TEAM WORK: acid test, "First Impressions"
Title: First Impressions
Author: verocious
Team: Work
Prompt: acid test
Pairing(s): McKay/Sheppard
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Summary: Talking. About feelings. In public. John longs for a rock-throwing planet.
Beta thanks: icouldskateaway is the best cheerleader and problem-solver in the universe. Thank you so much for making this fic happen. <3
Once you've read the story, please take a moment to vote in the poll below. Ratings go from 1 (low) to 9 (high), so all you need to do is enter a single number in that range into each text entry box. You'll be able to see the Prompt and Team (Genre) information in the header above.
More details about the voting procedure can be found here.
**
"I can't believe we're getting paid right now," Rodney says, sighing happily as he sinks lower into the hot spring.
"Yeah, best billable hours ever," Ronon adds. He's sitting on the edge of the small pool, just his feet dangling into the water.
Rodney cracks one eye open. "What?"
"I'm a contractor now," Ronon says.
"If you work for Halliburton, I'm throwing you off the team."
"That's my job," John says as he climbs into the hot tub. "Who are we throwing off the team?"
"Ronon is not employed by this - Halliburton," Teyla says to Rodney. "He started his own company." John tries not to think about how she says that in the exact same tone of voice as Torren walked all the way across the living room.
"Really?" Rodney says. "Did you know about this?"
John shrugs. "I wasn't paying attention. You know Lorne does all my paperwork."
Rodney sighs. "Whatever. This is nice, though, the best acid test we've had in a while."
"I do not see how the bathing ritual of the Buvik is related to a caustic substance," Teyla says, but by the look she gives Ronon, John can tell she's totally messing with Rodney. John mentally pats himself on the back for being so socially competent.
"Oh, come on," Rodney says. "I don't buy it. You know what that means. That thing the aliens always make us do to make sure we don't want to eat their brains or steal their wives?"
"I believe you are speaking of what Dr. Magaw calls the 'trust verification rituals.'"
Rodney rolls his eyes. "God, I hate the soft sciences. Yes. That. Only usually it's a lot more Fear Factor and a lot less spa day."
"There is a factor of fear?" Teyla asks, and this time she really is confused.
"It's an Earth sport where they make people eat grubs for money," Ronon says.
"That is . . . indeed terrifying," Teyla says.
Ronon smiles, or at least shows all his teeth. "Aliens, right?"
--
That's the last good one for a while, and the next week John is thinking longingly of the hot springs on MPX-992 while Rodney pukes in the bushes again. It turns out the Raol believe the only way to truly know someone is to drink with them. Normally, John would be all for that, but Rodney goes drink for drink with the crown princess for almost an hour before realizing that the natives can put it away like that because they have a tolerance.
Despite his own inebriation, John manages to pull Rodney down off the table where he's delivering a monologue about how great everyone is, just great, and this planet is great, and these drinks are great - fortunately, being overly affectionate while wasted is totally acceptable among the Raol. The amused council leader points John towards the guest cottage. Ronon and Teyla decide to stay at the party, already having figured out that the secret to drinking booze on unknown planets is to take tiny, tiny sips. That, and John's pretty sure that Ronon could drink ethanol and stay sober. Like everything Ronon does, it's terrifying, but impressive.
"How could you let me get this drunk?" Rodney asks, leaning against John as they stagger along the trail.
"Buddy, I am asking myself the same question," John grits out.
"You're my buddy," Rodney slurs, and paws at John's chest, which, given John's own state of inebriation, threatens to send them both toppling over.
"Yeah, well, you're a handsy drunk," John says, trying to walk in something approximating a straight line.
"I'm not drunk," Rodney protests, and then belches alarmingly. "I just like you."
John kicks open the door of the cottage and manages to pour Rodney onto one of the beds. "I like you too. Now please go to sleep."
John collapses onto his own bed, and falls asleep dreaming about running from a bunch of angry Raol, who are pissed off that Rodney threw up on their tava bush.
--
They're headed for MDY-773. Chuck dials, the wormhole engages, and--
When he comes to, at first John can only focus on noise: soft shuffling nearby, steady slow beeping, the sound of someone in heavy boots pacing further off. Then he manages to peel his eyes open, blinking at the light.
