Gift Fic: An Educational Holiday, HIMYM, Barney/Robin, PG-13
This is a Christmas Gift Fic for snogged . I hope you like my maiden voyage into these stormy waters, dear! Oh god! This felt so weird! Out of my sandbox and into a new one... *squee!*
Title: An Educational Holiday
Author: maryfic
Disclaimer: Dunno who owns them, but I do not. I also don’t own any part of Cyrano de Bergerac.
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Barney/Robin, Marshall/Lily
A/N: Here it is. The very first Barney/Robin ficlet by moi, and I wrote it as a gift for the marvelous snogged. Happy Christmas!
A/N 2: Written about six minutes into HIMYM season five, episode 3, Robin 101. I have not seen past this yet.
A/N 3 - I am sure I don’t have these voices down yet. But I tried.
“This isn’t working,” Barney said, staring at Ted, who was standing by the blackboard, pointer in hand. “And it’s incredibly stupid. Possibly demeaning.” He rose from the chair, lifting his jacket and sliding it over his shoulders. “I’m headed out.”
Ted aimed the pointer at his face. “Stop. Do you love her? I mean, really love her? Enough to stop being the shlup Barney? The strip club Barney?” The ladies’ man Barney, in other words.
He hadn’t slept with another woman in two months. Two months! After Lily had locked the pair of them in the bedroom and they’d lied to get out, Barney had finally seen it.
Seen what, you ask? Wait for it.
The truth in the lie.
He was in love with Robin, and for some fucked-up cosmic joke, she returned his feelings.
And now here he was, failing the most important class of his life. Robin 101.
He sat back down, and Ted smiled. Maybe this would work after all.
In their apartment, Robin was going through a much different experience, with a much different teacher.
Lily too, had a chalkboard, and a pointer. But she also had Marshall, who had reneged on his charting intervention for this special occasion and was providing secondary visuals.
“Barney likes to drink - he got this from his mother.”
“Barney also likes to be a man whore,” Robin replied. “I can’t - he’s not cut out for
relationships, Lily. Which he probably also got from his mother.”
“Ah, but no!” she replied. “Unlike his mother, Barney is cut from a different mold.” Marshall held up a string of male cutouts to illustrate. “And unlike his mother, he can be trimmed to fit a new mold.” Lily pointed at Marshall, who neatly cut around one of the now separate figures. One thin line of paper fell to his lap, and the Barney stand-in looked nearly unchanged.
Except for a big cut through his head.
“Sorry,” Marshall shrugged. “Child-safety scissors.”
Robin got up, shaking her head. “Guys, thanks, but this just isn’t going to work out - relationships just aren’t us.”
But her mind began to wander as she left the apartment and hooked a right, moving through the familiar neighborhood. Barney had been acting weird lately - and once she’d been convinced he wasn’t cheating on her, it led her down a new, more confusing path. Was Barney trying to change for her? And why would he? It was Barney, for christ’s sake.
With no answers and no better questions, she melted into the crowd and tried not to think
anymore.
Halloween in New York is like the biggest freak show you’ve ever seen. And Barney loved it. It gave him a chance to do - exactly what he did every other night, only in costume. This year’s model was particularly inspired - and he’d chosen it carefully, because Robin was bound to show to this lame party eventually, and he had allies in Ted, Lily, and Marshall.
Ted thought Robin would understand the gesture of him wearing the Cyrano costume better than any other, and while the nose itched and he thought the putty was melting, his casual stance against the wall was pretty comfortable.
When he saw Robin, that comfort was gone. She came over to him, dressed not as the erstwhile Roxanne, but in a simple witch costume.
The approach was imminent, and it was time to prove his friends investment in this education.
So he paraphrased, quietly, honestly.
“You ask me whom I love? It’s perfectly transparent. Sometimes I let myself be carried away, I forget myself - then suddenly, I am shown my shadow on the garden wall, unchanging, despite my tender feelings.”
And fucked it up royally - or had he?
“A kiss, when all is said, what is it? An oath, a promise, a heart’s vow. A secret that is whispered to mouth, not ear.”
