experiments seem so much more fun when i don't have to run them. this basically occurs to me on a daily basis. but even more so today as my student struggled from 9 am until 10:30 this evening to get an instrument running... i am 1) glad it's working and 2) really, really glad that i didn't have to make it work!

yes, i got the “back off bitch” smoke signal.

i have the most fucked up dreams. getting stabbed, having terrible fights, dying, lying, sweating, crying. watching murders, being in an airplane crash, suffering over and over from a broken heart. every night my mind goes wild the second my body becomes calm.

i wake up drowning in sweat. distressed and disturbed.

every day.

awesome, maybe now i can sleep for a night or two.

on a plane in less than 8 hours. will spend the weekend with friends. escape is always good.

"I have checked out your web page a couple of times and it looks like things are going well.  I always figured the professor thing would work out for you.  Your enthusiasm for the position and your science was contagious, you almost convinced me to follow suit."

me: so why did you become a professor?

other: good question.  for the chicks?  nah.  for the money?  nah.

me: hmm, i wasn't aware anyone became a professor for chicks. am i missing out on a crowd of professor-hungry dudes just waiting to jump my bones as i quiz them on reaction mechanisms and ionization methods?

drove north to see my mom today. met her in a remote town, part way between her house an mine. i spent four hours in the car, only to realize that the same thought had been going through my mind for the entire time.

Think I’m goin' home
I think I’m gettin lost for a while
Tired of getting stoned
And thinkin' ‘bout you in the night

So I’ll file away all my dreams
Though I still believe in everything

I wished your love away
I wished your love away

Honestly over you
Honestly over you
One lie short of true
Honestly over you

Lookin' for some hope
Polished off ( Read more... )

i wish other people stayed up as late as me. i get all weird and dramatic at night. i can feel that i'm alone. it's more pressing then it is when i know there is someone i could call if i wanted to ( Read more... )