Ronon has his feet up on the end of the bed, sitting in a chair leaned on its back two legs. "Hey," John croaks.
Ronon looks at him for a second and drops the chair back onto four legs. "Hey."
John opens his mouth to ask how long he’s been out, and Rodney throws the curtain open and stomps in. "Thanks a lot for finally coming around," Rodney snaps.
Rodney's wearing a clean shirt, so John figures he's been unconscious long enough for Teyla to drag Rodney away and make him shower and change. Probably a day, maybe two. That's not good, but if he were really dying, Rodney might be nice. So he's probably okay.
"I live to serve," John says, trying to sit up and realizing that's a bad, bad plan when his head starts to throb. "Ow. What happened?"
"You got hit with a rock," Ronon says. He looks - kind of amused. Like he's trying not to laugh. No, he's definitely trying not to laugh.
"Was I being heroic?" John asks hopefully.
"Do you not remember? Oh my god, do you have amnesia?" Rodney gasps. "Do you know where you are? Do you know who I am?"
"All right, everyone out," Keller says, glaring at Rodney until he huffs and leaves. Ronon shrugs at John and follows Rodney. Keller turns her big, shiny smile on John. "How are you feeling?"
"Not awful," John hedges. "Can I go now?"
"You had a nasty knock on the head!" she says, totally ignoring him. She shines her little light in his eyes. "What's the last thing you remember?"
"We were about to gate to - um, the one with the sunflowers," John says. "That's it. Ronon said I got hit with a rock?"
"Yep. Apparently the locals were suspicious of your hair."
"My - hair." John hopes that sentence makes sense, somehow. Otherwise the head injury was probably worse than they thought.
Keller shrugs. "It's all in the report. One of the kids threw a rock at it to see if it was alive."
"I hate my job," John says. "Please can I go now?"
Rodney is still pacing in the waiting area when Keller finally stops poking John's head and lets him put some pants on and leave. "Hey, Rodney," John says. Rodney looks awful, clean shirt or no, like he's been awake the whole time John's been asleep. Maybe he has, John thinks. "Keller says I should eat something. Want to come with?"
Keller didn't tell him to get food. But Rodney looks hungry.
--
Even Teyla starts calling the planet Hoth after the third day, when the blizzard still shows no signs of letting up. They're stuck in the cabin halfway between the village and the gate, which the Katangans put in after enough travelers froze to death on the road for the planet to get a bad reputation as a trading partner. They only want to trade with people hearty enough to make the trip, according to Ronon, who dealt with some of them as a Runner. Apparently people hearty enough to survive week-long ice storms were in short supply, though, so some concessions had been made.
John's considering picking up the dishes from dinner and taking them outside to rub them with snow, but it's so cold out there, and his toes have finally thawed. He'll do it in the morning. He slouches lower in his chair, and looks at Rodney, sitting across from him at the table.
"I never want to eat rutanga again," Rodney says, staring into his empty bowl. John agrees, which is sort of disappointing. He used to really like it, before they got trapped in a tiny shack stocked only with dried chunks of the potato-like vegetable. They've been softening them in hot water twice a day and calling it soup, which is maybe too generous a name for it, in John's opinion.
Ronon is playing solitaire on the rug in front of the fire, and Teyla is already curled up on one side of the huge bed. John looks at the bed covetously. His shoulders hurt from chopping firewood all afternoon and he's not excited about crashing on the floor.
Rodney seems to know what he's thinking. "You can sleep in the bed tonight, if you want," he says. "All of us would fit if we squished."
"No - I should - it wouldn't be fair," John protests, but it sounds weak. "Three in the bed, we agreed. It’s Ronon’s turn."
"Don't want to sleep in the bed," Ronon says, flipping cards over. "Teyla kicks."
"I do no such thing," Teyla mumbles. "Please desist from making noise."
"She's the boss," Rodney says, stacking the bowls. "Come on. If your back hurts tomorrow, then I might have to split logs, and that is just such a waste of my brilliant mind, I can't even begin to tell you."
Rodney gets in bed and John wanders around the cabin, fiddling with his backpack after he changes into a clean t-shirt and watching Ronon set up his nest of sleeping bags. Finally, John turns down the lamp and climbs in behind Rodney, rolling over so they're back to back. He falls asleep almost instantly, so fast that he's startled to wake up and realize it's morning. There's sunshine pouring in the windows - the storm finally passed.
