Naught is Perfect, an Extranet Advice Column
anonymous
May 11 2013, 02:21:23 UTC
Relationship problems? Lovesick? Have an unrequited love or marital issues?
Write in to our fabulous column and have the wonderful Ms. Perfect and Ms. Naught respond with only the most helpful and insightful advice, provided by their own experience!
Posting is open to all Fornax and Kink Meme members and their affiliated sites.
I'm Invisible!
anonymous
May 11 2013, 02:23:02 UTC
Dear Ms. Naught,
There’s a delicious specimen of a man at my place of work. He’s the whole package: tall, dark, and handsome. He’s even fit, too! The trouble is, I don’t think he sees me most of the time, and I’m afraid of introducing him to some of my kinkier fantasies.
Re: I'm Invisible!
anonymous
May 11 2013, 02:23:47 UTC
LoveYou-
Tie him to a chair and fuck his brains out. Hard to miss that.
-N
P.S. - Perfect says that isn’t good enough, so… I don’t know, find his porn stash and dress up as a maid or whatever the fuck he likes. He’s probably kinkier than you.
I love Everyone?
anonymous
May 11 2013, 02:24:19 UTC
Dear Ms. Perfect,
My work involves deep personal connections to a large number of people, sometimes not of my own species, and sometimes, I have a hard time separating my own personal feelings from work, and end up falling for people I work with. How can I avoid dating problems in the workplace? Help!
Re: I love Everyone?
anonymous
May 11 2013, 02:27:07 UTC
Dear Empathetic,
Try saying things like you already have someone, and be sure to set boundaries. When you are at work, you must remember that you are a professional, and professionals do not have dirty, dirty sex on their desks. If that fails, try thinking of your fellow employees as inferior to yourself. It’s a big turn-off.
I’ve worked with an amazing man for a number of years, and although we were estranged for a number of months due to mutual differences, we’ve developed a working relationship with each other. Now I think I’m developing feelings for him, and I’m not sure how he’ll react, or even if he likes men. What should I do?
Fuck, I don’t know. Doesn’t sound like you hate each other, so I have no clue. Try taking him on a date and telling him how you feel or some bullshit. If he says no, then at least you won’t puss out and regret it later.
I’m friends with this quarian, for whom I hold a serious attraction. She, however, just got out of a bad relationship and is turned off from dating. I’ve dropped numerous hints, but she either glosses over them or misinterprets them! How can I get her to notice my feelings?!
Re: Is She Blind?
anonymous
May 11 2013, 02:29:58 UTC
Dear Turian,
If your friend just got out of a bad relationship, it’s probably best to give them some space to allow them to recover. Additionally, if your quarian is on Pilgrimage, they may be hesitant about starting new relationships while getting ready to head back to the Fleet. If you’re serious about her though, wait for her to move on from her previous relationship and step up both your hints and consider directly asking her.
Sincerely, ChatikaVasPaus
P.S. - (I vote you flood her olfactory sensors with aphrodisiacs and hijack her suit’s nerve stim program, but that’s just me. -N)
I Want a Penis!
anonymous
May 11 2013, 02:37:42 UTC
Dear Ms. Perfect and Ms. Naught,
I've been obsessed with male genitalia all my life, but I can't settle for playing with the ones my sexual partners have anymore. I need my own! What's the best way to get myself good and hung?
Re: I Want a Penis!
anonymous
May 11 2013, 03:10:52 UTC
Crotch-
I know a guy on Omega. Or you can spring for gene mods. If you can't afford that, examine as many Prothean artifacts as you can. Fuckers were space wizards. And kinky.
Re: Naught is Perfect, an Extranet Advice Column
anonymous
May 11 2013, 02:57:42 UTC
Dear Ms. Perfect,
There's a boy in my class that I've been seeing for some time. His name is Danner, and I think he's wonderful. Our six-month anniversary is coming up, and I think he's going to make a move. He invited me to his place this Saturday. He says that he's gonna cook dinner.
The thing is, I'm not sure I'm ready to take things that far. Danner has been really patient, and very sweet. I know he'd understand if I said no, but the thing is...I'm not sure I want to. I've never done something like this before. How do I know that I'm ready?
