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Comments 8

ophite68 May 19 2009, 16:45:31 UTC
In general I like the story. Two things though. The time shifts are not very clearly marked, it would help if they were separated with different font or marked with a spacer when they occur ( ... )

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maroon_sue May 25 2009, 11:28:41 UTC
I'm sorry the change in scenes gives you trouble. I'll double check on them next time :)

The fact that Max and Alex were other and Dean and Sam were not was in large part dealt with in the first two chapters, the boys saw the trannie blur in their initial fight and Max and Alec saw that Dean and Sam didn't respond in kind. The discussion on details was avoided, but here it is presented as more of a total surprise to all involved.
The boys didn't really see the transgenic blur during the first night Max and Alec arrived. The issue was forgotten when M/A passed the holy water/silver bullet tests and when Dean assumed Alec was his son from the future. But when they saw it in broad daylight, (the blurring part, I mean) they knew they had assumed a lot of things and demanded to know the real fact.

But yeah, you are one of my more thorough readers :) Thanks for pointing it out to me though! And again, thank you for reading and for the review too :D

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kaddywhak May 21 2009, 01:36:05 UTC
I'm really liking this! Especially the flips back and forth between past, present, and future. One thing about that though, you need to signal that you're switching, because in the last couple chapters I've just been going along, and suddenly Mole or someone is in Dean's time and I have to go back and find the point where it switched. :)

Other than that though, great fic! Dean thinking Alec's his son was so cute. :P I can't wait for more.

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maroon_sue May 25 2009, 11:12:27 UTC
Thanks for the review :) I'll keep your suggestion in mind for the next chapter. I did try to separate the scenes but I guess some of the formatting were lost in the transition between Word and LJ. But no worries, I'll know what to look out for next time :D

Again, thanks for reading and reviewing!

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mangacat201 June 28 2009, 09:39:34 UTC
Oh now, that's a tight spot there. Interesting how you weaved together the timethreads and the flashbacks and Dean's daddy issues *hilarious* ehehehe
Cat

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maroon_sue June 29 2009, 01:49:15 UTC
Thanks!

I'm trying something new with the different timeline and I'm really glad you're enjoying it :)

Thanks for the review, Cat! :D

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dark_spn_angel February 17 2011, 01:41:46 UTC
'Shouldn’t he pine or grovel or cry or just look plain miserable?' -- that right there makes me hate Max even more.....why should Alec be miserable? He's having a blast during that car ride with the Winchesters (and I'm glad for that).

I always hated that Alec never showed Max that he was better and more trained than her. Max always fights dirty (that's the only reason why she wins) while Alec could take her out in mere seconds because he's got 10 years on her! (sorry for the ranting there....Team Alec if there was ever a dispute between MA)

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maroon_sue February 22 2011, 03:40:48 UTC
Don't be sorry about that, we all need to rant now and again :D I like to think that Alec is more of a gentleman than he lets on, that's why he never show off even though he has the upper hand. Sure, he acts all cocky but I think it's just an act he puts on to hide something deeper.

And Max, I love her character and all but I think she shoots people down without even thinking about it, her defense mechanism maybe. She sees that she's the only one being miserable and she takes it out on the most available person there, Alec. He's her own personal portable punching bag in a way. But hopefully she'll grow out of it soon :)
Again, thanks for the review!

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