He rolled over in the night, and nestled up behind Rodney, fitting their knees together, twisting his hand in Rodney's t-shirt, right over his heart. He can see the back of Rodney's neck, the curve of his shoulder, and he's got this - this feeling. One he hasn't had in a while, or else he's had it all along.
Teyla is awake, and she leans up on her elbow and looks down at him. Like always, John feels transparent in front of her, like she doesn't look at him but into him. She smiles, and then throws back the covers and hops out of bed.
"Wassat?" Rodney mumbles, stretching a little and starting to wake up.
John untangles himself and scrambles upright, shoves his feet into his boots, and walks outside into the cold, clear day, taking deep breaths until he can think again.
--
John can't get it out of his mind, after that. He wakes up in his tiny, empty bed with the wind coming off the water, dreaming of snow and the way Rodney smelled. Something has opened up inside his chest, a space that was maybe always empty, but now he knows what it is, and he feels it there constantly.
They have a bad month, on the job and off - Rodney almost blows up a reactor trying to bring a decrepit ancient outpost online. Ronon gets shot in the leg with an energy weapon when they accidentally walk into a civil war. Teyla and Kanaan are fighting about how much time Torren should spend in Atlantis.
And Rodney starts dating Jennifer Keller, and John runs out of golf balls to hit into the ocean.
--
"Ready to get back on the horse?" John says, lining up with the rest of his team in front of the gate. It's the first mission since Atlantis came back to Pegasus - since we came home, John thinks, but never says out loud. John’s been itching for a job to do, tired of twiddling his thumbs and organizing his office. He wants actual work. He wants to go through the gate, and after a solid week of pestering Woolsey, he’s gotten a mission.
"Earth sayings make no sense," Ronon grumbles. John decides to act like he didn't hear that over the sound of the wormhole engaging.
He looks down the row, at Teyla standing calmly with her hands resting on her P-90, Ronon looking a little jumpy the way he always does right before a mission, and stops at the tired slump of Rodney's shoulders. Rodney's been dragging around since things didn't work out with Keller. She was lobbying hard to split Atlantis' time between Earth and Pegasus. John had argued strongly for let's get the hell out of here and never come back. When Rodney came down on John's side, something went wrong between him and Keller, although John's still not sure what. John does feel bad about the mean gleam of triumph inside him. He likes Keller. Really. He's just glad Rodney still likes him more than Keller.
They walk forward, moving as one, and John feels good, feels like this is how things are supposed to be. No glitches send them hurtling through time or land them on the wrong planet, and they walk out into the dawn of P3Y-889. Teyla does the we-come-in-peace song and dance for the welcome party. John feels pretty good about this one - it's a standard we have penicillin, you have root vegetables deal, and the Nusan are known as fair traders and good hosts. Even if they do have mullets.
"Hey, Rodney," he says, as Teyla walks ahead with the Nusan delegates and Ronon takes their six. "Did you ever have a mullet?"
Rodney hardly looks up from the little tablet he's got in his hand. "Hm? No. I managed to survive the 80's without any tragic hairstyles. Now stop distracting me. There might actually be something interesting here."
John tries not to mope about being shut down - he actually did have a mullet in the 80's and he was totally willing to humiliate himself for Rodney's amusement. He would tell a funny story, Rodney would mock him, they would laugh, it would be great. Back to normal.
Of course, since this is Pegasus, as soon as they're brought before the town council, the village elder says, "Now, to prove that you are genuine and honest, and worthy to trade with Nusan, we require the fulfillment of a test."
"Sure," John says. "Dancing competition? Drinking games? As long as no one's throwing rocks, we're cool." The village elder looks baffled. Teyla stomps on his foot. No one is any fun today, he thinks. "Yeah, we would be happy to fulfill your test," John says.
"Before we can trust you, you must demonstrate your trust in each other," the village elder starts, and he keeps going on about comradeship and forthrightness and the spirit of openness. John is thinking this is going to be either trust falls or holding hands and singing. Maybe some mullet-braiding. "Which is why," the guy says, and he seems to be winding up for something dramatic, so John tries to look attentive, "you must tell us each others' secrets, the things you have trusted each other to know."
