Democracy - It Makes You Scintillate

[martini_corona]

I realized recently that Barack Obama's campaign logo reminds me of Pepsi. And Obama, like Pepsi, is presenting himself as the Choice of a New Generation.* So, clearly all the other candidates need to be assigned beverages as well. With the help of DJ Funkistat, I present:

WHAT REFRESHING THIRST-QUENCHER IS YOUR CANDIDATE?

John McCain: Coca-Cola

Comments

[chieur]

Did you actually come up with this all on your onesies? It's fucking fantastic. Particularly Guiliani = egg cream.

Go you.

[martini_corona]

Aw, thanks! It's the result of a conversation between me and the aforementioned Mr. Funkistat, so he should also get props, though I wrote it up all on my onesies (because I was home with the flu this afternoon).

[puffy_wuffy]

Its only sad that none of these drinks are Gatorade or any caffeine power drinks like Red Bull . . . we could use some of that for our country, ah-yup.

[martini_corona]

You have a point. But do we really want our leaders fidgeting like 7-year-olds hopped up on Sour Patch Kids? That level of instability seems more appropriate to the Italian Parliament.

Also: Bud Extra features not only caffeine, but also guarana and ginseng. If Huckabee makes a comeback, RUN.

[in_parentheses]

Howard Dean is Red Bull, with the screaming. Do they make green-flavored Red Bull?

[in_parentheses]

This is GENIUS! Especially Hillary, because...yes. Also I want sweet tea now.

But you forgot Nader! Let's see...something tiresome, yet rebellious, to which some are slavishly devoted but most wish would go away forever, if they notice it at all...H2Om Intention new age bullshit water?

[martini_corona]

I had no idea what you were talking about and was like "Sam has gone crazy" and then I clicked the link and Nooooooooo I can't believe that exists.

You really think Nader is that floofy? I want him to be something that used to be really cool and edgy and embraced by hipsters everywhere but is now so over it is just laughable. Like. Um. Absinthe?

[in_parentheses]

Oh, and did you notice the 1965 Mountain Dew slogan: "Yahoo Mountain Dew... It'll Tickle Your Innards"?

...ew.

[bwilder]

Giuliani made me laugh out loud. These are excellent!

[martini_corona]

I will admit to being inspired mostly by Giuliani's prominent, shiny forehead. It is eggy. Finding that quote was a stroke of excellent luck.