No one noticed the couple in the corner for the rest of the night, underneath the sweeping darkness of cloak and hat. Low murmurs did not disturb the party-goers, who had no idea how education Halloween could truly be.
THE END
Title: An Educational Holiday
Author: maryfic
Disclaimer: Dunno who owns them, but I do not. I also don’t own any part of Cyrano de Bergerac.
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Barney/Robin, Marshall/Lily
A/N: Here it is. The very first Barney/Robin ficlet by moi, and I wrote it as a gift for the marvelous snogged. Happy Christmas!
A/N 2: Written about six minutes into HIMYM season five, episode 3, Robin 101. I have not seen past this yet.
A/N 3 - I am sure I don’t have these voices down yet. But I tried.
“This isn’t working,” Barney said, staring at Ted, who was standing by the blackboard, pointer in hand. “And it’s incredibly stupid. Possibly demeaning.” He rose from the chair, lifting his jacket and sliding it over his shoulders. “I’m headed out.”
Ted aimed the pointer at his face. “Stop. Do you love her? I mean, really love her? Enough to stop being the shlup Barney? The strip club Barney?” The ladies’ man Barney, in other words.
He hadn’t slept with another woman in two months. Two months! After Lily had locked the pair of them in the bedroom and they’d lied to get out, Barney had finally seen it.
Seen what, you ask? Wait for it.
The truth in the lie.
He was in love with Robin, and for some fucked-up cosmic joke, she returned his feelings.
And now here he was, failing the most important class of his life. Robin 101.
He sat back down, and Ted smiled. Maybe this would work after all.
In their apartment, Robin was going through a much different experience, with a much different teacher.
Lily too, had a chalkboard, and a pointer. But she also had Marshall, who had reneged on his charting intervention for this special occasion and was providing secondary visuals.
“Barney likes to drink - he got this from his mother.”
“Barney also likes to be a man whore,” Robin replied. “I can’t - he’s not cut out for
relationships, Lily. Which he probably also got from his mother.”
“Ah, but no!” she replied. “Unlike his mother, Barney is cut from a different mold.” Marshall held up a string of male cutouts to illustrate. “And unlike his mother, he can be trimmed to fit a new mold.” Lily pointed at Marshall, who neatly cut around one of the now separate figures. One thin line of paper fell to his lap, and the Barney stand-in looked nearly unchanged.
Except for a big cut through his head.
“Sorry,” Marshall shrugged. “Child-safety scissors.”
Robin got up, shaking her head. “Guys, thanks, but this just isn’t going to work out - relationships just aren’t us.”
But her mind began to wander as she left the apartment and hooked a right, moving through the familiar neighborhood. Barney had been acting weird lately - and once she’d been convinced he wasn’t cheating on her, it led her down a new, more confusing path. Was Barney trying to change for her? And why would he? It was Barney, for christ’s sake.
With no answers and no better questions, she melted into the crowd and tried not to think
anymore.
Halloween in New York is like the biggest freak show you’ve ever seen. And Barney loved it. It gave him a chance to do - exactly what he did every other night, only in costume. This year’s model was particularly inspired - and he’d chosen it carefully, because Robin was bound to show to this lame party eventually, and he had allies in Ted, Lily, and Marshall.
Ted thought Robin would understand the gesture of him wearing the Cyrano costume better than any other, and while the nose itched and he thought the putty was melting, his casual stance against the wall was pretty comfortable.
When he saw Robin, that comfort was gone. She came over to him, dressed not as the erstwhile Roxanne, but in a simple witch costume.
The approach was imminent, and it was time to prove his friends investment in this education.
So he paraphrased, quietly, honestly.
“You ask me whom I love? It’s perfectly transparent. Sometimes I let myself be carried away, I forget myself - then suddenly, I am shown my shadow on the garden wall, unchanging, despite my tender feelings.”
And fucked it up royally - or had he?
“A kiss, when all is said, what is it? An oath, a promise, a heart’s vow. A secret that is whispered to mouth, not ear.”
No one noticed the couple in the corner for the rest of the night, underneath the sweeping darkness of cloak and hat. Low murmurs did not disturb the party-goers, who had no idea how education Halloween could truly be.
THE END