"What, right now?" Rodney says, incredulous. "Doesn't that defeat the point of secrets?"
"You must comply," says the deputy-head mullet guy. "Or depart at once."
Talking. About feelings. In public. John longs for a rock-throwing planet. He clears his throat nervously and glances at Teyla, who gives him a half-fond, half-exasperated look and steps forward. "Colonel Sheppard reads all the paperwork he signs," she says calmly. "Dr. McKay took a graduate-level English course in college and liked it, and Ronon was married on Sateda."
She steps back and looks at Ronon, who crosses his arms and thinks for a second. "Sheppard got divorced. McKay likes the prequel trilogy. Oh, and Teyla let me win at stick fighting one time because I was having a bad day," Ronon says.
John takes a deep breath. "Rodney's not really hypoglycemic, Teyla hates it when I make her talk about feelings, and Ronon slept with all the gate techs." Not so bad, actually.
"Teyla talks to my sister more often than I do, Ronon likes Superman better than Batman, and Sheppard -" Rodney turns, and looks at him. "Sheppard -" He squints, like he could somehow see John better. "I don't know anything about you that's a secret. Why is that?"
"So there is a break in your trust!" the number-two mullet cries, and he sounds a little too triumphant. "We have revealed the deceit within!"
"Is there not some other way we could prove ourselves?" Teyla says. Rodney is still looking at him. John shifts a little, uncomfortable under the scrutiny.
The village elder considers them for a moment. "The offenders must go into seclusion for a day and a night, and learn of each other. When they emerge, they must tell us what they have discovered. If they have not learned to be forthright and trust each other, they will not be honest and faithful in their dealings with us, and will be banned forever."
Teyla looks at him pointedly, and John clears his throat. "Sounds good. Just point us in the direction of, uh, seclusion."
Most of the Nusan's buildings are underground, a complex network of tunnels and caverns with rough walls of hard-packed dirt. The deputy mullet leads them through the maze, turning seemingly at random until they reach a door. He opens it with a flourish and waves them inside. "See you tomorrow," he says, and slams it shut behind them.
John hears the distinct sound of a bolt falling into place on the other side.
"Nice going," he says, turning to Rodney. "You couldn’t have made something up?"
Rodney throws his pack angrily onto the bed. "Oh, right, let’s lie to the aliens during our honesty test. That’s great, Colonel."
"Why are you pissed off at me?" John asks. "This is your fault!"
"We spend all our time together!" Rodney yells. "How come I don’t know anything about you?"
"Because there’s only one thing for you to know," John says, feeling very tired. "There’s only one thing, Rodney, okay."
Rodney looks at him expectantly.
John drops his backpack and walks towards Rodney, slowly, his heart kicking like a drum. He puts his hand on Rodney's shoulder, slides it around to the back of his neck. Rodney stumbles forward a little, and his eyes shut halfway, and John just goes for it.
Rodney's mouth is warm, and soft, and Rodney's got his hands braced on John's hips. John's got one hand in Rodney's hair and the other curled around Rodney's bicep, and if he stops kissing Rodney, he's pretty sure he'll die.
"This isn't funny," Rodney says, pulling away, breathing hard and flushed.
"Good, because I'm not kidding," John says, unable to stop looking at the shine on Rodney's lower lip. He slides his hand under Rodney's tac vest and hauls him back in.
"So your secret thing is that you - you -" Rodney starts, and John pushes him down onto the bed.
"Please don't make me talk about my feelings," John says, and applies himself to taking off Rodney's thigh holster, and then his own, before crawling onto the bed.
"The Nusan are going to have questions," Rodney warns, as John pulls his shirt off.
John glares. "Can we stop talking about work?" He gets his hand in Rodney's pants and his mouth on Rodney's neck, and Rodney goes suddenly, gratifyingly silent.
--
"He's totally in love with me," Rodney says, when they stand in front of the council the next day. "That's the secret." The mullet council looks pleased.
"You owe me twenty Snickers," Ronon whispers to Teyla.
"Nice acid test, by the way," Rodney continues. "Now, I'm picking up some energy readings to the southwest, so if you wouldn't mind-"
"We also should open our trade negotiations immediately," Teyla says.
