Naught is Perfect, an Extranet Advice Column
anonymous
May 11 2013, 02:21:23 UTC
Relationship problems? Lovesick? Have an unrequited love or marital issues?
Write in to our fabulous column and have the wonderful Ms. Perfect and Ms. Naught respond with only the most helpful and insightful advice, provided by their own experience!
Posting is open to all Fornax and Kink Meme members and their affiliated sites.
Re: Naught is Perfect, an Extranet Advice Column
anonymous
May 11 2013, 03:18:44 UTC
Dear Lawson 2.0
You've been dating this boy for six months and you want to MARRY him?! Even if he cooks, cleans, watches chick flicks with you, and passes a 63-point medical examination, that's still too short of a time to make such an important decision!
You're a beautiful woman, I'm sure, and Danner is lucky to have you. Marriage is a large commitment, however, and you should give this some time and consult your family before making such a life-changing decision.
Sincerely, Perfect
P.S. - As for his disappearance, from how amazing this 'guardian angel' sounds, he seems to already be a goner.
Re: Naught is Perfect, an Extranet Advice Column
anonymous
May 11 2013, 04:05:45 UTC
Dear Ms. Perfect,
No! I don't want to marry him! God, I mean...maybe one day, if that's how things go. But right now, I want to have sex with him. I...well...I've never slept with anyone before. I just don't know if I'm ready yet. I really, really want to, though. Preferably before my guardian angel decides to nuke his family, or something.
It's not really something I can discuss with family, you know? Any thoughts?
Re: Naught is Perfect, an Extranet Advice Column
anonymous
May 11 2013, 04:35:46 UTC
2.0-
Perfect started foaming at the mouth after she read this, so I took it over. Whatever.
If you want to do it that bad, do it. Don't get drunk, through, it's not as fun. And rough sex is much better than awkward teenage fumbling at romantic sex. Get some lube too. Be sure to do the whole 'safe sex' thing, too, I guess.
Oh, and make sure he gets you off and doesn't fucking fall asleep after. Guys can be fucking assholes sometimes.
-N
P.S. - Should tell this guardian angel of yours to get laid and chill out.
First Time Concerns?
anonymous
May 11 2013, 04:44:01 UTC
Dear Ms. Naught,
Do you have any recommendations for a brand of lube? I've been doing research, but I'd like some personal input too. What do you and Ms. Perfect use?
Thanks! Lawson 2.0
P.S. I've been telling her the same thing. There's some tattooed girl that keeps spamming her terminal with lesbian porn. She gets so mad. It's hilarious. And totally obvious, too.
Re: First Time Concerns?
anonymous
May 11 2013, 05:13:42 UTC
2.0-
Shit, at least buy me dinner first...
Y&K has this gel that's warming, and gives this tingling sensation that's ridiculously good when they're buried all the way inside of you.
Other than that, spring for something a little expensive, and stick to recognizable brand names, like Y&K, Spartan, or XeruD. Low-quality shit can burn like hell, and fucking sucks. Or better yet, make him buy it and the condoms.
As for us, Perfect's usually so wet from all my spanking and teasing that we don't need it, and have to change the sheets afterwards. Sometimes though, I fuck her for so long that lube helps, and avoids chafing. Most of the time she's such a slut that I don't need it.
Workplace Rivalry
anonymous
May 11 2013, 03:14:08 UTC
Ms. Naught,
There's this woman I have to work with every day. We started out bitter enemies when we first met, but more and more often when I have to deal with her every day, I find myself imagining her bending me over and... well, you know. I was always her superior officer, but it's getting harder to resist my urges. Should I treat it like a passing thing and ignore my feelings, or stop holding back and let her know how I feel about her?
I've Got An Itch
anonymous
May 11 2013, 04:18:41 UTC
Ms. Perfect and Ms. Naught,
I have this... umm... 'rash'. And this... 'rash'... has been spreading around my place of employment. I know certain details about this 'rash' that I think I should share with my two... three... okay, many many past sexual partners, but I'm ashamed that telling them will make them think I'm a hussy. Help!
Re: I've Got An Itch
anonymous
May 11 2013, 05:48:07 UTC
Dear Ms. Perfect,
I guess I should bite the bullet and tell my partners before it's too late. It's going to be hard, but you're right, it's the right thing to do.
