The message was brief but the skilfully manipulated language used verified that it was the hanar contacting him. The message, when traced, had originated in Kahje. It wasn’t forged and the hanar had no reason to lie to him
( ... )
Irresponsibilities (2/?)
anonymous
June 10 2011, 22:59:04 UTC
His son - yes, his son - was barely a child. He was just starting school, at that crucial point in between where he needed to learn to communicate with the language he had been given. Basic social interactions needed to be learned. These were the years that would shape his future. Kolyat had the final decision, the deciding voice in whether or not the child would grow up with a parent or only the memory of one. The hanar would raise him, train him if Kolyat wouldn’t. It didn’t need to be his responsibility. He didn’t need to concern himself with this in the least. That knowledge was appealing: it felt cowardly on some level that he couldn’t recognise, but he wasn’t prepared to take responsibility for another person’s life. He made a basic living. He wasn’t level-headed enough to make good choices for himself. He was less than a thug, only a free man due to a technicality and a lot of fancy paperwork. He knew nothing of what it took to be a father. By the time the night cycle had well and truly settled over the Citadel, Kolyat had
( ... )
Irresponsibilities (3/?)
anonymous
June 10 2011, 23:00:42 UTC
He knelt down and tried to ignore the security officer behind him. Tried not to think of all the ways he could ruin this. Was Vasead able to recall every moment perfectly yet? When were children fully adept with their eidetic memory? Why hadn’t he started researching this when he first agreed to take full custody? The questions he should’ve asked himself days ago then started blotting out the words he’d intended to say then and there, leaving him with absolutely nothing to draw on but a deepening pit of uncertainty
( ... )
Irresponsibilities (4/?)
anonymous
June 10 2011, 23:02:01 UTC
Contacting Thane would also mean admitting Vasaed’s existence to him. There was one thing Kolyat resolved to protect Vasaed from, even if he couldn’t get anything else right - abandonment. That was why he’d agreed to this in the first place. Thane wouldn’t ever know about this if Kolyat had anything to say about it. The first thing he’d done to prepare for Vasaed’s arrival was scare off Mouse: if Thane was keeping an eye on him, it was through that son of a bitch. It was also another reason why he didn’t ask Bailey or in any way confide in the other man. Commander Shepard would tell his father anything he heard about Kolyat: Bailey respected Shepard, spoke highly of him. He’d brought up once or twice how he’d contacted Shepard and mentioned that he’d passed Thane’s contact details on to Kolyat, trying to push him into making a call or sending a letter.
He didn’t believe for a moment that Vasaed would be kept secret forever. Kolyat just…he needed time. He needed to figure out how to be a parent before everyone started watching and
( ... )
Irresponsibilities (5/?)
anonymous
June 10 2011, 23:03:21 UTC
Oh. Right. Some parents favoured a disciplinary approach, controlled what their kids would see. They tried to suspend that childlike innocence as long as possible. Kolyat considered it, but he already had the child lock on the extranet. Vasaed wouldn’t see anything that a kid shouldn’t, he figured. “If you ever want to watch something here, it’s alright.” He didn’t say anything to that; he just looked kind of like he was thinking about it. Trying to gauge this decision. Kolyat didn’t wait to see whether the kid chose to like it or not. The silence would get uncomfortable. “What about something to read?”
“I’m still learning.”
Of course. So much for all those kids books he’d bought. “Well…” Well shit. He fidgeted, lacing his fingers together and releasing them intermittently. He tried to think. What did kids like? He tried to think of what he’d been like, what he’d done when he was that small. The solution struck him amidst a memory - his mother with a data pad full of symbols he wouldn’t recognise independently for years, sitting him
( ... )
Irresponsibilities (6/?)
anonymous
June 10 2011, 23:04:39 UTC
School was conducted differently in the Citadel to what he remembered on Kahje. There were fewer students per teacher, larger classes, less specific lessons and subjects. Children attended for a shorter time and took more schoolwork home. It had posed more problems for him, since he had to take the time in the middle of the day from reporting in at C-Sec or dropping whatever leads Bailey had him chasing in order to pick up Vasaed. Some children were permitted to walk home without anyone accompanying them. Kolyat knew better, knew what was in the Wards. That lack of supervision might be fine for a turian or human child, even a waddling little volus, but not a drell. Not in the Wards. Too much of a target, too much risk. So Kolyat had to learn to get creative with his lies, flexible with his excuses
( ... )
Irresponsibilities (7/?)
anonymous
June 10 2011, 23:05:39 UTC
“There’s a possibility I’m wrong,” he said quietly at Mouse’s shoulder. The other man jerked like he’d been electrocuted, spun around and very nearly yelled something. Kolyat stabilized him with a hand on his shoulder, and shut him up with a winding strike to the gut. Mouse wheezed, crumpled a little. Kolyat scanned the other parents milling around the school, waiting for their children to be dismissed - none of them were paying attention, they were too far away to be heard. Good. He looked back at Mouse, who was trying to straighten up, and cut to the chase. “You’re following me.”
Irresponsibilities (8/?)
anonymous
June 10 2011, 23:08:03 UTC
Kolyat looked at the other parents - they still didn’t notice anything - then made as though he was following Mouse as the duct rat ran off. Just in case, making sure he didn’t double-back. When he was certain the human was gone, he turned back around and made his way to the school again. Vasaed was waiting by the doors, sitting on a bench. He slid off as soon as he saw his father, took Kolyat’s index finger in his stubby little hand and started to follow the familiar path home. He’d fallen into the habit of late where he’d immediately launch into what he’d learned: he didn’t wait to be asked anymore. This time they made it well away from the school and into the elevator down to the Wards before he spoke up. Kolyat, so absorbed in his thoughts, hadn’t even noticed. “You’re sad,” Vasaed noted
( ... )
Irresponsibilities (9/?)
anonymous
June 10 2011, 23:08:58 UTC
Then Vasaed started getting interested in music. Kolyat didn’t even think about it until he found himself coming out of another trance. And there was Vasaed, right there. Curious as ever
( ... )
Irresponsibilities (10/?)
anonymous
June 10 2011, 23:10:14 UTC
“What? No! …What? Why would you-?” Kolyat cringed at himself. Nicely done. “Why do you think you’re in trouble?”