John smiles. Back to work.
**
Poll
Author: verocious
Team: Work
Prompt: acid test
Pairing(s): McKay/Sheppard
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Summary: Talking. About feelings. In public. John longs for a rock-throwing planet.
Beta thanks: icouldskateaway is the best cheerleader and problem-solver in the universe. Thank you so much for making this fic happen. <3
Once you've read the story, please take a moment to vote in the poll below. Ratings go from 1 (low) to 9 (high), so all you need to do is enter a single number in that range into each text entry box. You'll be able to see the Prompt and Team (Genre) information in the header above.
More details about the voting procedure can be found here.
**
"I can't believe we're getting paid right now," Rodney says, sighing happily as he sinks lower into the hot spring.
"Yeah, best billable hours ever," Ronon adds. He's sitting on the edge of the small pool, just his feet dangling into the water.
Rodney cracks one eye open. "What?"
"I'm a contractor now," Ronon says.
"If you work for Halliburton, I'm throwing you off the team."
"That's my job," John says as he climbs into the hot tub. "Who are we throwing off the team?"
"Ronon is not employed by this - Halliburton," Teyla says to Rodney. "He started his own company." John tries not to think about how she says that in the exact same tone of voice as Torren walked all the way across the living room.
"Really?" Rodney says. "Did you know about this?"
John shrugs. "I wasn't paying attention. You know Lorne does all my paperwork."
Rodney sighs. "Whatever. This is nice, though, the best acid test we've had in a while."
"I do not see how the bathing ritual of the Buvik is related to a caustic substance," Teyla says, but by the look she gives Ronon, John can tell she's totally messing with Rodney. John mentally pats himself on the back for being so socially competent.
"Oh, come on," Rodney says. "I don't buy it. You know what that means. That thing the aliens always make us do to make sure we don't want to eat their brains or steal their wives?"
"I believe you are speaking of what Dr. Magaw calls the 'trust verification rituals.'"
Rodney rolls his eyes. "God, I hate the soft sciences. Yes. That. Only usually it's a lot more Fear Factor and a lot less spa day."
"There is a factor of fear?" Teyla asks, and this time she really is confused.
"It's an Earth sport where they make people eat grubs for money," Ronon says.
"That is . . . indeed terrifying," Teyla says.
Ronon smiles, or at least shows all his teeth. "Aliens, right?"
--
That's the last good one for a while, and the next week John is thinking longingly of the hot springs on MPX-992 while Rodney pukes in the bushes again. It turns out the Raol believe the only way to truly know someone is to drink with them. Normally, John would be all for that, but Rodney goes drink for drink with the crown princess for almost an hour before realizing that the natives can put it away like that because they have a tolerance.
Despite his own inebriation, John manages to pull Rodney down off the table where he's delivering a monologue about how great everyone is, just great, and this planet is great, and these drinks are great - fortunately, being overly affectionate while wasted is totally acceptable among the Raol. The amused council leader points John towards the guest cottage. Ronon and Teyla decide to stay at the party, already having figured out that the secret to drinking booze on unknown planets is to take tiny, tiny sips. That, and John's pretty sure that Ronon could drink ethanol and stay sober. Like everything Ronon does, it's terrifying, but impressive.
"How could you let me get this drunk?" Rodney asks, leaning against John as they stagger along the trail.
"Buddy, I am asking myself the same question," John grits out.
"You're my buddy," Rodney slurs, and paws at John's chest, which, given John's own state of inebriation, threatens to send them both toppling over.
"Yeah, well, you're a handsy drunk," John says, trying to walk in something approximating a straight line.
"I'm not drunk," Rodney protests, and then belches alarmingly. "I just like you."
John kicks open the door of the cottage and manages to pour Rodney onto one of the beds. "I like you too. Now please go to sleep."
John collapses onto his own bed, and falls asleep dreaming about running from a bunch of angry Raol, who are pissed off that Rodney threw up on their tava bush.
--
They're headed for MDY-773. Chuck dials, the wormhole engages, and--
When he comes to, at first John can only focus on noise: soft shuffling nearby, steady slow beeping, the sound of someone in heavy boots pacing further off. Then he manages to peel his eyes open, blinking at the light.
