Between Love and Hate: Chapter 5
A/N: This chapter is rated M for a bit of heat-y stuff and a lil bashing around, physically and emotionally.
A/N2: It took me a month, give or take to finish this chapter. I wrote bits and pieces while waiting for the bus to go to work. I added more pieces during my lunch break. The sacrifices I made for you guys ;) And for Shay, who starts hounding me for an update. Look sweetie.. long chapter, just for you ;)
Oh panda, this is an early Birthday present for you hee!
Beta: The super awesome Alexis, who for me is the next best thing since sliced bread and the dude who invented the toaster *hugs*
Back to Chapter 4
Chapter 5: Hot Ice, Cold Fire
Behind the swirls of stubborn clouds, the sun struggled to penetrate the thick gray layer. The day was heavy with promises of tears, gray fog and rain. The wind picked up speed, howling its annoyance to anyone within hearing as it raced across the trees like a grumpy old man poking his stick at anything in its way.
From the lightening shadows, a figure stumbled out. His disheveled air was more pronounced by his messy hair. Dirty streaks of brown hair were falling into dilated bloodshot eyes, the black pupil had crowded over leaving only a hint of green around the edges. He was breathing hard, the chest under his jacket moving furiously. He had been running hard by the look of it. His dark jacket hung listlessly on his frame, the ends swishing against his black jeans as his feet padded softly through the grass.
He stopped by one of the trees and leaned against the rough bark before running his hand through his tousled hair, sweat sliding down his hard jaw before disappearing under his collar. Overhead, the clouds darkened; an ominous warning. His eyes darted upwards, scanning the overcast sky and a sliver of light fell to illuminate his pallid skin. He knew she was close, he could sense it. Running the back of his hand over his eyes, he grunted, before his fingers wandered to the back of his neck, massaging the tense cords.
His fingers hovered over the wound, the jagged area where her teeth had pierced skin and he hissed. He gingerly touched the area, the stretch where his neck met his shoulder and shuddered. The spot was still tender, still painful and it brought forth images of her pressed tightly against him, of fiery heat, of intense need. He lifted his fingertips; not seeing the blood stained tips and stared dazedly ahead, his thoughts already on a different subject.
How could he forget her? Her long dark hair falling in soft waves and gentle curls around her shoulders. Her soft smile as she laughed at him. The way she bit her lips as she giggled. Her quick glance, that little twinkle in her eyes. How could he forget everything? How could he not remember her?
He straightened; resolved hardening his features and he started to walk. He’ll make it right. He owed it to her.
-*-
‘Who am I?’ she whispered, her lips a mere breath away.
‘Max,’ he murmured, his eyes turning dark in passion. One hand tightened in her hair as need reared and demanded to be filled.
‘Tell me again.’
‘Max,’ he kissed her, hard, bruising her lips. ‘Max… You’re mine.’
Heat was a peculiar thing, pushed forward by the animal side of their genetically engineered DNA. Heat was all about instinct and need. The instinct to mate, to press yourself against a guy; the need to hold him close, to have your skin over, under, and around his. Max had always hated that part of her but she had learned to live with it. Heat always brought out the worst in her, made her jumpy and crazy but it had always passed without anything major happening, leaving her unscathed. She had never been around her own kind before so the possessiveness she was feeling now was new. It was like she was claiming him as hers as she ran her hands over him, leaving behind invisible mark of ownership.
Yes, mine.
The fire flowed swiftly through her veins, heating her from within. Her eyes glowed as she lifted her head from his. He leaned his head and smiled, all teeth as he waited for her next move.
So she had him pushed against the wall, needing something solid behind them as she rubbed her toes over his calf, her fingers sliding under his shirt, popping his buttons in her haste while her tongue was memorizing the contour of his lips. He was more than happy to comply, his own hand was stroking the smooth heated skin of her back, tugging relentlessly at her top. Her body happily agreed, leaving her panting; the wetness within her increasing, yearning for more.
