And this is where Prowl first shows off his ass wings.
Title: Thirty Days on the Sea: The Pocky Factor.
Rating: R - Humor.
Pairings: Implied Ironhide x Ratchet.
Characters: Prowl, Jazz, Sam, Mikaela, Bumblebee and mentions of other 'bots and Ironhide and Ratchet bickering like a married couple.
Summary: After overseeing the landing of his team, Prowl landed on Earth on the wrong side of the planet, an action that proved more than just a little uncovenient.
Notes: Jazz seems to have a knack for human snacks. This is crack, pure and simple crack.
Thanks to nkfloofiepoof for beta reading this for me.
Humans were a rather interesting species. They were so different among themselves, their customs changed greatly from place to place, several languages were in use, and even the smallest conglomeration seemed to have an identity of its own.
Prowl hadn't had much time to study humans since his arrival to Earth. A miscalculated landing stranded him in a country just about the other side of the planet where his fellow Autobots had built their new base. His team, consisting of Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Hound, Mirage, Bluestreak, Wheeljack, Red Alert, and Inferno had landed as planned despite constant delays in order to face the right side of the planet.
He, however, saw fit to execute a little experiment and decided to begin his landing into the planet earlier than he should have when the other side of the planet was facing him. That had been a decidedly bad move on his part, and he paid for it in kind. Thirty Primus forsaken days inside a container carried through the seas by a freight ship.
Those thirty days spent in the middle of a mass of water exposed him only to what information he could access through the Internet and the... interesting practices of the human appointed as his 'caretaker'.
He had taken the alternate mode of a Japanese police patrol car intended to be taken to an exhibition somewhere in America. What he didn't expect were the dubious purposes his caretaker had in mind for his trunk and other parts of his interior.
And that was how, when he first appeared on the outskirts of Tranquility where the Autobot base was located, he asked with no little amount of embarrassment for assistance to unload all the contraband the caretaker had smuggled, carefully hidden in secret compartments he had copied when he scanned the original vehicle.
Mirage had the decency of addressing an apologetic smile to his superior, but Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Ironhide, and Jazz laughed their mufflers off without a hint of remorse. He would get them back for that later on when he could fully resume his official duties.
That was still going to take a little time. After he had been emptied from all the merchandise hidden inside and he transformed, a second round of laughter ran over the Autobot ranks. Jazz had been the one who decided to be helpful and point out the reason behind their laughter.
"Ya're not exactly bein' inconspicuous, Prowler," he said. When asked why, the saboteur had to stifle a laugh again.
"Ya're not goin' to blend too well in here, ya know? Ya're a Japanese police interceptor in the U.S.A. One that was meant t'be at an exhibition that suddenly disappeared upon reachin' th'shore. Catch my drift?"
And thus began his predicament. He was stuck like that until something could be done about his paint job or he scanned a new alternate mode. The later would require him to go back into the town and scan a local vehicle which would have to wait until night time. The former would require Ratchet to be in the mood of performing the paint job session, and according to what Hound supplied, Ironhide had managed to piss off his medic lover to the Pit and back. Requesting a new paint job from the medic would be like asking him to tear his four door wings right there. Asking Wheeljack to do it wasn't exactly in his best interest either.
He had decided to look at his options the next morning after some very much needed recharge. Next time he had to land in some planet, he'd stick to the plan and wait the slagging hours it would take for the right side of the planet to face him.
But the excitement wasn't anywhere over yet. Bumblebee had arrived shortly after and introduced the humans Sam Witwicky and Mikaela Banes. He greeted them politely and was about to retreat back to some place he could just plop down for a recharge when he heard her say something that stopped him on his tracks.
"Hey, Sam? Remember when we first saw Bumblebee in action and you said he was a super advanced robot from Japan?" A third round of cackles and laughter ensued and the Autobot tactician was calculating the odds of Optimus Prime court martialing him right there if he terminated at least a few of his fellow Autobots in their recharge.
He shook his head and cleared the thoughts from his processors. No need to be revengeful. Right? Right.
"Hey Prowler, what exactly are these things we unloaded outta your trunk?" Jazz asked with almost child like excitement as he opened a few cardboard boxes and rummaged through the contents, pulling out a diminutive pink box. "Strawberry Pocky? What's that?"
Prowl shrugged and reached for another box, inspecting it carefully. "It seems to be a human treat of sorts."
"That sounds interestin'." Jazz fumbled with the tiny box as carefully as his clawed fingers allowed him and retrieved one of the sticks before he put it to his mouth and swallowed it whole. "Not bad!"
"You shouldn't be eating that. This is contraband," the cruiser sighed heavily but knew from past experience that his reprimand would fall on deaf audios.
"It's not like th'guy's gonna come 'ere to ask for them! 'Sides, I don't think we can just turn this ta th'police." The saboteur grinned and ate more of the biscuit sticks covered in strawberry flavored cream. "There's a whole lotta flavors 'ere!"