Ronon has his feet up on the end of the bed, sitting in a chair leaned on its back two legs. "Hey," John croaks.
Ronon looks at him for a second and drops the chair back onto four legs. "Hey."
John opens his mouth to ask how long he’s been out, and Rodney throws the curtain open and stomps in. "Thanks a lot for finally coming around," Rodney snaps.
Rodney's wearing a clean shirt, so John figures he's been unconscious long enough for Teyla to drag Rodney away and make him shower and change. Probably a day, maybe two. That's not good, but if he were really dying, Rodney might be nice. So he's probably okay.
"I live to serve," John says, trying to sit up and realizing that's a bad, bad plan when his head starts to throb. "Ow. What happened?"
"You got hit with a rock," Ronon says. He looks - kind of amused. Like he's trying not to laugh. No, he's definitely trying not to laugh.
"Was I being heroic?" John asks hopefully.
"Do you not remember? Oh my god, do you have amnesia?" Rodney gasps. "Do you know where you are? Do you know who I am?"
"All right, everyone out," Keller says, glaring at Rodney until he huffs and leaves. Ronon shrugs at John and follows Rodney. Keller turns her big, shiny smile on John. "How are you feeling?"
"Not awful," John hedges. "Can I go now?"
"You had a nasty knock on the head!" she says, totally ignoring him. She shines her little light in his eyes. "What's the last thing you remember?"
"We were about to gate to - um, the one with the sunflowers," John says. "That's it. Ronon said I got hit with a rock?"
"Yep. Apparently the locals were suspicious of your hair."
"My - hair." John hopes that sentence makes sense, somehow. Otherwise the head injury was probably worse than they thought.
Keller shrugs. "It's all in the report. One of the kids threw a rock at it to see if it was alive."
"I hate my job," John says. "Please can I go now?"
Rodney is still pacing in the waiting area when Keller finally stops poking John's head and lets him put some pants on and leave. "Hey, Rodney," John says. Rodney looks awful, clean shirt or no, like he's been awake the whole time John's been asleep. Maybe he has, John thinks. "Keller says I should eat something. Want to come with?"
Keller didn't tell him to get food. But Rodney looks hungry.
--
Even Teyla starts calling the planet Hoth after the third day, when the blizzard still shows no signs of letting up. They're stuck in the cabin halfway between the village and the gate, which the Katangans put in after enough travelers froze to death on the road for the planet to get a bad reputation as a trading partner. They only want to trade with people hearty enough to make the trip, according to Ronon, who dealt with some of them as a Runner. Apparently people hearty enough to survive week-long ice storms were in short supply, though, so some concessions had been made.
John's considering picking up the dishes from dinner and taking them outside to rub them with snow, but it's so cold out there, and his toes have finally thawed. He'll do it in the morning. He slouches lower in his chair, and looks at Rodney, sitting across from him at the table.
"I never want to eat rutanga again," Rodney says, staring into his empty bowl. John agrees, which is sort of disappointing. He used to really like it, before they got trapped in a tiny shack stocked only with dried chunks of the potato-like vegetable. They've been softening them in hot water twice a day and calling it soup, which is maybe too generous a name for it, in John's opinion.
Ronon is playing solitaire on the rug in front of the fire, and Teyla is already curled up on one side of the huge bed. John looks at the bed covetously. His shoulders hurt from chopping firewood all afternoon and he's not excited about crashing on the floor.
Rodney seems to know what he's thinking. "You can sleep in the bed tonight, if you want," he says. "All of us would fit if we squished."
"No - I should - it wouldn't be fair," John protests, but it sounds weak. "Three in the bed, we agreed. It’s Ronon’s turn."
"Don't want to sleep in the bed," Ronon says, flipping cards over. "Teyla kicks."
"I do no such thing," Teyla mumbles. "Please desist from making noise."
"She's the boss," Rodney says, stacking the bowls. "Come on. If your back hurts tomorrow, then I might have to split logs, and that is just such a waste of my brilliant mind, I can't even begin to tell you."
Rodney gets in bed and John wanders around the cabin, fiddling with his backpack after he changes into a clean t-shirt and watching Ronon set up his nest of sleeping bags. Finally, John turns down the lamp and climbs in behind Rodney, rolling over so they're back to back. He falls asleep almost instantly, so fast that he's startled to wake up and realize it's morning. There's sunshine pouring in the windows - the storm finally passed.