She shuddered as his warm fingertips glided over her skin, building the fire into a furnace. She pried her eyes open and saw that he was staring, the green of his eyes blazing, a complete contrast to his lazy smile.
Max blinked and the headiness lifted for a second.
He’s not Alec! He’s gonna dump you the minute it’s over. You don’t want that.
No, he won’t. He loves me!
He doesn’t even remember you.
It’s Alec. He won’t hurt me. He wouldn’t.
He saw the hesitation in her eyes and anger started bubbling under the red hot lust that she could even think of something… or someone else right now. The smirk was tinged with a hint of feline as he pushed away from the wall and turned, shoving her against the brick wall. The impact sent a wave of intense throbbing, her hand instinctively clutching her wounded side. Under the bandage, a thin line of blood seeped through, running down her hips but the pain vaporized the instant his lips crashed into hers, hot and demanding. He moaned when a flash of memory burst like fireworks in his head.
The cold feeling of purpose washed over him as he strode inside, his eyes impersonal as they ran across the foyer.
Suddenly he was in front of another door. For some reason, the black iron Manticore door repulsed him. Or rather, his new mission repulsed him. But he squared his shoulders like any good soldier and waited for the door to open for him.
He staggered back, panting. Her lips trailed after him, fire turning her eyes golden. Her fingers tangled in his hair and she pulled him back to her. ‘I want you.’
‘You must be him. I’ve been waiting for you.’ Soft smile lighting her dark eyes as she waited for him, her fingers caressing the shiny surface of the piano.
Another pair of dark eyes frowned, brow furrowed. She was angry, she was disgusted; he could see how her muscles were all tensed up. ‘My what?’ For some reason, her reaction amused him. Which prompted him to elaborate and he almost laughed out loud when her eyes widened in repulse, ‘Breeding partner? That’s sick.’
The blurry shards of memory fluttered away when she arched towards him. It robbed him of any sane thoughts when her breasts pressed deliciously against his chest. ‘I need you.’
‘What the hell was that?!’ He was clutching his middle, the shock that someone managed to land a kick on him pushed aside the sting of pain, frowning at her reply, ‘The only kind of physical contact you and I are gonna have.’
‘It's fine. Just watch your dynamics.’ Something inside him broke as she gave him one of her soft smiles before she dropped her head, focusing on her fingers.
His shoulders bunched when he lifted her higher, pulled her tighter against him. Her head rolled back when he nipped her lower lips, her moans needy when his hips grated against hers. ‘Alec… stay with me.’
He held out a trembling hand to caress the soft satiny skin of her cheek as he whispered gently, ‘I won’t let him hurt you again, Max, never again.’
The light bounced softly in her dark hair as she waded towards him. ‘In case you hadn't noticed, I've been sort of throwing myself at you for the past few weeks. Don't you like me?’ His response was automatic. ‘I like you.’ When she leaned in and pressed her lips softly against his, he was stunned. His eyes were wide as he stared at her. ‘I like you a lot.’
He pressed deeper in between her thighs because his knees needed the support, his tongue silken and hot against hers. Her fingers wandered down, feeling a hard wall of muscles under her sensitive fingertips. She stopped for a second when her fingers touched the band of his jeans, tracing the worn denim with the tip of her fingers before slipping inside. All that warm smooth skin waiting for her touch. His breath came out in a hiss, eyes almost closed when her nails lightly scratched his neck, just above his barcode.
He stopped when he came to a shabby looking door; the paint had peeled off in some places, scratches adorning the dark piece of wood with its abrasive art but none of that mattered to him. He took one deep breath and then he just pushed the door open, stepping over the boundary to the other side. To face the enemy.
‘Okay,’ he swallowed hard before plunging ahead. ‘I was sent here to kill your father.’ The horror and terror in her eyes almost destroyed him. He did that to her but he forced the rest out bitterly. ‘It was my job. You were my job.’
