On Fandom Reactions

[maychorian]

My Big Bang icon has never been so appropriate.

I know a lot of people are tired of hearing about this. But I haven't stopped thinking about it. And so I'm going to say even more about fandom and how we talk about things like the latest unfunny business. If you're not interested, please do scroll on by

Comments

[keire_ke]

I have to say that I do feel there is a slight distinction to the situation. What happened then had been the result of people getting hurt in an off-line situation (yes, I know that emotional pain isn't exactly quantifiable, but I think we can agree that witnessing and being upset by something while separated from that something by a computer screen is preferable to witnessing it in RL). The recent race!fail is no less pressing and no less real, but it's all firmly locked up in virtual space, there were no RL ramifications. Yes, it was worse than having something triggering appear on the news, or in the papers, yes, it hurt many people in a place that should have been safe, but we have to be realistic: the internet is not a safe place. It's an open forum that anyone with a computer to contribute to, regardless of how sensitive or smart they are. There is always the chance that something someone says will hurt you, or trigger you. I thought (from what I read) that it was handled sensibly - the fic was removed, apologies were uttered,

[maychorian]

It's true that the internet is not a safe place. People keep expecting it to be and it's not, not even in fandom. And that really is too bad. I think we should all work to keep making it safer as much as we can, though.

In the case of thenyxie, the off-line bad stuff was compounded by the things she said online, which might perhaps be worse, in some ways, than writing 80k words of racist trope-fic. I do see the differences between the two situations, but I still think they're comparable.

I'm simply saying that - as is the case with dealing with children - the moment you raise your voice you have lost at least a portion of a battle.I'm going to have to point out that this the tone argument yet again, sorry. :) It's just...sometimes it's not about communicating, you know? Sometimes it's not about a "battle." Sometimes it's just about expressing yourself, about letting yourself feel your anger and pain. Sometimes people need to just go outside and scream at the sky, or go online and yell "FUCK!" in their private journals. I understand

[keire_ke]

Oh yeah, I absolutely agree that venting is necessary. Venting prevents explosion at a later date. :) I also agree with everything you said: I do want fandom to be my safe-space (one of the reasons why I cringe at the SPN fandom episodes - too close to RL), I do think the two wank situations were comparable , and I definitely support everyone's right to yell and scream and be totally 100% honest in their journals, down to expressing the emotional state. :> I'm just saying, discussion in a somewhat-public forum usually works better for all involved parties when tone is civil.

[maychorian]

Yeah. And most people are being VERY civil in the more meta-y posts on this, especially now, days after the story was first posted. amazonziti amazes me, for instance, with the way she's been handling the comments on her first round-up thread. The same objections keep getting made over and over and over again, and she keeps responding so patiently and calmly... It's incredible, really. I would be having such a hard time not just snapping at those people to read what's already been written, ffs--their questions and arguments have been answered ten times over.

[smilla02]

I want us all to have the privilege of "feeling safe." And like poisontaster said, if some us aren't feeling safe, then none of us should.

So yeah, no, I don't feel quite as "safe" as I might like. But it's okay. I'll deal.

I really, really like what you say here. Yes, we may not feel quite as 'safe' in our privilege, but running away is far from the right answer. Being challenged is not always easy to deal with, and sometimes it is painful, but, like you say, we can deal.

[maychorian]

♥ Thanks, dear.

[mello_mcqueen]

*kicks herself* You have no idea how relative this is (for me) right now, May-chan. Thank you for posting it. Truth be told, I've done nothing for days on end but think of what happened and what is happening and I'm more than a little sick over it, but I'm also sick of it in ways and yesterday I decided I wasn't going to care anymore and I would just get over it and go back to enjoying fandom, because that is what fandom is for.

It’s supposed to be the one thing in my life that I can count on to make me happy (even when it makes me sad) when everything else in my life is going wrong. There shouldn’t be this weight attached to it that makes people feel like they’re suffocating and being dragged down into the dirt, for any reason no matter what it is

[maychorian]

You are welcome to ramble on my journal anytime. ♥

Yes, I understand everything you're saying. I'm sorry this is hurting you too. But then, maybe it's good to be aware of these things, you know? It has definitely sucked away a lot of my pleasure in fandom right now. I have almost no desire to read or write or anything, just keep checking back at amazonziti's round-up posts and reading more. I guess I want to keep trying to understand, to keep this from happening in the future to the best of my ability. To make sure that I never do anything similar myself.

I'm hopeful that my joy in my fandom will return soon. There are still lots and lots of good things about it. Hopefully yours will, too.

[maychorian]

♥

[dotfic]

Really good points, thanks for talking about this.

[maychorian]

♥