He rolled over in the night, and nestled up behind Rodney, fitting their knees together, twisting his hand in Rodney's t-shirt, right over his heart. He can see the back of Rodney's neck, the curve of his shoulder, and he's got this - this feeling. One he hasn't had in a while, or else he's had it all along.
Teyla is awake, and she leans up on her elbow and looks down at him. Like always, John feels transparent in front of her, like she doesn't look at him but into him. She smiles, and then throws back the covers and hops out of bed.
"Wassat?" Rodney mumbles, stretching a little and starting to wake up.
John untangles himself and scrambles upright, shoves his feet into his boots, and walks outside into the cold, clear day, taking deep breaths until he can think again.
--
John can't get it out of his mind, after that. He wakes up in his tiny, empty bed with the wind coming off the water, dreaming of snow and the way Rodney smelled. Something has opened up inside his chest, a space that was maybe always empty, but now he knows what it is, and he feels it there constantly.
They have a bad month, on the job and off - Rodney almost blows up a reactor trying to bring a decrepit ancient outpost online. Ronon gets shot in the leg with an energy weapon when they accidentally walk into a civil war. Teyla and Kanaan are fighting about how much time Torren should spend in Atlantis.
And Rodney starts dating Jennifer Keller, and John runs out of golf balls to hit into the ocean.
--
"Ready to get back on the horse?" John says, lining up with the rest of his team in front of the gate. It's the first mission since Atlantis came back to Pegasus - since we came home, John thinks, but never says out loud. John’s been itching for a job to do, tired of twiddling his thumbs and organizing his office. He wants actual work. He wants to go through the gate, and after a solid week of pestering Woolsey, he’s gotten a mission.
"Earth sayings make no sense," Ronon grumbles. John decides to act like he didn't hear that over the sound of the wormhole engaging.
He looks down the row, at Teyla standing calmly with her hands resting on her P-90, Ronon looking a little jumpy the way he always does right before a mission, and stops at the tired slump of Rodney's shoulders. Rodney's been dragging around since things didn't work out with Keller. She was lobbying hard to split Atlantis' time between Earth and Pegasus. John had argued strongly for let's get the hell out of here and never come back. When Rodney came down on John's side, something went wrong between him and Keller, although John's still not sure what. John does feel bad about the mean gleam of triumph inside him. He likes Keller. Really. He's just glad Rodney still likes him more than Keller.
They walk forward, moving as one, and John feels good, feels like this is how things are supposed to be. No glitches send them hurtling through time or land them on the wrong planet, and they walk out into the dawn of P3Y-889. Teyla does the we-come-in-peace song and dance for the welcome party. John feels pretty good about this one - it's a standard we have penicillin, you have root vegetables deal, and the Nusan are known as fair traders and good hosts. Even if they do have mullets.
"Hey, Rodney," he says, as Teyla walks ahead with the Nusan delegates and Ronon takes their six. "Did you ever have a mullet?"
Rodney hardly looks up from the little tablet he's got in his hand. "Hm? No. I managed to survive the 80's without any tragic hairstyles. Now stop distracting me. There might actually be something interesting here."
John tries not to mope about being shut down - he actually did have a mullet in the 80's and he was totally willing to humiliate himself for Rodney's amusement. He would tell a funny story, Rodney would mock him, they would laugh, it would be great. Back to normal.
Of course, since this is Pegasus, as soon as they're brought before the town council, the village elder says, "Now, to prove that you are genuine and honest, and worthy to trade with Nusan, we require the fulfillment of a test."
"Sure," John says. "Dancing competition? Drinking games? As long as no one's throwing rocks, we're cool." The village elder looks baffled. Teyla stomps on his foot. No one is any fun today, he thinks. "Yeah, we would be happy to fulfill your test," John says.
"Before we can trust you, you must demonstrate your trust in each other," the village elder starts, and he keeps going on about comradeship and forthrightness and the spirit of openness. John is thinking this is going to be either trust falls or holding hands and singing. Maybe some mullet-braiding. "Which is why," the guy says, and he seems to be winding up for something dramatic, so John tries to look attentive, "you must tell us each others' secrets, the things you have trusted each other to know."