‘…But the naked fear I felt, it made me feel like I was better off dead along with you so that I didn’t have to feel anything like that again.’ He remembered her words, ringing insistently in his ears as he thrashed between asleep and awake. It bounded constantly against his battered soul and every time it did so, a deep mark was left behind.
‘I love you.’ He gulped because of the truth shining from her eyes. She really did love him. And it scared the crap out of him. ‘Your hands are shaking.’
No… no… he can’t let her do that… His head thrashed against his pillow, he was sweating so hard it looked like someone had just poured a bucket of water all over him. ‘…I was better off dead along with you…’ Nooo! He shot up in bed, eyes glazed over and fear imprinted on them.
‘It was my job. You were my job.’ She had slapped him and broke into tears before running down the stairs. He reached out to stop her but he can only grab the locket that she always wore. ‘Daddy!’
He pushed away from her, taking gulps of air; his eyes were almost black in his turmoil. ‘God… oh god. What have I done?’
-*-
The barkeep lifted his eyes from the glass he was cleaning, somewhat curious as two men marched close. Men in carefully pressed suits have never been part of his usual clientele. He’d seen a lot but apparently there’s a first for everything, if you live long enough. ‘What can I do for you fellas today?’
‘We need to find someone.’
-*-
Behind closed eyes, tears burnt hotly, desperate for a way out. She gripped the thin blanket in trembling hands, her whole body shaking. Curling her legs upwards, she forced down the strangled sob. She knew he had left, had felt it the second he lifted himself from her, the instant his feet touched the cold floor, the moment the door slammed behind him.
She would have plastered herself to him, begged him to stay, kissed him so he wouldn’t know day from night. Except for one thing.
One word from him. Two syllabus that tore her chest open and sliced her raw heart to pieces. Spoken in a breathless whisper, so soft she would’ve missed it if it weren’t for her transgenic hearing, filled with so much longing and love that her heart stopped beating and died on the spot.
Rachel.
His lips had whispered Rachel, not Max.
Even all this time, he wanted Rachel. He still yearned for her, longed to touch her. She had been a pale replacement for him, and that hurt. Deeply. She would’ve lashed out, slapped him, shook him into understanding. She’s dead, I’m here. Look at me. I’m here and I love you.
But his eyes had a glazed sheen that she had never seen before and he was staring at a point just beyond her shoulder. His lips moved around that damned name.
Rachel.
Max started to know how it felt to hate another human being, wholeheartedly. That was agonizing enough, yes, but then came the part that severed her into bleeding pieces, thrown unnoticed around his feet.
‘Rachel… God, I love you. I’m sorry…’
Her death grip on his arm slipped, cold hand sliding down his body and like a mannequin whose stings had been cut, she dropped to the floor. A dejected heap at his feet.
He hadn’t even noticed.
She pushed herself to look up at him, eyes burning with the tears she refused to shed. He was still staring dead ahead, reliving a faraway and half buried memory. Forcing her arms to move, she grabbed him and pulled herself up.
No, she will not give up on him. Not now. Not after what had happen.
‘Alec,’ she had forced her numb fingers to curl over his stiff jaw. ‘Alec, look at me.’
Maybe it was the desperation in her hoarse voice or the shaking cold fingers on his face but he complied. He focused on her and she swallowed. He was looking at her but he didn’t see her. It was time to fight or die.
‘Alec, it’s me, Max. Tell me you remember me, please? You have to remem…’ His eyes started to stray from hers and she gripped his shirt in desperation. ‘Look at me. Dammit Alec, just look at me!’
‘What do you want from me?’ he roared, ‘I don’t even know you.’
‘No, you’re lying!’ She whimpered, the wound was clear in her eyes and it slashed at him that he did this to her but without another thought, he tossed it aside. She was no one, he didn’t recognize her.
