomped away to the other side of the room and resolutely kept his back turned. He heard Roxanne gasp and mutter about Minion's hands being cold. Well what did she expect from a metal suit?
When he finally heard the heart monitor respond, he rushed over to it to check her vitals. Thankfully everything looked normal compared to his baseline readings. He gave a sigh of relief. He strapped the remote monitoring and communication device to his wrist and turned to Minion.
"Minion, I'm going to collect the cameras from," he flicked his eyes to Roxanne, "yesterday's site. Keep an eye on Miss Ritchi and keep her hydrated. Contact me if her condition changes." He held up his wrist and showed Minion the device he strapped on to let him know how to contact him.
"Right, Boss," Minion agreed and Megamind started heading for the door.
"Wait. Megamind," he heard his own voice call.
He stopped and turned towards the bed, "Yes, Miss Ritchi?"
Roxanne had propped herself up on an elbow, but the expressive blue face she was borrowing was scrunched up in pain. "You need to call my boss. I should have been at work hours ago."
He frowned as he replied, "What on Earth for?"
"Because," she said in that exaggerated way of hers, "people with normal jobs are held accountable for their time. If they have to miss a day unexpectedly, they have to call to let someone know. I can usually slide with 'Oh, I was kidnapped,' because somehow that's become part of my job expectations. But 'you' were in prison this morning and 'I' visited you. So now we have to come up with something plausible so I don't get fired."
"Miss Ritchi, I highly doubt that KMCP will fire their star reporter," he started in a slightly condescending voice but then thought about something she mentioned. "Wait… Have you faked a kidnapping to get out of work?!" he asked incredulously. A purple tint darkened her cheeks as she looked away from him. "You have!" he gasped and pointed at her.
"I…I needed a day off!" she started defiantly, but then continued sheepishly, "And I needed to go shopping…" blushing even more when she confessed.
Megamind couldn't help but laugh at the fact that she could be so deliciously devious. Then he trailed off and looked down at his currently normal-colored hands as he thought about her excuses. He could go shopping. And no one would stare or laugh or scream or throw things or try to arrest him…
"Minion…" he said reverently while still staring at his borrowed hands and thoroughly forgetting about Roxanne being in the same room. He swallowed and tried again, "Minion, you've always wanted to try Chinese food, right? I…I can… pick some up… I look human…"
"Oh! Oh, Sir! Could you?" Minion looked overjoyed at just the thought. They had several recipes, but the fish had never had a baseline for what the food was supposed to taste like. He had been complaining about that very thing nearly a month ago. Complete with an uncharacteristic fit of frustration that ended with a thrown cook book.
Megamind felt a smile playing about his lips when a voice broke into their little bubble of joy, "You've never had Chinese?"
When he registered what she said, he schooled his face into a look of indifference and replied haughtily, "We are much too busy to worry about what worldly regions our food originates."
He was thoroughly embarrassed about what she just witnessed. Roxanne didn't need to know that neither he nor Minion had ever picked up food from a restaurant. They couldn't exactly wait in line, even before he started gaining notoriety as a supervillain. And you couldn't exactly hold them up to cook dinner for you. The cops would be there before the food was done, not to mention it was incredibly crass and beneath the actions of a supervillain. The best they could do was to pick up something in a drive-thru, and even that involved drawing the De-gun more often than not. He and Minion had always made do with what they could fix for themselves (ok…mostly Minion) once they broke out of prison and never really questioned it.
Megamind saw Minion's face drop with disappointment at the presumed lost opportunity. Megamind caught his eye and gave him a wide smile and a wink to let him know that they would be having authentic, restaurant-style Americanized Chinese food that evening. He schooled his face again and looked at Roxanne who was starting to curl up in a ball.
"So, Miss Ritchi, what shall I tell your boss? And how can I contact him?"
"I don't know," she moaned with pain. A moment later she said, "Tell him I'm sick so I'm not coming in for a few days. We should be fixed by then, right?"
"Of course, Miss Ritchi. It's Mr. Lershon, right?" he asked as he remembered what the annoying man at her apartment the day before had said.
"Lawson. And call him Dan. Don't answer any questions. He's another 'nosy reporter.' Do you have my purse? My cell phone should be in there."
"Minion, the purse is in the car. And grab some petty cash. I need to pay Miss Ritchi back for the cab I took yesterday."
"Yes, Sir!" Minion left the room still excited about their lunch.
Megamind turned towards the bed and asked, "How are you feeling, Miss Ritchi? Still nauseous? Are you having any problems breathing?"
Roxanne groaned while still holding her stomach and answered, "My stomach feels like it's eating itself, and yes I'm still nauseous. Breathing seems fine."
"Heart rate's normal," he muttered to himself after checking the monitoring station. "Well, Miss Ritchi, so far so good. We can hope that my immune system is better now than when I was a child. Also, proportionate to my current body weight and the amount of yogurt ingested, the ratio is less than the last time I ate it. I think I will have Minion call Dr. Palmer though. It's possible I don't remember the sequence of events correctly…" he trailed off in thought. Then he stated, "You need fluids. Think you can keep something down, or do you want an IV?"