"What, right now?" Rodney says, incredulous. "Doesn't that defeat the point of secrets?"
"You must comply," says the deputy-head mullet guy. "Or depart at once."
Talking. About feelings. In public. John longs for a rock-throwing planet. He clears his throat nervously and glances at Teyla, who gives him a half-fond, half-exasperated look and steps forward. "Colonel Sheppard reads all the paperwork he signs," she says calmly. "Dr. McKay took a graduate-level English course in college and liked it, and Ronon was married on Sateda."
She steps back and looks at Ronon, who crosses his arms and thinks for a second. "Sheppard got divorced. McKay likes the prequel trilogy. Oh, and Teyla let me win at stick fighting one time because I was having a bad day," Ronon says.
John takes a deep breath. "Rodney's not really hypoglycemic, Teyla hates it when I make her talk about feelings, and Ronon slept with all the gate techs." Not so bad, actually.
"Teyla talks to my sister more often than I do, Ronon likes Superman better than Batman, and Sheppard -" Rodney turns, and looks at him. "Sheppard -" He squints, like he could somehow see John better. "I don't know anything about you that's a secret. Why is that?"
"So there is a break in your trust!" the number-two mullet cries, and he sounds a little too triumphant. "We have revealed the deceit within!"
"Is there not some other way we could prove ourselves?" Teyla says. Rodney is still looking at him. John shifts a little, uncomfortable under the scrutiny.
The village elder considers them for a moment. "The offenders must go into seclusion for a day and a night, and learn of each other. When they emerge, they must tell us what they have discovered. If they have not learned to be forthright and trust each other, they will not be honest and faithful in their dealings with us, and will be banned forever."
Teyla looks at him pointedly, and John clears his throat. "Sounds good. Just point us in the direction of, uh, seclusion."
Most of the Nusan's buildings are underground, a complex network of tunnels and caverns with rough walls of hard-packed dirt. The deputy mullet leads them through the maze, turning seemingly at random until they reach a door. He opens it with a flourish and waves them inside. "See you tomorrow," he says, and slams it shut behind them.
John hears the distinct sound of a bolt falling into place on the other side.
"Nice going," he says, turning to Rodney. "You couldn’t have made something up?"
Rodney throws his pack angrily onto the bed. "Oh, right, let’s lie to the aliens during our honesty test. That’s great, Colonel."
"Why are you pissed off at me?" John asks. "This is your fault!"
"We spend all our time together!" Rodney yells. "How come I don’t know anything about you?"
"Because there’s only one thing for you to know," John says, feeling very tired. "There’s only one thing, Rodney, okay."
Rodney looks at him expectantly.
John drops his backpack and walks towards Rodney, slowly, his heart kicking like a drum. He puts his hand on Rodney's shoulder, slides it around to the back of his neck. Rodney stumbles forward a little, and his eyes shut halfway, and John just goes for it.
Rodney's mouth is warm, and soft, and Rodney's got his hands braced on John's hips. John's got one hand in Rodney's hair and the other curled around Rodney's bicep, and if he stops kissing Rodney, he's pretty sure he'll die.
"This isn't funny," Rodney says, pulling away, breathing hard and flushed.
"Good, because I'm not kidding," John says, unable to stop looking at the shine on Rodney's lower lip. He slides his hand under Rodney's tac vest and hauls him back in.
"So your secret thing is that you - you -" Rodney starts, and John pushes him down onto the bed.
"Please don't make me talk about my feelings," John says, and applies himself to taking off Rodney's thigh holster, and then his own, before crawling onto the bed.
"The Nusan are going to have questions," Rodney warns, as John pulls his shirt off.
John glares. "Can we stop talking about work?" He gets his hand in Rodney's pants and his mouth on Rodney's neck, and Rodney goes suddenly, gratifyingly silent.
--
"He's totally in love with me," Rodney says, when they stand in front of the council the next day. "That's the secret." The mullet council looks pleased.
"You owe me twenty Snickers," Ronon whispers to Teyla.
"Nice acid test, by the way," Rodney continues. "Now, I'm picking up some energy readings to the southwest, so if you wouldn't mind-"
"We also should open our trade negotiations immediately," Teyla says.
John smiles. Back to work.
**
Poll