‘You know me. Why are you doing this?’ she had slumped against him, burning eyes were pressed against his chest. He could feel her small frame shaking. ‘It’s Max. Alec, please…’
He tore her from him, shaking her shoulders as if trying to force some sense into her. The end of her hair brushed against his arms and he pushed her away from him. ‘I don’t know you. You might not believe me, but I just know your name, that’s all. That’s it.’
‘You love me. Those words are already deeply engraved in your heart, forgetting them was not possible... that’s what you said to me. Don’t you remember? You love me!’
‘I love her.’ the words felt harsh so he turned away from her tear-filled eyes. ‘Rachel. I love her and she paid for it.’
She stumbled away from him; her eyes wide with hurt and betrayal. ‘Get out.’ It came out as a hoarse whisper as she clumsily widened the gap between them. Her fingers touched something dusty but she didn’t even care what it was when she hurled it towards him, half blinded by fury and tears. ‘Get out! Get away from me.’
The dusty ceramic smashed a few feet behind him but he didn’t even flinch, he was looking at the trembling figure hunched against the wall. Her pale face was pinched, her hair was matted down from sweat, black stringy locks hanging crazily, eyes watering but by the look of her clenched lips, she won’t be crying any time soon. Something clawed at his frozen heart, his fingers twitched unexpectedly and his heel lifted, eyes trained on her crumpled form. He took one involuntary step towards her before he realized what he was about to do.
No, he had to get to Rachel. The mystery that had haunted him had been lifted. She was the one in his nightmare, the one he had to save. He had to save her from Manticore. It all made sense now. Everything had fallen into place.
Max lifted her glassy eyes the moment he turned and seeing him walking away from her ripped her dying soul into ragged bloody parts. She scrambled up, scraping her knees and palms from the loose stones, urged forward by her fear. She stopped him in his track when she glued herself to him, her cheek pressed against the hard wall of his back, her hands fisted in his shirt.
‘Please Alec, don’t leave me.’ Her whisper was as soft as a butterfly wings, batting its plea against his confused mind.
‘I have to go.’ The reluctance was there. Max heard it, felt it and she couldn’t stop the hope from blooming.
‘You’re mine. Stay here with me, please.’
‘No. my place is with…’
‘Stop it,’ she screamed, moving jerkily to face him. ‘You’re making a mistake. You know you’re making a mistake. That’s not what you’re supposed to remember. Look at me.’ Under his shirt, her nails left half crescent marks on his skin but he was too preoccupied with the strained hope in her eyes to feel the pain. ‘Look me in the eye and tell me you didn’t feel a thing.’
His hand lifted as in a daze, framing her pale face. Max leaned into his touch, her fingers entwined with his as slowly her eyes flickered close. Something inside him shattered when her fingers tightened around his. His heart hummed in agreement but his head was screaming something else.
‘I don’t know what I feel. I…’ He pulled his hand abruptly away, shaking his head in bewilderment.
She didn’t give him a chance to finish what he was about to say, she didn’t want to hear anything else about Ra… that other woman anyway. Max tightened her hold on him, her nails almost breaking skin in her despair and pulled him close. So close that his shallow breath whispered over her chilly skin.
His eyes narrowed at the pain before his pupils dilated; the residual surge of her pheromones hitting his senses. Uncertainty left and was quickly replaced with fire. He forced her to part her lips under his assaulting force and gathered her to him when her body softened, pliant in his embrace.
She closed her eyes and pressed herself to him, for the first time in her life praying hard, hoping fiercely that her Heat could bind him to her for awhile. She didn’t know how Heat worked exactly but she was more than hoping it could buy her more time.
She needed to stop him from leaving. To give her enough time to sort out the mistake of his memory. If he remembered Rachel, he was bound to remember her too… sooner or later. She refused to believe otherwise. Max pushed at his shirt with demanding fingers, wanting desperately to feel his skin on hers before tugging frantically at his pants.