Roxanne uncurled herself slightly and sat up, "I'll try to keep something down."
Megamind handed her a sports drink that Minion had brought in earlier. He couldn't help but notice she was giving him a scrutinizing look as he did so. He needed to get this situation fixed quickly. She was too talented at digging up details, and having her stay here was giving her too many opportunities to learn stuff that wasn't any of her business. Until she agreed to become his Evil Queen, anyway…
"The electrolytes should help with the dehydration," he told her. "There is a trash can by the bed if you can't make it to the bathroom," he pointed in the direction of the bathroom that connected to his bedroom. "Minion will stay with you while I'm out. Get some sleep, that might help. And, Miss Ritchi, try to keep that insatiable curiosity of yours in check," he shot her a look.
Roxanne took the plastic bottle from her mouth and waved a hand dismissively, "Yeah, yeah." She gave him that examining look again and said quietly, "You know, most of them deliver… You can just meet them in a parking lot." His eyes widened slightly. They do? Since when? And why wasn't that advertized anywhere? They could use the Pizza Protocol. The door opened before he said anything to dig himself into a deeper hole and Minion entered.
"Here ya go, Sir," the excited fish said as he handed over Roxanne's purse and a stack of cash. Megamind grinned at him and opened the purse to find the cell phone.
"Ahem," Roxanne said. "Hand it over, Spaceman." He huffed and shoved the purse at her.
"I don't see what the big deal is," he grumbled.
"It's personal," she said absently as she pulled the phone from inside its depths. She flipped it open and muttered something about voicemails. She closed it and looked at him directly, "Ok, let's hear your sick voice."
"My wha…?" he asked in confusion.
"You're calling in sick. Let's hear it," she commanded.
"Um…hi, it's Roxanne. I'm too sick to go to work today," he said without changing his borrowed voice.
"No, no, no. They'll never believe you like that. Deepen the voice a bit and only breathe through the mouth. Try to make the voice crack some."
"Call in fake-sick often, Miss Ritchi? Do you switch out with the fake-kidnappings?" he asked, genuinely curious.
She blushed slightly and said, "Just try it again." He practiced a few more times with Roxanne giving him pointers until she was happy with his performance. He was enjoying himself too. Here he was, talking to Roxanne without her being excessively antagonizing and he wasn't busy trying to impress her with his newest destructive devices. Even though the circumstances weren't the greatest, he was still spending time with her.
Eventually she declared him ready. Well… declared him good enough to fool her boss anyway, and handed him the phone. He pressed a few buttons and found 'Dan' listed in her contacts. He took a deep breath and called.
"Dan Lawson," a voice answered absently.
"Dan, this is Roxanne," Megamind started, using the voice he'd been coached to use and the script he'd been told to follow.
"Roxanne! Where the hell are you?! Were you really at the prison?"
"Uh…I…" he wasn't really expecting to be interrupted. "I mean, look, I was sick this morning and slept in. I forgot to call. Then I thought to interview Megamind for that piece we talked about. He escaped in the middle and they just finished questioning me. Don, I think I pushed myself too much and I'm going back home. I'll be out for the next couple days too until I shake this illness."
"Roxie, we need you here," the man pleaded.
"Don, I look and sound terrible. I'm not going on camera like this, and I'm not going to infect half the building to sit at a desk and feel awful. I'm not coming in." Megamind saw Roxanne mouth the words 'hang up' and was giving an accompanying hand gesture. He closed the phone without saying anything else, and raised a questioning eyebrow at her.
"Well, besides you starting to call him 'Don' halfway through, it was passable. Now shoo, I think I'm gonna try to take a nap."
"Dan. Don. Same thing," he waved dismissively as he exited the room waving Minion with him. Once they were both in the hallway, Minion handed him some papers.
"Menus," he said. "I just printed them. That's what took me so long to get back."
"Perfect, Minion! Want to get one of everything? That should let us get a taste of the Orient!"
"Just remember your current shellfish allergy, Sir," Minion warned.
"That's right…" he had almost forgotten about that. "But we still need to get some shrimp for you! Oh, and Miss Ritchi informed me that some of these places deliver."
Minion's eyes widened. "They do?! We can use the Pizza Protocol!"
"Precisely!" Megamind agreed enthusiastically as he flipped open Roxanne's phone and called one of the restaurants. When a heavily accented voice answered, he switched to Mandarin to place their order. It wasn't often that he was able to use one of the many of the languages he knew, so he always jumped at the opportunity. When he finished, he gave Minion what felt like a manic smile and tossed him the cell phone. "I'm off! Prep the viewing station while I'm gone and have the brainbots reporter-proof the lair so Miss Ritchi can't poke around. And call Dr. Palmer while I'm out. Find out everything he knows about the past yogurt incidents."
"I'm on it, Sir! Good luck!" Minion gave a toothy grin before heading back into the bedroom.
To be continued...
Ch 1 - http://megamind-movie.livejournal.com/1920985.html
Ch 2 - http://megamind-movie.livejournal.com/1921733.html
Ch 3 - http://megamind-movie.livejournal.com/1921890.html
Ch 4 - http://megamind-movie.livejournal.com/1922168.html