Knowing the Pontiac was right, Prowl decided not to argue and allowed him to keep the boxes of pocky. "Where is Prime? I need to report to him properly."
"He's out runnin' some errands for a few 'friends' o' us. He'll be here first thing in the mornin'." Jazz decided two boxes in thirty seconds were more than enough for the time being and gathered the boxes to store them on his room. "By the way, I don't think Optimus assigned ya a room yet so ya can stay at my quarters. I've got two berths there."
Prowl nodded his thanks and followed after the smaller mech, hoping tomorrow would be a better day. Sadly for him, Ironhide and Ratchet's quarters happened to be right across from Jazz's and they decided to have another verbal match.
Prowl groaned wearily and buried his face on the surface of the berth, wondering how Jazz could recharge when those two were bickering. He prayed the verbal sparring would stay at that, but knowing the weapons specialist and medic, the possibility of Ratchet demonstrating his pitcher capabilities was high.
"Primus, just deactivate me now."
The sounds of rustling inside of a box made him turn around and look over to the berth on the other side of the room, finally realizing Jazz was -not- recharging. "Are you still eating those things?" Prowl asked in disbelief.
"I can't stop!" Jazz whined and sat up on the berth, reaching for another pack of pocky from the box he had put down by his recharging platform. "I think I'm addicted." He chuckled sheepishly and proceeded to open the pack and swallow the contents like a fun-sized pack of cookies.
Prowl heaved a sigh and just watched the Pontiac devour the human treats. "You might want to talk with Ratchet about that in the morning."
"I will." Jazz nodded and glanced in direction of the medic's and his mate's quarters, realizing the bickering and yelling had stopped. "Oh boy."
"What?"
"Do ya know what happens after Ratchet an' Ironhide yell at each other all day?" Jazz asked with a mischievous grin.
The police interceptor stared at Jazz with a hint of confusion for a moment before he caught the hint in Jazz's voice. "They wouldn't..."
"They will."
And Primus, were they loud.
--------------------
Notes: Okaaay, I'm -still- trying to figure out the kinks about Prowl's alternate mode on this. Not sure if he should just get his paintjob tweaked to change the kanji on his paint job to 'Highway Patrol' or have him scan a local patrol -which would make him look like Barricade since most of the police vehicles nowdays are painted very similar to Barricade. Suggestions about this issue -wether to alter his paintjob or scan another patrol car- are very very appreciated.
Rating: R - Humor.
Pairings: Implied Ironhide x Ratchet.
Characters: Prowl, Jazz, Sam, Mikaela, Bumblebee and mentions of other 'bots and Ironhide and Ratchet bickering like a married couple.
Summary: After overseeing the landing of his team, Prowl landed on Earth on the wrong side of the planet, an action that proved more than just a little uncovenient.
Notes: Jazz seems to have a knack for human snacks. This is crack, pure and simple crack.
Thanks to nkfloofiepoof for beta reading this for me.
Humans were a rather interesting species. They were so different among themselves, their customs changed greatly from place to place, several languages were in use, and even the smallest conglomeration seemed to have an identity of its own.
Prowl hadn't had much time to study humans since his arrival to Earth. A miscalculated landing stranded him in a country just about the other side of the planet where his fellow Autobots had built their new base. His team, consisting of Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Hound, Mirage, Bluestreak, Wheeljack, Red Alert, and Inferno had landed as planned despite constant delays in order to face the right side of the planet.
He, however, saw fit to execute a little experiment and decided to begin his landing into the planet earlier than he should have when the other side of the planet was facing him. That had been a decidedly bad move on his part, and he paid for it in kind. Thirty Primus forsaken days inside a container carried through the seas by a freight ship.
Those thirty days spent in the middle of a mass of water exposed him only to what information he could access through the Internet and the... interesting practices of the human appointed as his 'caretaker'.
He had taken the alternate mode of a Japanese police patrol car intended to be taken to an exhibition somewhere in America. What he didn't expect were the dubious purposes his caretaker had in mind for his trunk and other parts of his interior.
And that was how, when he first appeared on the outskirts of Tranquility where the Autobot base was located, he asked with no little amount of embarrassment for assistance to unload all the contraband the caretaker had smuggled, carefully hidden in secret compartments he had copied when he scanned the original vehicle.
Mirage had the decency of addressing an apologetic smile to his superior, but Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Ironhide, and Jazz laughed their mufflers off without a hint of remorse. He would get them back for that later on when he could fully resume his official duties.
That was still going to take a little time. After he had been emptied from all the merchandise hidden inside and he transformed, a second round of laughter ran over the Autobot ranks. Jazz had been the one who decided to be helpful and point out the reason behind their laughter.
"Ya're not exactly bein' inconspicuous, Prowler," he said. When asked why, the saboteur had to stifle a laugh again.