Sincerely, Lawson 2.0
P.S. I have a...guardian angel, of sorts, whom I think has been sabotaging a lot of my romantic encounters over the course of my life. Lots of boys have suddenly 'disappeared' or 'their families had to move' or 'they're just not into women like that' or 'they just happened to end up in a full body cast when they went to pick up condoms' despite no warning. Any thoughts on how I can stop this from happening to Danner?
Write in to our fabulous column and have the wonderful Ms. Perfect and Ms. Naught respond with only the most helpful and insightful advice, provided by their own experience!
Posting is open to all Fornax and Kink Meme members and their affiliated sites.
Reply
Reply
There’s a delicious specimen of a man at my place of work. He’s the whole package: tall, dark, and handsome. He’s even fit, too! The trouble is, I don’t think he sees me most of the time, and I’m afraid of introducing him to some of my kinkier fantasies.
What should I do?
Sincerely,
LoveYouLongTime
Reply
Tie him to a chair and fuck his brains out. Hard to miss that.
-N
P.S. - Perfect says that isn’t good enough, so… I don’t know, find his porn stash and dress up as a maid or whatever the fuck he likes. He’s probably kinkier than you.
Reply
My work involves deep personal connections to a large number of people, sometimes not of my own species, and sometimes, I have a hard time separating my own personal feelings from work, and end up falling for people I work with. How can I avoid dating problems in the workplace? Help!
-EmpatheticinSpace
Reply
Try saying things like you already have someone, and be sure to set boundaries. When you are at work, you must remember that you are a professional, and professionals do not have dirty, dirty sex on their desks. If that fails, try thinking of your fellow employees as inferior to yourself. It’s a big turn-off.
Sincerely,
Ms. Perfect
Reply
Reply
I’ve worked with an amazing man for a number of years, and although we were estranged for a number of months due to mutual differences, we’ve developed a working relationship with each other. Now I think I’m developing feelings for him, and I’m not sure how he’ll react, or even if he likes men. What should I do?
Sincerely,
ThatsSpectre2you
Reply
Fuck, I don’t know. Doesn’t sound like you hate each other, so I have no clue. Try taking him on a date and telling him how you feel or some bullshit. If he says no, then at least you won’t puss out and regret it later.
-N
Reply
I’m friends with this quarian, for whom I hold a serious attraction. She, however, just got out of a bad relationship and is turned off from dating. I’ve dropped numerous hints, but she either glosses over them or misinterprets them! How can I get her to notice my feelings?!
Sincerely,
FriendZonedTurian
Reply
I don’t think she’s into you, bro. I’ll get ChatikaVasPaus on this though.
-N
Reply
If your friend just got out of a bad relationship, it’s probably best to give them some space to allow them to recover. Additionally, if your quarian is on Pilgrimage, they may be hesitant about starting new relationships while getting ready to head back to the Fleet. If you’re serious about her though, wait for her to move on from her previous relationship and step up both your hints and consider directly asking her.
Sincerely,
ChatikaVasPaus
P.S. - (I vote you flood her olfactory sensors with aphrodisiacs and hijack her suit’s nerve stim program, but that’s just me. -N)
Reply
I've been obsessed with male genitalia all my life, but I can't settle for playing with the ones my sexual partners have anymore. I need my own! What's the best way to get myself good and hung?
MissLackingCrotch
Reply
I know a guy on Omega. Or you can spring for gene mods. If you can't afford that, examine as many Prothean artifacts as you can. Fuckers were space wizards. And kinky.
-N
Reply
I forgot to mention, they make these dildos now that you can stick inside of you and they transmit what having a dick feels like.
I recommend them. Perfect loves hers, especially when-
[Data corrupted]
-N
Reply
There's a boy in my class that I've been seeing for some time. His name is Danner, and I think he's wonderful. Our six-month anniversary is coming up, and I think he's going to make a move. He invited me to his place this Saturday. He says that he's gonna cook dinner.
The thing is, I'm not sure I'm ready to take things that far. Danner has been really patient, and very sweet. I know he'd understand if I said no, but the thing is...I'm not sure I want to. I've never done something like this before. How do I know that I'm ready?
Sincerely,
Lawson 2.0
P.S. I have a...guardian angel, of sorts, whom I think has been sabotaging a lot of my romantic encounters over the course of my life. Lots of boys have suddenly 'disappeared' or 'their families had to move' or 'they're just not into women like that' or 'they just happened to end up in a full body cast when they went to pick up condoms' despite no warning. Any thoughts on how I can stop this from happening to Danner?
Reply
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