“My teachers wanted to talk to you. They call the parents of a student when something’s wrong.”
“Oh.” He ought to lie. Friends were a big deal to kids, or they should be. Well, maybe not that. They usually were a big deal, at least. If Vasaed was in the least bit feeling alone at school, there was no way to say ‘so I hear you’re unpopular’ without putting up walls between them. It’d nearly been a year and Kolyat still didn’t feel like he could do anything but walk on glass around the kid. He used to think that he’d be less worried when Vasaed was settled in, but now there was even more that he could screw up for his son. It ate at him like a flesh-consuming virus. “Look…” he began uneasily. “They’re worried about you. It’s nothing you’ve done wrong, and it’s up to you one way or another if you want to or not, but these teachers…they think that you should be making friends with the other students
( ... )
Irresponsibilities (12/14)
anonymous
June 10 2011, 23:13:11 UTC
There was no point in pretences. Kolyat tried to relax, but couldn’t. He tried to reason with himself that he wasn’t in the wrong, but Bailey’s disappointment was still there. He tried to tell himself he didn’t care, but that didn’t take at all. “It’s nothing to do with you. Personal information wasn’t a part of this set-up
( ... )
Irresponsibilities (13/14)
anonymous
June 10 2011, 23:14:13 UTC
“Calm down, Krios. I know you, I know the kid’s not in any danger. It’s just procedure. Hell, it’s not even a charge or a real black mark. It’s not why I wanted to talk, either.” The Commander shook his head and scratched the back of his ear. A nervous habit, Kolyat had learned. “You know what I’m going to ask. Is it gonna piss you off less if I say it, or if you just guess it?”
“I’m not telling him.”
“He’ll find out.”
“Not the usual way. Not through that duct rat.”
“He’ll still find out.”
“Will you tell him? Or Shepard?”
“Not if you ask me not to.”
“Then don’t.”
“I’m just saying. He’ll know one day.” Bailey made a conceding shrug. “If he’s got that kind of time left, anyway. Wasn’t he doing poorly when you last saw him?”
Kolyat narrowed his eyes. “That’s not going to convince me, Commander. That’s even more reason not to tell him. I’m the first consistent thing in Vasaed’s life. I’m not throwing him a grandparent who’s just going to be a drop in the ocean by the time his next birthday comes around
( ... )
Re: Irresponsibilities (14/14)
anonymous
June 11 2011, 00:04:03 UTC
Passerby!anon here.
That was a real pleasure to read, anon. Kolyat was just the right amount of confused and eager to help his kid at the same time. I loved their interactions and I loved the character development.
I wonder whether you'd be willing to write a sequel to it where Thane does find out he's got a grandson. I really hope you would.
The message was brief but the skilfully manipulated language used verified that it was the hanar contacting him. The message, when traced, had originated in Kahje. It wasn’t forged and the hanar had no reason to lie to him ( ... )
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He didn’t believe for a moment that Vasaed would be kept secret forever. Kolyat just…he needed time. He needed to figure out how to be a parent before everyone started watching and ( ... )
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“I’m still learning.”
Of course. So much for all those kids books he’d bought. “Well…” Well shit. He fidgeted, lacing his fingers together and releasing them intermittently. He tried to think. What did kids like? He tried to think of what he’d been like, what he’d done when he was that small. The solution struck him amidst a memory - his mother with a data pad full of symbols he wouldn’t recognise independently for years, sitting him ( ... )
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“I’m just standing here ( ... )
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“My teachers wanted to talk to you. They call the parents of a student when something’s wrong.”
“Oh.” He ought to lie. Friends were a big deal to kids, or they should be. Well, maybe not that. They usually were a big deal, at least. If Vasaed was in the least bit feeling alone at school, there was no way to say ‘so I hear you’re unpopular’ without putting up walls between them. It’d nearly been a year and Kolyat still didn’t feel like he could do anything but walk on glass around the kid. He used to think that he’d be less worried when Vasaed was settled in, but now there was even more that he could screw up for his son. It ate at him like a flesh-consuming virus. “Look…” he began uneasily. “They’re worried about you. It’s nothing you’ve done wrong, and it’s up to you one way or another if you want to or not, but these teachers…they think that you should be making friends with the other students ( ... )
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“I’m not telling him.”
“He’ll find out.”
“Not the usual way. Not through that duct rat.”
“He’ll still find out.”
“Will you tell him? Or Shepard?”
“Not if you ask me not to.”
“Then don’t.”
“I’m just saying. He’ll know one day.” Bailey made a conceding shrug. “If he’s got that kind of time left, anyway. Wasn’t he doing poorly when you last saw him?”
Kolyat narrowed his eyes. “That’s not going to convince me, Commander. That’s even more reason not to tell him. I’m the first consistent thing in Vasaed’s life. I’m not throwing him a grandparent who’s just going to be a drop in the ocean by the time his next birthday comes around ( ... )
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That was a real pleasure to read, anon. Kolyat was just the right amount of confused and eager to help his kid at the same time. I loved their interactions and I loved the character development.
I wonder whether you'd be willing to write a sequel to it where Thane does find out he's got a grandson. I really hope you would.
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