She gasped when he broke the kiss, scraping his teeth at the soft skin of her neck, before running his tongue over her jugular. Her jacket were tossed aside before his fingers wormed under her top, his rough fingertips feeding a trail of sparks from his skin to hers. Her legs trembled and her arms tightened itself around him for support.
Her head dropped back, her neck curved away from the wall when his fingers hovered over her heated skin. She could feel his warmth, only a breath away but he was in a playful mood, his fingers just floating over her touch-deprived skin. Her hips thrust towards his hand and her nails buried itself in his shoulder. She did not want to play now.
He laughed, his hand gripping her hips before his knee nudged at her thighs, forcing her to open her legs wider. She ran her fingers through his hair, urging him with the rhythm he had set when her eyes caught his.
Under the red hot fire lapping over the green of his eyes, she saw the turmoil of his confusion pooling underneath. And she knew without a doubt that the second the uncertainty broke through, he’d be gone. Free to find that other girl. From her constricted throat, a low rumbled surfaced, pushed forward by a primal emotion.
Jealousy. Possessive. He’s mine, dammit.
She ran her lips across his jaw, sliding her tongue over the hollow of his throat. She could feel the pleased agreement rumbled from his chest. Suddenly, the image of him walking away drove her to bare her teeth before sinking it into his flesh. No, you’re mine. The instant her teeth break through his skin, his blood spurted into her mouth and a part of her heard his ragged moan before his knees gave way.
They both tumbled to the floor, the dust swirled around them and the only thing that prevented him from falling back and cracking his skull open was her hold on him. Even then, he hit the ground with a gasp, his eyes rolling in his head when he felt her wet tongue sliding over the bleeding wound.
Max didn’t bother to wipe her mouth, his blood still glistening in the corners of her lips. He gasped when she forced her tongue in and he could taste the tang of his own blood. Under the persistent tug of his lips, she smiled, somewhat predatory as she moved to straddle him, rocking herself against his hardness as she did so.
He hissed again when her nails tightened into his slick side.
Her thighs gripped his hips as she moved. The hiss was involuntary, snatched from his throat when he felt her sliding down and his abs muscles tensed as he pushed upwards. She laughed, her head thrown back, hair cascading down as the long line of her exposed neck and her glistening torso drew his eyes and his blood boiled and simmered even hotter.
He swallowed. God, she was beautiful. Like a goddess from another lifetime. His hand traveled from her moving hips to her ribs. She grinned down at him and gripped his hands, peeling them away from her body. Her head dropped to his, smiling when he grunted, his hips demanding more from her. She pushed his hands away from their bodies, trapping his fingers with her own. He resisted but her hold was firm. Her eyes lighten with a possessive new sheen. Mine.
Her thighs tightened around him as she moved her body excruciatingly over his hardness. The groan rumbled from his chest to hers and her lips slid downwards to his ears. His knee jerked when her teeth sank lightly into the side of his neck, his arms twitching as he tried to break free from her hold.
Max growled, both her thighs and hands gripped him harder than ever. No, mine.
He was sweating now, as was she as she moved over him, still refusing him the completion he wanted. He arched into her and she finally complied, grunted as he slid into her tight wet warmth. Her eyes fluttered closed as he filled her and when she opened them, he could see something different in its dark depths. She let go of his arms, her fingers trailing to his shoulders.
They rocked into each other, grunting, sweat sliding down slick limbs. His eyes blazed when she ground herself on him, hard. He surged up, his hands on her hips, his lips suddenly on hers. Her legs tightened around him, her heel digging into his back. Her nails dug into his barcode when his teeth scraped over her collarbone.
Her inner walls tightened around him, the same time his teeth sank into the soft swell of her breast, right above her heart. The scream muffled in her throat as she sank into him, boneless. Spent.
He sagged backwards, gathering her closer to him as they snuggled in the afterglow of lovemaking. Her lips wandered to his shoulder, smiling inwardly at the mark she had left behind. Satisfied.
My mate. Mine.
Second part~~