"Ya're not goin' to blend too well in here, ya know? Ya're a Japanese police interceptor in the U.S.A. One that was meant t'be at an exhibition that suddenly disappeared upon reachin' th'shore. Catch my drift?"
And thus began his predicament. He was stuck like that until something could be done about his paint job or he scanned a new alternate mode. The later would require him to go back into the town and scan a local vehicle which would have to wait until night time. The former would require Ratchet to be in the mood of performing the paint job session, and according to what Hound supplied, Ironhide had managed to piss off his medic lover to the Pit and back. Requesting a new paint job from the medic would be like asking him to tear his four door wings right there. Asking Wheeljack to do it wasn't exactly in his best interest either.
He had decided to look at his options the next morning after some very much needed recharge. Next time he had to land in some planet, he'd stick to the plan and wait the slagging hours it would take for the right side of the planet to face him.
But the excitement wasn't anywhere over yet. Bumblebee had arrived shortly after and introduced the humans Sam Witwicky and Mikaela Banes. He greeted them politely and was about to retreat back to some place he could just plop down for a recharge when he heard her say something that stopped him on his tracks.
"Hey, Sam? Remember when we first saw Bumblebee in action and you said he was a super advanced robot from Japan?" A third round of cackles and laughter ensued and the Autobot tactician was calculating the odds of Optimus Prime court martialing him right there if he terminated at least a few of his fellow Autobots in their recharge.
He shook his head and cleared the thoughts from his processors. No need to be revengeful. Right? Right.
"Hey Prowler, what exactly are these things we unloaded outta your trunk?" Jazz asked with almost child like excitement as he opened a few cardboard boxes and rummaged through the contents, pulling out a diminutive pink box. "Strawberry Pocky? What's that?"
Prowl shrugged and reached for another box, inspecting it carefully. "It seems to be a human treat of sorts."
"That sounds interestin'." Jazz fumbled with the tiny box as carefully as his clawed fingers allowed him and retrieved one of the sticks before he put it to his mouth and swallowed it whole. "Not bad!"
"You shouldn't be eating that. This is contraband," the cruiser sighed heavily but knew from past experience that his reprimand would fall on deaf audios.
"It's not like th'guy's gonna come 'ere to ask for them! 'Sides, I don't think we can just turn this ta th'police." The saboteur grinned and ate more of the biscuit sticks covered in strawberry flavored cream. "There's a whole lotta flavors 'ere!"
Knowing the Pontiac was right, Prowl decided not to argue and allowed him to keep the boxes of pocky. "Where is Prime? I need to report to him properly."
"He's out runnin' some errands for a few 'friends' o' us. He'll be here first thing in the mornin'." Jazz decided two boxes in thirty seconds were more than enough for the time being and gathered the boxes to store them on his room. "By the way, I don't think Optimus assigned ya a room yet so ya can stay at my quarters. I've got two berths there."
Prowl nodded his thanks and followed after the smaller mech, hoping tomorrow would be a better day. Sadly for him, Ironhide and Ratchet's quarters happened to be right across from Jazz's and they decided to have another verbal match.
Prowl groaned wearily and buried his face on the surface of the berth, wondering how Jazz could recharge when those two were bickering. He prayed the verbal sparring would stay at that, but knowing the weapons specialist and medic, the possibility of Ratchet demonstrating his pitcher capabilities was high.
"Primus, just deactivate me now."
The sounds of rustling inside of a box made him turn around and look over to the berth on the other side of the room, finally realizing Jazz was -not- recharging. "Are you still eating those things?" Prowl asked in disbelief.
"I can't stop!" Jazz whined and sat up on the berth, reaching for another pack of pocky from the box he had put down by his recharging platform. "I think I'm addicted." He chuckled sheepishly and proceeded to open the pack and swallow the contents like a fun-sized pack of cookies.
Prowl heaved a sigh and just watched the Pontiac devour the human treats. "You might want to talk with Ratchet about that in the morning."
"I will." Jazz nodded and glanced in direction of the medic's and his mate's quarters, realizing the bickering and yelling had stopped. "Oh boy."
"What?"
"Do ya know what happens after Ratchet an' Ironhide yell at each other all day?" Jazz asked with a mischievous grin.
The police interceptor stared at Jazz with a hint of confusion for a moment before he caught the hint in Jazz's voice. "They wouldn't..."
"They will."
And Primus, were they loud.
--------------------
Notes: Okaaay, I'm -still- trying to figure out the kinks about Prowl's alternate mode on this. Not sure if he should just get his paintjob tweaked to change the kanji on his paint job to 'Highway Patrol' or have him scan a local patrol -which would make him look like Barricade since most of the police vehicles nowdays are painted very similar to Barricade. Suggestions about this issue -wether to alter his paintjob or scan another patrol car- are very very appreciated.