i want chris to walk in the door with flowers and hold me the way a woman needs holdin.

well, things seem to be better but chris seems to want to break up every five minutes. i guess i just need to be nicer. i don't intend on being mean but some of the things he does, compounded with my paranoia, is making it hard for me to not have these delusional thoughts and questions. i'm sorry! i don't know why i was afflicted with paranoia. i ( Read more... )

i'm watching chris go down a spiral that i can't control, one that i started, i think, somehow a long time ago when we first started taking pills. now he won't stop. he is going to lose us and he doesn't even realize it. he's pushing me and sienna away because we smother him but what will he do when he's alone? when i finally become well enough to ( Read more... )

chris is ignoring me.

he is manic again.
he wasn't rude like before, just demanding.
if his demands aren't met, he acts like a brat.
anyway, i'm eating mellisa's boca chick'n patties. muahaha do not leave food in my freezer it will be goneeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

what a new years.

thanks for the christmas card, jen!!!

so i won my SSI. i am really happy. now i get a bunch of money in back pay and it should totall over 1000+ even more maybe, and now everyone seems to want a piece of it. my mom was the first to ask she wants brake line system replaced in her car ( Read more... )

well, i was at my hearing at 9:45 sharp. They asked me how I got there and I said my boyfriend drove me. They asked me about my medicines. They asked me some other things, but all in all the thing that made me the most paranoid was they brought up that i tested positive for cannabis and opium. the judge wasn't fazed. he ruled in favor of me and now ( Read more... )

I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and I completely agree with 98% of what that person said, above ( Read more... )

it's hard. i don't know portions. portions are so much smaller than i thought they were. i'm finally documenting my food intake and exercise output. :)