Why did I never think of that form of foreplay before! It sounds so obvious for a lady like me with the qualities that got me my current job. I have good reason to believe that I won't get much out of the one I think gave me this 'rash' by trying to talk to it, but it should help with all the others. Thanks for everything!
Write in to our fabulous column and have the wonderful Ms. Perfect and Ms. Naught respond with only the most helpful and insightful advice, provided by their own experience!
Posting is open to all Fornax and Kink Meme members and their affiliated sites.
Reply
You've been dating this boy for six months and you want to MARRY him?! Even if he cooks, cleans, watches chick flicks with you, and passes a 63-point medical examination, that's still too short of a time to make such an important decision!
You're a beautiful woman, I'm sure, and Danner is lucky to have you. Marriage is a large commitment, however, and you should give this some time and consult your family before making such a life-changing decision.
Sincerely,
Perfect
P.S. - As for his disappearance, from how amazing this 'guardian angel' sounds, he seems to already be a goner.
Reply
No! I don't want to marry him! God, I mean...maybe one day, if that's how things go. But right now, I want to have sex with him. I...well...I've never slept with anyone before. I just don't know if I'm ready yet. I really, really want to, though. Preferably before my guardian angel decides to nuke his family, or something.
It's not really something I can discuss with family, you know? Any thoughts?
Sincerely,
Lawson 2.0
Reply
Reply
Perfect started foaming at the mouth after she read this, so I took it over. Whatever.
If you want to do it that bad, do it. Don't get drunk, through, it's not as fun. And rough sex is much better than awkward teenage fumbling at romantic sex. Get some lube too. Be sure to do the whole 'safe sex' thing, too, I guess.
Oh, and make sure he gets you off and doesn't fucking fall asleep after. Guys can be fucking assholes sometimes.
-N
P.S. - Should tell this guardian angel of yours to get laid and chill out.
Reply
Do you have any recommendations for a brand of lube? I've been doing research, but I'd like some personal input too. What do you and Ms. Perfect use?
Thanks!
Lawson 2.0
P.S. I've been telling her the same thing. There's some tattooed girl that keeps spamming her terminal with lesbian porn. She gets so mad. It's hilarious. And totally obvious, too.
Reply
Shit, at least buy me dinner first...
Y&K has this gel that's warming, and gives this tingling sensation that's ridiculously good when they're buried all the way inside of you.
Other than that, spring for something a little expensive, and stick to recognizable brand names, like Y&K, Spartan, or XeruD. Low-quality shit can burn like hell, and fucking sucks. Or better yet, make him buy it and the condoms.
As for us, Perfect's usually so wet from all my spanking and teasing that we don't need it, and have to change the sheets afterwards. Sometimes though, I fuck her for so long that lube helps, and avoids chafing. Most of the time she's such a slut that I don't need it.
Hope that helps or whatever.
-N
Reply
This is so hilarious! Hope you write more!
Reply
( ... )
Reply
There's this woman I have to work with every day. We started out bitter enemies when we first met, but more and more often when I have to deal with her every day, I find myself imagining her bending me over and... well, you know. I was always her superior officer, but it's getting harder to resist my urges. Should I treat it like a passing thing and ignore my feelings, or stop holding back and let her know how I feel about her?
Sincerely,
Ms. Perfect
Reply
You gave me so much shit about 'decorum' and 'professionalism' when I posted about Cialis.
AND you lectured me when I trolled you about my 'insatiable girlfriend'.
Not fucking forgetting this. You're paying tonight.
-N
Reply
I have this... umm... 'rash'. And this... 'rash'... has been spreading around my place of employment. I know certain details about this 'rash' that I think I should share with my two... three... okay, many many past sexual partners, but I'm ashamed that telling them will make them think I'm a hussy. Help!
-SexyInRed
Reply
Reply
I guess I should bite the bullet and tell my partners before it's too late. It's going to be hard, but you're right, it's the right thing to do.
Why did I never think of that form of foreplay before! It sounds so obvious for a lady like me with the qualities that got me my current job. I have good reason to believe that I won't get much out of the one I think gave me this 'rash' by trying to talk to it, but it should help with all the others. Thanks for everything!
-SexyInRed
Reply
Reply
Reply
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